Harry sighed, his hands on his hips as he surveyed the room piled with boxes. It seemed a waste to spend a Saturday cleaning out a spare room, but then maybe that would feel true any day of the week. Ginny had volunteered to help, but the boxes were all pretty much his (many inherited from Sirius and the Order of the Phoenix) and Harry needed to sort through them carefully.
He went to the first box closest to the door marked "Lily Evans". He'd found this in the corner of his family's vault at Gringott's last week. Harry had already sifted through it quickly to see if anything important was in there. It was filled with odds and ends; a Gryffindor scarf, ticket stubs to the movie "Rocky" (Had she dragged James to a Muggle movie?), a few albums (The Beatles, Heart, Fleetwood Mac), some obviously often-read books, photos of Lily and James (which Harry had added to his collection), and at the bottom of the box, a Gryffindor Quidditch shirt. How the box had gotten to the Potter vault was a mystery. The items didn't seem valuable enough to be placed in possibly the most secured place in the world. Harry wondered if someone had taken the box from the cottage after his parent's deaths and put it in the vault for safekeeping.
Harry dug through the box to get to the Quidditch shirt. Had it been James' shirt from when he was team captain? As he pulled out the shirt, a small box fell that had been securely wrapped inside of it. Harry was able to catch the box in mid-air before it landed on the floor (Seeker reflexes still there, he noted with a touch of pride) and he fingered it carefully. It was beautifully made out of teak and when Harry opened the box he saw a small beaker lying on a cushion of velvet. It was filled with a pearly translucent liquid.
It reminded him of the small beakers used to store memories he'd seen at Hogwarts several years ago. Harry's eyes widened as the thought hit him: had his mum saved a special memory? His heart sped up as he held the beaker to the light considering it. Would it be a terrible invasion of her privacy to watch it?
Maybe she'd saved it for him to have someday. There was no note or indication that it was meant to be kept private on the box. Harry knew he'd have a hard time passing this opportunity up. He was always searching to know more about the parents' he'd missed most of his life.
He could borrow a pensieve from the Ministry of Magic. Without giving himself another minute to question his decision, Harry grabbed his cloak and headed out. The timing was perfect, Ginny was visiting her mum today and Harry had kept the day free to clear out the spare room. This was much more important than a cleaner room, he rationalized.
Harry returned a half hour later with the pensieve carefully tucked under his arm. He found a comfortable spot on the couch and pulled out Lily's beaker. After carefully pouring the beaker contents into the pensieve and taking a deep breath, he placed his face into the liquid.
He was in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. In front of him, he saw his mum, slowly finishing what looked like lunch. Her long auburn hair was pulled back in a loose pony-tail as she bent over a book. The hall was slowly filling up with other students whose relaxed manners seemed to indicate it was not a regular school day. Lily jumped, startled by the sound of a rucksack flung on the bench as a young, happy-looking Sirius flopped down across from her. "Where's your lesser half?" he asked, grabbing a sandwich from the middle of the table. He didn't waste any time waiting for Lily's response but took a huge bite, staring at her with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
Lily eyed him suspiciously, pushing her empty plate to the side. "Just how is James lesser? Lesser in his delusions? Less irrational?" Harry snorted at her defensive answer, noticing again how beautiful his mum was. She had an oval face, clear pale skin dusted with a smattering of freckles, a generous mouth and arresting deep green eyes.
Sirius allowed the tip of his lips to angle up before answering. "I don't even have to come up with my own quips for you anymore, do I Evans? You do it for me."
Harry's eyebrows rose. He had no idea Sirius and his mum had such a bantering, quasi-mocking relationship. Sirius had only spoken of Lily with obvious deference to Harry.
"I've learned the hard way your statements about me are usually just the tip of the iceberg," Lily glared at Sirius though her lips twisted, holding back a smile. "With most of the meaning deathly and darker just lurking underneath."
Sirius gave a short bark of laughter and then took another huge bite of his sandwich. "I'm a little put out you get me that well. It could give me a complex."
"James is meeting with McGonagall about the next Quidditch match," Lily finally answered his initial question. "Are you even chewing that sandwich or just swallowing pieces of it whole?" She frowned as she eyed the last bit go into Sirius' mouth.
"I'm hungry and in a hurry," Sirius grabbed another sandwich. "I need your help," he added before taking a large bite, proving he'd make short work of this sandwich as well.
"Why should I help you when all you do is come up with random insults about me?" Lily asked belligerently. "It seems you should treat your mates with at least a smidgen of respect when you want a favor."
Sirius laughed at that. "This is about as respectful as I get, Evans. Besides, I'm pretty sure you owe me after I covered for you and James when you were late for Transfiguration last week." He shook his head pityingly. "You two really should keep your lips to yourselves between classes."
"Point taken," Lily grumbled. "though I can't believe McGonagall believed your pathetic excuse. It was probably only because James is her pet that she let that go."
Sirius didn't bother to argue, just smirked as he continued. "I need your help with my Muggle Studies paper on that big sports event they have every few years…what is it called? The Olympus?"
"The Olympics," Lily corrected absently. "Why are you doing this on a Saturday afternoon? Won't that ruin your cavalier image as a procrastinating expert?" She raised her eyebrows and cocked her head while studying him.
"Because James informed me that you two have plans for tomorrow," he gave her a fierce glare to let her know how James and her plans interfered with his life. "And I have a date Sunday night."
"Yeah, alright." Lily grinned at him. "I'm actually quite proud of you, Sirius. Thinking ahead about homework and all. I must be rubbing off on you."
Sirius looked annoyed at this thought. "Hell, Evans, don't even start with that shite. It's enough having to watch what I say around you." He finished his second sandwich and took a long swig of milk to wash it down, grabbing a couple of cookies for dessert.
Lily actually choked on the last sip of juice she had just swallowed. "You watch what you say around me? You curse all the time, prat. What do you say when I'm not here?"
Sirius considered this. "It's not the swearing so much. There's stuff I just can't talk about in front of you." He picked up his rucksack and stood up, waiting for Lily to grab her own and follow him.
"Like?" Harry could see Lily's curiosity was piqued.
"Like guy stuff," Sirius evaded. Harry saw a shadow pass over his mum's face. So she'd asked and had been shut out of some confidences in the past.
She changed tactics. "So what do guys talk about when girls aren't around?" Lily asked as they made their way across the Great Hall. Harry trailed after them.
"Girls." Sirius smirked at her.
"I know that much," she huffed.
"Do you mean regular guys or James?" Sirius' smirk got bigger if possible. "Guys who aren't whipped talk about girls' figures. James only gushes about you."
Lily's face turned pink. Her mouth opened, but she didn't say anything although Harry could see she wanted to pursue what James said about her.
"We mention stuff like, I wouldn't kick Debbie Thompson out of bed," Sirius continued baldly. "Or Karen Wright is stacked."
"What?" Lily frowned at him, her face turning a brighter shade of red. "That's rude."
"Oh, sorry. Are you feeling left out, mate? You're stacked too." Sirius gave Lily an exaggerated leer although he was just polite enough not to actually look at her chest.
Shut-up, Sirius! Harry thought. This is my mum!
"That's not what I m—"
"Or Jenny Martin is flat. Not all positive comments, I'm afraid." Sirius was grinning at Lily without a hint of shame.
"Sirius!" Lily tried to give him a highly offended look. She bit her lip to squelch a small smile. "That's cold."
He shrugged. "That's how we talk. You asked."
"But..but," she sputtered. "Surely guys are not always that shallow. You care about other things, right?"
Sirius laughed. "You're funny sometimes, Lily Evans." He sighed dramatically. "If you must know, guys care about other stuff about girls but they don't talk about it casually with each other. Only to their best mates."
"Oh." Harry could practically see the thoughts in Lily's head spinning. Sirius was James' best mate. How much did James tell him about her?
