Author's Notes: All righty. This was one I wasn't originally planning to author at all. I knew in my head the back story and I thought to reveal it little by little via one shots, Pet and then it's sequel but there were still some questions even I as an author had that wouldn't get answered so here we go. I figured I would give us some sort of Prequel to tell us fully what happened during Livia's time with Jocelyn. I always hated doing something like this mostly because I'm a die hard A/O fan but I made the decision to flesh out Jocelyn even more and her relationship with Livia as well as Livia's relationship with Mitsuru and the other servants in the manor. So hopefully this one won't make anyone want to kill me for choosing to do this. If the reviews aren't here or everyone hates it I'll scrap it completely and just leave it with Pet and one shots within it's universe. I originally thought this one would be a one shot but it's shaping up to be more so let me know what you think and I'll see if this one gets reviews about updating it regularly along with the other stories I'm working on.

Loss of Self

Prologue:

Detective Benson sat at her desk late that night studying the case file in her hand. Her desk lamp was the only light on in the old station house, everyone including Elliot having gone home for the evening and yet she still pressed on. She supposed the silence of her own apartment didn't make things easier when it came to silencing the voices of the victims she could hear in her head.

Currently the detectives were investigating a ring of slavers who would kidnap young men, women and children and sell them to the highest bidder bringing in a lot of money. Truthfully the slavers were careful but they had slipped. Olivia could see clear as day if she closed her eyes the broken haunted face of a child who's soul had been brutally torn apart. Meghan was seven years old, with dark hair and grey eyes. She still retained the pudginess of a little child but it was clear to see that in a few years she would be tall and very beautiful judging by her face shape and full lips. Her mother was a hooker who had sold the child to the slavers a few weeks prior to the Detectives finding her and they wouldn't have found her if it hadn't been for the child's mouth.

Apparently she was quite feisty and she had continued to mouth off. The child had been raped and beaten and dropped, no longer able to get her worth on the market apparently. Most people didn't want their slaves to know the intimate touch of another hence why they were often bought so young and trained to be the perfect slaves. Meghan was destined for that life until she'd defied the slavers.

When the Detectives were called to the scene the child was being bundled up in a blanket and put on a stretcher, her lips, fingers, and toes almost blue from exposure. It had snowed the previous day and Olivia found herself disbelieving that the child had made it so long in the gauzy little dress without giving in to hypothermia and dying. The little one was a fighter though and she hadn't given up it was something to be admired despite her sad circumstances.

She'd agreed to ride with the child to Memorial figuring it would be easier on Elliot to stay and work the scene since the child still unconscious was so young and obviously reminded the ex-Marine of his own children in some ways.

The child hadn't woken up for two days but when she did she had done nothing but scream and fight if a man was in the room with her. It was left up to Olivia to finally get the child to calm down enough to tell them what happened. It was slow going, the child still leery of adults but she finally got some of the story from her. Her mother in a desperate attempt to get high had sold her daughter to a man in a nice car. He was a portly fellow with a beard and little hair on top of his head. He was short and had a slight limp that caused him to walk with a cane. He'd drugged the child by giving her a soda and something to eat which admittedly the child knew she shouldn't have eaten but not eating in two days would make anyone want something and she wanted it badly. When she'd woken up she had been locked in a cell with three other children, two of which were younger than her one of which was older. The older girl Kimberly had been the one to tell her to keep her mouth shut and try to behave. The only thing Meghan could tell them about Kimberly was that she had hair the color of Olivia's and eyes like one of the nurses, her eyes were a bright blue.

The longer Meghan stayed with the girls the more she was exposed to. Kimberly would try to care for them but at twelve that was a bit harder to do. Men constantly came in and out of their cells, large men with guns and sometimes baseball bats. One of them, Meghan remembered would leer at Kimberly and try to get her to take her pants off in front of him. It was disgusting, Olivia recalled Meghan saying with a wrinkle of her nose. But Kimberly never gave and he wouldn't lay a hand on her. One night though he got a bit hands on and Meghan said she'd bitten him in an attempt to get him off Kimberly. He'd smacked her so hard she'd hit the wall of their little room which she'd stated was made of big concrete blocks.

He'd beaten on her more until one of the other men came and pulled him off but at that point it was too late. Meghan though she was hurting and crying started screaming. The portly man with the cane came in after a while and told them to get rid of her, she was damaged goods and wouldn't gain enough money at auction.

Even Olivia a hardened sex crimes cop, had been a bit green when the child described her abuse and then the way the men had hurt her so badly between her legs and then left her to die in the elements. The most haunting of all though had been her cold dead eyes that never gave away any emotion at all.

"What have you got people?" Cragen asked as stepped from his office. Almost thirty six hours had passed since this case had landed in their lap, most of which he knew his Detectives had been up for. Especially Detective Benson. He could see the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. He frowned knowing they were all pushing themselves hard but knowing that Olivia had to rest. There was nothing they could've done last night. Nothing was panning out and Olivia was now paying the price for staying up so late now.

"We still haven't been able to find the vic's mother. She's all but disappeared." Fin sighed, "We still have no idea who the man is either."

Elliot nodded, "Meghan hasn't been able to say anything more about the man that kidnapped her. She said his car was big black four door but she couldn't remember anything else about the car. And she has no idea how long she was gone with him for."

Olivia was rubbing her eyes trying to stay awake and sighed as she got up and walked to their white murder board. "We don't even have a name for the guy. Meghan said he told her to call him Sir." She sighed. "Our best bet is the mother. Surely she would know who he is."

Cragen nodded, "Go track her down and try to find out anything you can about that guy. Maybe the other girls know him."

No one knew the guy they were looking for. In fact not one of the girls could even tell them where Meghan's mother was. She had all but disappeared from the streets.

"Likely she's lying dead somewhere with a needle in her arm." Olivia muttered to Elliot as they tried yet again to find the woman they were searching for.

Elliot sighed looking at his partner. "You're probably right. It's getting late let's head in and start fresh in the morning. You look like hell Liv. You should go home and get some rest."

"Let's go back to the precinct and review the case for a bit and then I'll go back home if we still can't find any new leads."

Elliot opened his mouth to refuse but then sighed. He knew Olivia wouldn't agree to go home if he didn't agree to this. "Okay. Let's go back to the precinct and we'll take a look over the file one more time."

"Thanks El." Olivia smiled weakly and slid into their squad car.

Olivia sighed as she slowly climbed into bed that night. Exhaustion was definitely winning. She'd barely made it through the door before she climbed into bed mostly dressed and curled around her pillow to try and sleep.

She managed to get at least seven hours in before her buzzer went off. She glanced at the digital alarm clock on her bedside table; it read 3:18 AM. Who the hell was coming to her door at three in the morning? She slid to her feet figuring it was the neighborhood kids playing a prank on the cop again. She picked up her gun from the little table by her bedside and walked slowly downstairs glancing around for any signs that it was indeed the neighborhood kids but there was nothing there. She frowned looking out the glass doors before she moved forward her gun clutched in her hand. She pushed the door open cautiously and looked around seeing nothing she turned back to her buzzer. She frowned pulling the toothpick and glanced around once more seeing nothing she went to the glass door and pushed it open when hands went around her. She jerked trying to get her arms free as her gun fell. She tried to kick back to no avail. Something hit the back of her head causing her to see stars; she shook her head trying to clear her head so she could keep fighting. The second hit blackened her vision and she went limp the large hands dragging her away.

Author's Ending Notes: All right people review or else there will be no more of this!