To watch the one you love die is to watch part of you die. That's how I feel right now as I watch a friend and a lover die right in front of me. I've never felt more helpless than I do right now. I'm still trying to figure out how all of this happened. All I remember is hearing a scream then when I looked to see if everyone was okay I saw him lying there. I was told that there was nothing that could be done to save him. But I didn't listen; I still picked him up off the ground and ran for help. You may be asking what happened. I'll get to that in time I promise. When I got to the castle I was met by one of the nurses. They took him away. That alone gave me some hope that would be okay. After a moment I start to run after them, just in case something should happen to him I want to be there for him.

When I got the hospital wing I tried to get in to see him, but they wouldn't allow me in. Not that I blame them, they wouldn't want me getting in the way. They did tell me that it would take a while to fix him, if they could. I still remember the look of terror on everyone's faces when a Dhampir came running out of the forest and started to attack people. Well she tried to anyway. The only one to get hurt was him. I hear people running towards me. I really don't need them give me their sympathy or anything else they are going to give me, even though now when I think about it they would never give me their sympathy. "Malfoy, what were you thinking taking Harry and running away like that. I mean you two just became friends, so why are you even acting like that?"

"Because Granger, nobody else was doing anything I mean you was just going to let him die. Some friend you are." She looks pissed but she knows I'm right. She's only partly right when she said Harry and I had just become friends, yes Harry Potter and I, Draco Malfoy, are now friends, but we have been friends for at least a couple of years now. And we have been lovers for about six months. I can still remember the night when we first began to understand each other.

Our first meeting took place just a few weeks after school started. I had received a letter from my family telling me some shocking news.

I'm currently sitting up in the Astronomy Tower thinking about a letter I just got from my mother. She told me that she was pregnant and that it was going to be a boy. Apparently she has been pregnant for at least five months, but she never felt the need to tell me anything about it. To say I'm upset would be an understatement. I can't believe that she kept this from me, but what has me even more upset is the fact that she is pregnant at all. I mean she isn't young, so not only am I upset but I'm also worried about her health. But there isn't anything I can do about it.

The reason I'm up here instead of down in my room is because I want to be alone. I look back outside I see that it's completely dark now. I had come up here just after dinner; I had shown the letter to Professor Snape and then asked him if I could come up here to be alone for a while, he gave me his permission. I pull my watch out of my pocket. It's almost ten pm now. 'Wow time fly's when you're doing nothing.'

I hear someone open the door. I quickly get up to defend myself, without my wand. But when I see who it is I pull my wand out. "Potter, what are you doing here?" I say, making sure that I still sound like my normal self.

"I could ask you the same thing, Malfoy." He says back, to anyone else he would sound normal, but I can tell there is something wrong with him. 'I think he's come up here for the same reason I have.'

"I came up here to be alone; I have a lot on my mind right now." I say calmly. He doesn't say anything; instead he just looks at me. I think he's shocked that I can actually be civil to him. In truth the only reason I'm being nice is because I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts to care about how I treat him. After a few seconds of awkward silence he finally says something.

"It's the same for me." I go back over to my spot and sit down. I look over at him to him and see him staring at me.

"What? As long as we don't talk to each other we can pretend that we are alone." He doesn't say anything, but he does nod in agreement with me. I watch him walk over to another window and sit down. I don't know how long we've been sitting there thinking about our own problems before he decides to talk.

"What reason could you have for wanting to be alone? I mean you have it all, right? Two parents and you're an only child. You have a bunch of followers that do almost whatever you ask of them. What the hell could you have to be upset about?" For some reason he sounds a little angry as he talks.

"It doesn't concern you Potter. But for your information, my life isn't as great as you seem to think is, so you shouldn't talk about something you know nothing about." I make sure he knows I'm annoyed by the fact that he, once again, interrupts my thoughts. "Plus what could you have to be upset about? I mean you're the golden boy. You have it all, right?" He whips his head around to look strait at me.

"Don't you ever act like you know what my life is like." For some reason that statement pisses me off a little.

"Oh yes life must be so hard for you. You have it all, the family, the friends, the fame and glory. What do you have to be upset about?" He gets up from where he's sitting and walks over to me, he looks ferrous.

"My life isn't as great as what you seem to think it is." He repeats my own statement, probably to try and piss me off.

"Prove it." I say. I remain sitting next to my window.

"Well you have your parents, I don't, all I have is an abusive uncle, cousin, and aunt. And as far as friends go, yeah I have them, but very few of them are actually my friends, most of them are with me because of a name and a scar. And as far as fame and glory, take it, you can have it, because I don't want it. So tell me how I have it all." I think about it for a moment. He is right, not that I'm to tell him that. "Well are you going to say anything?"