Sirius saw her expression and gave her a knowing look. "Don't worry your pretty little head about that, Evans. I only hear good stuff about you from James. We both know the bloke is too besotted to see your many faults clearly." He sighed dramatically.
"You know with you around, I never have to worry about getting a big head." Lily shook her head at Sirius ruefully. "You're always there to bring a girl down to earth with derogatory comments."
Sirius nodded, clearly pleased. "Someone needs to balance out James' smarmy flattery." He gave her a big grin. "So, how do girls talk about blokes, Evans? Surely there's some discussion of physical attributes there?"
"Um," Lily looked down, rubbing her arm. "There is..some, I guess. But we're usually, um, less specific than guys. We might mention if he has a nice smile or a good build." Her face had a close resemblance to a tomato by now. Not for the first time, Harry was grateful he had inherited his dad's colouring.
Sirius was laughing as he watched Lily squirm. "And how does James rate on your build scale?"
"You know perfectly well he's off the charts," she gave Sirius a threatening glare. "And don't you dare tell him I said that."
Sirius gave her a mocking grin and a wink. "Good to know James isn't the only infatuated idiot."
"I look forward to when one of you other Marauders has a girlfriend," Lily told him. "Then I'll have someone to commiserate with about you four."
Sirius shook his head. "Don't hold your breath on that one, Evans. You've set a standard."
"Did my ears deceive me? Did you just compliment me, Sirius Black?" Lily asked in shock. Her lips turned up. "I'm not sure, but that was possibly flattering."
"I didn't say it was a high standard," Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "We might be just trying to protect other girls from finding out how mental you really are."
Lily frowned at him and shoved him in his side. "Just like the Titanic, I'd ploughed full-steam ahead ignoring all I knew about icebergs. You're a real prince, you know that Black?"
Sirius gave Lily a genuine grin. "Glad you noticed." Harry's grin matched Sirius'. His mum had been fun to hang around with. It was brill seeing this playful side of her. Harry hoped he'd get to see his dad with his mum in this memory.
They had reached the stairs when they met Remus coming down. Harry was a bit shocked to see that Remus' eyes looked haunted and his mouth had a desolate downward curve. Lily's eyes widened with concern. "Remus," she called. "Everything alright?"
Remus forced a smile as he came abreast of Lily. "Yeah, fine. I'm just a bit knackered today."
Lily reached out and touched his arm. "Would you like to come to the library with us? We're getting a jump on our homework." Her cheerful voice did not match the worry in her eyes.
"No, thank you." Remus said quietly. His eyes were shuttered as they met Lily's, but he kept the stilted smile plastered on his face. "I'm meeting up with Peter for lunch in a few minutes."
"See you later," Sirius cut in, seeming to want to hurry Lily up the stairs. Lily frowned at him, but dutifully said good-bye to Remus and continued up the steps with Sirius. Lily cast one last anxious look at Remus over her shoulder as he headed towards the Great Hall. As Lily and Sirius turned towards the library, Sirius stopped abruptly. "Wait—I need my Muggle Studies book. It's in my room."
"Okay," Lily changed direction with him towards Gryffindor Tower. After giving the password, Sirius stepped back to let her go through the Portrait Hole first, intent on being a proper gentleman no doubt. She stepped through and was almost run over by a blonde pretty girl. Harry was stunned when the girl stopped to glare at Lily menacingly.
"You're always in my way, slut," she snarled. Her voice was so spiteful, it felt violent.
Harry's heart jumped and he automatically reached for his wand to protect his mum. He had to remind himself he wasn't there—he was the invisible bystander, helpless to do anything but watch. Who could hate his mum? From all the people he'd met who had known her, she had been touted as one of the kindest students at Hogwarts.
Lily flinched. "I was here first, Leslie," she started. Harry could tell she feeling a bit broadsided to say the least.
"Yeah, at least you're first at something," she sneered. "You obviously weren't the first to be with James. Someday you'll just be entirely out of the picture." She stepped closer to Lily. "You're rubbish and James will figure that out sooner or later. Maybe I'll help make it happen sooner."
Shit! His dad had a crazy ex-girlfriend? What the hell, dad? Harry thought. What did you make my mum go through?
Lily looked down, unsuccessful at hiding her hurt expression. From behind, Sirius stepped forward and firmly pushed her to the side. He had climbed through the portrait hole after Lily and stood directly facing Leslie. Harry was shocked when he saw Sirius' expression. Sirius was livid, his eyes were narrowed and jaw tightly clenched. Leslie blanched when she saw his face and involuntarily took a half step backwards.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Parks?" Sirius' voice was scathing, his eyes fierce. "Are you such a pathetic worthless piece of scum that you try to persuade yourself of some feeble fantasy by trying to hurt Lily?"
"Shut-up," Leslie sounded more upset than angry. "You don't know anything, Black."
"I know a sight more than you do about James," Sirius said harshly. "You're not doing yourself any favors with him by threatening his girlfriend."
Leslie just glared and pushed past him, heading out of the portrait hole. Sirius shook his head in frustration. "What a two-faced bitch," he said, his voice still pissed off. "I've heard her try to tell James how awful you are to her."
"Really?" Lily sounded a bit choked up, as if she was trying to mask how shook up she felt from Leslie's venom. "He never told me that."
Sirius must have heard the emotion in her voice. He turned and looked at Lily sympathetically. Harry was touched to see that Sirius clearly cared a great deal about Lily.
"I knew she hated you," Sirius continued, sounding almost casual. "I didn't know she was that malicious and threatening to you." His normal sounding voice helped Lily gain a little of her composure back.
"Yeah, well," she shrugged, seemingly at a loss for what to say.
"Does James know what she says to you?" Sirius asked suspiciously. His eyes shifted back to the portrait hole Leslie had recently exited. He looked worried.
"Kind of." Lily said. "He always acts upset that I don't trust him if I talk about it too much. He doesn't believe she's vengeful, he just thinks she's still hurt about their break-up."
Sirius frowned and gave her a strange look. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and walked into the Common Room. Fortunately, it was deserted, not surprising for a Saturday during lunchtime. "I'll be back in a sec," Sirius tossed over his shoulder as he hurried toward his room. Lily went and sat on the couch, moodily staring at the fireplace. Harry followed and stood watching her. Lily had an expressive face and she frowned as if an argument was taking place in her head.
Her reverie was broken by James as he spotted Lily after coming through the Portrait Hole and bounded over with a big grin. "Waiting for me, Lil?" he asked, flopping next to her on the couch and kissing her quickly.
Harry grinned, happy to see his dad even in a long-ago memory. James looked uncannily like Harry (or maybe it was vice-versa) but his eyes were hazel instead of emerald green and he had a carefree air that Harry had never had the freedom to indulge in during his Hogwart school days while Voldemort was alive.
Lily rolled her eyes but couldn't stop her lips from returning his grin. "Do you think my world revolves around you, Potter?" She shook her head at him. He seemed to take that as an invitation to snog, pulling her onto his lap and pressing his lips hard to hers.
(Shit, Dad! She needs to breathe!)
Lily responded for a few minutes before attempting to pull away. "I'm actually waiting for—"
James didn't let her finish, threading his fingers through her hair and hauling her lips to his again. Lily weakly protested against his lips, "James—", before giving in and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to pull him closer. She seemed to have forgotten Sirius by the time they heard the sound of footsteps running down the boy's staircase and then an oath.
"Shit, James," Sirius' voice was annoyed. "Do I need to carry a fucking hose around to cool you down? Lay off her for a while. I need Lily's help on my Muggle Studies paper."
Harry was with Sirius on this one. There was only so much snogging a bloke wanted to witness by his parents, especially when they were randy teen-agers.
