Why Don't You Stay?

Remilyon

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee if I did there would much rejoicing among the Puckleberry fans and despair for those rooting for Finchel. As this is not happening I have to face up to the facts I don't own or write for Glee. This was inspired by Sugerland's Stay which also I do not own. Also I do not have a Beta so there are going to be errors that I do not catch.

Puck looked at the clock and felt the sadness and reality creep in, it was only 9:20 on a Friday but any minute the phone would ring. That ring would end the dream as it always did, for just a couple hours he had it, the joy of her loving, of pretending…almost like his thoughts had conjured it he felt the vibration and saw the screen light up the room illuminating her face right before it sounded and she pulled out of his arms mumbled a sorry before answering. Her warmth pulled from his side and he felt the instant chill. He wished it was just physically missing her body heat but the chill was more of an emotional withdrawal.

He heard her talking but he'd stopped paying attention a long time ago to these phone calls they hurt too much. He remembered the first one clearly; she was just curled up in his arms after crying. He remembered telling her she was too good for the shit Finn put her through.

(Flashback)

"Rachel it'll be okay, he's wrong there is nothing wrong you." Puck was whispering into her hair. He just doesn't know when he became the person to pick her up after Finn fucked up maybe it just always was there but it was killing him to hear her whimper as she tried so hard not to break down yet again. Somehow Rachel had managed to get him and Finn to go with her to New York, not there was anywhere else he was planning on being other wherever she was. But Finn was supposed to stay in Ohio.

Yet now here Puck was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall with her curled up between his legs, her head on his chest soaking his shirt as cried off and on because of Finn. While whispering comforting words against her hair with his arms wrapped around her, Puck wanted to be out kicking his supposed best friend's ass.

"You'll see Rach he'll call because he knows the he's lucky to have you. He'll come up with some lame ass shit and you and he will patch things up and be off to your happily ever after that you've planned." His own heart clenched as he spoke the word he knew she needed because he didn't want them to be true.

"No Noah" Rachel pulled away and looked at him, her face was tear stained, her doe brown eyes red rimmed and her lips were swollen from where she has bitten them to keep from crying. "He doesn't get the happy ending. Finn can't deal with me he can't stand how driven I am, how I push him to do what I know he can if he would just commit himself. He doesn't love all of me even the things I don't. I'm not going back to him, never again. It's over."

Her eyes determined as she spoke the words her hand curling into fist clutching the material of his t-shirt. Puck felt his own heart speed up with her words as his mind raced from thought to though. Does she mean it? Will he finally get the chance he's been waiting for since she dumped him sophomore year? Would he finally be able lay claim on her be the one for her. His arm tightened around her.

Puck was caught up in his thoughts and didn't notice when Rachel raised her head started studying him. Watching his face as emotions ran a crossed his expressive face. hurt, hope, fear, she saw splay across the handsome face of her friend and not for the first time she wondered if maybe he had more feelings for her then she ever thought. She felt his heart beat under her hands it was almost racing. Then she felt his arms tighten around her and she could tell he was now actually seeing her not just the thoughts that had taken over.

Puck's last thought had pulled him back to the moment; she had just over thrown Finns prior claim to her life. He had no reason not to feel the way he has always felt. As he focused he noted she was now studying him her face upturned a little her lips her parted as she breathed.

(End flashback)

To this day Noah didn't know who leaned in for the kiss that led to her being in his arms and his bed part time. What he remembers is thinking this is it; I get to have the happy ending. Then the call came. She got out of his bed then just as she did now. He remembers hearing her arrange to meet Finn her saying that she owed Finn the chance to make it right. That they had too many years together to hurt him by just leaving him.

Funny she never seemed to have a problem walking out Pucks door. He watched as she got dressed, as she got ready to walk out on him again. Puck wondered how much longer he could take it, being used by the woman he loved. And love her he did, the strong opinionated part, the insecure part that needed someone to support her, the part that cared so much for others, all of her. He just couldn't figure out where he stood in her life. Did she love him? Even a little. Was he just a revenge fuck to get even with Finn?

