Spoilers: High Fidelity parts 1 & 2, and anything before.

Timeline: This fic starts on graduation day, and though it's not a sequel to my first fic (Say it Again), I do refer (sort of) to a few things in it.

Author's Note: Any sentences in italics are the inner thoughts of the characters, but not to be confused with the individual words in italics meant for inflection.

Posting: Only with the permission of the author.

Chapter 1

Dawn was just starting to break across Degrassi, and at the Nunez apartment all was still and quiet. Emily and Chad were passed out. One on the couch, the other strewn on the bed while Alex, on the other hand, was laying wide awake staring up at her ceiling. She had been awake most of the night, nodding off and on when exhaustion finally overtook her. But every time she woke up, the same thoughts were running through her head.

Graduation day. I should be happy. I should be thrilled. I'm finally out of here. I'm finally free. And yet, I couldn't be more miserable.

Alex blinked as the morning sun began to filter in through her blinds and in her best attempt to deny the coming day, she pulled the blanket over her head as she groaned in her misery. It had been a rough couple of days. First she broke up with Paige, and then she had to watch the merriment of the end of the school year going on around her like a contagious disease that she was somehow immune to. And though she did her best not to notice, she couldn't help but see Paige flitting around in glee as though nothing had happened.

Just a few days ago I was happy, I had a girlfriend, I had school. School - I don't understand why I'm mourning it since I never really liked it. I guess cuz it gave me some sort of purpose, or at least something to do and somewhere to go. But now what? I don't have anything to occupy my time, but I suppose I only have myself to blame for that. Damn that psychology class.

The raven haired girl pulled the blanket away from her face in exasperation while sitting up in bed, and caught a glimpse of a favorite picture of a favorite blonde on the night stand next to her bed. All at once her heart sank deep into her chest, and began to ache so badly she thought it was physically collapsing. Feeling defeated, she flopped back onto her bed with a ragged sigh.

This is going to be a very long day.

Despite the early hour, across town at the Michalchuk house things were moving in a very crazy fashion. Mom and Dad were busying themselves getting ready for the graduation party, Paige was racing around trying to pick out what she was going to wear, while Dylan was laying calmly on his bed talking to his boyfriend on the phone.

"Dylan!" Paige came bursting through his door as though it were a matter of life or death.

"Jesus!" He jumped up as if his bed were on fire, "What?"

"I need the phone," she stated with her hand outstretched.

"Now? I'm kind of in the middle of a conversation."

"Please, I think the two of you can make it until you see each other later at graduation."

"Well so could you and Alex."

"I wasn't going to call Alex, and besides, we broke up."

Into the phone Dylan said, "I'll call you back, Marco." After clicking the phone off, and dodging Paige's once again outstretched hand, he asked gently "When did you break up?"

Deflating a bit, the blonde calmly responded "A couple of days ago."

"How come you didn't tell me?" He asked concerned.

"I haven't really told anyone, and besides, it wasn't that big of a deal" at this she looked down at her feet almost ashamed at what she had just said.

"Not that big of a deal, Paige, you two were going out for more than three months. You seemed so happy. Hell, she practically lived in my room for a couple of weeks." Turning his head to the side a bit, he suddenly had a bit of a realization. "Was this about Banting?"

She looked back up at him, surprised he would guess it so easily. "Sort of. Or at least, that was part of it."

"Mmm-hmm," he nodded, "your superiority complex finally caught up with you, didn't it?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"What? No! And I do not have superiority complex!" she said in a huff.

"Oh come on, Paige. You've always thought you were better than everyone else. I mean, I love you, but you can be hard to deal with sometimes."

With a piercing glance and grabbing for the phone, she spun on her heel and walked back into her room with Dylan right behind her.

"Did you realize you would be going off to Banting with a white trash girlfriend who you'd have to explain to all of your new 'in crowd' friends?"

She flew around about to scream at him, but could see he was only challenging her. Still furious with what he said, she threw back "First of all, don't you ever talk about her like that! Second of all," suddenly her voice dropped to little above a whisper, "she broke up with me."

Unable to hide the surprise on his face, he tried to reign in his voice, "Oh. I'm sorry."

"Yeah well, I guess it was a matter of time. We're too different, and we want different things." She spoke matter-of-factly into the clothes she was still filtering through. "It was nice while it lasted, but I think both of us knew it wouldn't go on forever."

Looking closely at her, and seeing the uncertainty on her face, he gently asked, "Are you sure that's how you really feel?"

Paige paused, then took in a deep breath. Slowly she looked up, and Dylan could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

After wallowing got to be too much for her, Alex finally pulled herself out of bed and wandered into the bathroom to assess the damage that her restless night had brought about. The apartment was just as painfully quiet, with the occasional sound of the refrigerator gurgling. The floor creaked as Alex walked into the bathroom, and flipping on the switch she squinted as she got used to the brightness of the blaring lights that were practically screaming at her from above.

