General Badaxe- Right second Naruto fic. I'll get right on it. Anyway, I want people to know a couple things before you start to read this fic. First thing, I don't care about reviews. If no one reviews, I will still update, if I get 100 reviews that say it sucks, I will still update. If you leave a flame, you know what; I don't really give a rat's ass. If you do leave one, it won't make me stop updating. Second thing, Naruto isn't retarded in my fics. I honestly think the guy is smarter than he lets on. He managed to learn Kage Bunshin in one afternoon, two hours at most. It is a jounin level technique, so I find it hard to think that he is a dumb ass. He also learned Ransegan in a short amount of time, something I find hard to believe unless he is smarter than he lets on. Third thing, I don't have the people in my fics yell out the moves they are using. What good ninja would yell out the technique they are using, giving their opponent a name so they can think of a counter quicker? That and yelling out the name of the move seems like it would give away your position. Fourth thing, don't expect to get too buddy-buddy with me. I'm not exactly the nicest guy around, and I really hate talking to people who I think are retarded, or think I am retarded. Another thing, this is me here. I have the name R.E.-Wolf as my pename because that is my brother. I am too lazy to get my own, so I use his. This is my fic, and my fic alone. Final thing, the disclaimer I write applies to all chapters after this. I hate writing one every chapter, and if I owned Naruto, why would I be writing a fan fiction in the first place? So, if you don't like any of that, get out.
Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. I said it; now don't bitch at me about it. If anyone is going to complain about the swearing, take in mind this is a rated M fic, it isn't exactly going to be about Naruto planting daisies is it?
I am having more nightmares recently. They started after the mission we had with the Wave country. Sasuke had died, well, I thought he had died. In remorse, I had taken some of his blood, and put in my mouth, a sort of offering to his grave, and knowledge had flooded through me. I knew all his fire jutsus, he had a huge list. He just didn't have the chakra to control them, so he didn't use them. I even felt different, I looked in a puddle right next to us, and I had a weird eye. It was the same eye Sasuke had during his fight with Haku.
However, a nightmare came with all for that: I witnessed the Uchiha Clan massacre. I saw Sasuke's brother, Itachi, as he used that 'Mengakyuo Sharingan' On Sasuke, and then I went into a strange place. I saw the Uchiha clan get massacred again and again. I think they were Sasuke's memories, but I didn't dare confront him about it. After all, I didn't want to believe that it happened, after all, I forgot all the fire jutsu's, and I saw my eye was back to normal later, but the nightmares remained.
I found it a little silly, I remembered the nightmares, but I forgot the fire jutsus. I probably would have laughed, except I was having the nightmares almost every night these days. They were slowly tearing me apart, I had to get out, and I couldn't stay. Konoha had become a nightmare to me; I saw the bodies of the Uchiha clan everywhere I went. This place was going to twist me inside out, and kill me. The scary part was that I wanted it to happen.
I sigh, standing up on the Hokage Mountain; I wonder about a couple experiences of my life. Tricking everyone and making them think I was a retard. Good times with Iruka-sensei. Pulling a prank on Kakashi-sensei before I truly got to know him. I enjoyed all of my memories here, well, the ones I like. I didn't really enjoy running from villagers who were drunk and trying to kill me, I could live without that. And now, I saw the Uchiha Clan massacre with my own eyes. Well, I think they were actually Sasuke's, but I still wonder about that. Why did I have those memories, how did I know all those fire jutsu's, what was that strange eye, and more importantly, how did I get all of that? I also want to know why I lost the eye and why I forgot the fire jutsu's. I forgot the hand seals, everything. Even now, I am having a tough time remembering the names of the moves, let alone performing them.
Should I leave Konoha? Not permanently of course, just long enough to straighten out my mind, and possibly learn a couple more techniques. I suppose that makes me a coward, leaving the place that is giving me nightmares, but I am not the bravest person in the world. Heck, anyone who thought I was brave really has to get their eyes checked. I refuse to give up, I know that much, but there is a difference between being brave, being stubborn, and being stupid. I tend to fall into the latter category.
To leave the village though, I would need the permission of Old-Man Hokage. If I did it any other way, I would have to be a fugitive, never allowed to return to Konoha again. I might be able to live without that, but I still wanted to be Hokage. Yeah I'm selfish. I want to leave, and return to be Hokage. But hey, I'm holding the world's most powerful demon inside of me, so I think I am allowed to be a little selfish. After all, no one even asked me if I wanted to be the container, they just forced it upon me.
However, learning I was the container shocked me. It told me why the villagers hated me, and so I didn't feel so bad about killing the two I did when I was six years old. They cornered me, they were drunk, and they had weapons. I grabbed the closest object, which happened to be a broken beer bottle one had chucked at me, and things went downhill from there. By the end of the scuffle, both were dead, and I had some minor katana cuts on me. They had healed by morning.
