Chapter 1: Dreams

AN: hello fine fanfictioners! This is my very first jean and macro fanfiction! Please don't hate on me! The daughter's nickname is pronounced like Emma. Wish me luck on this one! Please review and follow. I do not own attack on titan nor its characters! I do however own the plot of this story and my oc's which I love! So enjoy this fanfic!

Lightling lit up the stormy morning followed by a huge roar of thunder that woke jean up in a fright. He cursed out loud as he ran his hand through his two toned light brown hair. He began to feel something down his cheeks. Tears.

"Not again." He sighed as he tried to wipe the tears away but more kept coming down. Jean hated sleeping; he hated the dreams he would have especially those of "him". Those nightmares caused him so much pain and sorrow but deep within his heart it brought him happiness to see his existence. But this nightmare felt almost real. For the first time he could see his face! His handsome freckled face and the feel of his embrace were so real and the warmth of his smile could melt an iceberg. It was too real to be a dream but it was. Jean was so close; he saw his mouth began to move but no words came out and tears began to fall. Soon the only words he could make out were goodbye.

Jean gripped his light blue sheets and took a deep breath. He looked at the time. 9:45. Jean groaned as he forced himself out of his bed. The brunette began to walk to the room left of him. He slightly opened the door to see his daughter Amethyst sound asleep. Suddenly he saw movement and a head full of dark brown hair popped up from the small lavender bed.

"Daddies 'ean it ran!" Amethyst said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.

"Ya Ame it's raining. Did the thunder and lightning wake ya up?" Jean asked making is way to the small lavender bed. Amethyst answered with a nod.

"Daddie 'ean wha we have for breakfas?" the little one asked. Jean sat down on the bed and put amethyst who wore lavender pj bottoms; in his lap. Her head on his chest. His jean chin's on her messy hair.

"I don't know Ame… I don't know…" jean looked around the room an observed it. The room was mostly filled with princess poster; mostly Repunzel, Mulan, and Tina scattered all over the wall including some drawing she did in class and at home. Pink, purple and brown stuffed animals huddled over the; left corner. A sign that read Amethyst room in messy purple writing hung on the door and leaning against the wall seems like twenty toy swords. A grin came upon his face. He remembered when he was little he used to play with swords and pretend to be a knight in shining armor but his friends would call him the horse face and say he would be the horse that the knight would ride on. A chuckle came from him; making those Marvelous hazel eyes fill with curiosity.

"Wha's funnies Daddie 'ean?" Amethyst asked.

"Huh? Nothing Ame just remembering things?" jean explained. An oh was given and silence fell on then.

"Hey Ame, ya wanna watch a movie to make the time pass?"Amethyst eyes soon lit up.

"Mulan! I wanna see Mulan! Plea Daddie 'ean?" she pleaded. Jean looked deep within those big Hazel eyes and smirk.

"Sure Ame ya know how to the movie in." jean said as he watched her jump out the room and run out the room to her left. Giggles and songs filled the air. After two minutes of waiting Amethyst came back with a smile.

"Daddie 'ean! Daddie 'ean! It on! Mulan is on!" she cheered running to her father and pulling him off the bed and leading to the living room. Jean sat on right the cream colored loveseat while Amethyst left side and they began to watch Mulan on the flat screen in front of them….

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After 30 minutes of singing Amethyst soon fell asleep and the rain stopped. Jean looked down at the little girl whose head was now on his leg. He smiled and ran his messy dark brown hair.

"Hey Ame daddy is gonna go to the store. Will it be ok if ya spend a little time over Uncle Armin's?" Jean asked. Amethyst who was Now half awake gave a slurry 'yes' and went back to sleep. He slowly picked up the little ones head and laid it gently back on the loveseat. He began to head back to his room which was the room at the end of the hallway. His room was messy but not as messy as Eren's. Jean decided that it won't be much of a big deal on what to wear since he was going to the store. He but on a dark blue short- sleeved T-shirt which read Awesome on it in big red Letters, black khaki pant with black Nike shoes and headed to the front to grab his keys and go.