James seemed to be of a mind to ignore Sirius and continue his and Lily's snogfest, but she pulled away, her face flaming. "Don't listen to him," James wheedled, trying to pull her back. "He's just testy he hasn't had any action lately."
Harry shook his unseen head. As sympathetic as he was to James' wants (he well remembered those few weeks when he and Ginny were dating at Hogwarts), he'd at least had the decency to stop when Ron was around. Harry pushed aside the thought that he was more discreet partially because Ron was Ginny's brother.
Lily mimicked her invisible son and shook her head at James, pushing his face away. "Come with us to the library, James," she insisted. "I can help you with your paper at the same time."
James looked disgruntled but let Lily slide off his lap. He muttered about so-called best mates hindering his social life as they picked up their rucksacks and set off. Sirius finally shut James up by shoving him against the wall outside the library door when Lily let go of James' hand to rummage for a book. "Leave off, Prongs," Sirius growled. "I want to get this shite over with this afternoon. Your little date on Sunday means she won't be able to help me then. It's because of your sodding social life I have to work on this idiotic paper now anyway."
"Fuck off, Sirius," James pushed him back before reaching for Lily's hand again after pulling open the library door. "You're lucky she helps you at all." Lily ignored their boyish-friendship-affirming shenanigans and pulled James toward a table in the back of the library. Sirius plodded along behind them spewing a sad monologue about how pathetic it was to be forced to even consider homework on a Saturday under his breath.
Sirius pulled out a piece of parchment and started shooting questions as soon as they were settled at the table. Lily patiently answered, giving detailed explanations that Sirius only half-listened to. "What's with having both a winter and summer Olympics? Why the fuck have two in one year and then go four years until the next one?" Sirius grumbled. He had become more impatient once he was close to being done.
James answered although the question was clearly directed at his girlfriend. "They have to go where it's cold for the winter sports during the winter, arse." Lily nodded that James was correct and he grinned proudly. Harry sat across the table from James and Lily and regarded them carefully. They were so happy, their eyes turned to each other frequently and their smiles were blinding. They were just normal everyday teen-agers. Who would have guessed they would willingly give their lives to protect their son in just a few short years?
Sirius wrote a sentence on his parchment and looked back at his book. "What's with all this hoopla they go through to move the torch across the world each time? It's a ruddy flame— just use a match and light it in the new location, save a lot of fuss."
Again, James jumped to answer first. "Muggles have a thing about tradition. That flame always has to be from the same fire."
Lily nodded. "Nice job remembering what a match is used for, Sirius." This time Sirius was the one who looked pleased. Harry was more impressed with Lily's kind tutoring. She would have helped him with his homework like this, he thought.
In just a few minutes, Sirius had found something else to grouse about. "Why do the States get more spots than Britain in each swimming event anyway? Those blighters always throw their fucking size in our face."
James looked up from his own paper to object, "Like you don't use your size when you maul other gits in Quidditch."
"I'm pretty sure you like that I'm not a pansy on the field, Prongs." Sirius smirked.
"True," James conceded (Harry just knew his dad would have adored having Ginny as his daughter-in-law) at almost the same time that Lily started to explain the rules to Sirius. "It wouldn't be fair if all countries had the same number of spots in each event. Larger countries have so many more athletes. The U.S. usually gets two or three spots per event because their athletes earn it with their times."
Sirius just grunted as if that was way too much information for him to bother with. He worked feverishly for a few more minutes and then showed his paper to Lily with a flourish. Lily pushed aside her book to proofread it. She nodded in approval and handed it back to him and with a quick wave, he sped off.
James settled down to his own work once Sirius was out of the picture and when finished he shoved his paper over to Lily sporting a huge grin. "I see you found something to keep you company." He pointedly stared at the newest Charms book she was reading excitedly. Harry cringed a little when he spotted his mum's hand resting on James' thigh (don't move it any higher, please, he silently urged more than once) under the table.
"Look at this Contego charm!" Lily cried turning the book towards James. "It is one of the most powerful shield charms I've ever heard of. It can even stop some of the strongest curses."
Their heads bent over the book together. James pointed to a line that was partially covered in spilled ink. "Caution: only effective if sp-" He paused and raised an eyebrow at Lily. "That part sounds kind of important."
"Maybe," Lily conceded reluctantly. "I've been trying to clean the ink off but haven't been able to." She raised her wand and gently rotated it over the page again. Nothing. "I'll get it eventually," she muttered. She grinned at him. "I'm so excited to try this. Can you imagine being able to shield someone like that?"
James frowned at her, his eyes serious. "Lily, you shouldn't do this until you know what the warning says. The book says it is a very advanced Charm."
Harry could see Lily wasn't about to give this up. She looked carefully at James' over-protective-boyfriend expression. "I'm just going to practice!" she protested, soothingly. "I won't use it until I know." Harry watched his dad as he stared at Lily and weighed his options. The slight tension in James' face indicated Harry's parents had had discussions like this before. This time, Harry firmly sided with his dad. His mum shouldn't try to produce spells she didn't have all the caveats on. Harry had seen enough spells that went sideways to know they could get dangerous, especially advanced spells.
James looked skeptical but he sighed and didn't argue further. "Why don't you let me work on the book for a while," he suggested. "I'll see if I can get the ink off that line."
"Hmmm," Lily agreed as she quickly scanned his Muggle studies paper. "James, electrical outlets are what muggles use to plug in stuff that needs electricity to work. Like tellys or lamps. They're not for telephones. Those use phone jacks."
James ran his hand through his hair, frowning. "How do you tell the difference? They're both stuck in the wall with holes, right?"
"Yes." She rolled her eyes at his annoyance. Harry guessed that like many wizards, James assumed the muggle-world was simplistic. "They have different sized holes. The plug matches the opening."
James seized the paper back, muttering as he started scratching out lines. Lily took this opportunity to peruse her book again. Harry could tell she was memorizing the shield charm, noting the hold and angle needed on the wand and moving her hand in tandem.
Her practice was interrupted by James when he started to laugh. Lily looked at him, puzzled as he pointed to his textbook. "What's this about electrical connectors and fasteners being called male and female? What the fuck does that mean?"
Lily put her head down as she ran her fingers along the page of James' book. Her cheeks turned pink as she spoke. "In electrical trades, the female is the part that receives and holds the connector that is male." She managed to raise her eyes to meet James'. Harry couldn't help but loudly laugh when he saw his dad's mouth dropped partially open and his eyes became glassy. Fortunately, Harry was silent in this memory and his parents were unaware of their amused audience. Lily's face was burning up, she was blushing so fiercely. "Generally, the male has one or more protrusions and it fits into the female, which houses it. So, the electrical outlet is female and the plug would be male."
James could not have looked more delighted. His open mouth curved into a wide grin. "You are fucking kidding me," he stated emphatically. "That is the best, most awesome, muggle jargon ever! They used sex to name their electrical shit. That's brilliant!" He put his arm around Lily in a quick squeeze, beaming at her as if she was the muggle responsible for this.
Lily also couldn't resist laughing at James' enthusiasm. He positively leered at her. "You know, this gives me some ideas. About different ways to generate electricity, friction, heat…"
"Are you telling me you didn't have these ideas before?" Lily shook her head at him with mock disapproval. "I'm disappointed, James. I thought better of you."
James leaned over and whispered something Harry could not hear in his mother's ear. Judging by her reaction, it seemed designed to escalate the heat to her already flushed face and it was far better for Harry to remain ignorant. James leaned back with raised eyebrows, grinning at Lily's expression. "Um," she started sputtering. "I'm pretty sure you're not that flexible."
"We'll just have to try it and see, won't we?" He winked at her with a wicked smirk. Despite James' lasciviousness with his mum (not that Harry blamed James for it, but it wasn't that comfortable to watch), Harry liked the seventeen-year-old James much more than he'd liked the fifteen-year-old James he'd witnessed bullying Snape years ago.
