A/N: First, I know Rachel sings this song to Finn…pretend that she didn't.
A/N2: This is part of the Sexy Stalker 'Verse, and I must apologize for the massive delay. My muse took a holiday, and it's taken a while to get inspiration for this segment. I would like to thank everyone that reviewed/fav'ed/alerted my stories/me. As other authors will agree, there is no real reason to continue writing if no one likes it, so y'all, and your words, are super important. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Neither Glee nor 'Without You' belongs to me.
Summary: After a massive fight, Sebastian apologizes the only way he knows how. Follows God Gave Me You.
Without You
It was the twentieth of December, after her first semester at NYADA, and Rachel Berry had no idea what she was doing. Sitting on a plane back to Lima, her iPod blasting in her ears, she tried to think of anything but the boy who was the reason she had decided to go back to Ohio. Her dads had offered to fly out to New York, so she could have her first Christmas in the city with them, as they had been planning for years, but Rachel had missed her boyfriend too much. When they were making plans a couple months ago, she had insisted on coming back. Now, she didn't even know if she had a boyfriend anymore.
She sniffed, a tear escaping, at the thought of their last interaction. It was just before her finals, and she was obviously stressed. An offhand comment had gotten her riled up, and before she realized it, they were screaming at each other. Part way through, Kurt had come running in, drawn by her raised voice, still on the phone with Blaine. She found out later that he had gotten Blaine to go to Sebastian's dorm, where he usually retreated to when it was time for them to speak in order to have privacy, before trying to calm her. She had started yelling at Kurt, before turning her attention back on Sebastian when she heard him yelling at Blaine through the phone. Sebastian had finally yelled something, she didn't even remember what it was, and she had taken it harder than she should have, like the entirety of their argument, and hung up on him. She had ignored his calls the next day, forced herself to focus on her exams, and by the time she had been ready to forgive him, he had stopped calling. Not sure where they stood, and not wanting to talk about it over the phone, she hadn't tried calling him back.
A soft hand on hers drew her attention to Kurt, who was sitting next to her, also going back to Lima to spend the break with his family and boyfriend. She gave a wavering smile, forcing back her tears, not wanting to break down in public. She was also slightly ashamed of how much Kurt had seen her break down recently. He gave her a concerned look, but didn't ask. As much as they enjoyed drama, divas to the end, he was also aware how much they kept to themselves, and the true hurt she was going through was private. She hadn't even been able to sing about it yet, which troubled him more than her crying when her guard slipped.
She cleared her throat, pulling the earbuds out, "is Blaine coming to get you?"
His fretful visage never slipped as he answered, "no. Dad is going to pick me up. Blaine and I are planning to get together tomorrow." He stopped, snapping his mouth shut before he started rambling on about his plans with his boyfriend, aware of how much she was hurting. Cautiously, he inquired, "do you have any plans?'
Rachel closed her eyes briefly, "just catching up with my dads. My other plans," she paused, "I don't know. I would like to see Blaine for a few minutes, at least," she weakly teased.
He gave a small laugh, "I'm sure we can pencil you in."
She smiled, a faint but true smile. They chatted lightly, alternated with listening to music, until they landed. The chaos of getting off the plane and gathering their bags distracted them, when voices calling their names caught their attention. Whipping around, they saw three men behind them. Abandoning their luggage, Rachel threw herself at her dads, Kurt doing similarly beside her with his dad. Trading greetings, they collected the bags, and headed toward their respective cars. Promising to call each other the next morning, Rachel and Kurt parted. The ride home was filled with talking and laughter. Her fathers knew that there was something wrong, but Kurt had called them, after finding out that Rachel wasn't going to, and told them of the fight. This morning before they left New York, Kurt had called and updated them on the progress, or lack thereof, between her and Sebastian. So, they tried to act normally, and didn't push her to talk about it, seeing how she was trying to appear like there was nothing wrong.
This pattern continued for the next couple of days. She spent time with her dads, and Kurt and Blaine when she could, and tried not to check her phone. She knew that he wouldn't call, and she was afraid to see if he would answer. Because of her fears, she refused to call him, no matter how many times her friends tried to convince her to do so. Unknown to her, Blaine was having similar conversations with Sebastian, who was just as reluctant to try again. It wasn't until a gleeful Kurt burst into her room early on the morning of Christmas Eve, that anything changed. He was babbling too quickly for even her to understand what he was saying, until she tossed a pillow at his head, hard. He abruptly stopped, giving her an insulted look. Rachel just rolled her eyes, and fell back down, covering her head with the blanket. Kurt huffed and pulled the blankets completely off her bed, gaining a shriek from her as the cold air hit her body.
"Come on, Rachel!" he exclaimed from the foot of her bed. "We need to go shopping."
"What? Why?" she whined. "We've already bought presents for everyone."
"I know that," he said exasperated. "But, we need to find an outfit for the party."
She sat up finally and looked at him. "What party?"
"Don't you read your emails anymore?" he asked, tossing her phone onto the bed next to her.
She shook her head, "I haven't been checking while we're on vacation."
He sighed, "lucky you have me, then."
Rachel got up, grabbing an outfit from her closet, going into the bathroom to get ready. "Give me an hour. Why don't you grab something from the kitchen. I'm sure you raced out of your house without eating, again. When I'm done you can tell me about this party."