Well, I have some extra money, and Ichiraku is right over there. I might as well go get some ramen. I jump from the monument, and slide down the rock faces with my hands. I dug my legs into the rock as well, I didn't worry too much about the minor cuts, I would be ok by morning. I made it to the bottom, but I had released a little early, and landed a little hard on my butt. I would live, so I stood up and walked to Ichiruka. Sometimes, I think that I am the only one keeping this place going, until I see Ayame go deliver some ramen to someone, or see a couple others in the place. If I left, will this place go bankrupt? Probably not, they would find a way to survive.
I walk in and sit down, wondering if I should leave. "Hey, if it isn't our greatest customer, Ayame, a miso Ramen, lets go!" Old-man called.
"Hai!" I heard Ayame call from the back room.
"When you already know what I am going to order when I walk in, maybe I need to stop coming here as often." I said in a joking manner.
Old-Man clutched his heart in mock pain, and then said "Ayame! I need water. Trouble breathing, losing best customer, losing only source of income. Need water, must drink, must live!"
"Old-Man, don't you think you are taking it a little far this time?" I ask him, grinning.
"How could you say that Naruto! I was planning on living off of the retirement money I got from you, and here I find out that my best customer is leaving us!" He said in a melodramatic voice.
"You are starting to creep me out." I told him, rubbing the back of my head to reassure myself that he hasn't gone crazy.
Suddenly, some water went all over the Old-Man. "There you go!" Ayame said. "The water you wanted, and the ramen you wanted." She said, sliding the bowl to me.
"Thanks." I told her, and then I put my hands together. "Itedakimasu!" Then I ate. If there is one thing I can count on, it is that this ramen will always taste good. "Thanks, but I have to go. See you all later!" I said, running away while waving my hand at them.
Well, now that I have had something to eat, it should be easier to talk to Old-Man. Well, I hoped it would be easier. Anything I try to do is never easy, no matter what I do. Heck, take my supposed 'C' Rank mission just now. It turned out to be an 'A' Rank in disguise. Like I said, nothing in my life can ever be easy.
I rushed to the Hokage tower, and plowed through the doors. The two chuunin guarding the door yelled at me to stop, but, like every other time, I ignored them. Will they get the message that I just don't like to follow orders through their skull yet? Well, if they wanted to keep barking orders out, I could continue to ignore them. It wasn't that hard after all.
I barged into the Room where the Hokage was, and, almost like every other time I saw him, he was gazing into a crystal ball. "Naruto- I have been expecting you." He said, never taking his eyes off of the crystal ball.
"Could you at least look at me when you say that? It is just disturbing to have you stare at that thing and tell me 'you expected me' or something along those lines. You are the Hokage, not some cheap gypsy!" I told him.
He let off a dry chuckle, a testament to his old age. He may be old, but I wouldn't be that surprised if the guy lived to be one hundred and fifty years old, and then at the age he would run around the village, lapping the best runner. "Naruto, you are as brash as ever. Anyway, why have you come here? Are the villagers bothering you again?" He asked me, a smile in his eyes.
"Old-Man, you should know that I never complain about the villagers, not even when I should. So, I'm not about to start now. I need your permission for one thing, I want to leave Konoha." I told him. Glad it was off of my chest, I didn't feel like a living sweat machine.
Old-Man's face darkened. "Naruto, what do you mean 'Leave Konoha'?" He asked me, his voice a small simmer, but undoubtedly with a lot of anger behind it.
"Not permanently!" I told him hastily. "I just need some time to straighten some things out. I also want to go around and collect some techniques. I plan to return eventually."
"Naruto, how long is 'eventually'?" He asked me, eyeing me from under his little Hokage cap. It was a little scary with him eyeing me like that; it seemed as though he could look through me, and twist me inside out as he pleased. I wouldn't be surprised if he could right now.
"At most three years!" I told him hastily. Any amount of time, you could tell me a month, but if it would get you to stop looking at me like that, I would accept it. I wasn't going to tell him that of course.
"You realize that you would be leaving a genin team incomplete right?" He asked me.
Well, I hadn't thought of that. But, no one on the team has really done anything for me besides teach me how to walk up trees without my hands. A nice skill, but it didn't help me out that much. Well, I suppose I could beat squirrels in a race, but there had to be better skills than that.
"Old-Man, I am sure you can find someone to replace me. I did have the lowest scores on tests and everything, it's not like I was a valuable asset to the team, so it shouldn't be too hard to replace me." I told him.
He chuckled a little, and then told me "While that may be true, we both know you aren't really stupid don't we?" He said to me with a knowing smile.