"Later," Lily looked at her watch to check the time. "I'm meeting Marlene and Linda for a girls-bonding dinner. Are we still getting together tonight?"
"Yeah," James paused. A look of regret crossed his face but he smiled when Lily looked at him questioningly. "Common Room at seven?"
Lily nodded and started gathering her books. James grabbed the Charms textbook from her as she tried to add it to her rucksack. "I want to try and clean off that ink spot," he reminded her when she frowned at him.
"Fine," Lily kissed him lightly. "See you later."
"Skip next bit," Harry heard his mother's voice so clear in his ear that he turned around to look for her, startled. Lily's memory faded and when it returned, Harry was following her as she ran all the way up from Dumbledore's office towards the Common Room. Harry saw when she checked her watch that it was well after eight. Her slim shoulders looked tense and almost desperate; her breathing was harsh and ragged as she sprinted down the halls.
James was still in the Common room sprawled on the couch, his knees bouncing tensely. He jumped up when Lily came tearing in. "Where have you—" he started, his voice sounding both worried and royally pissed off. He stopped when he saw Lily's face, which Harry finally could see now that he had caught up to Lily. She was even paler than usual and her cheeks were streaked with tears. James strode over to Lily, grabbing her arms and dropping his face close to hers. "What happened, Lil?" James asked, his voice soft with concern.
Lily struggled to choke down the lump in her throat so she could speak. "Linda…" she started and then stopped. She had to backtrack a bit and started over. "We had just finished dinner when McGonagall came to find Linda. She said… Dumbledore wanted to speak with her."
James' eyes widened. Harry and his parents all knew only serious news would cause McGonagall to personally escort a student to Dumbledore's office.
"Linda knew it couldn't be good news. She wanted us to come with her." Lily stopped again. "When we got there, Dumbledore told us that Linda's parents were on their way to get her." She stared at James, her lips trembling. "Her sister had been in an accident. She's dead."
Her voice gave out and she stopped unable to continue. James pulled her into his arms and held her as the tears came again. James murmured soothing words as he stroked Lily's hair, his other arm tight around her back. She cried for several minutes before finally sniffling away to silent trembling.
James kissed her temple and led her to the couch in front of the fire. He sat back and Lily curled up against his chest, his arms securely around her. Lily snuggled in, closing her eyes and letting her face go blank. For a few minutes, she looked a little more tranquil. "How is Linda?" James asked.
"In shock," Lily sniffed. She seemed to now be able to talk a little easier. "We waited with her until her parents arrived. Dumbledore had asked McGonagall not to bring her to his office until they were almost here. She's already left with them."
"How did it happen?" James asked. "Was her sister sick?"
"No, it was a car accident. Totally unexpected." Lily's breath hitched and she tightened her arm around James' waist. "Linda is...was really close to her."
"I'm so sorry, Lil." James said softly.
"It's made me think," she spoke hesitantly. "As little as Petunia and I understand –or even like each other right now, I should try harder. She's my sister and you never know how much time you'll get to have together."
James kissed her hair and then cupped her face to look down at Lily. "I cherish every day I have with you," he said huskily, his eyes blazing. "I love you so much, Lily."
"I treasure you too." Lily reached up to kiss him tenderly. Harry noticed she had not responded in kind to James' other sentiment. A look of disappointment quickly crossed James' face, unseen by Lily as she pressed her head into his chest. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and lifted her face to kiss her with so much emotion that tears formed in her eyes again.
James and Lily talked quietly about Linda for several minutes before the sound of a couple of loud blokes bursting in through the Portrait Hole caused James to jerk his head up and Lily to flinch. "James!" Sirius called as he and Peter came to the couch. They had their cloaks on and Sirius was holding the Marauder's Map. Harry's fists clenched when he saw Peter looking deceptively normal. Even knowing it was useless, he comforted himself by repeatedly swinging his fists through Peter's body, throwing out a few choice curses for embellishment.
"We've been waiting for you, Prongs. We're late." Sirius noticed Lily's face and stopped. "Are you okay, Lily?" he asked carefully.
Harry stopped his particularly satisfying right jabs to Peter's kidney to turn his attention back to the conversation.
Lily shook her head. "I'll explain later," James told him after eyeing his girlfriend. "I'll be down in a few minutes." Sirius glared at James and James gave him a hard look in return. With a bit-off oath Sirius turned away impatiently and started back towards the Portrait Hole followed by Peter, who looked a bit confused at the wordless conversation that had obviously flown over his head.
He wasn't the only one missing something. Lily's head snapped back to James as Sirius and Peter quickly stepped out of the Common Room. "You're leaving? Wait, why? I need to be with you."
"I'm sorry, Lily." James looked upset. "This is something we planned a long time ago. I can't back out now."
"Why not?" Hurt made her words thick.
"Because they are counting on me," James sounded pleading. "Trust me, Lil, I would rather stay with you."
"You can't even tell me why?" Lily's voice sounded pitiful.
"I can't," James' voice was miserable. "It's not my secret to tell. Please, Lily—please believe me."
Lily swallowed hard looking bereft. Her eyes closed and arms crossed protectively across her chest. "Lil?" James' hand was brushing her hair off her face. Harry felt as awful as both of his parents. He understood, as clearly Lily did not, why James had to leave.
She looked at James, her eyes questioning him although she kept her lips pressed mutinously together. His eyes were entreating and a muscle in his clenched jaw moved. He scanned her face carefully then bent down to kiss her softly and sweetly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
She nodded as if she didn't really have much of a choice. James still looked torn. "I love you, Lily," he told her again, dropping another hard kiss on her lips. "I have to go. Will you be okay?"
Lily tried to smooth out her expression, but was unable to hide how forlorn she felt. "Go. Have fun."
James frowned. "It's not for fun that I'm going, Lily. It's…" he struggled for words. "It's not something I can explain. I don't want to go. I want to be with you." He carefully untangled his body from hers and stood up. "I'll see you in the morning?" he asked, his voice imploring.
"Alright," Lily managed to say. Her throat sounded raw. James kissed her again and then hurried out. Harry heard him open the Portrait Hole and Harry turned back toward his mother as she buried her face in her arms before breaking down into tears again. Eventually, she dragged herself up to her room, Harry sadly following, and crumpled into bed.
"Skip to morning," Harry heard his mum's voice and her dorm room faded from his view. Harry next found himself following her towards Gryffindor Tower back from the Great Hall. She must have been up very early as the sky was barely light outside and she was already returning from breakfast.
When Lily entered the Common Room stalked by her future son, only one witch was sitting on the far side of the room facing the fireplace. Unfortunately, the staircase to the girls' dorms was not empty, and the witch who reached the bottom of the stairs just as Lily did was clearly not who she wanted to meet.
Leslie was glaring at Lily before Lily had raised her eyes to see who was blocking her planned escape route back to her bed.
"Looking for your long-lost boyfriend?" she asked Lily. Harry's mouth tightened and he felt the hairs on his neck rise up. Where was his dad?
Lily frowned at her before finally answering shortly. "Shut-up and go away."
"He couldn't get away from you fast enough last night," Parks sneered at Lily.
"Were you eavesdropping on us?" Lily's eyes narrowed as she glared at Leslie.
"He almost ran me over leaving here," she gave Lily a tight smile. "He ditched you last night and he will for good soon."
"Wow," Lily spat out bitterly. "You're pathetic. You saw me upset after James left so you jumped straight into your little fantasy world of false conclusions."
"Is it false?" Parks tried to sound mocking, but Harry could feel the doubt underneath her taunts. "Or did he leave you to hang out with his mates because he doesn't care that much about you?"
"That's not true," Lily cried. "You're crazy. James loves me."