"Alright! I'm ready to go!" Jean said to himself before picking his daughter and heading out the door. Jean looked the door and headed downstairs to his friend apartment. Armin's apartment was the first apartment downstairs right across from his home. Jean knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a gentle voice was heard.

"Yo it's me Jean!" the brunette answered as the door opened to see a small blond man standing in light blue Pj's with a smile on his face.

"Hey Jean! You came to drop off Amethyst?" Armin asked taking Amethyst out of jean hands and into his.

"Yeah I have to go shopping for food ya know the usual… Do ya still have her stuff?" jean replied.

"Of course! It's still in the guest room." Armin Responded.

"Alright imma head out tell hot head I said hey."

"I will! Bye Jean!" Armin waved goodbye as he closed the door. Jean began to walk out of the apartment development. Jean began to think about Amethyst; he always did. He remember the time He was in the hospital room with Rae; Amethyst mom. He remembered how it felt to hold the buddle of joy. Everybody cheered and celebrated and wished him luck as a father while he began to panic. He wasn't ready for this; he didn't want to be a father now. Not now. He wasn't ready to give up on everything just so this baby could be happy so he left the day after Amethyst was born. Sure, he felt guilty leaving his baby and his love of his life but he was free to do what he wanted! No worry about the baby or any drama just him being free. When he got to school he avoided her. Ignored her calls, emails, everything involving her and the baby. But soon his guilt grew and grew until one Rainy Monday; Rae's Mom came to his door one night. Her eyes were red and she was carrying something. She had told her that since jean left her she went into a deep depression; she tried to take anti-depression but she began to get addicted to it and dropped out of school; since she didn't have money to take care of Amethyst so she began to work the corner. Rae's mom said she confronted her about this and Rae said that "why the hell not? I'm only good for having sex and making babies anyway" that burned deep within his hear when he thought about that. But he wondered why she was telling him all this. She soon gave Amethyst to him and said that Rae committed suicide because she could take the pain of you leaving her and having to take care of Amethyst. That night, his heart busted into sadness. He thought only if I didn't leave; none of this wouldn't have happen. Amethyst was only 3 at the time but every time she would ask where mommies is; jean told her that she left to go to the Amazon to observe the animals and enjoy the rain; Amethyst believed it. Believed that lie only to know that will hurt in the future but he promised that he would treat her right! Never leave her side and love and take care of her! He promised on his very soul. The day after Amethyst was handed to him he began to have dreams of him… Jean was thinking too hard to notice that he turned into a small park. It was pretty; the grass was wet with rain and the pond was full of water. There was a small swing set and everything. Jean suddenly bumped into something.

"Ah! I'm sorry" the voice said as he walked by. Jean looked up at the face and froze. It was the face. The face he dreamed about. His heart beat quicken, his eyes widen in surprised. He watched the guy walk away. Jean tired to move but couldn't he was too in shock to move. Tears began to roll down his eyes. The guy began to get further and further away from him. More tears rolled down! Please move! I can't let him get away from me! Jean mentally screamed. Suddenly his feet began to move. Jean started to run; he was so desperate he wanted to make sure he was real, that he wasn't hallucinating. He began to catch up with the male.

"Hey!" Jean called out as the person turned around. His heart started to beat more. Please be real! He mentally begged as he ran up to him and hugged him. His embrace was real, all of the weight on his shoulders melted off. "Finally I found you... finally... I can feel you..." Jean balled. The guy he had dreamed about for almost 2 years now was real and in his arms! He wasn't a hallucination! He was real. Jean hugged him tighter.

"U-um... How are you?" the freckled man asked. Jean just hugged him tighter and balled harder.

"Please... Please don't disappear… don't say goodbye." Jean voice came out as a sorrowful cry.

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Hey guys! Did you enjoy my fanfiction? I know I did! Thank you for reading! Please look forward for the next chapter! Please review, follow, and favorite!

A good song that made me get the ending was Ichiban No Takaramono- Angels beats! (Yui Final)

~ShoujoNightmare.