"H-How? W-When?" I couldn't say any sentences. When did he learn? How did he know? I was sure I fooled everybody.
"Naruto, word of advice, I'm the Hokage for a reason. It isn't handed to me by my birth; it was given to me because I deserved it. Did you really think you could fool me?" He asked me.
"Considering I know a move that can take you out without me doing much, I actually thought I could." I told him.
"Well Naruto, let's not tell anyone about that little incident." He told me, a sheepish grin on his face, and a slight blush as well.
It is kind of hard for me to believe they let a pervert become the Hokage. But, what do I know about the council and the business they do? Nothing, that is what. "So Old-Man, are you going to let me go?" I ask him again.
"Naruto, I don't know. I will talk to the council, see what they think, and give you an answer tomorrow. How does that sound?" He told me.
Well, I wasn't going to get any better. That, and from what I understand, the council hates me. If they can get rid of me for a while, I'll bet they will take the chance. Freedom is almost in my grasp already. Well, I shouldn't say freedom; it should be more along the lines of adventure. Yeah, that sounds a lot better.
I left the Hokage tower, and then bounded onto the roof of a close by house/building. I didn't know which it was with all that was going on, but I didn't really care either. Great, now all I need is something to do for a day. It is only about twelve judging by the sun, and I couldn't really do anything interesting. Great, I have to wait till tomorrow to get anything interesting done.
Ok, I have a choice: I could either mope around all day wondering about the memories, and my amnesia of the good things I missed, or I could do something interesting and pull off a prank. Such a hard choice. Ok, so all I need is some mud, an ice cube tray, two olives, and a carrot. Mud will be easy, the ice cube tray shouldn't be a problem, olives might be a small problem, and finding a carrot, well, I'll find one somehow.
Ok, I'll try Ichiraku first; they should have one or two of the things I want. I walked over there, trying not to seem too suspicious. I got there without any hassles. I walked inside and saw Ayame at the counter. "Hey Ayame, do you have two olives, an ice cube tray, and a carrot I can use?"
"Naruto, what are you planning this time?" Ayame said to me, putting her hands on her hips. Wouldn't she like to know.
"Ayame, will you please let me use some stuff?" I ask her, getting on my knees, clasping my hands together, and bowing my head.
"All right, all right, I'll get your stuff. Father, we need an ice cube tray, two olives, and a carrot!" She called to the back.
"Did Naruto ask for the stuff?" He called to the front room.
"Yeah he did." Ayame called back to him.
"All right, give me a second to look around the kitchen." He said, and then rummaging could be heard. Being their best customer, they supply me with stuff sometimes. Ok, almost all the time, there had to be perks with visiting this place almost every day.
Old-Man came to the front with an ice cube tray, and two olives. I didn't see a carrot though. "Naruto, I'm sorry but we don't have a carrot you can use." He said to me, handing me the stuff.
"Thanks Old-Man!" I told him in a cheerful voice, taking the stuff in my arms. I turn around, but then the Old-man called to me.
"Hey Naruto, I don't know what you are planning, or what you are going to do with all that stuff. I'm also telling you that I don't want to know. But I want to tell you one thing: Don't get arrested." He said to me, and then he walked back into the kitchen.
It was nice to know that they cared about me, but I would probably be ok. Well, I knew I wouldn't get arrested, probably a severe scolding, but never arrested. But, in the off chance that I do get arrested, I would spread the rumor around the prison that I killed someone with the power of the demon inside of me. That would get the others to leave me alone.
I also had to figure out why people were more scared of dieing from the hands of a demon than another person. After all, dead is dead and nothing can bring you back. So, why did people care abut the way that they died? Well, I would prefer a quick death over a painful one. Plus, why do people think they are immortal? Death isn't a quick thing; we advance toward it slowly as we age. In essence, we die a little more each day. A little scary to think about, but it is true nonetheless.
Anyway, now that I have had a dreary thought, back to my prank. I need a carrot. Where am I going to get a carrot? Well I could go ask random people, but that would lead to some strange question and answer scenario. So, I could root though dumpsters. Not the best thing in the world I know, but I could always tell people that I accidentally threw away a coupon for some free ramen at Ichiruka, and I am currently searching for it. Yeah, that would work.
I walk down the street, and turn left at the crossroads in Konoha. A trash can, a good reliable trash can. Ok, when I am looking for a reliable trash can, is it ok to say I'm a little nut? Just checking. Well, the trash can over there is as good as any. I walk over to the trash can, and start to rummage through it. Half eaten bread, rotten fruit, some vegetables, beer bottles, a drunk mans teeth, a toaster, giant toothbrush, beheaded chicken, and a larger than normal pair of underwear. But no carrot.