Leslie's face tightened in shock and her eyes narrowed in a fierce glare. Harry reached forward, his arms futilely trying to grab his mother and push her behind him. This witch was really worrying Harry. She had a look in her eyes that was frightening him and he felt helpless as he watched the scene play out. What if this wasn't a good memory? What if his mum saved it because something awful happened and she needed to keep it?
Harry heard sounds from the portrait hole behind them but he was unable to tear his eyes away from the tense scene in front of him. Suddenly Leslie's wand was pointing towards Lily. Harry was impressed how quick Lily's reaction was as her wand instantly came out ready at a defensive position in her hand. Harry felt a strange physical sensation that turned to relief as he saw that James had hurried right through his virtual body to get to Lily. James grabbed Lily's left arm and hauled her behind him. Behind them, Harry heard Sirius make a sound and Remus' quiet warning, "James."
James' jaw was clenched so tight he looked ready to explode. "Leslie," his voice had a clear threat. "Don't even think about it."
Leslie's wild gaze turned on him. "You don't love her," her voice was dripping with scorn. "You couldn't love her." Her harsh breathing was audible.
James was still holding Lily's left arm but Harry noticed Lily had shifted enough so that she could watch Parks. Leslie's hand holding her wand was twitching and she kept moving from foot to foot. Her eyes were on James' face with a vengeful ferocity.
"Yes, I love Lily," James spoke in a way that left no doubt to his sincerity. "I'm in this relationship for the long haul. You need to face reality, Leslie."
Harry was stunned at how casual his dad was behaving. He stood, wandless and defenseless in front of what appeared to be a crazed-witch. He didn't seem worried that her anger might cause her to do something stupid. Lily continued to clench her wand tighter, her knuckles white, holding it in position.
Leslie's eyes narrowed and her face flushed. "You're a heartless prick, Potter," she hissed. Before he recognized her target had changed, she spat out a spell harshly, her wand pointed straight at James' chest. There was a flash of red light that erupted towards James.
Almost instantaneously, Lily twisted and flicked her wand at James shouting "Contego" as she shot out the protection shield. A white bubble flew out of her wand and immediately enveloped him. The slashing fire of red from Leslie's wand hit the bubble and flew back towards Leslie who crumpled to the floor and ducked as it flew over her head, her wand bouncing harmlessly away.
There was a moment of silence. James turned to gawk at Lily. His face was stunned but his eyes were lit up with emotion. Lily was shaking with pent-up adrenalin. She looked astounded that she had protected James.
"Fuck, James," Sirius' voice rang out from behind them. "She was trying to put the burning spell on you. You could have been maimed." Sirius walked around to Lily's right side and stared at Lily. "How did you do that, Evans?" he asked a note of awe in his voice. "I've never seen a fucking shield charm like that before."
"I don't know." Lily's hands started to tremble and she looked at them helplessly as if they didn't belong to her. James continued to stare down at Lily, a bright light gleaming in his eyes. Remus walked around to Leslie, who had sat up, a hurt and now fearful look in her eyes as she stared at James. She flung off Remus' proffered hand and scrambling up, ran up the stairs to the sixth-year girls' room.
Remus frowned as he looked back at James. "Shouldn't we do something about her? That was an unspeakable curse. She needs therapy or something." No one answered and he turned and scanned the room.
Lily looked at James but he acted as if he hadn't heard Remus. He was still staring at Lily with wonder in his eyes. "I can't believe you could do that," he said slowly. He pulled Lily into his arms and held her tightly, burying his face in her neck. Still holding her wand, Lily wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her body quaking. "Oh, James," her voice was raspy. "What if she had hurt you? That was way too close."
"I guess I don't have to worry if you're there," his mouth was slightly muffled against Lily's hair as he moved his head towards her lips. He kissed her, quick and hard and then pulled back to look in her face with searing eyes and shook his head. "I'm in awe, Lil. You're brilliant." Tears filled Lily's eyes as she reached up her hand to cup his face. He put his hand on hers and dropped his forehead against Lily's. He seemed to be waiting for her to say something else, but Lily was still shaking and was silent.
Remus abruptly walked away from his three friends and as yet un-met future student towards the couches by the fireplace. Sirius continued to scrutinize Lily, clearly impressed. "You've been holding back on us, Evans." Sirius grinned. "We could make use of your talents."
"Shut up, Padfoot." James didn't even spare a glance at Sirius, keeping his eyes on Lily. "She can't protect you."
What did that mean, Harry wondered. Lily's thoughts must have echoed his as she asked, "I can't?" sounding surprised. James didn't answer, just gave her another dazzling smile.
"James," Lily started, but she was interrupted by Remus as he returned.
"I talked to Julie," he said, a flick of his head indicating the girl across the room who now stood next to the couch. She must not have witnessed Leslie attack James but she looked white as a sheet as she gathered up her things. "She's going to give Leslie a calming draught and watch over her today."
"Good thinking, Moony." Sirius nodded. "We can figure out how to handle Parks later." Julie swept past Sirius, keeping her eyes downcast as she hurried past to race up the stairs.
The adrenalin in Lily's system must have decided it had done enough because suddenly her legs started to buckle. James bent down to scoop her up, cradling her against his chest. "Are you okay?" he asked, a strange note in his voice.
"Just feeling a little lightheaded," Lily managed to croak. James carried her over to the couch and sat down, holding her on his lap. Remus and Sirius followed, sitting across from them. The rest of the Common Room was empty, the fellow Gryffindors probably either asleep or at breakfast. Harry followed along and stood by the fire watching his parents. His heartbeat had finally slowed down but he found he could not look away from his mum and dad as if they were still in danger.
James was still wearing a blinding smile, though his eyes were clouded with anxiety as he cuddled Lily close on his lap. Sirius grinned at her as he stretched against the couch he and Remus were sharing. "Where did you learn that shield charm, Evans?" he asked. "I don't think I sleep enough in Charms to have missed that."
"From a book," Lily warbled. "I wasn't even sure if it would work." She looked at James in wide-eyed fear. Her body was shaking so hard, she had to clench her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering.
James understood and stroked Lily's back comfortingly. "But it did work, Lily." He kissed her forehead and tucked her head into his shoulder. "I'm okay." He still had an expectant air about him but he looked both shaken and at the same time almost giddy with happiness.
"You suspected she might turn on James, didn't you?" Remus asked Lily. His face shone with an admiring respect. "You showed some excellent defense. You kept your wand out and your eyes glued on her the whole time."
She nodded. "Something didn't seem right with her. She looked…unstable. I didn't know if she'd take her hatred of me out on James but I wanted to be ready."
James shook his head. "It sure as hell shocked me. I thought you were exaggerating when you told me she was acting crazy, Lily. I never expected she would be so far gone that she would attack you." He gave her a hard hug, his eyes frightened. "I'm sorry. You could have been hurt."
"I was ready for her," Lily reminded him. "I would have been able to defend myself. You jumped in front of me, you imbecile. Without a wand." Harry nodded, shaking his head at his dad's idiocy. He got that his dad was protecting his mum, but they both knew how defenseless James had really been.
"I didn't think she would go after me. My mistake." He gave a casual shrug.
"James," Lily cried as sweat beaded her forehead. "Is that all you can say? Didn't her attack scare the hell out of you? Why aren't you more freaked out about this?"
He grinned at her as he squeezed her in another hug. "I don't know. Someone else has made me really happy. I'm thinking about that instead."
"Well I'm glad one of us kept their wits about them," Sirius noted. "I'm just surprised it was Lily. Good to know you're not just a pretty face." He winked at Lily.
Lily managed to give him a slight grimace at the backhanded compliment as her head dropped again into the crook of James' neck. James' arms tightened around her and she shivered as her shaking finally began to slow down enough to let her take deep breaths again.
The three Marauders quietly talked amongst themselves tactfully giving Lily time to recover from the shock. After several long minutes, Harry could tell she was breathing normally and her tremors had slowed down. James brushed her hair from her face and lifted his eyebrow in question, and Lily nodded that she was alright.
