Want an éclair? by Shoujo's Revenge
Summary: Lightning was not happy about a certain snack that Shinra employees were provided in the break room.
Disclaimer: Square Enix created both FFVII and FFXIII.
A/N: So I was trying to find anything making fun of Lightning's original Japanese name which is Eclaire. I only found two pictures. Only one FFXIII fanfiction mentions the relation to the French pastry from what I found so far.
Serah's original name was supposed to be Croissant Farron. Their father must've talked his wife out of naming her after her favorite breakfast pastry. Lightning wondered why her father didn't intervene when her mother named her after his favorite French pastry. She closed her eyes, taking in the scent of the coffee before sipping the bitter liquid.
Whatever the case may be I don't care anymore. As long as nobody finds out my real name...Oh, that's right. I should remind myself to call Croissant today or she'll nag me about the importance of keeping touch again.
Her nagging tended to remind Lightning of Angeal and his speeches about honour and hope. Speaking of him, Lightning straightened up from the wall besides the refreshments table as Angeal walked into the room with his friends.
"Good morning, Lightning," Angeal said, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"Morning," she said, nodding to Genesis and Sephiroth.
Genesis usually at least said "Hey." Sephiroth just returned her nod. It was a custom courtesy. After all, they did work together. The least they could do was acknowledge each other. His lips was a straight line as Genesis poured the last of the coffee into his own mug.
"I'll make a new batch," Angeal said. "Until then you should at least eat something."
He spotted a closed box of pastries. Lightning had seen that box earlier but didn't touch it. She didn't particularly like sweets which was another reason she disliked her real name.
"It's from that new French place," Genesis noted, opening the top.
Lightning spat out her coffee.
Different colors of eclairs were lined up neatly against each other. She glared at the pastries as though they were mocking her right in front of the General.
"While I did require coffee, Sargeant Farron, I certainly didn't mean for you to serve it to me this way." He snatched up napkins to wipe at his leather coat.
Genesis let out a loud snort. He was fully awake now.
"What's the matter, Lightning?" Angeal asked, noting her look of disgust. She didn't seem to notice that she spat at Sephiroth.
"Nothing," she said abruptly, walking away.
"What's her problem?" Genesis asked, licking the cream from the middle of a pink eclair.
By the time Lightning called Serah, it was quite late at night but it couldn't be helped. She just got back from a mission with Zack. That idiot was eating an eclair on the way back on the train. When he had offered her his last one, she gave him a dangerous look. He then found himself gulping in fear when Lightning pointed her gunblade at him as his finger slid in the creamy center.
"What? The cream is the best part!" He had cried, holding his hands up.
Serah picked up on the third ring.
"Hello, Farron residence." Her sister's sweet voice said.
"It's me. How are things?"
"Eclaire! Things are fine! Are you taking care of yourself? I know how you forget to eat sometimes." Serah said.
"Yes, mother, I've been eating well." Lightning rolled her eyes, smiling freely.
"Sis...I'm just looking out for you. Guess what I'm eating right now?"
"Isn't it a bit late for you to be eating? You'll get fat if you fall asleep soon."
Serah giggled. "No worries. I have fast metabolism. You know we don't get fat. Come on! Guess!"
"That's a no-brainer." Serah tended to pig out on ice cream at night. "Strawberry ice cream. You even snuck it to bed ever since you were a little girl."
"Wrong! Snow got me a box of eclairs from a nearby bakery. They're delicious."
Lightning decided to play her little game. "Serah, you know what I'm about to eat now? I'm about to smear a little strawberry jam on a fluffy warm Croissant. I can't wait until I devour this little pastry."
"You're a freak!" She could imagine Serah with a blush across her face.
"You were the one who started it."
"Good night, Eclaire."
"Night, Croissant."
"Stop calling me that!"
The next morning found Lightning leaning against the same place beside the refreshments table. She searched through all the snack boxes to find no eclairs. Good, she didn't want to deal with that again. This morning she actually did eat a croissant. She lightly buttered the plain croissant.
"Good morning, Sargeant," Cloud, one of the cadets greeted her.
Lightning nodded, taking a bite of her breakfast.
"Would you mind if I asked you something, Sargeant?" He asked, stirring the sugar into his mug of coffee.
"Shoot," she said before taking another bite.
"Zack told me what happened yesterday. What have you have against eclairs?"
She almost dropped her croissant. Then she regained her composure.
"I changed my mind. I do mind if you ask me a question." Lightning speedwalked out of the room, bumping into Sephiroth.
"Sargeant Farron, I still haven't settled yesterday's incident with you." He said before biting into a chocolate eclair.
She blushed, watching him lick the chocolate off his lips. His words didn't reach her ears.
"General Sephiroth," she breathed out. "Please stop doing that." He took another bite, a smudge of chocolate was stuck on the corner of his mouth.
"What are you referring to?"
She pointed to the offending pastry.
"This is my breakfast. I didn't have time for anything else."
"General, there's something-" She indicated his mouth. "Oh, to hell with it!"
Leaning up, she stood on her tippy toes and pressed her lips on the corner of his mouth. Her tongue flicked across his skin.
"Hmm, it tastes good," she sighed.
Everybody else dropped their eclairs to the floor in shock.
ALTERNATE ENDING
"Sargeant Farron, I still haven't settled yesterday's incident with you." He said before biting into a chocolate eclair.
"AHH!"
"What's her problem?" Genesis said.
"I don't know," said Angeal.
A/N: Sorry...I didn't do a good job. I wanted this to be hilarious and smart. It even seemed incestous in that conversation with Serah. There was even OOC-ness. Ugh, facepalm!
Edited on 8/12/13