((warning, this fic contains spoilers for the episode Raising The Barn and beyond, so go watch the episodes after Raising the Barn, before reading this so you can get a better understanding of whats happening!))

Peridot laid there. Numb. Her mind was filled with questions, mindless questions that serve no purpose in answering. The truth hung above her like a raincloud that didn't go away. She had to accept the truth as it was, no matter how hard she wanted not to.

Lapis was gone.

She wasn't coming back.

She blinked tiredly and glanced up at the bathroom door, hoping, praying that Lapis would come in. Hoping that all of this was just a nightmare and that she'll wake up eventually. But, she never came and Peridot could only stare ahead, clinging onto the false hope that she was in fact coming.

Maybe she was? Maybe she came back while Peridot was asleep, dropped the barn off and went off to find her? Maybe she was on her way here right now and tell her how sorry she was and that she will never do such a thing like that ever again. She hoped, nearly prayed that her best friend wasn't gone. Peridot bit her lip and turned away from the door in defeat.

She wasn't coming back. No matter how hard Peridot tried to wake up from this nightmare, Lapis Lazuli was gone.

Peridot wondered. How far away was she? Was she at Homeworld? Was she in the outer reaches of space? Was she telling Homeworld about her and the gems? About Steven..? Was she a traitor? She shook her head.

No...

She wouldn't do that!

Would she...?

Is Yellow Diamond coming for me...?

Will I be shattered?

Dull questions. No answers, well, maybe..? Her head hurt. Peridot couldn't think straight. All she thought of was the fact her home was gone, that Lapis just took everything and left. Her meep-morps, her alien, her first bubbled gem... All of it was gone. It was like everything she ever worked crashed down on her. And she didn't want to get up. Lapis couldn't be gone. Yet, she was. Even in this bathroom, it gave her pain. She remembered showing Lapis how the toilet worked here, showing her around the beach house, teaching her about the technologies of Earth... So many memories now shattered. It hurt her. It hurt her more then words can say.

She heard a sad bark and Pumpkin poked her head up, staring at Peridot in worry. Peridot only glanced at her, her eyes hollow.

"Hey Pumpkin..."

Pumpkin jumped in the bathtub and whined softly.

"Lapis is gone now, Pumpkin... She's never coming back." Peridot forced out, her throat feeling dry.

She can't be gone.

This is all just a nightmare.

She is actually here on Earth, looking for me.

She didn't leave.

Pumpkin only whined again and snuggled up next to Peridot's side. Peridot gently patted her friend, the only friend she has in this world now.

"Don't worry... Lapis will be back." She said.

Pumpkin glanced at her, her eyes wide with anticipation.

"She'll be back..."