Geez, maybe I should use the giant toothbrush. But, then it would seem a little…stupid for my tastes. All right, the entire thing is stupid in the first place, but it is a way to pass the time. I'm bored, so sue me. Right, back to finding a carrot. Let's see, the dumpster over there looks like it might have something good in it. Let's see, a Popsicle stick, broken kitchen knives, the handle of a frying pan, said frying pan, a wok, some broken eggs, a couple cabbages, a leash, and some shuriken. Hey! These shuriken are still good, and I think they are in better condition than the people at the stores give me! Than again, when they give me a price twice the amount they give other ninjas, it is really hard for me to get good grade shuriken.
I scoop up the shuriken; I'll have to clean them off later. "Rummaging through trash cans dobe?" I heard an arrogant voice say behind me. Well, that is one way to pass the time.
"Shut up Sasuke-teme!" I shouted at him.
"What are you doing going through the trash cans?" Sasuke asks me, a bored looking expression on his face.
"You see Sasuke; I accidentally threw away my coupon for free ramen, so I am looking for it." I told him, going through another garbage can. Damn it, still nothing good.
"Naruto, wouldn't it make sense for you to check the dumpsters by your house then?" Sasuke asked me.
I hadn't though about that. Didn't I throw a carrot out this morning? "Thanks Sasuke-teme!" I said to him, and go racing for my apartment. Well, that was one of the few moments I didn't care the guy thought he was better than me.
I race back to my apartment, and then I stopped for a second. Damn, no sonic boom. I really need to get faster to create one of those. It serves no real purpose; I just like the thought of making one. After all, nothing like running by a bunch of people, and then making them wonder where the Hell the wind came from. What, what did you think I wanted to create one for?
Now, since I am back at my apartment, I need to find the carrot I threw away. Memo to self, I need to clean this place up. Geez, I have scattered ramen noodle cups everywhere, I have a pizza box, a couple cheeseburger wrappers, my pants are over a chair, at least I took care of my jackets, they are hung up neatly. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was ranting about my messy room. The stove has grease all over it; my fruit bowl is now crawling with ants, memo to self: throw the fruit out, I have another crack in the wall, punched it too hard when I got pissed. Forgot why I was pissed though.
I have to clean up where I sleep, my clothes need washed, the garbage needs taken out; I have a bowl of vegetables, memo to self: throw those out; I have a stupid broomstick leaning against the door. Why do I even have one of those? I don't use it! I also have a mop, but I don't see the point in it. Those stupid bills are starting to get annoying. Some of them seem a little ridiculous to me as well. My phone bill is 129$, but I don't even own a damn phone! I swear, I was going to find out where they got these numbers, and in some cases, where I got the bills, not mentioning my lack of phone or anything.
Anyway, I think I am done ranting. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was getting a carrot. Lets see, there it is! Top item on the garbage can. All right, now, where does the Hokage live again? Let's see, go past the Uchiha sector about three blocks, turn right when you see a mailbox that looks like a turtle. I also had to get all the stuff there, and complete the thing after he got home, while he was asleep. Well, I suppose I could go around the town and talk to everyone. Yeah, that seems the best option right about now.
I walk out the door, and hop over the edge of the railing. I threw my hands out and grabbed the pole on the way down, and use the momentum to swing forward. I let go at the peak of my height, and flew through the air. I did a back flip, and straightened myself in the air. I landed on a branch of a tree near my apartment. I looked over the land, and realized it was later than I thought it was. The sun was setting, and this was a nice view. However, I knew of a better view: On top of the Hokage Mountain. However, seeing the orange, red, pink, and blue colors collide in the air always left me a little breathless. It was a beautiful sight, and it didn't cost me a yen to see. Truly, some of the best things in the world are free.
However, I'm done looking at the setting sun; I'm going to town now. I'll pull my prank off in the middle of the night. Until then, I let off a grin; it was time for some fun. I jump off of the tree onto the closest building, and run across it. I jump onto the next building, and I roll into a standing up position and continue running without breaking my stride. It was fun to do this, but I had to find someone. It was boring not being able to annoy one of them, their reactions were always funny.
Wait, who is that I spy down there? Is that Sakura? Fun time! Well, I suppose it could be someone who dyed their hair pink, but I seriously doubt it. "Hey Sakura-chan!" I yell from the rooftops.
She stopped, and looked up with a bewildered look. "Naruto?" She said in more of a question than actually saying my name.
"Well, isn't that a nice way to treat your teammate?" I said, jumping down from the roof. "You can't even tell it is me, when I am the only one who calls you Sakura-chan? You really hurt my pride you know." I told her, with my favorite grin on my face.
