He can still see the lights of Midgar in their dimmer state from this far away. The once cyan aura that made it appear like the setting sun had vanished, the plants shut down or destroyed in the attack and ensuing damages their group had in part inflicted. One could make out the cannon that had been strapped together in haste even, a testament to the faults and tenacity of mankind. It was shrinking fast from view the further out the airship travelled to their final destination. The unsettledness of his stomach was at rest even with the rocking movements of the floor beneath his feet to which he owed the more pressing matters taking up his attention.
It would not be long now. The crater and Sephiroth were waiting from them, waiting from him to come knocking as representatives of humanity. A motley crew of representatives from various walks, but all having a singular goal. The do or die in fighting a physical god and saving the world.
Cloud leaned into the railing watching the cityscape of Midgar blur more. He was not able to sleep, he was always hard pressed to get any when dread was weighing on him. He wanted to get it over with. To get there and traverse the mountains and descend into the domain of Genova's son. Dread was making it worse, the pile ons of what if he was not able to shake.
Another's presence made itself known by the clack of boots on metal floorings. He could tell it was Tifa before she spoke. Some spacial awareness or more probable expectation to see her at some point before landing.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Voice chipper in the facade to maintain face as she set her elbows to the railings beside him. She was doing an excellent job of hiding it, better than him he thought. A part of him wanted to turn tail and run, but people were looking up to him. Barret, Cid, Nanaki, Reeve, Yuffie, Vincent, and her. It was the sort of pressure old Cloud might have run from, or not Cloud, the distinguishing differences were murky at best when defining who was who.
He was Cloud now, the right one, and he was not alone.
"How tiny Midgar looks from here." Okay, so it was not what he was dwelling on. He was thinking about it and the obvious answer needed to take a backseat. "When it isn't bright, it looks… tiny."
"Part of that is from how far away we are." She chimed taking a step back from the railing to stretch her arm above her head. "The other part is how dark it is." She made a fine point. Points. His persistent gaze at the fading city was removed taking up her, the other arm in the air stretching and brown eyes peering out onto the horizon.
"Yea." The word well was shallow to pull from, yet attempts were made all the same. There was not much to talk about that did not circle back around to the strong possibility they might die. It was not even getting to Sephiroth, they might on the way through the crater by whatever was lurking poisoned and hideous. He left the railing himself, hands slapping his cheeks weak to snap himself from the slump.
It earned a laugh, a genuine warm laugh which in turn made him break into the tiniest of smiles. "I see that smile, Strife." Tifa pointed out, gloved hands to her waist and expression warm as her laugh. That was first laugh he heard in too long. A good, real laugh. Not one of madness or glee in violence, just warm and pleasant. The sort that gave him reason to keep treading and finish what had started years ago.
"Likewise." Just to point out.
"So, what were you really thinking about?" She throw at him again, defenses down from the moment shared.
"What's coming next. How I'm scared. How I kinda want to run away." Her head shook baring smile being able to read right through his dry tone and into his special brand of humor.
"Too late now. There isn't any getting off this train." Barrett must of said something or the saying was far more common than he thought. Still it dragged a exhaled of a chuckle. What an odd call back and truth wrapped in one. Stepping on the train was entering this whole mess really, addressing who he really was and admitting truths he had ignored.
"No brakes." He made a gesture and her arms crossed.
"No, there aren't any." Hair fell with the tilt of her chin. "Doesn't mean you shove everything inside, again, you have people to talk to you know?" He did, sorta.
"A leader has to be strong." No, wait, he was putting up walls again. "I guess I don't want to let anyone down, lead by example and… stuff." The right words were failing him, but the gentle nods of Tifa seem to reflect her understanding.
"You are strong. Why do you think we're still all here following you to the end?"
"You got on the wrong train?"
"Nope." She gave a soft punch to his chest and in turn he gave a feign exaggerated wince. "Come on Cloud, you should doubting yourself so much. I think it's safe to say it's behind you now." Pessimistism begged to differ that the worst of it was yet to come, but the sentiment was gathered. He was not alone and he was him, the general gist of things in the fewest amount of words.
"It's not all behind me. We still have one thing left to do." The order of saving the world from impending doom by way of a astronomical calamity. Things were less complicated when motives were fueled by personal reasons. Revenge was not in the long game, they all had more or less achieved it. Sephiroth was already gone, the one at Nibelheim was gone anyhow. This one was a monster and facade of the heroic image the public once held.
Cloud was sympathetic in a way. There was not any justification for his actions, yet the shrodding madness and loss of self in the discover of whom you were was a feeling Cloud was versed in. Maybe under better circumstances all parties involved could have faired off better, the trail of what if cut abruptly by his own conscious and another gentle jab.