James kissed Lily quickly and they stood up, Sirius and Remus following suit. James still watched Lily expectantly and he spoke without preamble. "Lily, I'm sorry I had to leave last night." James was staring at her with an almost pitifully remorseful expression. "I promise I never would have left if it wasn't for a really important reason."
Lily looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "I know. I trust you." Her voice shook a little but Harry could tell she meant it. Harry saw Remus shift his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot.
James gave her another kiss, longer this time. Before Harry could roll his eyes (his friends were right there), James pulled away and gave Lily an apologetic smile. He wrapped an arm around her and hauled her up next to his side, turning them both towards Sirius and Remus.
Harry expected James to talk, move or do something. They just stood there and Lily gave him a questioning look. James was staring at Remus with a peculiar expression. After a tense minute, Remus gave a short curt nod to what must have been a question in James' face. James' gaze flickered to Sirius who frowned, raised his eyebrows and then gave a quick shrug.
"We have something to tell you," James looked relieved now that the wordless conversation had passed between the Marauders. "Come up to our dorm room?"
"What?" Lily squeaked. "Now?"
"Yes, now. I really don't want you in the same area as Leslie now anyway." James started steering her towards the Boy's staircase. "This conversation needs to be private."
"Where's Peter?" Lily asked, as Remus and Sirius followed behind them with Harry bringing up the rear. Harry guessed only Lily's shock had prevented her from noticing his absence before.
"He had a little accident this morning," James shrugged. At Lily's concerned look, he shook his head. "Nothing to worry about, but his p-, I mean foot got hurt. Pomfrey's looking at it now."
Harry was immensely relieved Peter was hurt. The last thing he wanted was for that cowardly traitor to be a large part of one of his mum's important memories.
There was a solemnity about the group that Harry felt as they steadily climbed the stairs. Lily kept looking at James with a half-frightened, half-curious look on her face. When they reached their dorm room, James opened the door with a flourish for Lily and they all traipsed in.
Their room was all different degrees of messy. The bed that Harry guessed belonged to Remus was the neatest, with the bed made and books neatly stacked on the bedside table. What he presumed to belong to Sirius was unmade, strewn with books, quills, candy wrappers and dirty clothes. The other two were somewhere in between. James took Lily straight to one of the middle of the road beds and pulled her down to sit next to him. Remus and Sirius stood several feet across the room facing them with Harry invisibly between his parents and the other Marauders. Remus looked nervous, Sirius cagey.
James turned to Lily and opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out and he frowned, jumping up and pacing a few steps. "Werewolves aren't necessarily bad," he started finally. "They can't help their urge to bite people. It's like…they have a disease and when the moon is full and they become a werewolf, they have to….look for prey to bite. It's not their fault."
Lily stared at him uncomprehendingly. "I know that," she said hesitantly. Her eyes flicked to Sirius who was rolling his eyes at James' words but staring at Lily with a watchful expression. The room was thick with tension and she frowned in confusion. Her eyes moved to Remus who was looking down. Suddenly his eyes snapped up to meet Lily's. "I'm a werewolf," he said bluntly.
There was silence. Lily sat, frozen to the bed, her mind almost visibly whirling with this revelation. Her eyes went to each of the Marauders in turn, all watching her. James looked worried, Sirius wary and Remus looked…Lily's eyes filled and she looked pained when she saw Remus. His face was guarded, braced for rejection. Lily jumped up from James' bed and raced across the room to Remus. She flung her arms around him and buried her face in his chest, tears pouring unheeded down her face. "Remus, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Lily moaned over and over again. "So that's why you're sick and look so sad and tired a few days each month."
Remus put his arms around her gingerly. His body slowly relaxed and he patted her back gently for a few minutes. "It's okay, Lily," he finally said quietly.
"No, it's not okay!" She tightened her arms around him. "Oh Remus, when I think of your life! Your forced isolation from people, the superstitions and fear you have to face. You don't need to comfort me, Remus. You're the one who has to live with this!" Harry was impressed with his mum's quick perception of the loneliness Remus would always have to bear. It had taken many years and a very special witch before Remus allowed himself to be in a serious relationship.
"I know," he sighed. "I've lived with it for several years now. I'm used to it."
"How can you ever get used to that?" Lily asked her voice cracking.
He shrugged. "You'd be surprised what you can live with when you don't have a choice."
"How did it happen?" Lily's voice was choked and raw.
"I was bit when I was young," he said dryly. "I barely remember what it was like to be normal, to not have to change into a werewolf each month."
"This really sucks," Lily said mournfully. "You're the nicest guy in the world, Remus. Why did this have to happen to you?"
"I have a lot of good things in my life too." He looked over Lily's shoulder at James and Sirius with a little grin. "Like my friends who have stood by me for years. They're not much to look at, but deep down inside they're pretty good mates."
Harry was surprised to see Lily pull back and stare at Remus with a narrowed, suspicious glance. "Did you think I would think less of you when I found out?" she asked shrewdly.
Remus grimaced. "Er, not exactly." His guilty look was telling.
Lily smacked his arm. "Idiot." She was frowning.
"I've learned not to expect people to be accepting," Remus said in his defense. "Especially when I care about them."
Lily sniffed, but managed to give him a tremulous smile. "You're an amazing bloke, Remus Lupin."
Remus smiled back, relief evident in his face. "That means a lot coming from you." He gently touched Lily's hair in a slightly awkward movement. Lily tightened her arms to hug him again.
After a long minute, Remus gently pulled away. "I'd better let you go back to James. He gets antsy when you're in the arms of any other guy-even a trustworthy bloke like me." He propelled Lily a few steps back. James rolled his eyes, but didn't refute Remus' words, just pulled Lily close to him.
James kissed her forehead and continued. "That's why I couldn't stay with you last night. It was a full moon and we needed to be with Remus."
"But…" Fear must have made it hard for her to speak. She swallowed and tried again. "But why doesn't he attack you? I thought he couldn't control that."
"You're right, he can't stop himself from biting people." James nodded at Lily as if she had said something intelligent. "We don't go with him as people."
"What do you go with him as?" Her voice sounded aggrieved. Harry could see her mind trying to logically follow what James was insinuating. He could tell when she knew. Her eyes widened and she stared at James and Sirius. "You go as animals? You can….you're animagi?"
James nodded and Sirius gave Lily a proud grin. "You're a smart witch, Lily Evans."
Lily blinked. "But that's..that's really skilled magic," she said slowly.
"It took us several years of practice to be able to successfully morph," Sirius said, a slightly arrogant note in his voice. "James and I could do it by the end of fourth year. Peter took a bit more work. We had more incentive than most. We wanted to help out our mate." He gave a quick nod toward Remus.
Lily frowned as she visibly struggled to process all of this. She gasped as another thought must have clicked in her head. "I've seen the list of registered animagi. You're not registered, are you?"
James shook his head. "We don't want anyone else to know about Remus," he explained. "Half the Hogwarts parents would complain and the other half would pull their kids out of the school if they knew there was a werewolf here."
"You could be sent to Azkaban if you're caught," Lily's breath hitched as she looked up at James, tears filling her eyes again.
James tightened his arms around her. "That's another reason not to tell anyone. The less people who know, the less likely we'll get caught."
Lily swallowed, obviously understanding how much faith they were putting in her. "Who knows?"
Sirius answered. "Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn and Pomfrey all know Remus is a werewolf," he said. "Dumbledore is the one who came up with the idea for Remus to be in the Shrieking Shack during his episodes."
"The Shrieking Shack?" she asked quickly. "You mean the haunted house in Hogsmeade?"
