Title: Bloody hell, this is gonna be a long day.
Disclaimer: I don't own the series BLEACH or its characters, they are the property of Tite Kubo.
Part three of my 'Bloody Hell!' series. Please read the two stories that preceded it; 'Argh! Bloody Hell!' and 'AHH! Bloody Hell!'
Summary: Zaraki and Unohana make a little bet over an 11th division challenge.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Unohana sat in her office sipping her tea when the silence was broken by loud shouting, with a sigh she puts down her cup to investigate. She sees several 11th division squad members harassing her subordinates and quietly walks up behind them resting her hand on one of their shoulders.
"Do I have to remind you that while you are under this roof your lives are in my hands and the hands of my subordinates." She says in her politest tone sending shivers up the spines of the men involved.
"May I enquire as to why you were harassing my subordinates?" asks Unohana politely.
"We were ah… just proving to them that we are… um stronger" replied one not daring to look her in the eyes.
"So you are bullying my division and my subordinates because of a perceived difference in physical strength. I would ask you to refrain from implying that my division is weak," states Unohana.
"Why don't you prove it?" Zaraki asks smugly walking in to see what the commotion is.
"Lets see if any of your subordinates actually have what it takes to be considered strong, or are ya scared we'll wipe the floor with em," taunts Zaraki.
"So how do you intend to test this?" asks Unohana.
"Two words: BATTLE ROYALE!" barks Zaraki earning cheers from his division members present and looks of horror from the fourth division members.
"I have another idea, how about myself and two of my subordinates experience what it is like to be apart of the 11th division. For one day myself, Isane-Fukutaichou and Yamada-san will act as if we are apart of the eleventh division. However, you cannot treat us any different than you would your own subordinates. If we can survive a day as 11th division members then you and your division must swear not to harass the 4th division," Unohana states.
Zaraki grins, "Sure, if your people can survive you have our word, they must be strong enough to keep up with my men, if any of you complain once or fail a task then you lose." Zaraki chuckles slightly "oh and when you lose, you; Unohana Retsu must spend the night in my bed" declare Zaraki holding out his hand to finalise the agreement.
Isane speaks up "Taichou, you can't agree to that"
"What's wrong, afraid you'll lose, oh wait, you will," taunts one eleventh division member.
"Very well Zaraki Taichou, I agree to your conditions" and with that Unohana shakes his hand.
"See ya at midnight tonight," s Zaraki calls behind him as he walks out.
"What do you mean midnight?" exclaims Isane.
"What, you guys agreed to one day, one day is 24 hours," Zaraki begins laughing menacingly "get ready for 24 hours of fun with me and my men, at midnight tomorrow we'll judge if you passed and if… no, when you fail, Unohana spends the rest of the night keeping my bed warm." With that, he and his men strut out all chuckling amongst themselves. Isane and Hanataro look at each other than at their captain only for her to tell them to prepare for the next day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Midnight, out in front of the 11th division barracks:
The three member of the fourth division arrived just before midnight to find Zaraki Kenpachi and his two subordinates Madarame Ikkaku and Ayasegawa Yumichika waiting for them.
"Bout time you showed up, started thinking you'd chickened out" says Zaraki lazily as he leans against the barracks gate.
"Come on, we'll show you to your quarters" stated Ikkaku as he indicated for them to follow.
"Where is Kusajishi-Fukutaichou, Zaraki-taichou? Asks Unohana noticing the little girl wasn't attached to his shoulder.
"She's asleep, her bed time was hours ago, if I woke her up to meet you lot I'd never get her back to bed, that and she doesn't like people waking her up," replies Zaraki.
Finally, the group arrive at a building with a large sign above its doors saying 'Women's Quarters'.
"We haven't had a woman in our squad for some time, but we maintain it in case," states Ikkaku.
Isane bends over and whispers sarcastically into Hanataro's ear "I wonder why?" causing both to snicker earning a glare from the 11th division men and a disapproving look from Unohana.
"So you three get comfortable, sleep tight and; be up, ready and on parade by the second bell." Declares Zaraki as the three 11th division men leave heading to the officer's quarters.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
5:55 am, 11th division.
The three fourth division members were a woken with a start by a loud bell ringing through the darkness out side, with a start the quickly got dressed and hurried out onto the 11th division parade grounds.
At exactly 0600 hours (6 am) as the second bell sounded, Zaraki and Yachiru, perched on her usual spot, approached the large group of men and two women lined up in rows with Ikkaku and Yumichika standing in front of them.
"Alright maggots," bellowed Zaraki in his best drill sergeant voice, "you know the drill, ten laps of the barracks, remember breakfast is served at 0630 hours, if you late you starve. MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" causing the entire group to start their 'morning jog', a small whimper could be heard from Hanataro as they started.
The large group of shinigami were on their final lap of the compound as Zaraki noticed that Unohana was making good time and giving his squad members a run for their money when he saw the two over members of the fourth division falling behind.
"Come on Hanataro, your falling behind, you don't want us to lose because it'll mean that the taichou has to …" said Isane stopping herself, not wanting to voice the price of their failure.
"I (puff) can't (puff) run (puff) any (puff) faster" panted Hanataro.
He looked up in time to see Zaraki slap a lollipop onto his back.
"You wanna know what we do to slow pokes; we give em a reason to run. Get him brat!" called Zaraki releasing Yachiru who tore after the fleeing Hanataro, her gaze fixed on the candy attached to his back.
Hanataro set the record for fastest lap that day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
G'day, heres my first attempt at a multi-chapter story, I hope your all enjoying this series but I will warn you that I'm not that regular when it comes to writing my stories since I prefer reading rather than writing so there may be long gaps between chapters.
I thought that I'd try breaking this story up into chapters when I got to the part about Hanataro setting a record and figured that it could serve as a chapter ending.
And thank you again to everyone that has reviewed, I'm happy to hear people enjoy my work, but don't worry, I'm not the kind to hold a story to ransom until I get a certain number of reviews. Also, I appreciate constructive criticism.
Have a good one
Now for some omake:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ikkaku slams his fist repeatedly into the punching bag as Yumichika holds it steady.
"Who's the man?" cries Yumichika.
"I'm the man!" shouts Ikkaku as he punches the bag
"Who's the man?" cries Yumichika a second time.
"I'm the man!" shouts Ikkaku as he punches the bag harder.
"Who's the man?" cries Yumichika again
"I'M THE MAN!" yells Ikkaku giving the bag another strong punch.
"Who's the bald man?" Chirps Yachiru.
"I'M THE BALD MA… HEY! IM NOT BALD!" shouts Ikkaku chasing after the giggling, little girl as Yumichika snickers at his slip up.