"What am I to you?" Bedside words, such frivolous and untrustworthy things, yet Dino took his Kyoya's response straight to the heart.
… "You are nothing".
Nothing but dust in the wind.
Nothing.
Nothing
NOTHING.
Those words reverberated in his mind. Pounding on his consciousness, reminding him time and again that his Kyoya was not, and would never be, his.
Nothing? All the years he took to warm up to Kyoya, to unfreeze his icy exterior, to erase all doubt and fear towards him all came to naught? Dino could not accept this.
Sitting on his couch in the Cavallone office, Dino looked at the table in front of him. A plain wooden table, decorated with a spring of daffodils. Picking up the flowers, Dino pondered over their past.
"Kyoya! Wait up!"
"Kyoya, stop running away from me!"
"Kyoya, why are you ignoring me?"
Sometimes, Dino felt inferior. All the time he had spent with Kyoya, involved him chasing after his beloved skylark, forever in the shadow of his wings, craning his neck to gaze at him, straining is legs just to brush his shadow. Like the dog and a butterfly, reaching up to the sky, only to fall back to the ground, never to reach the sweet reward. Every time he felt like he was close enough to catch him, to touch him, he would fall back down the ground, laughing, he didn't know why. It was a pointless existence.
*snap* the thin stalk of flowers snapped between his hands.
Sometimes, Dino felt scared. His Kyoya scared him. Standing there in a pool of blood, the dark substance matted into his ebony hair, staining those porcelain cheeks, dark eyes ablaze with an icy fire and determination. This Kyoya was beautiful, yet terrifying. He loved Kyoya like this. Filled with raw emotion, not the faceless mask he usually presented. Yet he was scared. Scared that he would not be good enough for Kyoya, not competent enough to fight beside this magnificent beast.
*tear* *snap* His dexterous fingers mutilated the innocent flowers in his hands.
Sometimes his fear would get the better of him, eating him away from the inside, corroding his confidence.
This fear would try to kill him, and kill his relationship with his Kyoya.
This in turn, amplified his low self esteem and uncertainty, which was brough to light by his Kyoya's harsh words.
Letting the broken flowers fall to the ground, Dino leaned back, closing his eyes.
Sometimes, Dino felt tired. Tired of all the chasing, all the pain and sadness, the feelings of incompetence. Kyoya was his student and friend, yet he treated him like he would any other pest.
Dino felt tired.
Hopless.
Useless.
Unworthy.
And in the deep recesses of his mind, Dino cried.
Midori tanabiku namimori no
Dai naku shou naku nami ga ii
Itsumo kawaranu
Sukoyaka kenage
Aah, tomo ni utaou
Namimori chuu
"Shhh hibird. I'm trying to think"
Hibari sat in his office in school, his eyes never leaving the small Hibird plushie on the table. Said plushie was matted with dirt, and a little scuffed, but it was still one of the most adorable things he had ever seen. The poor thing was in such a sad state because the first time Dino gave it to him, he had thrown it out of the window in annoyance. Somehow, though, he found himself looking for it among the bushes and bringing it back.
Such a herbivorous act.
Grah! He was so frustrated with himself.
He felt as if, his soul was being torn away, reshaped, and remoulded. The Hibari Kyoya he knew himself as was gone.
Why? What brought about this change? He was getting weaker. Getting emotional and soft. He was slowly becoming human.
A HERBIVORE.
This, this was all Dino's fault. That stupid bronco had invaded his life, his home, and his heart. And had made a permanent residence there.
He didn't know what to do. A part of him was clinging vehemently to his fractured mask, gathering back the pieces, trying to cover the foolish naivety that started to grow on him. Yet, another part of him embraced the change, and wanted badly to just give in to Dino and his charms.
Yet, he could not do that.
He still had his duty, to the school and to himself. Who was he to go off gallivanting with some rich Italian heir?
Yet, his heart was, slowly but surely melting.
How though? How would he express his feelings? Hibari had always been socially awkward and shy, he feared that any signs of affection and acceptance towards Dino would be taken badly.
Frustration! Why was he mulling over such matters like a lovesick girl?
Grabbing the Hibird plushie once again, Hibari threw it out of the window.
Watching the light yellow replica fly, he couldn't help but feel a sudden sense of loss and regret. Sinking back into his chair, Hibari sighed as he shut his eyes, leaning back onto his chair.
Dino Cavallone.
I... you...
-*-*-*-
In the pouring rain, a dejected looking plush toy lay in the middle of a pavement.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
The rain continued to fall.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
A young man walked out into the rain.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
Empty, dejected eyes stared at the mass of yellow fluff before him. Kneeling down, he cradled the wet mass in his arms. Hoping the cold rain would ease the aching of his heart.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
For what seemed like eternity, he knelt there. Until the rain was stopped by a warm shadow, a warm, green and yellow presence.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
Hibari wasn't sure if the wetness on his cheeks were tears or rain. All he knew was that he was gazing into Dino's warm eyes, as his umbrella fell to the ground.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
Warmth. Safe and warm in his embrace. The rain started flowing relentlessly, torrents pouring down his cheeks.
*pitter patter pitter patter*
The rain continued to fall.
Washing away all their uncertainty.