Know Your Smashers
Chapter 1: Mario
There seemed to be an abandoned room in the middle of nowhere, the only thing in the room being a seat and a light shining over it. It was none other than the dreaded "Know Your Stars" studio. The first guest just so happened to be a certain Italian plumber, who took his place in the hot seat as the announcer started to echo.
Know Your Smashers...Know Your Smashers...Know Your Smashers...
"Who said that? Who's-a there?" Mario asked, but his questions wouldn't be answered as the announcer went on.
Mario...he's a hallucinogenic drug dealer.
"That's not-a true. I'm not associated with-a any drugs." Mario stated, trying to correct the announcer.
Don't deny it. We all know you love to do shrooms.
"Those mushrooms I collect aren't-a drugs! I swear!" Mario protested.
Mario...was born in a family of criminals.
"I was not-a born from any criminals!" Mario exclaimed. "I am not-a some kind of bad guy! I'm-a 100% good!"
...Are you sure about that? That's not what I heard.
"What are you-a talking about?" Mario asked. The announcer didn't answer and instead showed him a magazine of a criminal family with his face plastered on one of them. "That's not-a me! You just took some criminal magazine and-a put my face on one of the people!"
Uh...no, I didn't. Mario...once killed a man.
"I did-a no such thing!" Mario exclaimed once again. "I would-a never do anything so vile! I'm not-a some kind of criminal, I'm just a normal Italian plumber!"
Now you know the hallucinogenic drug dealing criminal, Mario!
"No, you-a don't!" Mario cried out.
Yes you do!
"I'm-a telling you, I'm not a criminal! I was-a never born one, nor will I ever be one! Don't believe-a any of the things the announcer just said! They're all lies! Are you-a even there? Hello?"