Remus nodded. "They built a tunnel to the Shrieking Shack from Hogswarts so we can get to it in private. The Whomping Willow was placed at the entrance so no one else can get in. Dumbledore started the rumors that it was haunted so villagers would stay away. It helps that I make a great deal of noise when I'm a werewolf." He managed to grin wryly at that.
"Slughorn makes him a potion that tones his urges down each month and Madam Pomfrey takes him to the shack when he's dangerous." James talked in a matter of fact tone that seemed to help steady Lily.
"James and Sirius keep me from hurting myself up too much." Remus added. "They make it more bearable by being with me." The three of them shared a look. Harry knew—and by the look on Lily's face she did also- how deep the bond between the Marauders ran.
James stroked his hands through Lily's hair. "It's a lot to take in," he told her sympathetically.
"Wait a minute," she paused, recollecting Sirius' words. "You said Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn and Pomfrey know Remus is a werewolf." She frowned at James, then Sirius. "Who knows you two and Peter are animagi?"
The three of them shared guilty looks. "You can't get much past her," Sirius commented with reluctant approval.
"Well," James said slowly. "Besides us four, now there's you."
"What?" Lily squeaked. "Even Dumbledore doesn't know about this?"
Sirius looked somber. "No. Not even Dumbledore knows."
Lily rubbed her eyes. She looked back at James who gave her a reassuring smile. Harry noticed that the Marauders hadn't told Lily they let Remus run outside as a werewolf with James and Sirius to check him. He knew without a doubt that she would not be so tolerant if she knew about that part of their nights.
"I almost expect you to laugh and tell me it isn't true. It is so difficult to become an animagus. I had no idea you are this powerful with magic." She looked from James to Sirius. "So what kind of animals are you?"
James and Sirius exchanged another look. "I'm a stag," James told Lily. "Sirius is a dog and Peter is a rat." How the hell did the other three Marauders miss the significance of that, Harry fumed. Since wizards could not choose the animal they became, it seemed rather telling that Peter transformed into a rat.
Sirius continued. "Peter's animagus can sneak in without the tree noticing him and poke a certain knot in the tree. That temporarily paralyses it so we can get in. James and I are big and strong enough to hold Remus at bay when he tries to tear himself apart because he has no prey to chase."
"That's why you came up with those nicknames. Prongs for your antlers?" Lily turned to Sirius. "Padfoot because you're a dog?"
Sirius grinned. "Wormtail fits Peter perfectly. And Moony because…well you can figure that out as well."
"That was Sirius attempting to be funny," Remus' mouth twisted. "You can imagine how much I hate the full moon."
Sirius laughed. "You have to be creative to find the humor in some situations. It's just one of my many gifts."
Lily ignored Sirius' boasts. "Don't you run the risk of getting hurt?" she asked, her head swiveling between James and Sirius.
"That's why both of us need to be there," Sirius nodded. "Together we can overpower him if we need to and protect each other. Peter can't help with that bit, he stays out of Remus' way once he's paralyzed the willow."
Of course Peter skunks out of the way of any real danger, Harry seethed. Harry kept realizing just how different this memory meant in retrospect to him than it had to Lily.
Lily shook her head. "I can't believe this. This is crazy. For the first time, I wish you Marauders were pulling a prank on me. I could deal with a prank. It would make more sense than this."
Sirius cocked his head at James. "Shall we give her a demonstration?" he asked lips quirked.
James looked at her carefully. "Lily?" his voice was full of concern. "Would you like to see?"
Lily's eyes widened in fear, but she nodded. "Okay," her voice was small. Harry's grin threated to split his face. He could hardly wait to see his dad transform into a stag.
James walked a few steps away from Lily. He turned back towards her and before Harry's eyes he became an enormous, beautiful stag. The fur on his head looked as if someone had mussed it. Lily flinched a little, but then stared into his large hazel eyes. They were a different size and shape, but they had an expression that made her smile in recognition. The stag walked closer and gently put his head on her shoulder, nuzzling her neck. Lily laughed and looked at Remus. "Definitely James." Remus snorted and nodded.
Sirius' laugh turned into a short bark. Harry recognized the huge, dark dog that padded over to Lily and gently sniffed her arm. She petted his head and smiled, bending her head to search for Sirius in the dog's friendly eyes. "You look nicer than Sirius," she told him as her hand rested gently on his head and the dog's tongue lolled out of his mouth in a laughing manner.
Remus grinned at the dog. "There are many times we'd prefer he stayed a canine." The dog turned his head towards Remus and bared his teeth in a short growl before closing his eyes contentedly as Lily petted him again.
The stag leaned over and used his antlers to push the dog quickly away. The dog gave a short, protesting bark and then sat back on his heels, panting. Harry imperceptibly laughed along with Remus and Lily grabbed the stag's head and ran her fingers over the messy fur on the crown of his head. "I draw the line at snogging a stag, James Potter," she told him when he put his face towards hers (thank Merlin! Harry thought gratefully). The next second James was in her arms, snickering as he bent down to kiss her.
"Even jealous of her touching a dog," Harry heard Sirius grumble once he morphed back to his human form. Lily pulled James with her a short step to get next to him.
"Only when the dog is a git like you," James muttered. "You were just about to lick her, you smarmy bastard."
"You are so fucking whipped, Potter." Sirius snarled mockingly but he sported a good-natured grin on his face.
To Harry's surprise, James only shrugged. "Normally, I'd pound you into the floor for that, but I can't when it's true." Lily blushed and ducked her head down.
Sirius snorted. "At least you admit it."
"You are both amazing friends." Lily wrapped one arm around Sirius, leaving the other around James, dragging them into a three-way hug. Sirius' arm snaked around her back but recoiled when he touched James' arm. He pulled away grimacing.
"I'm really not into hugging other blokes, Evans." Sirius shook his head at her pityingly.
James laughed as he pulled Lily closer to him. "Just me for you then, Lil," he said happily.
Lily clung to him for a few minutes. She was trembling lightly and James rubbed her back. "Are you okay?" he asked after a few minutes. "The last couple of days have been rough for you."
"No," Lily answered honestly. "But I will be. I hope. Maybe. Someday." Her voice came out in a squeak by the last word.
Sirius laughed. "You said it yourself, James. Lily is a tough bird underneath all those girlish blushes."
James grinned and patted Lily's back proudly.
"I'm exhausted," Remus yawned. His eyes looked hollowed and dark and his eyelids drooped. "I hope you'll excuse me, Lily, but it was a grueling night. I need to sleep now." Lily walked over to hug him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for trusting me with this, Remus." she said softly. Her eyes looked up at him with quiet understanding.
Remus' mouth worked as he struggled to say something. Finally, he spoke to James while keeping his eyes on Lily. "If you screw this relationship up, James, I will personally take you out."
James looked annoyed as he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not going to fuck this up," he stated emphatically.
"Good," Sirius put in. "Cuz I'm with Remus on this one."
"Shit," James groaned. "The last thing I need is you two arseholes watching over everything I do with Lily." Lily giggled at James' aggrieved tone. She looked touched by Remus and Sirius' show of loyalty, her eyes wet as she looked between the three of them. They all gave her understanding grins helping the moment stay reasonably light. Harry now realized why this memory was so precious to his mum. This was the day the Marauders (minus Peter who he chose not to count anyway) truly brought Lily into their fold as one of their own.
"Speaking of which," Sirius said, already shucking off his shoes as he headed to his bed. "Put the cone of silence over your bed, you two. I need my beauty sleep too. These good looks take lots of work to maintain, you know."
"Oh, I'm not staying." Lily started backing towards the door. "James needs to sleep and I can just hang out in the Common Room or something."
"Stay, Lil," James wheedled. "I'm worried about Leslie hurting you. I won't be able to sleep if I don't know you're safe here with me."
Harry saw Lily hesitate as if she recognized he had a point. James came over and took her hand, leading her toward his bed. "I'll pull the curtains and make it private," he whispered to her. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I just want to hold you in my arms when I sleep. Please, Lil."
