Title: Love on the High Seas #3: "Question of the Gods"
Authors: Pirates Sparrow and Turner
Rating: NC-17
Feedback: Yes, please! Seriously, we, like all other fan fic writers, thrive on feedback. However, flames absolutely will not be tolerated.
Warnings: Abuse, Death, Lemon, Nudity, Rape, Sex, Torture, Violence
Fandoms/Characters/Pairings: (Ace Ventura) Ace; (Angel/BtVS) A/C, Fresley, Faith, Lorne, Dawn, Connor, Spike, Darla/Dru, Lilah, Willow/Kennedy, Doyle, Groo; (Charmed) C/Pi, Prue, Phoebe, Paige, Kit, Sam Wilder; (Dawson's Creek) Dawson; (Disney) Jack Sparrow/Will Turner, Hook/Smee, Sebastian; (Elvira) Elvira, Gonk; (Excalibur) Kurtty, Rachel; (Generation X) Sean/Emma; (Happy Days) Fonzie; (Harry Potter) Albus Dumbledore, Snape; (Labyrinth) Jareth and company; (Marvel) Elektra; (Peter Pan) Hook/Smee; (The Pirate Movie) Frederic; (PotC) Jack/Will, Elizabeth, Anamaria; (ReBoot) Matrix/AndrAla, Ray/Mouse, Bob, Phong, Frisket; (Sabrina) Salem; (Shrek) Donkey; (Smallville) Clex; (Sons of Thunder) Trent, Carlos; (Starsky & Hutch) Starsky/Hutch; (SU2) Carl; (10K) Wolf; (Touched By An Angel) Andrew; (X-Men) RoLo, Morph, Sean/Emma, Kurtty, Professor X, Rachel, Callisto, Joseph/Rogue, Bishop, Beast, Gambit; (Xena) Aphrodite/Ares, Xena/Gabby, Joxer, Autolycus, Discord, Callisto, Strife; and (Zoolander) Derek/Hansel. Sooner or later, there's a pairing for every character, but if they're not listed here, the pairing will be with either a character from a different fandom or an original character or the pairing has not yet happened.
Summary: Many questions abound in the aftermath of Love on the High Seas #2: Isle of New Beginnings. Questions such as . . . What could bring together the greatest enemies of Angel, Spike, Faith, Jack Sparrow, Xena, and Elvira's family? What could the Pirates have done to anger the Goddess Discord so greatly that She joined forces with these enemies and led the two ships to the Pirates' island? Why were Jack Sparrow, Xena, Lex Luthor, Delvira, James Hook, Sean Cassidy, and Elvira all left behind while their loved ones and crew mates were taken away? How will they be able to rescue their people when their ships have been destroyed? If they can find a ship, will they even be able to reach them in time, and can they trust the Gods Aphrodite and Ares and/or the Wizards, Albus Dumbledore and Charles Xavier? Huge multi-crossover with such fandoms as Ace Ventura, Angel, BtVS, Charmed, Dawson's Creek, Disney, Excalibur, Generation X, Happy Days, Harry Potter, Labyrinth, Peter Pan, The Pirate Movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, ReBoot, Sabrina, Shrek, Smallville, Sons of Thunder, Special Unit 2, Starsky & Hutch, 10th Kingdom, Touched By An Angel, X-Men, Xena, Zoolander, and more!
Disclaimer: All established characters; all TV show, comic, and movie titles; and the Black Pearl are © & TM their respective owners and are used without permission. Crystal "Snowflake" Frost, Katrina "Firestar" Lewis, Celina "Pantheria" Lewis, Tom Ballard, Meesy, Brendan Richards; and all other original characters are © & TM Pirates Sparrow and Turner, are used with their permission, and may not be used without permission. The Sea Witch and everything else are also © & TM the authors. No copyright infringement is intended, and no monetary profit is made from these tales.

Prologue

Aphrodite was so fierce at what She had just seen that She could barely see for the red that filled Her vision. Still, She knew just where to go and who to take Her frustrations out on. She appeared in the middle of Ares' throne room, Her hands on Her hips and Her furious gaze narrowed in on the War God. "ARES!"

Ares had been deep in thought, contemplating an upcoming battle He was planning. For once, Strife and Discord had not been around driving Him insane, and He actually had a moment of quiet. He had learned long ago to use every moment to its fullest ability. He was disrupted by His name being screamed, and He opened startled eyes to see the most beautiful woman in all of existence who was now standing and staring at Him as though She hated His guts for something He had no clue as to what had even happened!

In fact, the last time He had seen her, She had been smiling at Him after They had had a very interesting night together. He was on His feet in an instant. "What's the matter, beloved sister?" He gazed at Her in a most beguiling way, hoping that He might have the pleasure of Her company later once He cooled Her off.

"DON'T," Aphrodite thundered in response, pointing directly at Him, "TRY THAT WITH ME!" Despite Her anger, She still did not want to hurt Him -- at least not yet. Instead, She moved Her finger to one of His self-replica statues and zapped it into a crumbling pile of dust.

"Ouch!" He cried. "Why are You so angry! The last couple of days, I've been looking at You, and You've been smiling! I thought You were happy? What has ticked Your little wagon off, and why are You pointing at Me and destroying My temple!"

