One Day While Snow Was Falling
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I likely ever have any claim to Criminal Minds. I am simply borrowing the characters for a little non profit-inducing fun.
A/N: I wrote this during the non-winter like weather we had here in Toronto while a good chunk of my US neighbours were getting buried back in January/February. Since I sat on it and didn't post it I thought I'd wait until I finally got some snow again. Well, that finally came yesterday and voilà. I hope none of you mind indulging my delayed posting. Harlie
"Hey, P." Garcia heard, as she answered her cell.
"Hey, yourself, Hot Stuff. What can I do for you on this beautifully snowy afternoon?"
"You can pack a bag and be ready in about half an hour for me to come and pick you up."
"A road trip in this, Cupcake?"
He laughed outright. "No, Goddess. The weather report says we are going to get buried. The last time that happened, the generator of your building showed its age. I'm being proactive."
"Proactive, huh? Is that what they're calling lonely for the company of your Sunshine these days? The generator was replaced," Penelope said, teasing very evident in the lilt of her voice.
"Fine then. I don't want to have to drive all the way over to your place in the morning to fetch you when Esther declares she's not going out in all that snow," Derek shot back, sounding far more serious than his usual tone when speaking to her.
"You make a good point about Esther. She is a dear, but who can blame her in her advanced years; not wanting to go out when it's beastly outside? I'm impressed with your ability to even profile my car. I'll be ready."
"You're welcome. Pack extra in case we get stuck for a few days, too."
"I will. Thank you, handsome," Penelope said, but she was laughing as she hung up.
The trip Derek had anticipated only taking an hour tops round trip, ended up being nearly two hours. By the time they were safely back in his driveway he was tense and white-knuckled from the road conditions and the sheer idiotic antics of some drivers. Pulling into the driveway, he put his head back on to the headrest and let out a long sigh.
Penelope released her seatbelt and moved over until she was hovering right against his side. "Let's go inside, get a fire going in the fireplace. I'll make hot chocolate. We can even cuddle during a movie. What do you think? Would that help?"
Derek couldn't say for certain if it was the adrenaline high, the confined quarters of his truck, Penelope being so close or simply that it was time. Regardless of why, he heard the words coming out of his mouth and refused to shy away from what it would mean for them both. "What would help, Baby Girl is for you to move in with me so I never have to make that trip again."
"Sure, Hot Stuff. The next time there's a storm brewing I'll get over here ASAP," she said and started to shift away from him.
Moving far faster, Derek unbuckled his own seatbelt, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and hauled Penelope back against his chest. "Are you deliberately misunderstanding me, P, or do you really not understand?"
She turned in his arms and locked gazes with him before she spoke, "I understand the drive wasn't the most pleasant and I appreciate you caring enough to come and get me in the first place. What I don't get is why you have the sudden desire for us to co-habitat?"
"It's not sudden. If I'd had my way you would have been living here for the better part of three years now."
"Why? Because I nearly died?" Penelope made a face of disgust, as she asked the question, but then continued speaking without giving Derek a chance to reply.
"Do you really think I took anything you said to me during that time to heart? I knew you were scared to death of losing me; of what that would have meant for you as my best friend and our team. But honestly, Derek, I knew it was nothing more." She patted his arm, like she was placating an upset child.
He stared at her in unmitigated disbelief for so long she became uncomfortable and shifted out of his slackened embrace and exited the truck. She was already inside with her boots and coat off, bag in the guest room, and making hot chocolate like she'd said when he finally came inside, too. Once he'd removed his coat and boots he joined her in the kitchen. Or rather, he invaded the kitchen.
"I love you."
"I already know that, and I love you, too."
"Damnit, P. I mean I am in love with you. Have been for years, and I am so damn tired of fighting it, waiting for you to be ready."
Now it was Penelope's turn to stare, her mouth gaping. She bobbled the chocolate bar she had just been breaking up into the hot milk. It dropped in, splattering hot milk in her direction, but she remained unmoving. Derek was there in an instant, pulling her against himself and away from the scalding she would have received.
