Lena closed the spiral-bound book with a heavy sigh, leaning back in her desk chair. She had just finished reviewing the latest project report for a new line of protective gear they were developing for law enforcement agencies. It was good, but Lena had her reservations.
After being saved after her last brush with death at the hands of her mother and CADMUS, Lena had the good fortune to chat with Supergirl. She had witnessed the final shootout between Supergirl, the DEO, her mother, and Cyborg Superman, and she couldn't believe some of what she had seen. Everyone knew that Supergirl had super strength, and the ability to fly, and heat ray eyes and freeze breath. But Lena was stunned when she watched bullets ricochet off Supergirl's cape when she fanned it out, shielding Lena from sure death.
"What on earth is that cape made of, Supergirl?" she had asked. "Wait… it is made of something from earth, right?" she added with a laugh.
The question had sparked a long chat, where Supergirl explained all the enhancements in her super suit, especially the flexible, bullet-proof fabric of her cape. Lena's creative mind had gone haywire, thinking of all the ways she could expand on that technology. But, as with every new invention, she had her hesitations. If she developed these new, virtually bullet-proof uniforms for National City police, what were the odds it could fall into the wrong hands? What if she ended up strengthening the very forces she wanted to help fight against?
Her brain was fried. She had pored over the report all day, reading it cover to cover at least three times. The new leggings, undershirts, and shoes were basically ready for production—just waiting on the green light from the CEO.
She pushed away from her desk and walked over to the bar on the side of her grand office, pouring herself a whiskey. It was past 8:00, and she knew she should try to head home, but something was nagging at her to keep working.
Her office door creaked open and Jess stepped halfway into her office. Lena glanced at her, expectantly.
"Ms. Luthor, I know you said to give her full access, but given the time of night, I wanted to be sure you were okay with a visitor." She paused. "Kara Danvers is here to see you," she added when Lena didn't immediately respond.
"Oh…" Lena looked around, a little baffled. "Oh, no, that's fine Jess, thank you. Please send her in."
Jess nodded and stepped backwards, opening the door all the way and making room for Kara to slip past her into the office.
They stood facing one another, silent, until Jess closed the door behind her on the way out. Lena awkwardly wiped her palms down the front of her dress, subconsciously trying to straighten out any wrinkles. Kara simply smiled at her a ducked her head slightly.
"Ms. Danvers, it's nice to see you," Lena finally said, the genuineness of the words apparent. "What brings you by so late?" Lena waved towards her couch, questioning whether Kara wanted to take a seat.
"Oh, no, no, I don't mean to keep you." Kara shook her head, remaining in place in the middle of the office. "And please, call me Kara?" she asked, tone light, as though it was a gentle reminder.
"Yes, yes, Kara." Lena nodded and smiled. "Well then, Kara," she emphasized the name, adding a touch of flirtatiousness to her voice, "I ask again: What brings you by so late?"
"Actually, I just stopped by on a whim. I'm on my way to meet my sister and some of our friends at a bar just down the block, and as I walked by I," Kara broke eye contact, cheeks flushing. "No, no, no, you know what, nevermind, I'm so stupid… I'll leave you to your night." Kara turned quickly and took several brisk strides. Before Lena could realize what was happening, Kara's hand was on the door knob.
"Kara, wait!" Lena said, loudly. "Wait, don't go." Lena winced internally at the desperation evident in her voice; she took two deep breaths and exhaled as she saw Kara's hand slip off the door knob and she turned back into the office. Kara shrugged, "I just realized how stupid this was of me, you can just ignore me. If you're this late, there's obviously something you need to be doing."
"Kara, I still don't understand. Why did you come here?"
"I was walking down the street towards the bar and I saw your office light on… so… I figured you must have still been here. I was just going to invite you to join us for a drink, but right as I was saying it, I realized how totally out of the blue and lame and… kind of creepy I'm being." Kara couldn't help but laugh at herself, awkwardly. "It was stupid, just don't worry about it."
Lena was silent for a moment, trying to read the other girl's face. She had no idea what to do here. Of course she wanted to go with Kara; there was not much more in the world she wanted to do than be in the presence of the woman in front of her. But that was the problem. She couldn't want that. She couldn't allow herself to become attached and vulnerable. Lena didn't believe there was any possibility that Kara could ever have feelings for her in the first place, which was all the more reason to protect herself from inevitable heartache. And in the off chance Kara could feel the same way (which Lena knew was impossible), she knew she was no good. She couldn't bring Kara into her orbit to ruin.
And so, after running all of those thoughts through her head (not for the first time) at lightning speed, Lena opened her mouth to decline. Only, Kara spoke first.
"Please?" she asked, quietly.
Lena locked eyes with Kara, and swallowed heavily at the pouty eyes and bottom lip pulled by Kara's top teeth, and Lena's mouth was moving before her brain could catch up.