"That's just the beginning, buster," Aphrodite ground out, "but believe Me, I'll finish this one and every one of the rest of Yours if You don't handle Discord!"

"Discord? What has She been up to now, and why blame Me!"

"She's Your charge," Aphrodite replied as if it were obvious. "You're supposed to be controlling Her, not letting Her run around destroying My best plans! This is Your warning, Ares -- Your one and only warning! If You don't stop Her, Your temples will pay for it, and this," She waved a hand, indicating Her own heavenly body. "Well, a cold day in Hades won't even get You back there!" She exclaimed before disappearing with as much warning as She had appeared.

"Ditey, darling!" He called after Her, His hands raised in futility. "So much for the best laid plans of the Gods!" He thought as He contemplated where Discord might be at the moment. He stomped His foot. It was all well and fine for Discord and Strife to play Their little games and stay out of His hair, but when it came to disrupting His lovelife, They were crossing the line!

Ditey had not answered any of His questions, just delivered Her little ultimatum and left. He wondered why She was so pissed and what it was over this time. He yelled at the top of His lungs, "DISCORD, GET HERE NOW!" His voice shook the walls of His throne room.

Seconds later, Discord appeared with Strife hiding behind Her. He knew better than to get any closer to Ares when He was pissed. Discord pouted at Her uncle. "What is it this time?"

"What have You and Strife been up to over the last couple of days?" Ares demanded to know.

"Why, Uncle, just the usual . . . " She smiled innocently. "Just carrying out Your orders whenever You give them."

Strife, however, was quickly backing away from Her and shaking His head just as swiftly. "I swear I didn't help Her! It was all Her doing!"

Discord turned to Him, Her dark eyes cutting into Him. "Don't you dare!"

"What are You two squabbling about," Ares demanded to know, "and what have You done to Aphrodite! Strife . . . " Ares grew a fireball and was bouncing it up and down in His hand, looking directly at Strife. "Just what didn't You help Her with?" He still continued to bounce the fireball, and it grew larger each time it touched His hand.

"I . . . Hum . . . I . . . " Strife continued to nervously mumble as His eyes darted between Ares and Discord. He could tell Ares' patience was growing swiftly short and knew His anger would be far worse than Discord's. "She did it all, Uncle!" He cried, pointing again at Discord. "She's the one who didn't like Aphrodite being happy! She's the one who -- "

"Strife!" Discord began to inch closer to Him, Her hands reaching out for His neck. "When I get My hands on You -- "

Strife yelped and raced for Ares.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Ares bellowed. "I want to know what You have done! You annoy Me, and I have no patience with either of You!" He threw a fireball at each one of them and immediately grew another one much bigger than the first.

Both screamed in pain, but it was Strife who started talking first. His words spilled out over themselves. "I didn't help her! I swear I didn't! She did it all! She turned them in! She . . . " He raked His brain nervously. How could He put what She had done into words? "She turned the . . . The Saucy Wench and The Harlot onto Aphrodite's latest couples!"

"WHAT IN THE HADES POSSESSED YOU, BITCH!" Ares roared and, within two quick steps, had picked Discord up by Her throat and was choking Her. He threw Her against the nearest wall and then turned on Strife, who He caught sneering at Discord. "When were You planning on telling Me about it, Strife?" Ares demanded even as He advanced on Strife.

"I . . . hum . . . I . . . " Strife stuttered as He scrambled backwards on His hands and knees. "Aw, come on, Unc! You know how You are! If I'd've told You, I'd've been blasted!"

"YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO BE BLASTED AGAIN!" Ares yelled. "YOU HAVE COME INTO EVEN MORE STUPIDITY THAN I EVER SUSPECTED YOU COULD! YOU'VE MESSED UP MY RELATIONSHIP WITH APHRODITE! IT WAS ON A VERY SHAKY GROUND LIKE IT WAS, AND NOW SHE HATES MY VERY GUTS AGAIN! YOU WILL TELL ME EVERY DETAIL!"

Ares looked over at Discord where She still lay on the floor. He pointed His finger at Her and sent Her away to the very deepest bowels of Hades. "AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN HER," He commanded, looking back at Strife, "YOU WON'T LEAVE ANYTHING OUT!"

Strife nodded and began talking just as fast as his lips could form the words. He explained how Discord had hated seeing Aphrodite so happy -- and even how She had been jealous of Ares' relationship with Aphrodite so that was actually a bonus to Discord. He told Ares how Discord had formed the plan of bringing the ships in, knowing that on those ships were the greatest enemies of Jack Sparrow, Faith, Kitty Pryde, Elvira, Delvira, Jareth, even . . . "Oh, yes! And, Uncle, You know why Ditey picked these couples to start with, don't You? They're all friends of Xena's, and Callisto's the Captain of the Saucy Wench!"

Ares stroked His goatee deep in thought, wondering how best to go about setting this mess aright. "Discord will not be coming back. I've had enough of Her little conspiracies. You figure out how to get us out of this mess, and You'll be My new second-in-command."

Strife gaped at Ares. "Me!" he asked in clear surprise.

"Yes, You, and don't take long about it! I had every intention of having a long, leisurely night with Aphrodite tonight, and now She hates My guts! FIX IT!" He barked and sent Strife away.

To Be Continued . . .