The sun was at its peak and we still haven't gotten up yet. The events of the previous night a chain binding us together. But you wanted to be free. Free of my love; free of the chains. It must've been hard for you to breathe as I leaned in close to you and kissed your fretted forehead, because you bolted up and wrapped the covers around you. I tried not to let myself feel hurt as I watched, with dark eyes, as you settled into your new position away from me. I glanced down at my fingertips and caressed the red sheets, my frown a weight on my face. I never understood the space between the two of us. We've done this enough times to call it a routine. And yet, the space between us continued to grow like a raging ocean. The tension in the room was sickening. A cloud covered the sun.
"I better get going." Your voice was rushed as you scrambled off the bed faster than I could count seconds.
I tried to reach to your retreating figure and cried when you hurriedly shoved on each article of clothes long forgotten the night before. "Can't you stay just a little longer? I wouldn't mind having breakfast with you." My voice was shaky and desperate, my mouth running dry and my tongue swiping at my bruised lips.
Forcing your foot into the wrong shoe, you turned and stared at me astonished. Then your expression turned sour, "You know very well that I can't do that."
"Just this once," I tried, "please?"
You shook your head and made your way towards the door, "See you around."
I felt as if I was running out of breath; running out of time. And in some twisted way, I was. You were slipping through my fingers. A black ink disappearing between the cracks but staining me, as if to tease me with something I want but could never have. My heart ached and I did the one thing I did every encounter with you.
"Wait!" I called helplessly. You paused and glared at me as I searched the drawers beside the bed.
"I really should be going-"
I held up a single rusted penny, half out of breath. My heart was in my throat. There was a thick silence that was suffocating as your brown eyes looked from the tiny piece of metal clutched between two fingers and my close-to-crying face. My chest heaved as I gasped in air. The silence was killing me. And you finished me off when you walked over to me, snatched the penny from my hand, and left without a word. The dull thud of the door closing was enough to let me know you were gone and wouldn't be coming back. At that moment my heart shattered, and it wouldn't be fixed.
"I loved you, Yuuri Katsuki."