"Naruto, what are you doing here?" Sakura told me in a flat voice. You know, I used to think it was a smart thing to pretend to have a crush on her. Nowadays, I am wondering what I was thinking. I think one of the villagers slipped something into my drink, trying to get me to do something really stupid like walk alone down an alley.
"Sakura-chan, I am only saying 'hi.' What, is it now illegal to say hi to someone you know?" I ask her in a serious/ scared voice.
Sakura just stared at me, and then slapped her forehead. "Sakura, you don't tell Naruto things like that. He might actually do something even stupider than normal if you do." Sakura muttered to herself. I barely made out the words, but I knew what she said.
"I love you too." I mutter under my breathe in a sarcastic tone.
"You say something Naruto?" Sakura asked me.
"Nothing!" I said a little too quickly for my liking.
Sakura eyed me suspiciously, and then sighed. "Well Naruto, since you are here, what do you want?"
Well, time to give my standard question, and get shot down. Yeah, my life was a little too predictable. "Sakura-chan, do you want to go out later?" I ask her, in as serious of a voice as I can muster.
Sakura puts her head in her hands, and then asks "Naruto, how many times have you asked me that question?"
I have asked you about 1,465 times. "I have no idea Sakura-chan. A lot, I know that much."
"Naruto, what has been the answer every single time?" She asks me, her hands still cupping her head.
Let's see, the most common answer is no, Hell no, Burn in Hell Naruto, come any closer and I will punch you, get away from me, I need to file a restraining order, and, my personal favorite, do you want your nuts ripped off and shoved down your throat? "You usually say 'No' Sakura-chan." I said to her.
"So, what tells you that this will be any different than normal?" She asks, her head still being clasped.
Nothing does. Well, I had better come up with a stupid answer. Well, I could do a classic I suppose. "It is a new day, so I thought I had a chance!" I said, bouncing with energy.
"Naruto…" Sakura said, her head lifting from her hands.
"Yes Sakura-chan? Is something wrong?" I asked her. This should be good.
"Do you want your nuts ripped off and shoved down your throat?" She asked me in a serious voice.
"Um, no, can't say I do." I told her.
"Well, there is my answer." She said in a flat voice.
"So, if I said yes to that question, you would go out with me?" I asked her in a hyperactive voice. Ok, now I had better prepare to run.
"NARUTO!" Sakura yelled at me, pulling a kunai from her pouch. Ok, she was getting a little more serious than usual. Well, she had never pulled a kunai out on me before.
"S-Sakura-chan, what are you doing?" I ask her, my voice a little shaken. Truth be told, I was a little shaken. I usually only have to worry about her fist. Ok, maybe taunting Sakura wasn't the smartest thing to do today.
"Naruto, you have three seconds to get out of here before I use this thing." Sakura said to me, holding the kunai in a menacing manner.
Even when I am acting stupid, I wouldn't be dumb enough to stick around. At least, I don't think I would be. "See you later Sakura-chan!" I called out in a hurried voice, and then I took off down the street.
All right, it may look like I am running away at top speed from nothing, and truth be told, I was. However, it is better than pissing off Sakura when she has a kunai. When she wants to, she can throw those things with even more accuracy than an expert bowman hitting a target fifty feet away.
All right, I think I am far enough away that she won't kill me. Now, all I need to do is catch my breathe. Dear God, why do these things happen to me when I am leaving? Only one thing could make this day worse… "Yo." Kakashi-sensei said, appearing right next to me in a cloud of smoke.
I swear, one of these times he is going to do that, ay his little 'yo' and then I will hand him a yo-yo, and say "Here you go!" However, I don't exactly have a yo-yo, so it might be a while. "Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?" I ask him, a little curious. Shouldn't you be off lost on the road of life or something?
"Well Naruto, I thought I would check up on my cute little students." Kakashi-sensei said, his nose buried in his book.
"Kakashi-sensei, out of curiosity, what would happen if someone burned your book?" I asked him. He travels with that thing everywhere, you would think it was bearing his child or something
Kakashi-sensei disappeared, and appeared in front of me, glaring at me menacingly with his one eye. That made it more frightening actually. "That won't happen will it Naruto?" He asked me in a voice that told me I had better pick the right answer.
"Of course not, let's just say hypothetically." I tell him, starting to form sweat on my fore head. I may be smarter than I let on, but Kakashi-sensei could probably still beat me with one arm. If I was lucky, I had improved enough to get him to use both.
Kakashi-sensei put his book away, and then said "Well Naruto, I would probably take whoever burned my book, take them to a forest, tie them down, and the cut them all over the body so that the animals in the forest could smell him. He would see as the animals tore him apart, well, until scavengers ripped his eyes out."