"Well how am I supposed to say 'no' to that face?"
Kara beamed, and Lena chuckled under her breath.
"You're not, that's the point!" Kara said, happily.
"Okay, well can you give me a couple of minutes? Let me just finish up a few emails and then I'll meet you there. You go on—I don't want your friends to think I kidnapped you."
They both kept smiling at one another, and Lena felt the all-too-familiar-when-Kara's-around butterflies in her stomach.
"Okay, fair enough. It's Bello's Pub, the one right there on the corner a block over, by the Starbucks."
"I know the place," Lena said, still beaming. "But really, you go on so I can finish this up. I'll see you in a few… and Kara?" she paused; Kara waited. "I really appreciate the invitation."
Kara nodded and then practically skipped out the door towards the elevator. Lena heard a faint, "Goodnight, Jess!" laced with Kara's ever-present cheerfulness, and she couldn't help but smile in spite of herself. But the smile was short-lived.
Lena picked up the whiskey she had poured just before Jess knocked and downed the whole thing in one gulp.
"What in the world am I doing?" she thought.
She quickly poured and threw back another whiskey.
Lena had no more work she needed to do that night; but she needed some space from Kara to breathe and think and generally prepare herself for the evening ahead. She poured a third whiskey and wandered out on her balcony, thinking that fresh air would help clear her head and level her out.
As she reached the railing, Lena looked down just in time to see Kara exit the L Corp building, and she smiled to herself, watching the girl stroll down the street towards the bar. Lena hadn't thought about it before, but she could actually see Bello's from her balcony. There were a few people hanging out outside as Kara approached, and it became clear they were waiting on her. Lena squinted, and could barely make out Kara's sister, who she had met once previously, and she presumed the woman holding Alex's hand was the girlfriend Kara once mentioned. She also recognized James Olsen and his girlfriend Lucy Lane, because… well…. Of course she knew who those two were.
Lena watched on as Kara greeted them all with a hug and they stood talking for a moment. After a minute or two, James pointed across the street and they all turned their heads. Lena watched with curiosity at the tall, brunette man crossing the street towards them. She saw Kara give him a dorky (really, adorable) wave as he got closer. But Lena involuntarily frowned as she watched him bypass everyone else to bee-line straight for Kara, wrapping her in a big hug. Her stomach churned when she saw Kara give him a kiss on the cheek as they separated, smiling at one another. He turned around, finally acknowledging the rest of the group, but his left arm remained around Kara's shoulders.
That's how they walked into the bar, out of sight.
Lena felt nauseous. This was exactly what she knew would happen if she allowed herself to grasp onto the tiniest bit of hope and allow herself to marinate in her feelings for Kara Danvers. She looked down at the untouched glass of whiskey in her hand, knuckles white as she grasped it tightly. She downed it—again—in one gulp and turned to go back inside. As she set the glass back on the bar, she realized her hand was trembling, and she felt one lone tear start to slip down her cheek. She let out one choked, low, sob before quickly covering her mouth with the back of her hand. She stood still for a few moments, just like that: eyes closed, head bowed, the back of her right hand covering her mouth, and gripping the bar with her left.
She took in a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, moving her hand from her mouth to her cheek, wiping the tear track.
A beat passed.
One more breath, a sniff, and Lena was quickly upright again, a model of perfect posture. She walked swiftly to her desk and picked up her cell phone, scrolling through the contacts until she reached the Ks.
She opened a message to Kara and quickly tapped out a message, sending it before she could over think it, and then called Jess on the intercom to call her car. She stared at the phone in her hand, the ominous "Delivered" notation under her text to Kara. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes once again, shaking her head softly. A moment later her speaker phone buzzed, and she knew her car had arrived. Lena silenced her phone before shoving it in her handbag and grabbing her jacket off the coat rack in the corner. She was out the door and headed home within thirty seconds, steeled further into her resolve to wall herself off from Kara Danvers.
As the car stopped at a red light in front of Bello's Pub, Lena forced her gaze in the opposite direction, terrified of what she may see. As her driver pulled through the intersection and the bar was finally out of sight, Lena let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.
Across the street, Kara was laughing loudly at some story Maggie had just finished about Alex nearly burning down her apartment trying to impress her with a fancy dinner. Alex was just repeating, "It's not that funny!" for about the fifth time when Kara felt her phone vibrate on the table. She quickly turned it over and warmed when she saw Lena's name on the lock screen. She swiped, and her smile fell.
Lena: Terribly sorry. Something came up. Have a nice evening.
Mon-El, standing next to Kara, noticed her quick change in demeanor.
"Everything okay?" he asked quietly, hand on her forearm.
"What? Oh… yeah. It's… fine." Kara responded, eyes never leaving her phone.
Kara replied immediately (with three separate texts and too many emojis), and spent the rest of her night glued to her phone hoping for a reply. It never came.