"Hello? Cloud?" Concern and smile alike were over her face.
"Ah, yea?"
"Spacing out?"
"A little, guess it's why I can't sleep."
"So… this has nothing to do with having the fate of world resting on your shoulders."
"A little." He lied. She picked up on it.
"It's not the first time there was a chance we might die." Those chances had been climbing higher since the train started rolling forward. Implication was not toward that, a mixed expression of confusion and undermining anxiety.
"Is this about-?" The words fumbled. They were saved by the timing of Tifa.
"A little." Okay, that was kind of funny and eased the tension. It also meant he was on the right track of thought in recalling certain nights before encountering death. The ones where they got carried away in fear, adrenaline, and need.
"I wasn't entirely me." He frowned unsatisfied by his response. "I don't mean that as an excuse."
"I know, I know, but-" Instead a fist it was her shoulder dropping to his. "I'm pretty sure most of you was there, like I remember you." Small and afraid as he recalled it. Evidently Tifa did not think the same.
"When we were young?"
"Younger, but not kids Cloud. I recall you ended up being hero material." She lost him on the trail of thoughts. What was his memories or hers imprinting upon him was difficult to decipher. Regardless, hero did not sound like him; the usual him. "That's a good thing." She added spotting the sinking pit of thinking too hard and too long.
"So?" His head leaned toward hers on his shoulder. Fingers looped their way into his and held tight for a brief squeeze. Recollection of those nights where they were unable to sleep take foothold in thought, warmth circling through his body and budding from where their bodies met.
"I can't sleep and you can't sleep, that's what I'm saying." And the rest was left to implication and taken up, slow, by Cloud in a turn to face her. He pulled in breath learning from time and time again to fill his lungs before going in for a kiss. Tifa's hand tightened about his when lips met lingering for a moment and ending with a tiny gap between them.
"Too jittery, right?" Unable to stay still in body and mind long enough to pass out. Sex was not the only solution or even a great solution, yet it did not prevent them from going at it.
"Yea, jittery." She answered with a sheepish laugh removing her hand from his to push at his stomach. His feet staggered back unprepared, hand going out to retake hers and drag her with him. "Taking up the leader role?" Tifa chimed following him toward the door.
"Guess I am." Not in the traditional sense, but he was leading. The airship did not offer much in means of privacy. A couple of rooms and places to stow away, but nothing that sufficed as personal space. He led her on ducking under mechanical devices and low beams to his designated room, one that held little and half was taken up with cot.
The door creaked shut and locked, Tifa stepping behind him and lifting off her tanktop in a haste he was not aware of until turning back around. Time was limited, something he forgot just for a precious second. He was wasting it, what may be the last time, his fingers quick to pick at his straps. Boots took longer standing on one long and then the other as she sat on the cot removing her own. A gentle laugh rose his head, expression solemn.
"What's so funny?"
"You." She blurted out stretching her arms by folding her hands over her knee. To say he was unfazed was not true, but Cloud went back to removing his boots leaving him to his pants and top. She popped up unhooking her skirt and letting it pool at her feet. The bed was free to him allowing him to slip out of his pants and toss his shirt aside. Left to his boxershorts, he shifted over before she crawled over him placing him under her.
He was already stiff knowing full well where things were leading, his boxers strained to a point as her hands dipped between them picking at the waistband. Distractions were a plenty. Mind the obvious ones were not the only ones, although Cloud was not foolish or obtuse to the point of ignoring how Tifa looked. Other details stuck out, the less obvious ones, like the mischievous flicker in her brown eyes. Foreplay was removed more or less from this spur of the moment needs. To some degree the danger ahead and associated with keeping things sneaky acted as a replacement.
Frankly he was not certain or cared beyond the tendency to overthink. It was prevented by his own actions, a lean up to kiss and settle his hands to her waist thumbing the natural lines of her body. It was a not so subtle attempt to linger and enjoy this before stumbling ahead.
She did not seem to mind granting him a soft hum of approval before slipping his last piece of clothing off. His hands went back to work circling behind and rising to pick at her bra. The frantic nature of things were a memo his fingers must have missed seeing the lack of clumsiness. Tossing her bra aside, hands sunk back down hooking his thumbs under her panties to slip them down. The act of undressing took two, a stifled laugh escaping her lips between kisses at the awkward positions to finally get everything off.
"Guess we were both in a hurry." She whispered drawing up and setting her hands to his chest. Dark hair fell across her shoulders conflicting the paleness of her skin and areas of flush. He did not pretend he was without flush and wildness about his hair, though hers was far more endearing from his position he thought.
"We're calmer." As if it was the point of all this. Which it may well have been, his bright eyes closing in a soft sigh. It was movement about his waist that snaps them open, her hands picking at his pants. Oh. Right. He could not exactly turn, but he could speak up. "Not there. The locker, I think."