Ok, don't burn the book. I was entertaining the idea, but that death sounds a little too painful for my liking. "Well, Kakashi-sensei, do you want to train me?" I ask him. I could actually learn a thing or two from you still. Or, you could at least give me a tough training session.
"Sorry Naruto, you know I am horrible at teaching people how to fight." Kakashi-sensei told me, pulling out that stupid book of his. I swear if I ever felt like having a horrible twisted death, I was going to burn that book. Get one good thing out of my death.
"Could you at least give me a good training schedule?" I ask him. I was willing to accept leftovers at this point.
"Naruto, I'm not that good at training people. Trust me; it wouldn't be a good thing if I trained you." Kakashi-sensei said putting his nose into his book again.
"I said a training schedule!" I yelled into his ears. Good points to acting stupid, people usually don't yell at you for violating their personal space.
"Naruto, my training schedule would be a little too rigorous for you." Kakashi-sensei told me, never looking up from his book.
"Well, lay it on me! It's not like I can't try at least!" I told him, in a peppy excited voice.
"Very Well Naruto, get a piece of paper, and a pen, and meet me back here." Kakashi-sense told me.
Finally, I was getting somewhere with the guy! Now, all I have to do is find some paper and something to write with. Aha! There we go, someone threw this perfectly good piece of paper on the ground, and someone dropped a pen near it! Looks like I might get something good out of today! I rush back to where Kakashi-sensei is, only to find out he was gone. I scanned the area, but I didn't see him anywhere. That bastard, I really had to find out how he disappeared. It would come in so handy with the kind of life I had.
Well, it was pretty dark outside right now, so I might be able to pull off my prank. I would have preferred a training schedule, but the prank will have to do for now. Ok, time to get to my apartment. I dash off, and go straight to my apartment. Passed a couple drunks, one threw some ice cream at me. Don't know why he did, but it sure tasted good! So, I wasn't going to be mad at him. At least, I wouldn't be mad at him today. After all, free food was hard for me to come by.
Ok, now I was back at my apartment. Wait, I have mail? KUSO! The only mail I get are bills. Wait, I just got my bills yesterday, why would I be getting more today? What! My phone bill is 153$! I just got a phone bill yesterday! What am I talking about; I don't even own a phone! That's it; I'm quitting paying my phone bill. I plan to leave Konoha soon, and I don't see the point in paying my phone bill. What are they going to do? Turn off my phone? Somehow, I get a feeling I would lose my electricity. It wouldn't be the first time. Not paying your credit card bills, I don't own any of those either, somehow got my heating turned off.
Anyway, back to the prank. Let's see, I have the two olives, the ice cube tray, and a carrot. Mud will be easy to get. I only need to add water to dirt. Time to get to work…
(Time Skip. I don't want to explain the details, it would take too long. I'm lazy, leave me alone.)
Ah, I can't wait till tomorrow morning. I need to be near the Hokage's house before he wakes up, shouldn't be a problem. I always have energy to spare when I go to bed. Well, time to hit the sack. I pull off my clothes, and change into my pajamas. Why did I get a sleeping cap that looks like it was eating me again? Oh yeah, I won it in a bet against Kiba. So, I might as well use it. I fall onto my bed, well, futon, and then I go into a sleep about the Uchihas in the street just keeling over and dieing at random times. However, the people only looked at it as though it was a natural occurrence.
Ah, good morning! Well, it might be better if my futon wasn't soaked with sweat. Damn nightmares are starting to get worse and worse. I swear Sasuke, if I find out your blood is cursed, I am going to rip your skull out and beat you to death with it! It sounds impossible, I know, but I will find a way to do it. Oh yeah! I had to get to Old-Man's house immediately!
Let's see, I brushed my teeth, took a shower, have clean underwear on. What am I missing? Oh yeah, I need my forehead protector. Duh, how could I forget that! Sometimes, I think I could get a couple more I.Q. points than I already have. Well, if I actually felt like it. I'm lazy like Shikamaru, but in my own way. Speaking of Pineapple head, I wonder how he is doing.
Well, I'll talk to him later. Ok, now I just have to make it to the Hokage's house before he wakes up. Easy enough. I dash out of my apartment, making special care to make sure it is locked, and the windows are shut and locked. Every time I leave it unlocked, someone steals some of my stuff. Heck, one moron even stole my jar of peanut butter. I don't know why he did, I had money right next to the jar, but the idiot decided to steal the peanut butter. I was going to have to work on getting smarter enemies so that they provide at least a small challenge.
Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, I have to make it to the Old-Man's house. Lets go! I take off dashing over the railing but apparently, someone removed the pole I usually grab on my free fall. Great, guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way. I charged some chakra to the bottom of my feet, and stuck to the wall of the building I was living in. Yeah, it was dull compared to how I usually got down, and I think they got rid of the pole to annoy me. It was working a little.
