Gradually, the jokes about Mike Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang started to die down as the students of McKinley High School grew accustomed to the courting Asians. (Or kissing cousins, as they were better known throughout the halls.) Likewise, Tina learned more and more about the quietest member of glee club as their relationship blossomed. She learned that he was more Asian than she ever could have thought possible. His family went out for dim sum multiple times a week. His aunt owned a nail salon. His sister was a certified genius. The list went on and on.
And then, one day she found out about something she'd never expected. Mike, like her first boyfriend, had a disability. (Well, a disability other than the fact that he was tone deaf.) But unlike Artie, who displayed his differences for the world to see, Mike's was carefully concealed.
Until one day.
They were giving oral presentations in sex education, the worst idea in the history of school projects. (The mere mention of the word 'oral' during a sex ed class automatically evoked giggles and whispers.) Ms. Holiday was subbing on the day the project was due, and she actually laughed out loud when she saw the lesson plan. "Well, well, it says I'm supposed to draw our first victim's name out of a hat…"
In the back of the room, Tina overheard Brittany asking Artie about the whereabouts of that pesky duck.
"Up first…" Holly did a drum-roll on the desk, grinning at the sight of these nervous and sweaty teens, squirming in their desks. Now this was what she called sex education! "We have Mr. Mike Chang!"
Tina saw Mike flush crimson as he begrudgingly got to his feet and dragged himself to the front of the classroom. In the back of the room, Artie whooped loudly and Mercedes gave a wolf whistle. Tina knew, from Mike's recent rant to her via text message, that he was supposed to get up and explain the process of ovulation to the class. She had second-hand embarrassment already, and Mike hadn't even started talking.
Mike clutched a 3x5 index card like he was hanging on for dear life. Tina watched his hand shake as he raised the card in front of his body like a shied. After an agonizing few seconds of silence, Mike began to speak. "O-o-o-o-vulation is the prrrrrocess in a female's…. mu-mu-mennnnnnnnstrual cycle by which-by which-by which a mature ovarian follicle rrrrrrruptures and… and… discharges… (his face contorted suddenly during a very odd pause)… an ovum."
Curiousity won out over embarrassment as Tina chose to focus on the peculiar sound of his speech rather than the terrible presentation that he'd copied word from word from Wikipedia. But judging from the pitying look on Mrs. Holiday's face, Mike probably wouldn't be losing any points for plagarism. Why would Mike Chang know anything about ovulation anyway? He barely knew how to put a condom on a cucumber.
Three horrible speeches later (… well, actually, Artie entertained the class with a humorous presentation about libido, complete with a snazzy powerpoint), Tina was chasing a humiliated Mike all the way to the library. She finally caught up with him, grabbing him by the arm. When he turned to face her, she realized he looked like he was trying not to cry. Cry! Mike was on the football, was easily one of the funniest and most liked guys at school, and yet he looked to be on the verge of tears.
"Mike?" Tina remembered to whisper. The librarian always scowled and muttered to herself whenever she saw the two Asians loitering between shelves. "What happened back there?"
Mike drew in a deep, shaky breath. "I haven't stuttered like that since seventh grade," he said, in a hushed voice. "But when I was up there in front of the class like that, having to talk about o-o-ovulation… there I go again… I was twelve years old all over again."
"You… stutter?" was all Tina could say.
Mike blinked a few times, then pulled a disgusted face. "Kind of," he admitted. "I used to do it a lot. Mostly, I blame my parents for putting so much pressure on me to be just like brainy old Janine, but they say there's no real known cause for st- for it."
Now that she was looking for it, Tina realized that Mike had suddenly changed the word right before he was about to stutter. "Do you always do that?" she asked, and it was clear that Mike knew exactly what she meant because he nodded immediately.
"I used to have a really hard time introducing myself to new people," he explained. "So much so that I even changed my name just to avoid saying it. I knew I would stutter on 'Mike Chang,' but if I changed it to Tony Tran, I didn't have a problem. I did that a few times. Once, I was found out. That was embarrassing…"
"Mike," Tina began, trying to be tactful. "Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"
Mike shrugged and stared at his feet. "Probably should have done that," he said. "Especially when I noticed that you stutter, too. Or… you used to. I guess glee club fixed you, huh?"
Tina felt her ears burning. She'd already messed up one relationship by confessing to this stupid lie. She could just stick to the story that glee club fixed her, if that was what Mike chose to believe. Besides, in a way, it was true.
Sparing Tina the pain of coming up with an actual response, Mike went on to say, "I mentioned my stutter to Artie once…"
Suddenly, Tina became very interested in her arm warmers. "Oh, really?"
Mike always felt a little uncomfortable bringing up Tina's ex-boyfriend, but it wasn't because he didn't like the guy. Quite the opposite, actually; Mike and Artie were becoming good friends. Tina and Mike even double dated with Brittany and Artie on a regular basis. But Tina's reaction to hearing Artie's name was always the same.
"Yeah," said Mike. "He thought I should confide in you, since we had that little problem in common at one point in time…"
Tina stopped examining her arm warmers long enough to meet Mike's stare, her lips parting in awe. She could not believe that Artie Abrams had covered up her big lie. Mike, thankfully, noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Kissing him quickly ("Asian kiss!"), she assured Mike that she was glad he could tell her his big secret.
They were interrupted by Brittany, who was proudly carrying a stack of books. She held them up and reported that Artie was going to help her check them out. As she spoke, Artie appeared from behind a shelf. Tina looked down at Artie. Artie looked up at her. She mouthed a silent 'thank you.'
Artie smiled.