The search dropped and was turned away, not before another release of pent up air and a kiss. She was fast, lifting off of him and leaning away to dig through his mess of a locker. No time wasted before pulling forth a rubber and tossing it his way. "In a bit- hm?"
Again, he was not going to argue.
Pressure was taken in more than the touch of her fingertips. The first time there had been an awareness of the strips of callouses, the same on his hands, but it was how tender she went about touching him that stood out. It still did as her palms spread apart eased across his torso from his chest down. Cloud matched the motions in sort hovering his hands around her back and waist.
His right left from her side drifting between them and pressing fingertips to her stomach to drag downward. They slid past her mound and found their way into her fold earning a content shudder. Her eyes were fuller and hands pressing into him harder. Chances were it was some way to keep the noise down and he guessed this from doing similar acts in hopes to quiet himself down.
Tiny motions were put petting her to greater dampness and exchanging warmth through the conduits that were her hands. Light pants slip in the confines of the small room, their weight laying heavier against the cot and breath becoming hard to gather. His lips felt sore and the rest of his being clicked in association from the lack of rest, yet there was a sense of rejuvenation and dwelling warmth easing him. Amid the quietness a gentle slick noise built adjoined by further gasping.
"Cloud-." Tifa whispered under a sigh casting her sight and smile lower. Motion halted below reeling his fingers back. Her body arched back sliding her sprawled out hands across his abdomen before reaching out taking the condom from his hands. Too slow, again nothing he could mind for, her teeth picking at the pre cut edge and pulling the rubber out. Her left braced his shaft giving a tentative stroke and shifting back to wrapping his member.
"Scoot back, just a little." She orders in a half tease rising to let him pull back.
"Tifa…" He struggled for words or silence by the kiss following soon after muttering her name. They were running against time, his face leaning over peppering her neck with kisses. Even throw the condom he feels her hand leading him, her folds taking in his head and then gradually moving down.
"No words Strife… just feeling, m'kay?" She chimes in calmness forwarding her head into him. Shudders take over her body as more of his in taken in, his lower jaw shaking in response as warm pressure builds at the underside of his stomach. Just feelings and no words lest he stumble on them. Looking out after him again, a thin smile breaking as his arms circled around her.
His hips rock into hers and her body rises in gradual burst striking up friction between them. Pants and gasp were no longer reigned in. Touching and kissing blurred as passionate acts of comfort. Low squeaks broke past her lips and the heightening friction multiplying in stronger movements.
"Cloud… Cl-Cloud…" Her body convulsed and tightened around his shaft setting him across the edge. Heat and weight broke in response setting them to feed each other's orgasm. White heat spilled over blotting out time. As reality sank back in, arms and bodies wrapped up.
"Still there?" The voice teased peeling back and eyeing him with one shut. A line of pink ran from ear to ear across her face burning brightest at her cheeks. The glimmer in her eye offset the brown to near gold calming and warm.
"Sure am, with you." Off the hip fast, no wandering in the hallways of his mind or suggesting he was not all there. He sighed and nipped at her neck earning a stifled chuckle at the gesture. He felt alive and revigorated against the faint tire tugging at his eyes. An excuse to settle under covers instead of standing back up with their chins high, yet Cloud knew and would do better than wait in idleness. They had a mission for all the world after all; the inclusiveness without limitations of whom they and he were fight for.
"Good." Her hips roll and her chin resets itself on his shoulder. Idle circles were drawn onto his back. It would not be long, the same words thought, but it would not be harder to face with resolve rekindled. It was something he ought to bring up in voice. Once his head was less cotton filled and the residue of pleasure dried up.
"Can we stay like this for a bit longer?" Spoken like a boy unwilling to unwrap himself from covers wanting a few minutes more. A few more where all he wanted, all he needed, with her.
"You don't have to ask." She answered hugging tighter ceasing the drawn motions on his back.
"I don't feel so scared any more." No interpretation to what drove the nagging demons of turning tail out from his mind. He was not going run anyways, yet this was refresher in more ways than one.
"Me either." A pause her arms shifting about his shoulders. "Thank you."
"No, thank you." What could only be called a pull lost slack, his eyes opening from their thin hold at the sensation. "We're close, I can tell… we should, ah… get ready."
"Taking charge again?" She jokes, he nods, they laugh dry, and attempt to part. It took several kisses to break apart and haste in wiping clean. Clothing and armor were assembled in a joint effort with soft cautious smiles. Fiddling with the door, his other hand gave a firm squeeze back at hers and a nod of confidence.
"Let's go, there's a tomorrow we have to secure for everyone… for us." The door led to the unknown, however alongside her and everyone else; he felt he could take on the heavens.