Derek ran his hands along her arms and sides to convince himself Penelope was unharmed before putting some distance between them. "You're okay. I guess I need to work on my timing."
"No, not if you meant it. If I've got to be burned I'd prefer it be from the intensity of your love for me instead of hot milk."
"I meant every word."
"Then I also need to tell you something fairly significant." Penelope's smile was shy but steady.
The grin that graced his features was uncertain. "What do you need to tell me, P?"
"I'm tired of hiding how I really feel about you, too. I really believed you were waxing poetic out of fear that night. Had I had one inkling…Why didn't you fight for me?"
Derek moved over to the stove and took over stirring the hot chocolate after cleaning up the spilt mixture from the floor, counter and stovetop. After a few minutes, Penelope got tired of waiting for a reply. She snatched the wooden spoon out of his grasp, slammed it down on the counter with one hand. With the other hand she reached around him and switched off the heat under the pot. "There; distraction removed. Answer me please."
"It's simple. A reason, a season and a lifetime," he replied and walked out of the kitchen.
Penelope followed close behind him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Derek was crouched in front of the fireplace setting up the wood for a fire. He didn't turn from what he was doing to address her, but did respond, "From the time Battle shot you, you started going on about how everything happens for a reason. My mom is a firm believer in the age-old story of wisdom about a reason, a season and a lifetime. She used to talk to us about it all the time. Mom would say, there was a reason she met and fell in love with my dad. He was part of her life for a season but left her with us kids for a lifetime. According to her, it's how she kept herself going after dad's murder."
Penelope made a sound that could have been in agreement or not. Derek glanced over his shoulder just long enough to see her thoughtful expression before he spoke again.
"So for us, Battle came into your life for a reason. It brought about the season of Lynch as much as I wished that wasn't necessary. But through all of it, Baby Girl, you and I are for a lifetime. It's our time now. As much as I hated you and Lynch together-and don't ever doubt for a minute that I didn't-it was a necessary period to get us to here and now." Derek twisted around from setting up the wood to hold her gaze with his own as he finished speaking.
Penelope sat down on the hearth handing him kindling, logs, and newspaper as required as he spoke until she eventually gave him the matches with these words, "But you didn't fight for me."
"Didn't I?" He met her questioning gaze briefly before putting a match to the newspaper and blowing gently to spread the flame. "I did fight for you. I fought my natural desire to cut and run. I fought the overwhelming urge to make a pass at you every damn day you were with Lynch and force your hand in my favour. I fought my family, both blood and the BAU, who couldn't understand why I refused to settle down. Most importantly, I fought not to lose you each and every time you thought about cutting me loose. Do you remember what I told you in New York?"
"That I am your God-given solace. Of course."
"Yes, and that's still true, but I told you something else. Do you remember?"
"I was so mad at you. I'm really not sure what you're getting at." Penelope cocked her head to one side and gave Derek a clear look at the confusion mirrored in her eyes.
"I said I would wait, P and I have. Don't tell me I didn't fight for you, woman because I have and I still am!" Derek tossed the box of matches aside and stood, looking at her with uncertainty.
"In what way?" Penelope moved off of her perch on the hearth, sitting on the plush throw rug in front of the fireplace instead. Derek sat down beside her when she took hold of his hand to prevent him from walking away again.
"I'm fighting for you now. Your inability to believe how I truly feel about you."
"Come on, Hot Stuff; look at this whole situation from my perspective. All the women notwithstanding," she said, rolling her eyes for emphasis.
"More specifically my reputation and Tamara, correct?"
"Yeah!"
"I rest my case," he muttered and stood back up. He shook his head and then walked out of the room. Penelope didn't follow this time. She watched the fire and battled against the tears making her eyes sting. Her attention was so focused, she startled when he returned a few minutes later with two cups of cocoa and a bag of marshmallows. "I figure you can burn these to a crisp, as you tend to do, while we finish this conversation." He handed the cups to her and then resumed his position beside her on the carpet.