Well, I jump off into the tree I usually do. It was nice to know they didn't cut that down. I jumped off, and ran all the way to the Hokage's house. I peeked inside his window. He was still asleep. The mud I had used, I noticed, had hardened. I heard some stirring inside the building, and heard some foot steps going to his window. Here it comes…
He opened his window blinds, and staring him in the face, was a giant mud man. It had two olives for eyes, a carrot for a nose, and ice cube tray for a mouth, and a couple sticks pointing at him in a menacing manner. He did the natural thing, he screamed. "WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS!" He screamed in a panicked voice, until he realized it wasn't real. He had to get rid of the fire ball in his hand though.
"Naruto, I know you are out there. You are the only guy who would even consider pulling a prank on the Hokage, let alone pulling one off." He said in an angry tone.
Yeah, like I was going to come out. I had a hard enough time from breaking out laughing; it was even funnier when he formed a fireball in his hands. I didn't think he would take it that seriously! "Naruto, either get out here now, or I will forbid you from leaving Konoha ever again." He said in a dead serious voice.
My breathe caught. He had to be joking right? "You have till the count of three." He said, raising a fist. One finger shot up, and he said "One." Then a couple second later, he raised a second finger, and said "Two" He waited a little longer than last time, and began to raise his third finger.
"HOLD ON!" I yelled at him. "I'm right here!" I waved my hands to show him where I was.
"Naruto, why did you do this?" He asked me in a serious voice.
"I was bored! What did you expect me to do while I waited for an answer? Sit around patiently like a good little boy? Yeah right, you of all people should know me better than that." I told him.
"Naruto you do know that this can be considered a grievous offence to do this to a Hokage right?" He asked me in a disbelieving voice.
"What's your point?" I ask him, standing on my toes. Will he just give me an answer already!
"Never mind Naruto." Old-Man said, clutching his forehead. That seems to be a popular reaction to me these days. "Anyways, I suppose you want to know the answer to your question, am I right?" He asked me, taking his hand away from his forehead.
"Yeah I do!" I yelled up at him. He grinned.
"Are you sure you want to know Naruto?" He asked me in a jovial manner.
"Yes I'm sure!" I yelled up at him, excitement coursing through me.
"Are you positive you want to know?" He asked me again. He had a wide grin on his face.
All right, now I think he is just playing with me. I pull out a kunai, and throw it so that it cuts off a small piece of his hair, but misses him completely. "Just give me the damn answer!" I yell out at him. Sometimes, you need a more direct approach than usual.
"All right, just calm down Naruto!" The Hokage said, scratching his head where the kunai had cut his hair. "They said you could leave, but only for a maximum of three years. If you aren't here by your sixteenth birthday, they are going to declare you a nuke-nin. Do you got that!" He bellowed that last part to me.
"Suppose I die?" I yell at him.
"Then I want to see a corpse!" The Hokage yelled down to me. "Unless I see a corpse, I won't believe you of all people are dead. And even if I do see a corpse, I would think there is a fifty percent chance that you are still alive."
Wow, the guy had a lot more confidence in me than I thought. "Ok, but when am I allowed to leave?" I ask him.
"You can leave today if you want, but only after you get rid of this thing!" The Hokage said, indicating the mud man I had made for him.
"You really want to get rid of it?" I ask him, mocking losing my heart. "I spent hour after hour slaving away fro you, and this is how you repay me!" I said, trying to from tears in my eyes. I didn't get any tears though; too busy trying not to laugh.
"Naruto, stop being melodramatic and clean up this mess! I'm going to my office, and if this thing isn't gone by the time I get back, I am going to hunt you down wherever you are, and force you to read Kakashi's book, do I make myself clear!" He yelled down to me.
"Crystal." I told him. He wanted it gone by the time he got back? Fine, I can do that. I watched as he walked away from his house, after he freshened up of course, and then went to his office. When I saw he was far enough away, I got to work. Only took me thirty seconds. Okay, I put a henge on it to make it look like the land around his house, with the middle and top looking like a background. It would be gone when he got back, but it would be back in the morning.
Okay, so all I have to do now is get some stuff together, and leave for a while. Shouldn't be too hard. No one would really miss me; after all, it isn't like anyone really likes me or anything! A couple people tolerate me, but that is only because they have to. Mainly my own team of course. However, when one of them is busy reading a book, another one is plotting revenge, and the other one will more than likely beat you down before anything else, I can't really say I will miss them.
Ok, so I got some stuff from my apartment. Mainly, I got all my money, some extra clothes, some food, travel kind of course. I also packed some tooth paste, some floss, toothbrush, and some soap. You never know when something unfortunate will happen to you along the road, so I might have to take a bath at some point during my travels.