How could someone so committed to not hurting someone who broke her over and over have no difficulty tearing out the heart of the person that has always been there for her?

She leaned over him full dressed he noted as she pulled him again from his thoughts "I have to go" she whispered before kissing him lightly.

Noah didn't know what was different this time but he knew he couldn't let her walk out the door. His hand wrapped in her hair and pulled her closer. He deepened the kiss nipping at her bottom lip till she granted him the full access he wanted. His tongue teased hers tasting her, tangling with her own as he tempted her stay. He heard the little moan she gave off and smiled against her lips as his other hand sought her hips and pulled her down on the bed and over him. His lips left hers to travel down her neck to the sweet spot right below her ear. His reward was his name half whispered and half moaned as he nipped and soothed the area. Her hands stroked up from his bicep to his shoulders, and then one found its way to his hair. Her fingers ran through the hair at the base of his neck and clenching there when he nipped a particular sensitive spot. The other smoothed down his chest and teased his nipple.

He pushed up the bed so that he was now sitting with her in his lap. His hand that wasn't busy tangled in her hair started unbuttoning the shirt he had just watched her button so that she could leave him. At that thought he broke one of her rules and sucked hard on her neck determined to leave his mark there. Even though she said she hated hickeys she must have liked the feeling it created because her hips pushed down on to him and her gasp echoed throughout his apartment.

When his hand slipped into her now buttoned shirt and his mouth traveled to the re-exposed skin she seemed to come to herself some.

"Noah I have to go" he ignored the whisper and pushed her bra aside with his nose to suckle around the nipple not quiet giving her the satisfaction she wanted. Not that she really seemed to want to leave his lap if the " oh Noah mmmmm" was anything to go by.

His hands moved on now that her breast were bare for him he wanted all of her again. He cupped her ass and set a rhythm for her against his cock. When she was grinding herself with no help from him he searched for the closure to her skirt. Finding the button he flicked it open one hand but when he started to unzip it she stopped.

Her hands that had just been on his body encouraging him moved to cup his face forcing him to focus on hers. "Noah we have to stop I have to go" In retaliation he thrust his hips up knowing she was still positioned for it to effect her. She gasped and it was his turn to speak.

"Why? Why do we have to stop? Why do you have to leave? Huh baby" another thrust. "Doesn't this feel good, don't you wanna stay, wrapped up warm and satisfied?" another thrust as he watched her eyes he could see her fighting it. "Think about it Rachel... My cock sliding home in you, hitting all the right places, thrusting in and out, forcing you higher and higher till you scream my name and cum. My mouth on you, your beautiful leg draped over my shoulders as I dine on the finest pussy the gods placed on earth. Don't you want that Rach? Then when you're exhausted from cumming so many times we'll fall asleep start all over again tomorrow."

"Noah that sounds great" as soon as she spoke he knew he had lost the battle, "but I have to go Finn needs to talk to me" her head ducked and he wondered if it was to hide her face or to keep from seeing his as she brought Finn into bed with them.

"Rachel please" his fingers tipped her head back so she would meet his eyes. He didn't know when he decided to ask her but he knew his question and her answer would change everything "Stay" he whispered to her.

"Noah" she paused as though she was hunting for the words " you know I can't I have to let him..." for once he cut her off.

"You have to what Rachel? You have to give him another chance to break your heart. When will it be enough huh? When he has actually broken you? How can you give him chance after chance? How can you face him knowing you want to be with me? How can you be with him knowing I'm here waiting for you to see me? To really see me. For years you've run to me when he fucks up, for the past 3 years you have not only run to me but also my bed when you guys have the least little fight. You are looking for reasons to come to me Rachel. I thought you felt something but I think I get it now. This is just about sex." as he spoke he actually pushed her off him and pulled on a pair of briefs from the floor. "I can't watch you leave me over and over again Rachel. I'm the one there for you when you get a part with glass of wine, vegan ice cream when you don't, a bouquet on opening and closing night, open arms and open bed when you need to get away from your boyfriend. You have a fucking key to my place Rach, don't you get what that means."

