Author's Note: Ugh, this fic is really old and probably horrible. I wrote it a long time ago because I thought a creepy obsessive Canada was the best. I still think that pretty much. Oh! And sorry if this is against the rules or anything! Enjoy...? By the way, Alfred was going to be fem!Alfred, so sorry if 'she' stuff appears that I missed.

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Facebook; the best way to stalk your buddies, children, relatives, and so on. A community site, that was actually really pointless, yet so addicting; that is what Facebook is, and that is where Alfred Jones spends most of his internet time. Alfred has fifty one friends and most of them don't really give a damn about him, but for the sake of being nice, they accepted his friend request that read, "OMG! I DiDn't kNOW yOU were on here! aDD ME! Y/Y?"

Matthew Williams was somewhere on Alfred's friend list, and he had thirty-nine friends himself. Often he would scroll through Alfred's profile to see what was up with him and so on, or that's what he would say if Alfred ever did that "Who visits your page the most" note tag thing and asked why Matthew was number one on the list.

It was two in the morning when Matthew noticed that Alfred posted a status message…

Alfred F. Jones 2:02AM

-I'm sooooo tired, but i dont want 2 go 2 sleep.

Matthew stared at the post for a while. He wanted to comment on it, but he didn't know what to say. Eventually, he typed a reply and left it be.

Matthew Williams 2:10AM

-You should try to sleep Al. *heart* If you don't, those beautiful eyes will grow bags under them. *heart*

He instantly gagged at how the hearts turned into actual hearts. Alfred never replied to his comment, and Matthew just assumed that Alfred had taken his advice and gone to sleep.

The next day, Alfred posted a picture of a shoe on his head, and tagged as many people as he could. Though he wasn't tagged, Matthew saw the picture and squealed with joy. He began typing, and then he stopped, wondering what exactly he would say. Finally, he wrote something.

Matthew Williams 12:00PM

-Wow, you're so cute in this Al! Not that you're not cute any other time, but that shoe just really makes you look adorable!

Matthew smiled and eagerly waited for a reply. Soon his notifications alerted him that he had three new happenings. He quickly clicked, but was disappointed to see that it was an application alert, and the other two were replies to the picture, but not from Alfred. He clicked the replies any way to see that Francis and Gupta were the posters.

Francis Bonnefoy 12:17PM

-I can find other uses for that shoe mon amie…AND IT'S CALLED WEARING IT ON YOUR FOOT! Shoes are unfashionable hats! Inexcusable!

Gupta Hassan 12:18PM

-This picture is crap. Go die.

Oh Gupta, his online side no longer surprised anyone, even if he was silent in the real world… but my gosh! Matthew wondered if he was the only one who liked the picture any. Upon clicking the online tab, the Canadian noticed that Alfred was available to chat to. He clicked on Alfred's name, inhaled deeply, then began to type:

Matt: Hi! : )

A pause, then the screen showed that Alfred was talking, which made Mattheew's heart beat fast with anticipation.

Al: Oh hey!

Matthew spazzed the hell out and expressed his spazzing with continuous button-mashing…and sending it.

A: Oh noes! Mattie's having a seizure! LoL Call he ambolanse!

M: JDJGKLSDFGFASDFSDF

A: the*

M: GJHKLDGHKSDATDJDR

A: …Matt.

M: S-Sorry! It's just that my GOSH! You're so cute and I'm so lucky to have a cute brother like you!

There was no reply for a while, so Matthew decided to say something else.

M: Oh noes! Al's having a seizure too! Lol, I shall call the ambulance!

A: G2G! UH. SOMething weird just haooened! Bi!

-Alfred is now offline.

Matthew scratched his head and wondered what happened that was weird. A little later that night, Alfred posted a status saying, "EW! CREEPER ALERT! SOMEONE HELP ME!" Instantly Matthew replied.

Matthew Williams 5:24PM

-Who? Al, if there's a creeper, tell them to get lost!

Almost a second after his post, Alfred replied right back.

Alfred F. Jones 5:24PM

-GET LOST!

Matthew Williams 5:25PM

-No not me, the creeper!

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A/N: ...Okay. Admittedly, I chuckle at some of this when I read it again.