Everyone. Knows. Everyone. Knows. Everyone. Knows.

I was sitting at the picnic table after school, trying to decide what to do. I couldn't take it anymore. The descison had been made. Before I could stop myself, I reached up to grab the barrette in my hair, glancing nervously around to make sure no one was watching. I popped the clasp of the barrette, holding the metal part close to the flame of the lighter. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself again, when I swore not to. But this is not the time for lamenting. I Bring the hot metal clasp of the barrette closer to my skin, closer, closer, until it finally touches my forearm. I am rewarded with a searing pain that I cannot describe. Clare appears almost instantaneously. "Adam?", she asks, followed by a more urgent, "What are you doing?", startling me into tossing the paraphenlia onto the table. "Adam..." , she trails off with a face full of pain, looking at my arm. She runs her fingers over the burns, stopping when I put my hand over them. Before she can say anything more, I decide to offer up an explanation. "If I'm Gracie, everything's easier right? For everyone." I continue. "When I was her I used to burn myself; it's how I let the anger out." I admitted. "But you're not her!", Clare finally manages to get out. "But I have to be her! For my mom, my family, for everyone! I'm trying so hard..." I exclaim. "You don't have to change who you are, everyone else does." Clare tells me. "Come on, let's get you home." She whispers. "Not in these clothes..." I attempt a joke. Clare gingerly picks up the barrette and the lighter, before helping me up and grabbing my backpack. Everything's not ok now, but I know it will be soon.