Bella sat as still as a statue, gripping the arms of the chair tightly. Focusing on trying not to break through the fabric or crack the wood helped her control her other urges. She fought to entertain her mind with her tight grip, engrossing herself with offsetting her strength just right, but soon she'd gotten the right balance and her mind let the task drift backwards, unimportant, allowing other things to dominate her thoughts.
Just sitting still was too easy, so to divert herself she practiced bouncing her leg like some humans did. At first the motion was too stiff, jerking and fast, and she practiced making the motion slow and smooth. When she'd gotten that right, she let go of the arms of her chair and clasped her hands in her lap, watching as they jostled up and down to the rhythm of her leg. She tried other rhythms. She bounced both legs, alternately, together, discordantly, synchronized.
The rapid motion was driving her insane, and she clasped both of her hands on her knees, one on each knee. For an instant her mind felt the relief of stillness, but then her burning thirst was thrust back to the forefront of her mind, and she groaned.
A deep chuckle caught her attention, angering her and blissfully distracting her.
She snapped her bright red eyes up to stare at the source of the sound.
James sat on the edge of the motel bed, his legs spread, elbows on his knees. Victoria was kneeling on the mattress behind him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Both were watching her, amused by her discomfort.
"What's wrong, Isabella?" James asked, smiling his predator smile. Victoria smirked, pressing her cheek to James's ear while she studied their 'guest.'
"Do we have to stay here, James?" Bella hissed, irritated that it sounded as though she were begging.
"Of course. Aren't you tired of sleeping in the woods?"
Victoria giggled at her mate's joke. James just grinned. Bella scowled back at him.
"Why, dear?" Victoria's voice was achingly sweet, only irritating Bella more because she knew any kindness the woman offered was false. "Are you uncomfortable here?"
Bella's response was a growl, causing both of her companions to laugh. James's laugh was deep and rough, while Victoria's was a low, sultry giggle. Both of them sounded like sex to Bella, and she focused on her disgust with that thought in order to ignore the burn civilization brought her.
The two other vampires must have noticed that same alluring quality in each other's voices, because the turned to each other and kissed passionately.
Bella stared at them for a long moment, remembering the way her cheeks would once have filled with blood at the sight. Now she just let the embarrassment wash over her without any physical manifestation. She didn't like it, but awkwardness was more bearable than the pain of her thirst.
"Couldn't you at least have gotten me a separate room?"
James and Victoria clung to one another for another long moment, and Bella allowed her fingers to dig into her knees. She didn't look away, even though she was revolted and humiliated.
Eventually they broke apart and James offered her a complacent grin while Victoria kissed a trail down his neck. "If you don't want to be here, Bella, get lost. You could go ask for your own room."
James laughed at the idea, knowing Bella wouldn't dare talk to a human, though his laughter turned into a hiss when Victoria bit his shoulder. She licked over the spot affectionately.
Bella stood.
"Don't go far, now…" James murmured, his voice husky.
Bella practically threw herself out of the room, and an instant later she was leaning out over a railing. The motel room opened directly onto a balcony, and James had gotten a second-story room.
Bella closed her eyes, leaning away from the building and taking a slow, experimental breath. The night air was cool, but fire burned in her chest. They were right in the middle of some city, surrounded on every side for at least a mile by thousands of humans.
Venom filled her mouth at the very thought.
She shuddered. She was so thirsty… and so sickened by herself.
She swung up onto the railing carefully, and then threw herself up onto the roof of the motel. She stumbled slightly, scrabbling to keep her grip, and then sat down abruptly. She estimated she had maybe an hour until dawn. She prayed James and Victoria would be done by then, so she could go back inside. At least then there'd be a nice, solid wall between her and the burning atmosphere.
Not, of course, that a wall would help very much; it wouldn't even slow her down.
She hated they way she lived now, surviving off the blood of innocent humans, but there was nothing she could do. She was an uncontrollable newborn. She didn't have the willpower to resist when their warm blood was thrust under her nose, as her coven so often did… She couldn't help herself – she took. She'd take and take and take until she was sated… until she regained control. And then…
If she were capable of being sick, she would have starved to death by now. She would never have been able to keep their blood down. It satisfied her thirst, but it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever done. It appalled her that her body could crave what every other part of her rejected.
Sometimes, when they were traveling through wilderness (which James avoided because it put Bella at ease), she would sneak away from them and hunt animals. Their blood was nowhere near as satisfying, but much more palatable. She would much rather glut herself on animals than on people, which she would do if she were even the slightest bit thirsty when they arrived in a new town.
She was only the slightest bit thirsty now, having gorged just yesterday when they'd accidentally crossed paths with a herd of dear. James and Victoria couldn't stop her once she started to hunt. They wouldn't try. She was free to act any way that she wished, or any way that her instincts forced her to act. The only thing they would stop her from doing was running away.
She'd run away once. She'd learned not to do so again.
Below her, on the balcony, a door opened. She slithered down the roof, not trusting herself to stand, and leaned over the edge to see if it were either of her companions.
It wasn't.
The young man looked up at her, startled, and she stared back, just as surprised. His scent hit her full on, causing her throat to burn. She froze, staying completely still in an attempt to control her body. She studied his appearance, desperate to distract herself from his smell.
He was perhaps as tall as Jasper had been, with curly dark hair like Emmett's, but longer. He wore loose slacks and tennis shoes, and a partially buttoned shirt that was tucked sloppily into his pants. His eyes were green and bright, wide – with surprise? Or fear? He had a splash of freckles across the bridge of his nose and over the crinkles around his eyes. His cheeks were slowly flushing, and that was what did him in.
He smelled positively delicious, and the visible evidence of his blood kicked in Bella's instincts. She smiled her predator smile, the new one she'd unconsciously acquired weeks ago for her first kill.
The fool actually smiled back.
Bella swung down from the roof of the motel, landing with only the slightest stumble. The human wouldn't even notice. She stood straight and grinned up at him, listening as his heartbeat kicked up a notch. She reveled in the sound, and stepped closer to him. "Hello…" she drawled, her voice low.
"Hi." His blush was fuller, and she reached up a cold hand to feel his hot cheek. He gasped at her touch, but didn't back away. "I'm Jonas," he murmured, as though his name mattered.
Of course, she would always remember it, but it wouldn't save his life.
"Jonas," she cooed, pulling his face down to her as though into a kiss. At the last instant, she blew a sweet breath into his face, and turned her head to catch his throat with her teeth.