"Great, I look just as crappy as I feel" she spoke out loud to the mirror in front of her. "I guess not all of us can always look as winning as Ms. Paige Michalchuk." She ran her fingers through her bed-head hair, while fixating on the dark bags under her eyes. "You'd think I had a good time last night giving how I look" she flatly stated as she looked down at her tasseled t-shirt and boxers. "I really wish that was the case." With one last hard glance at herself, she grabbed a towel and a washcloth out of the cabinet and began to get ready for her shower.

Paige gave Dylan all of the details of her breakup with Alex, along with what happened with Spinner soon after. Dylan did his best not to scold her for her actions while remembering how he had acted before and after his breakup with Marco. He was not one to throw stones.

"So are you and Spinner..." he trailed off making a motion with his hands to indicate he meant 'together'.

"No, no, no" she said shaking her head. "It was more of a 'goodbye' to high school than anything, and since Spinner and I have so much history it just seemed, I dunno, appropriate I guess."

"Ok...So...Does anyone else know?"

"About Spinner and me?" He nodded. "Hazel. And I think Marco."

"Marco?" He said surprised. "He didn't say anything to me about it."

"Well probably cuz Spin was the one who told him, and he never wanted to get in the middle of it since Spin and Darcy have been trying to patch things up."

"Does Alex know?"

"No!" she sternly said as if to warn him to keep his mouth shut.

"You sound as though you're feeling guilty."

"Well, I know I didn't do anything wrong. I mean, we had broken up, but you know, I don't want to hurt her with this."

"Don't you think she will eventually find out?"

"I hope not" she practically whispered with a far away look on her face.

Watching her actions closely, he asked "So what happens now?"

"I don't know. I guess I spend the summer working at the theater, and then I'm off to Banting for a whole new life."

"And you and Alex?" he gently prodded.

"We go our different ways." Once again she looked off, but this time her gaze went out the window as if looking for something, or someone.

Alex emerged from her shower in a whirl of steam as she grabbed for her towel. She tried wiping away the water droplets off the bathroom mirror, only to find her reflection in a blur, yet she was still able to see the visible fatigue on her face along with the great sadness.

This sucks. This really sucks. This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. This can't be my life.

She sighed deeply while picking up her toothbrush and grabbing the toothpaste.

I am so dreading having to see Paige at graduation. Why couldn't I have at least had the brains to wait until this summer to break up with her? Why couldn't I have just tried to make it work? She wanted us to find a place together, how could I have been so stupid?

She stared intently at herself, looking at every curve of her face and every strand of hair. "I should try talking to her" she thought out loud to the image in front of her. "She'll be in a really good mood, and it might be my best shot at getting her to hear me out."

The sound of her mom shifting in bed drew Alex out of her daydream and back to her reality. After drying off, she wrapped the towel tightly around her and made her way back to her room. She opened her closet and assessed her wardrobe looking for something to wear to graduation.

I don't get people who stress over what they're gonna wear to graduation. It's not like anyone can see your clothes under the gown, and most everyone changes into something different for their parties or whatever.

She grabbed a t-shirt and a comfortable pair of jeans and began to work out what she wanted say to Paige after the ceremony. "I can do this."

Paige was going through her closet for the fifth time, still not feeling right with the outfit she had picked out.

"Dylan, what do you think of this one?" she asked holding a summer dress in front of her.

Distracted, he replied, "I like it."

"That's what you've said about everything else I've shown you" she sighed in exasperation.

"Well everything else was good too. What difference does it make anyway? It's not like anyone is gonna be able to see it under your gown."

She rolled her eyes, "How is it you're gay?"

He finally looked up from his magazine and laughed. "Just because I don't get a thrill out of dressing up my little sister doesn't mean I am any less gay, than say, the Fab Five."

"Why couldn't you have been one of them? That would be so much fun!"

Dylan just shook his head and looked back down at his sports magazine. "How is it you ever dated a girl like Alex?" he joked, but then immediately regretted it. He could tell from their earlier conversation that she was feeling bad about their breakup regardless of what she might say. "Paige, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring her up again"

Paige's mood had visibly shifted, but she kept up her cheery disposition as much as she could muster. "Its ok."

Since he had already brought it up, he had to ask the question he had been dying to ask ever since he found out his baby sister was dating a girl. "Do you think you might ever date another girl?"

Paige glanced at him quickly before returning her attention to her overflowing closet. "I don't know," her voice was quiet and serious. "I think I would compare them all to Alex."

"How would that be any different from your past boyfriends?"

"I guess cuz I never thought I would date a girl," she trailed off as she picked up the pair of jeans she wore to the film premier she went to with Alex. "It will probably be a while before I think about dating another girl."

Dylan nodded understanding what she meant. Alex was special, and there would be no replacing her.

To be continued