Hello again, I'm back. And since I tend to post all chapters at once in my stories I never get a chance to thank everybody for reviewing, so I'll do that here: Thank you very much those of you having reviewed my other stories. And those of you who will review this one. I think I'm becoming addicted. To reviews. Sad, isn't it?

And I still don't own the OC or any of the characters, and unlike some other people, I'm glad that's the case. It'd just be a lot of work, feeding and taking care of them.. No, I'm happy with my cats.

LN

Kirsten/Ryan

Kirsten looked outside, smiling as she saw the boys playing with their water cannons. At the moment, Seth was hiding behind a rhododendron bush, and Ryan came tiptoeing around the pool house. Kirsten returned to her work, but smiled again when she heard the yelling and the laughter from when they obviously spotted each other.

She heard them running, but suddenly they seemed to come to a halt. At first, she didn't think much about it, but when Seth's voice travelled in to her she looked up again, frowning. He wasn't laughing anymore, he sounded irritated. She didn't hear his words, but she saw him gesticulating wildly, and Ryan shaking his head. Ryan said something, dropped his water cannon and took a step backwards. Seth threw his hands up in the air and stomped off, into the house through the other door. Ryan didn't move for a moment or two, but then quickly disappeared into the pool house.

Kirsten was concerned. The boys didn't fight often, but faced with this scene she remembered a couple of similar events. A few weeks ago, they had been running around chasing each other for some reason, and suddenly Ryan had just stopped, deciding he'd had enough. Seth had been upset, of course, he didn't like being called to a halt in the middle of having fun. Kirsten shook her head and decided she'd have to talk to them if they didn't work it out on their own.

Some time later she looked up as he heard the door open, and there was Ryan.

"Hey." he said, quietly, not meeting her eye.

Kirsten could tell he wasn't comfortable, and she imagined it was from Seth and him arguing. She didn't understand why he'd break their games off like he did. Normally he'd do lots of things he didn't exactly feel like just to make Seth happy. And while she was glad he was making decisions based on what he wanted, she just didn't understand, because regarding other things he'd still more often than not let anybody else decide.

"Hey." she said softly. "You okay?"

He nodded, still not looking at her. Maybe she was wrong, maybe his uneasiness wasn't only based on fighting with Seth, because he was still standing in the door, shifting his weight between his feet. Like he waited for her to say something, but she couldn't think of what that would be.

"I-" he started, but immediately fell silent again.

"What?" Kirsten inquired.

"Nothing." Ryan said quickly, turning to leave.

"Ryan!" she called, and he turned back, but he still didn't look at her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I just.." he started again.

Kirsten waited.

"I wanted to talk to you. Ask you something."

Kirsten tried not to show she was surprised. Though Ryan lately had seemed more relaxed and trusting, and even willing to answer questions from time to time, she had never earlier heard him asking for advice.

When she didn't respond immediately he hastily said "But you're busy, I- it's nothing. See you later."

"No Ryan, wait. I'm not that busy. What did you want to talk about?"

Watching her, hesitating, he seemed about to take off, but suddenly he quickly sat down by the table, opposite her.

"I, uh.. Well, Seth."

Kirsten nodded to show she was listening.

"I think he's mad at me. Or, I know he is."

"Okay." she didn't want to choose sides, and hoped he wouldn't ask her to. Actually, she realized, she knew he wouldn't. He'd never ask anybody to do that, he was too convinced nobody would choose his.

"And he's right, I have this stupid thing I do." Ryan said, glancing at her as if afraid of her reaction.

"Okay?"

Kirsten of course, the scene she'd watched fresh in her memory, had her own theory of what the 'stupid thing' was, but she wanted Ryan to say it.

Ryan heard the question in her voice, but decided to ignore it, as she hadn't actually asked explicitly.

"I have a.. reason why I'm doing it though, but he thinks it's just out of spite." When Kirsten opened her mouth to answer, he continued, avoiding questions. "And what I wanted to ask you was; should I tell him? The reason? Because it might be something he doesn't want to know. Should I just.. not tell him and have him being angry with me sometimes?"

Carefully, Kirsten chose her words.

"You know, you'll be angry with each other from time to time, no matter what. It's a part of being a family. But I guess you realize that. About this particular thing, can I ask if it's the way you just stop? When you're playing around sometimes?"

Ryan nodded.

"Okay. Do you want to tell me the reason?"

Ryan looked away. "Not really. Nor do I want to tell Seth. But I suppose I should?"

"I don't know, Ryan. As I don't know what it's about."

He sat silent for a while, apparently thinking about her words. "If I told you, could you tell me if I should tell Seth?"

"Maybe, Ryan. Is it hard to talk about?"

"I.. no. Not exactly. I suppose telling you would be okay, it doesn't really affect you."

Kirsten was confused. She had no idea what he was talking about, but it sounded like he was going to tell her something.

"So okay, when we run around, like today, I sometimes have to stop, because.." He searched for words. "It becomes too real." He blushed. "I guess it's just the adrenaline, but after a while I can't tell if I'm just excited or.. afraid. I have.. there has been.. things have happened that were just too similar, only not a game. And when I get this feeling, I.. I feel like I'm not sure I'll be able to control it, like maybe I'll panic if somebody gets too close. If I do, I might hurt somebody. So I have to stop. I have to stop moving, calm down.."

Kirsten didn't know what to say. Her heart ached for Ryan, and she marvelled that he'd spoken so honestly and detailed about his feelings. Then she thought of something.

"Why do you think this doesn't affect me?"

"I.. suppose it does, in some ways. But you're not likely to chase me around the house, while Seth is. And I really don't want him to think about this every time we fool around, I just want him to treat me like I'm normal. Actually, I want to be normal. I'm so tired of having issues."

The last word was uttered with heavy disgust.

"But anyways, I suppose I should tell him? Or will it be worse for him if he knows? I mean, he's sort of freaked out every time I mention my past.. Will it be better for him just to believe I'm an ass sometimes?"

"Ryan, Seth doesn't freak out, he just.. he just doesn't know what to say."

"And if Seth not talking is not freaked out, then what is?"

"Good point. But maybe you should just let him get used to it. I think part of the freaking out is because he's just surprised. You don't really talk about your past, you know."

"I know. So you think I should tell him then?"

"I think being as honest with each other as possible is always a good thing."

Ryan looked down at the table. Finally he nodded and looked up at her.

"Okay. Thank you. Really. For listening. I'll go talk to him."

And he disappeared out of the kitchen, up the stairs.