Lily's shoulders drooped with fatigue. "Okay," she mumbled. "As long as you promise to behave."
Why was Lily's saved memory continuing? Harry wondered as he watched James beam and open his dresser drawer. There must be something else important still going to happen or Lily would have ended her memory here. James pulled out a couple of t-shirts and pajama bottoms. He pushed Lily to sit on his bed and pulled the curtains shut, making a cozy cocoon for them with their future son awkwardly standing inside the curtains at the bottom of the bed. James whipped out his wand and transfigured one of the blue t-shirts and pajama bottoms into a v-neck green girls' t-shirt and smaller plaid pajama bottoms. With a flourish, he handed them to Lily and then muttered, "Wait, you need a robe with these gits around." He found a sock on the bottom of his bed and changed that into a fluffy white robe. "I'll change here so you can use the loo," he said, brushing Lily's hair back from her face.
Lily kissed James and shuffled off to the loo to change, Harry reluctantly following. Not that he had a choice. Harry would have preferred to stay with James for this bit, but he could not stay in a room that Lily was not in. He could hear Sirius already snoring deeply and Remus' heavy relaxed breathing, fast asleep.
Once Lily reached the loo, Harry carefully turned his back and closed his eyes while his mum quickly changed into her new sleeping gear. When he heard her laugh, he turned and opened his eyes. Harry's mouth dropped open, shocked. He had underestimated his dad again. The pajama bottoms fit Lily perfectly, following the curves of her hips. The t-shirt was rather tight and very low-cut. Lily was grinning and shaking her head in the mirror, obviously not as surprised as Harry at the way James had transfigured her pajamas. Fortunately, Lily quickly put on her robe, saving Harry the necessity of blinding his eyes like a wizard version of Oedipus Rex. After loosely braiding her hair and brushing her teeth (Hm, she'd been here before, Harry noted), she went back to James' bed.
James had changed and was lying half-propped up against his headboard, his eyes at half-mast. He hastily opened them when he heard Lily and gave her a tired smile. The tired look was wiped from his face and the smile change to an open-mouthed gape when Lily pulled her robe off, laying it across the bottom of James' bed. (Shit, dad! Harry's mind screamed. What are you doing to me? It's cold in here and she's my mum!)
"Nice transfiguring work, Potter." Lily said huskily as she climbed on James' bed and started to crawl slowly towards him. (Please no, please no, please no played like a mantra in Harry's mind. At least Lily's back was now to Harry so he couldn't see the front of her in that shirt.)
It was obvious James could. He swallowed thickly. "Fuck, Lily." He sounded as if someone was strangling him. "You look… you look so amazing. I know I promised, but are you sure we can't…." His hand involuntarily clenched the sheets tightly, his knuckles white.
Lily sat back on her heels right next to him, her thigh pressed up to his. She was now in profile to Harry and he mentally squirmed. "Am I sure we can't… what, James?" She asked innocently, her eyes wide. She pulled the hair tie holding her plait out of her hair and combed her hands through it, shaking it free. James' mouth gaped open again as his eyes traversed slowly from her hair down her body and then back up. Lily tried –and failed to hide the knowing smile that spread across her face.
(Stop, shit,shit,shit,shit)
James' eyes brightened even more and he reached a hand out to stroke Lily's hair. With a sudden sharp movement, his other arm wrapped around her waist and hauled her up against him. "You're so beautiful, Lil," his voice rasped against her ear before he turned her face to his and fitted his lips to hers. "I love you," he pulled back to say, his voice deep, before closing in again. Lily smiled against his lips, then sighed as she responded to his heated kisses. Harry started rapidly calculating how many years of therapy he might have to endure if he kept watching this. He knew there must be something very important for Lily to keep the memory going. If it had been James' memory, well, Harry would have stopped watching five minutes ago.
James blindly reached out one hand to find his wand and cast a shield to soundproof his bed while still snogging Lily. He dropped the wand to wrap his arm around her again. Just as Harry was about to pull his head in defeat from the pensieve, he heard Lily's voiceover (clearly not Lily in the bed whose mouth and tongue were too busy with James' to talk) saying "Skip this bit." The scene faded in front of Harry's eyes, but the audio took a few seconds longer. Just before it ended he heard the sound of ripping cloth and Lily's voice from the bed laughing "James! I can't believe you transfigured my shirt to be rip-able." Harry suspected he'd admire his dad's ingenuity in the future although right now poking out his eardrums felt like the better option.
When Lily's memory returned, Harry saw she had just woken up. She looked refreshed and calm, nestling for a few minutes in James' arms. Her back was to James' bare chest and Harry could see his dad's deep and easy breathing stirring the hair near Lily's ear. Thankfully (for Harry), Lily must have pulled James' t-shirt over her before they fell asleep. She grinned to herself as she fingered the discarded green t-shirt, cleanly ripped down the front. Harry couldn't hear any other sounds in the room, not surprising with the Cone of Silence still hovering over James' bed.
Lily's head perked up as she noticed the edge of the Charms book Harry remembered from the library yesterday. It was poking through the curtain around the bed, partially hanging over the edge of James' end table. Moving carefully so she wouldn't wake James, Lily reached to grab the book and move it on to the bed next to her. It fell open to the page on the Contego spell, a scrap of parchment marking its place. Harry moved closer to his mum's side of the bed so he could read along with her. When Lily reached the warning at the end, Harry realized James must have managed to charm the spilled ink from the page. Lily and Harry simultaneously leaned forward to read it with quickened breath. Harry's neck crooked painfully at the odd angle but he could clearly see the words: "Caution: only effective if spell is performed out of love for recipient."
What? Harry's eyes returned to the line and he read it again carefully. Judging by the sharp intake of breath he heard from Lily, she had to do the same. What did that mean? Did this charm only have a chance to work because she loved James?
No wonder the charm was not well known and not taught in class, Harry reflected. He had never heard of it before, although he knew Lily was more advanced in Charms than he was. Still, it had worked for Lily when she used it to protect James.
Harry looked carefully at his mother, whose expressive face showed her reeling emotions. A tear ran down her cheek. She loved James and Harry guessed this was the first time she had fully realized it. Something else hit Harry- James had cleaned off the ink stain from the book meaning -he knew. He knew Lily loved him before she had the chance to tell him. James' puzzling behavior this morning-his giddiness even after the shock of the attack, his expectant expression, his certainty that Lily could not use the charm to protect Sirius- it all made sense.
Lily turned to look at James, still slumbering peacefully. She snuggled down next to James again, facing him this time. He moved a little, tightening his arms around her back. She started kissing his jaw, working her way slowly around his face until she reached his lips. James' eyelids fluttered as he slowly swam to consciousness, his lips starting to move against hers. "Lil?" he whispered quietly. "Are you alright?"
Lily smiled and kissed him again. "I'm more than alright, James." He opened his eyes, looking down at her happy face with a puzzled air. "I know I'm slow and a bit cautious for you," she began when she saw he was awake enough to listen. "And you've been more than patient. But I'm sure now. I can finally tell you. Even though you already know." Apparently, Lily had come to the same conclusion as Harry.
"What do I know? Tell me what?" His eyes were bright but still confused.
"I love you," Lily leaned in to kiss him again. "I love you so much, James."
James' face lit up. He gave Lily a dazzling, tender smile. "I love you too, Lily Evans." He rolled over so that he was on top of her and cupped her face between his hands. "I love you and I plan to spend the rest of my life making you happy."
The memory faded and Harry slowly pulled his face out of the pensieve. His eyes had a bright sheen to them as he thought of all he had seen. He was glad, so glad, that he had been able to witness how happy his mum and dad were together. Harry could hardly wait to tell Ginny—well most of it anyway. He'd like to save the t-shirt bit to try himself.