Now, it is off to the main gate. Well, the North one at least. I planned to go East, but if I leave from the North gate, people might think I am going to a different country. Should throw off any pursuit by normal people. Mainly, drunks who don't want to leave me alone.
Ok, so I made it to the main gate. Wait, what am I thinking? Was I expecting some kind of ambush or something? I really have to stop being paranoid. "N-Naruto-kun?" I heard a shy timid voice behind me.
Well, there was only one girl I knew who was timid around me, and the only girl I know who hasn't tried to hurt me. Well, net yet anyways. "Hinata! What are you doing here?" I ask her a little surprised.
"W-Well N-Naruto-kun, I heard a strange rumor." She said, poking two of her fingers together. I swear, she only acts like this around me. I really have to ask her about her strange behavior.
"What kind of rumor have you heard so far?" I asked her. Did my prank on the Hokage get out already? That was faster than usual.
"N-Naruto-kun, is it true you are leaving Konoha?" She asked me, and then she looked away from me.
"Yeah, I'm leaving Konoha. I have permission from the Hokage after all." I told her, giving a grin to her.
Her face turned a little red from my grin, but other than that, she seemed ok. "But…Why are you leaving Konoha?" She asked me.
Well, I never expected her to ask that question. "Well Hinata, it is…it is for personal reasons." I told her, thinking about my recent memories.
"Naruto-kun, won't you consider staying?" She asked me, trying hard to look me in the face, but failing. She really had some confidence issues to work on. That and I hear her father calls her weak all the time. Probably doesn't help her confidence either.
"Hinata, I plan on leaving, and that is final. Nothing you say or do will stop me." I told her in a serious voice. Well, that should get her to leave me alone.
"W-W-Well Naruto-kun, can I come with you?" She asked me, growing even redder in the face.
Where had that come from? Well, I wasn't going to take her, so it doesn't really matter. "Hinata, you aren't coming with me. You would need permission from the Hokage, and your father. You might get permission from the Hokage, but your father would forbid it. You know that as well as I do." I told her.
"What if I don't ask them, and just leave with you?" She asks me.
Well, I think that was the first time that she told me a sentence without stuttering. However, she isn't coming with me, and that is final. "Hinata, I'm not taking you with me. That is final." I told her, in another serious voice.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I'M GOING!" Hinata screamed at me.
Where had that sudden outburst come from? It was also the first time I had heard her raise her voice to me. She really wants to come with me, so I only had one choice: I had to break her spirit. It was nice to know that she had developed one, and that she was going to get a back bone soon. I feel like a complete dick since I have to break that spirit though. "Hinata, you can't come with me, you are too weak." I told her in a firm voice.
"Weak?" Hinata asked me in the form of a question.
"Yes weak." I told her. God, I feel like something that should be hung by a rope. "You don't have nearly my stamina, you can't possibly beat me in a fight, you are too shy, and you probably couldn't kill someone if you had to."
"Do you really think all that about me?" Hinata asked in an unsure voice.
No I don't. "Yes. You want to come with me? Do it when you are someone who is actually strong in this village. Show me you can be strong, and I would take you with me, but that isn't happening is it? You haven't really gained any strength, if anything; you seemed to have weakened at the academy. You try to make friends, and you were successful. However, you seem to rely on them for protection instead of using your own strength. What is stopping you from being a burden to me?" I asked her. Damn, I know I have to do this for her, but that doesn't stop me from hating myself because of it.
"Naruto-kun…" She said my name as though I was some sort of bond, keeping her from falling apart.
"Hinata, just Naruto. No suffix, no nothing. At the rate you are going, you will never amount to anything. Maybe you should just go back to the academy, and make some friends to help you through your harsh times. However, you will always need friends, never able to rely on yourself for strength. Good bye." I said to her, and then I ran down the road.
I heard Hinata begin to cry, and I knew I had broken her spirit. I felt like an ass, that much was true. However, this is something I have to do alone. I just hope Hinata can eventually forgive me.
General Badaxe- Before any Hinata fans chew my head off, I felt a little bad about writing that last part. Look, I am a NaruXHina fan myself, so give me some credit alright? Anyway, the next chapters should be longer, this was only the introduction. Usually my chapters are at least 10,000 words. Anyway, tell me what you think I can improve, and see you all some other time.
P.S.-I would like to thank Specula for helping me with my grammatical and spelling errors. However, my brother deleted your e-mail before I got a chance to read it, so I don't exactly know what is says. So, I went over the chapter again, and improved as many things as I could. Hope it is enough. And Specula, If my document was a problem when i p.m.ed you, you will need to tell me your E-mail address.