He saw her face shocked, and tears in her eyes, he felt like an ass but years of being cast aside that had built up came pouring out now that the damn had broken. She just stared at him.

"Four years you've had a key, four years and you never wondered why you never ran into another chick Rach, you never wondered why even before we had a physical relationship you could come over day or night without calling ahead. Why I have never turned you away. Not once, not even for an hour if I was home, because there was no chance of you running into another female because if it wasn't you I didn't want anyone in my bed. Is it too much to ask for the same from you? Rachel please just tell him it's over and stay."

"Noah I'm sorry but I can't, you don't understand, Finn and I we are supposed to be. I'm sorry I didn't realize I was hurting you." he saw her take a breath and open her mouth again to speak but for once he walked away.

All he could hear was her saying her and Finn were meant to be together, he never stood a chance. It was all in his head, everything he thought they had, it was shit. Her end game is still Finn and it always would be. Vaguely he could hear her talking to him but it didn't register. Not until he felt her hand on his arm, then he heard her calling his name. For once his name on her lips didn't bring him any type of pleasure. Instead he just felt numb as he looked down at her beautiful face. It had tears on it but he didn't brush them away or pull her into his arms.

"Noah please don't shut me out." she begged him gripping both of his arms and turning him towards her. "Oh Noah, I..." she just stopped and reached a hand towards his face, he flinched away not wanting her to touch him.

He removed her hand from his arm and thought about what he needed to do. Looking at her when she looked so hurt, staring at her hand like she couldn't believe he didn't want her touch. He didn't want to hurt her more but he didn't want to draw this out either she had made her choice.

"Berry" she paled and her jerked as though he had slapped her not called her by an old nickname. "You need to leave Finn is waiting on you"

"No we need to talk about this I can't leave you hurting Noah, I can't stand that I've hurt you. We need to fix this" she stated her head shaking. "Noah we can't let this fester we have to talk..."

"There's nothing to fix nothing to talk about Berry, you don't see a future with me. Unless you are saying I heard that wrong and you want me not Finn then there is nothing to talk about nothing to fix, this whatever it has been is over. You can't have us both. Now turn around and walk out the door go to Finn and next time he fucks up, don't come here. If Finn is your end game Rachel you need to let me go so that I can find a new future one without you."

The numbness was wearing off and her tears were killing him. A big part of him wanted to take it back. To tell her no matter what he would be here for her. Deep down he knew if she really needed him he probably would be. But not like this, not anymore.

"Please don't do this Noah please don't leave me." her whisper broke his heart even more. She shuffled towards him. Her shoulders shaking with each hitch of her breath. He didn't stop her this time as she touched him wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. Again her tears were soaking him the difference being that this time he was the cause. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around her and he drew a deep breath, inhaling and savoring her scent before he spoke.

"Baby I'm not leaving you, you're leaving me." he felt his own eyes water and let the tears fall. He squeezed her tighter as he realized this was the last time this woman would be in his arms. He felt her arms tighten in return.

"But I don't want to leave I don't want you to not be here. I don't know how to not have you here Noah. Please don't do this."

"I have to baby." he responded. "Now dry your eyes and go see what Finn has to say this time go get your end game." he watched and Rachel nodded and almost as though she were in a daze walk through his apartment picking up her stuff before walking to the door. He was praying she wouldn't turn the knob and when she hesitated hope blossomed in his chest. But she didn't turn she just spoke.

"I don't want to do this, I don't want to leave things like this, and I don't want you to think I don't care for you. But you have expressed that this is what you need. I will walk out this door because it's what you need not because it's what I want." Those were that last word Rachel Berry spoke before she walked out of his apartment.

As she walked out he heard the phone ring, he hated that fucking ringtone. He also heard he answer and tell Finn not now. He wished she had told Finn that earlier maybe then he wouldn't have this hole in his heart where Rachel should be. Instead he would have been loving her, holding her, fearing the phone would ring again.