She heard an answering agreement as Kurt made his way out of her room, heading downstairs. She shook her head, too used to him to be surprised. A quick shower later, along with various make-up/hair/etc, she hopped down the stairs. Sliding onto a chair next to Kurt, who was just finishing eating his breakfast, she stole a piece of his toast, saying "alright, what's this about a party?"
He scowled at her for taking the toast, but was willing distracted with her question. "Shue has decided that a joint Christmas/New Year's party for New Directions and the Warblers is in order. He sent out an email yesterday inviting everyone who is in town, both graduated and new members, to come to a party on the 27th."
"Where? We've been doing those parties here, because of the pool, but it's December."
Kurt nodded, handing her an apple, "apparently, Shue has reserved the bowling alley for the whole day." She raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. "It has a karaoke stage and they make food."
She nods with a smile, "everything we need."
He grins back, "which means we must find a fabulous new outfit for the occasion."
She laughed, but agreed. She actually enjoyed shopping with Kurt after he learned to tone it down slightly. They spent the day shopping, taking advantage of the Christmas deals. In the end they got more than just an outfit each, but they had such a great day together that they ignored it.
"So, I have to spend tomorrow with my family, and the day after is Blaine's day, but I'll be here early to help you get ready for the party. K?"
She just pushed him out of the door playfully, pointing to his car. "Go, Kurt." A smile tugged at her lips, "I'll see you soon."
He gave her a mock offended look, before smiling and jumping in the car. A final wave, and he headed home. She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she absently checked her phone, closing her eyes as she realized that he still hadn't called. She listlessly got ready for bed. She spent the next two days in a haze, finally allowing herself to succumb to the pain of her questionable relationship. It was Kurt waking her on the morning of the party that forced her to come back to herself, pushing the relationship issues to the back of her head again. It wasn't until they were in the car to go pick Blaine up that she thought of something.
"Kurt," her panicked tone caught his attention. "Will Sebastian be there?"
Before she could start rambling, like she tended to do in times of high emotion, he interrupted. "Rachel. I don't know if he'll be there, I haven't spoken to him since your fight."
She was too anxious to catch that he hadn't added that Blaine hadn't spoken to him. Her thoughts were interrupted by Blaine hopping in the backseat. Greeting him distractedly, she tried to pry her mind away from the new worry, not sure if she was more concerned that he would be there, or that he wouldn't. Her attention was caught as soon as they arrived at the bowling alley by the reunions and introductions to new members. Surprisingly, everyone had returned for the break, and they all managed to come for at least a couple hours. She was distracted by catching up with Noah, who she was fairly close to but hadn't been able to talk with much during the last semester, when Sebastian entered, late enough to make an entrance, as usual. She did her best to ignore him and focus on her friend, when she realized that he was avoiding her, but she had never been terrific with subtlety, and Noah called her on it quickly. She was able to wave it off as a minor issue, and divert him with asking about his finals at OSU, and forced herself to act like she truly didn't see her boyfriend enter.
A short time later, a cut in the music caught everyone's attention. Shue had jumped onto the small stage and turned on the karaoke, now a tradition, and announced that, like last time, he would have a paper where those who wanted to sing would sign up so that there was at least the appearance of order. A laugh from the audience at that truth, and most of the room swarmed to him to sign up. Rachel hung back, still next to Noah, who didn't really want to perform anything at the moment, resolutely focusing on their conversation, ignoring the rest of the room, unsure where Sebastian was and not wanting to accidentally see him. The first song was a familiar tune that she couldn't place. It wasn't until she heard Sebastian's voice, and finally recognized the song, that she whipped toward the stage. The Warblers sang backup as he focused directly on her, his gaze never wavering as he sang to her.
I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you
Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without...
You! You! You!
Without...you
Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you
Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without...
You! You! You!
Without...you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without...you
By the end he had made his way to her place in the back of the room and tears were running down her face, a smile threatening to break free. He cupped her chin, dropping the microphone on the bar behind her. She sniffed, the room quiet and fixated on them, though they disregarded them all.
Sebastian spoke first, "I'm sorry, Rae."
"You can't just sing a song every time we get in a fight."
He nodded, "I know, but it usually works," he finished with an impish grin.
A laugh escaped before she could smother it, making his smile soften into the one she was so familiar with. After she calmed, she said, "I guess it really is my fault as much as yours. I'm sorry, too."
"So," he started with a look that made her gaze turn wary. "If you're sorry, and I'm sorry," his hand slid into her hair, the other coming to rest on her hip. "Then can we get to the make-up portion of this fight?"
She snorted, rolling her eyes, but didn't protest as he tugged her closer. When he pulled her into a kiss, a cheer went up starting with Kurt and Blaine, the only two who were truly aware of how bad the fight had been, though everyone, especially the Warblers, had been dealing with the after effects for the past few weeks. Drawing back, they smiled at each other, happy to have made up, but aware that they would be talking about this a great deal to clear the air completely. Wrapped around each other, and acting sickly sweet, according to Kurt, they spent the rest of the day watching their friends and being together, for the first time since August. Content to finally have him back, Rachel soon began wondering how they would handle the next semester, if the last one turned out like that.