'So he wants to hear my story, fine, I can play this game.' "Well you're right; you're life isn't all that great, but it's still better than mine. You have real friends, and at least you know what your family thinks of you. Right now my mom and dad are planning to turn one of the rooms into a nursery. They've pretty much forgotten about me. My dad thinks I'm a huge failure, and he's probably going to replace me as his heir with the baby. I'm going to lose all my friends, if you want to call them that. I mean I'm losing everything to someone that that hasn't even been born yet." When I get done he doesn't say anything, he just looks at me. I guess he's trying to figure out what to say.

"Isn't your mom a little old to be having another kid?" I should have found that a little offensive, but I don't.

"Yeah, but that's not stopping her. I'm trying not to think about how she got to this point." I'm being serious, but apparently he finds it funny because he begins to laugh. "What are you laughing about Potter?"

"I just thought what you said was funny. I can't really explain why." I think back to what I had said, it doesn't take me long what I said was a little funny. "See I told you." For the first time ever we are being nice to each other.

"Yeah well whatever. Didn't you come up here to think and not to talk to me?"

"Yeah. No wonder you don't have any real friends. The moment someone starts to be nice to you, you brush them off." He is right, but that was just how I've been raised. I've never seen my dad have a real friend, he has followers, and he has acquaintances, but no real friends. And since he doesn't need them I don't need them either. Am I a little envious of Potter? Sometimes, no use denying it.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Let me try. You want to be just like your dad, so you try to act just like him. You try to hang out with the same crowd he did when he was in school and you work to get the same grades he did, but in the end you're still a failure in his eyes because a muggle-born is doing better than you." I can't believe he got it right, well almost all right, yes I tried to emulate my father so he will recognize me as a worthy son, but I also want the respect that comes from being a Malfoy.

"How?" Is all I can come up with to say.

"My cousin is the same way." He sits down across from me; he doesn't even bother to ask me. "I'm not saying you're exactly like him, but you do share some of the same qualities that he does." He says. He has this far away look in his eyes.

'I take offence to that.' I think. "Your cousin is that fat lard that's always eating something right?" He nods, "don't ever compare me to that idiot."

"Then maybe you should change." I think about what he said for a moment. "You seem to be thinking about it."

"Not really. I was just thinking about how in the hell you can compare me to your stupid cousin." He sighs.

"I wasn't talking about mental capacity, I was talking about how you both are trying are trying to just like your fathers. What's the point? Why would you want to be like him? I know he was a follower of Voldemort, your father killed innocent people. Why would you want to be like him?"

"Just shut up, you wouldn't understand what it's like to be an heir to a multi-million dollar fortune. You're expected to live and act a certain way. I figured out quickly that to be considered good enough by my family I needed to be like my father, so I began to act just like he did when he was little, I hang out with same crowd, and I look for a woman like my mother to marry. Though that last bit I'm finding to be difficult." I say the last part absent-mindedly. He looks outside for a moment then back to me. I didn't really think about what I was saying before I said it. I wish I could take it back, but I think people would find it suspicious if the great Harry Potter was walking around with part of the his memory missing.

"You're right I don't know what it's like, and in truth I never want to know what it's like to have that kind of pressure on me, but at the same time I know what it's like when everyone expects perfection. With all the press that's on me every one in all of England is expecting me to be some perfect person without any flaws, but I know, and you know, that I am far from perfect, but then again, so are you." I hadn't ever realized how smart the boy could be when he was actually trying to be.

"It's still not the same."

"I know that. I'm just saying that I can imagine what it's like." A silence fall over us for the next couple of minutes.

"Why are you talking to me like this Potter?"

"I don't really know, but it feels right, doesn't it?" I think about it for a second, and can't help but slightly agree.

"I guess. But if anyone ever finds out we'll both be dead, you do know that right?"

"Yeah I know." He laughs a little. "You know you shouldn't let your parents dictate everything about your life. If they really love you then they would love you no matter what." I get up from where I'm sitting and begin to walk out I stop and look back.

"Whatever Potter." He doesn't retort, instead he just smiles at me.

That was the first time we had talked like that to each other. For some reason I felt better after words. I knew that we weren't friends, not even close, but at the time the only people that we had to talk to were each other. And for some reason it felt good to have someone to talk to, someone that wouldn't tell anyone what you had said and would also tell you what they thought without censoring themselves.