I dispose of the condom in the bin provided and I dress myself up. I look at Lilian laying naked in the hotel bed and I have to contain the urge of seeking round number 3 in her arms.

"Are you sure you can't stay for a little longer?" her sweet voice asks sending shivers down my spine. The power that woman has on me that I cannot comprehend.

"I'm afraid I have to, Lilian. I have to go back home"

This has been going on for a while. This...relationship. I must admit it is not something that I am proud of, but I can't resist the need to be with Lilian. She satisfies me in ways Bridgette can't.

Don't get me wrong, my sweet wife is what you can describe as perfection. She is talented, beautiful, kind, generous, nice and sweet and everything a man could ever ask for. But she lacks that thing that I seek. Passion I may call it. She is not bad in bed, but I don't feel full if you get what I mean.

Of course I've felt guilty of this secret relationship that I keep from her. And at the start it was supposed to be a one night stand, but after realizing that Lilian and I shared a wonderful connection and that we could work on each other's needs we decided to start a relationship. This has been going on for almost two years, and I can safely say that Bridgette knows nothing about it. And I won't tell her.

"But why not, my love?" I can hear her ask.

Even though I do enjoy having sex with her, I have to say that I do not love her. Our relationship is just physical and that is it. On the contrary I love Bridgette with all my heart, she's my light and my happiness. She's everything to me. I am in love with her.

"I told you not to call me that, Lilian. Remember?"

"Yes, sorry. You still haven't answered my question though"

I sigh. We've had this conversation before.

"I have to go back to my wife and you know that. We cannot make her suspect a thing"

"Yes, I know, I know, but don't you ever get tired of hiding? Don't you want to just tell her the truth?"

"That, I cannot do I'm afraid. It will break her into pieces. I can't do that to her"

"But technically you've already have. She just doesn't know"

I remain silent. She does have a point. But I won't admit it. I must delay the inevitable.

"Just think about it" she says finally to fall back into the covers and face the opposite way of where I am standing.

I grab my last things and I make myself presentable while I leave the room and start heading to my penthouse, where Bridgette might be waiting for me with dinner ready. I cannot wait to get home and see her.

It doesn't take me long to get home and to open the door of our lovely place. The whole penthouse smells like fresh pasta and pesto, and I cannot wait to eat it.

"Hey, cookie. I'm home"

I can hear music coming from the kitchen. She must be there.

"Dinner's ready!" I can hear her say from inside the kitchen while I hang my coat on one of the hangers "make yourself comfortable while I fetch you a plate"

"Okay, princess" I say while I take a seat on the table.

It doesn't take her long to exit the kitchen with two full plates with what seems to be ravioli.

"I made your favorite" Bridgette says while placing one of the plates in front of me.

"That's why you're the best" I murmur while kissing her cheek. Making her giggle like a teenage girl.

"I really hope you like it. It's a new recipe" her adorable voice informs me while sitting in front of me to eat.

"I cannot wait to try it. How's your day been?" I take a bite after asking the question.

"Nothing much today. But I did find something interesting"

"Really? Do tell" I say while chewing "wow. This tastes amazing, love"

"Well I'm glad, I wanted you to really enjoy your last meal cooked by me"

I stop chewing.

What did she say?

"I beg your pardon?" confusion entagles with my words. I must've heard her wrong.

"Don't act like you didn't hear what I just said, Felix. This is my last meal for you from now on you'll be on your own"

"Are you going away somewhere?"

She gives me a simple nod.

"As far away from you as possible" she declares with a smile.

"I... I don't understand"

She gives me a pity smile.

"Believe me, I thought the same when I first found out. But don't worry, you will. Allow me to enlighten you" she pulls out a stack of papers "you will sign these and we will never cross paths again. End of discussion. You won't get to see me, or my cooking or my designs ever again"

I can't understand the words she's saying. Why is she leaving?

"I know about Lilian" she says, like she's read my mind "I've always had. Do you really think I'm that stupid to not notice for 2 years?"

I don't know what to say. Words have suddenly left my brain.

"I..."

"No. Please, let me talk" she begs "I've been waiting for you to leave her for so long. So damn long. And you still haven't. So that's it, that's it for us. This will be goodbye"

"Listen, Brigette. I was going to tell you, I promise. I don't love her, I swear. I just use her for sex... " I say trying to fix things. But it's too late. I know it is when I look at her face.

I shouldn't have said that.

She looks at me hurt. I expect her to yell at me, to slap me, to punch me, to scream. But she's silent. She's disappointed, I can feel it. But not at me, at herself. And there is where I know that I won't be able to win her back even if I tried.

"I wasn't good enough?" her voice sounds so fragile it breaks my soul.

No.

Oh my God. No.

Silent tears role down her cheeks.

"I... Didn't expect that. I thought that you were in love with her and you didn't want to tell me. Or I even expected to hear that she was manipulating you or something. But this... Not this... I..."

I try to reach her hand over the table. She doesn't pull away, she's too busy silently crying to pull away. I need to do something.

"Cookie, listen to me: you are more than enough. You're perfect, goddammit!"

"You fucking liar" hearing her curse makes me jump slightly from my seat "if I was as perfect as you said you wouldn't have run into another woman's arms!"

"But that is my fault. I am the one who was an idiot..."

"For 2 years"

I take a deep breath.

"Yes, 2 years"

"We've been married almost 3 years, Felix"

"I know..."

"Why so long? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I knew you would react this way"

She stands up so fast she makes one of the plates fall. She couldn't care less though.

"Then fucking tell me how to react you fucking bastard. Heh? How am I supposed to react to the fact that the love of my life says than I'm fucking perfect but yet he goes and fucks another woman!"

"Bridgette, please sit. Let's talk about this like the civilized adults that we are"

"No, you're not an adult. You're a stupid fucking teenager who only thinks with his dick. You couldn't care less about my feelings!"

"How can you say that? You're the most important thing to me! Why do you else think I didn't tell you sooner about this? I didn't want to hurt you!"

"Well that went really fucking well, didn't it?" she says letting out a somber chuckle.

I can hear her breathing, she has a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. Her eyes are burning with rage.

"Please, cookie... I'm sorry"

"No you aren't" she mumbles "you never are, because if you were you would've stopped as soon as it started. Ever since I found out about you two, I've tried to be ten times better. Better for you, for the company, for me and I failed... You still went to her every fucking night. And you know what the worst part is? I blame myself, for not treating you well. I did everything in my power to make you the happiest man alive, and I failed..." there's pain in her words. There's anger. There's guilt.

"Princess, that's not true. You've made me the happiest..."

"But it wasn't enough... I'm not enough"

She turns around and takes her purse. She starts heading towards the main door.

"Don't wait for me. Feel free to sign those papers, I give up"

And with that she leaves.

And I'm left alone. With two plates with delicious food that has turned cold.

And I can only think of one thing:

I've lost her.