"Thanks. I need something to help me focus. I thought you'd left," she whispered.
"Why do you have so little faith in me?"
"I don't? I trust you with my life!" She took the bag of marshmallows he held out to her and speared the first one with the poker in the side. Opening the grate she stuck the white confection in the midst of the flames and began to rotate it. He watched her movements, waiting for what he knew was coming. Sure enough the white exterior darkened and then caught fire. She left it for another few seconds before pulling it. It was blackened ash on the outside. Blowing three times, she tested its heat, slid the gooey glob off the poker and sucked the whole mess into her mouth.
Penelope's moan of contentment tested Derek's resolve to finish this conversation before he touched her in anyway that might be viewed as intimate. He thought about escaping to his workout room in the basement, instead, to help work out his frustration, but knew they needed this time to clear things up between them far more.
"Are you ready to listen now?"
"As long as you are willing to give me straight answers," she said stabbing two more marshmallows before handing him one of the pokers.
"Pen, you may trust me with your life, but not with your heart. I have always been honest with you about where you stand with me."
"By dating everything you could find in a tight, short skirt?" Penelope's tone dripped with sarcasm, but the hurt was there, too.
"Distractions. Pathetic ones, but all the same, nothing more than that."
"Tamara?"
"Easy. She was the anti you."
"I don't buy it."
"I can prove it."
"Have at it," she said, watching him eating his marshmallow that was hardly warm, let alone roasted.
"I'll begin with physical characteristics: black hair to your blonde, red, streaked…; skin colour, I think that's apparent; eyes, same colour, but hers were melancholy, whereas yours are happy and alive; she's statuesque but you, you, Goddess, are buxom; then there's your style; if Tamara had been any more conservative in dress and attitude, she would have been Sarah Palin. You, Sweetness, are colourful and spicy. Do I need to continue?"
He didn't actually wait for her to reply before he went on, "Tamara was my crisis of faith. It had been two years, and you were still with Lynch. I didn't dare interfere, no matter how badly I wanted to. But I was tired of the club scene, and if I had to turn down one more offer of a blind date, someone other than an UNSUB was going to get hurt. It was never going to last, because she couldn't be any less you. And you are all I have wanted for a very long time."
Penelope sat quietly watching him as she drank her hot chocolate. She knew she needed to respond, but was she being a fool accepting his words at face value? Even as those thoughts ran through her head, she heard his earlier declaration, "Pen, you may trust me with your life, but not with your heart."
"We're both fools, you know that?"
"How's that," he asked. Derek had given up on roasting marshmallows, and was now dunking them in his cocoa before popping them in his mouth.
"We've lost three years together at least because I didn't trust what you were telling me, and you, you were letting some story dictate how you chose to handle our relationship. We're certifiable idiots."
"Let me ask you this; do you love me?"
"You have to ask?" Penelope set her cup on the hearth along with the remainder of the bag of marshmallows, before taking his cup as well, and setting it beside her own. Cupping his face in her hands she declared, "I love you, Derek. With all my heart."
"I love you, too, Pen. Do you think two certifiably foolish idiots like us can pick things up from this point and do it right?"
Without answering, Penelope stood and walked over to a window looking out onto the street. The snow had already buried the wheels of Derek's SUV in the short time they'd been inside. Derek came up behind her maintaining just enough space so he wasn't touching her, and waited. She didn't leave him hanging for long. "I think it's a damn good thing you came to get me. Now we'll have time to just be together, and enjoy being in love, before the outside world can invade. Think you can handle that, Hot Stuff?"
"With you by my side and in possession of my heart, I can handle anything, P," he said as he closed the space separating them and held her tightly in his arms. Together, they watched while the snow continued to fall for a while longer, and then they returned to the warmth of the fireplace and their lifetime of love together.
Finis (At least I think so)