I am republishing this story because I have found a new inspiration
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Santana had never felt so unwelcomed by Brittany. So distant and alone. She couldn't wrap her head around the idea of Brittany hating her… the idea of Brittany not wanting to be with her. But she received the divorce papers in the mail earlier in the week and still hadn't gotten around to signing them- well, she had stared at them in her office. For hours actually. With a pen in her hand but she just couldn't get herself to sign them.
She wasn't ready to give Brittany up.
She knew what a divorce meant. It meant separate homes and joint custody of Manuela-Nicole. It meant going to sleep without Brittany and waking up without her by Santana's side. It meant long depressing nights and a lot of crying.
She couldn't do it.
She couldn't live like this. Not without Brittany.
Santana had just brought Manuela back from Chuck E cheese and Brittany was currently trying to get the little 4 year old to get up stairs and ready for her bath. But she wouldn't budge. She looked up at her mama with those bright brown eyes and that famous pout of hers and shook her head softly. Letting her wild black curls fly into the air, letting Brittany know she wasn't ready for bed.
"Manuela, baby, it's late. Work with me here." Brittany tried but the younger girl shook her head again.
"Manuela-Nicole Lopez-Pierce," Santana said her voice much harder than Brittany's. Their daughter looked to her mami, her pout still painted on her lips. "Get yourself up those stairs and ready for your bath." Santana's voice wasn't loud, it was actually very low. But it was stern and serious, not soft and begging like Brittany's. "It's not a question or a choice. It's actually an order. Get up the stair, ahora." Manuela nodded her head slowly,
"Will you come up and help me take one, mami?" She asked in a whisper and Santana softened up.
"Si," And with that she ran up the steps.
"You didn't have to be so mean," Brittany says with her arms folded and Santana gives a chuckle,
"Would you have rather stood here for the last two hours trying to get her to listen to you?" It wasn't meant as an insult… but it came out wrong, so Santana tries to change her comment. "Sometimes you don't have to be so nice, Britt. She's four… you have to be harder on her sometimes so she can learn to listen…" Brittany doesn't answer and Santana feels even worse now.
"You should get up stairs and run her bath. Then you can leave."
Then Brittany leaves Santana alone. Like she had done so many times before.
/
Bath time is quiet between Manuela and Santana. The little one lets her mother run the wash cloth over her skin as she plays with her bath toys. But Santana can tell there's something on her mind.
"What's wrong, mija?" Santana asks softly and Manuela takes in a deep breath.
"When are you coming home?" She asks in a whisper of a voice. For the first time since she's been in the tub she looks over to her mother, waiting for an answer. Hoping it will be soon.
"I don't know, Manny." Santana answers honestly. "Mommy's not too happy with me-" Santana pauses and tries to lighten up the mood. "You didn't like my new place?" She asks her daughter with a smile, "I'm not too far away-"
"You're not here either." Manuela states, ignoring Santana's previous question.
"I'm only a phone call away." But Manuela shakes her head.
"I miss you and mommy misses you too." Santana scuffs at that. Brittany doesn't seem to miss her at all, and if she did than the blonde had an awful bad way of showing it. "You're not here to make my lunch or kiss me goodnight anymore, and you're not here to tuck me in or wake me up. You're not here to help me with anything." Manuela shakes her head and pouts again, "I built a really cook house with my Lego's yesterday and you weren't here to see it.
"Maybe mommy can start taking pictures? Hm? And sending them to me so I can see everything I'm missing. And you can call me before you go to sleep and-"
"That doesn't solve much."
"I know it's not the same, baby… but I promise it'll get better. Okay?" Manuela nods her head and gets up as Santana grabs a towel for her to dry off with.
/
Santana has Manuela in bed and sleep in 20 minutes and starts down the stairs to get into her car. But she's stopped when she gets to the bottom by Brittany staring out the window. She walks over to the blonde and stands beside her, watching the snow fall furiously outside. "They said it would start snowing but… damn." Santana whispers. They can't see the road, or much of anything for that matter. All they can make out is white. "I should get going before it gets any worse-"
"You're not going out there!" Brittany practically hollers.
"Britt… I have to go. I have work in the morning." Brittany scuffs and rolls her eyes,
"Are you really so concerned with work that you'd risk your life?"
"I'll be fine-"
"And what if you're not, Santana? What the hell am I going to tell Manuela?" Santana stops and thinks, Brittany's right.
"Well if I can't leave then-"
"You'll stay here." Brittany cuts her off. "We have the guest rooms,"
"Ok… could you bring me some pajama's too… shorts-"
"I know what you need, Santana. We've been married for seven years." That get's Santana to be quiet because Brittany's right again, there's not a thing she doesn't know about Santana. And there's not a single thing Santana doesn't know about Brittany.
/
Brittany's been unusually quiet and Santana doesn't like it. She's not used to Brittany being so awkward and hostile around her. So angry and annoyed even. She's used to being the light of Brittany's day, the cause for her laughter and happiness. Not the cause of her pain and sorrow. But as she watches Brittany do the dishes… she can only see pain. Brittany looks hurt, damaged even.
Still… she's more beautiful than ever. Her blonde hair sitting high on her head in a messy, thrown together in five seconds bun, her sweat pants hanging off her body like a Victoria secret model, exposing her flat stomach and her hip bone. She's gorgeous and there's not a thing Santana wouldn't do for Brittany to forgive her.
Santana loves her and she always will.
"Do you need any help?" Santana asks and Brittany looks up, she tries to ignore how tempting Santana looks in her shorts- literally- they belong to Brittany, and since the blonde is a bit skinnier than Santana it's making them a tab bit too tight for Santana… but with the Latina's shaped body they just look alluring and so sexy. And she didn't have on a shirt. Just a simple black bra that made her chest looks amazing. Brittany swallows and removes her gaze from Santana so she doesn't start to drool.
"No," She says simply and Santana sighs,
"There are a lot of dishes… I could do the pots and pans for you?" Brittany looks around, noticing there is quite a bit of dishes, and she tries to figure how she and Manuela used so many with just the two of them.
"You can get the pots and pans." Santana makes her way to the stove to grab the dirty pots and pans and gets over to the sink to start to wash.
"Britt?" Santana asks quietly and it takes Brittany a while to answer.
"Yeah?"
"Maybe you can come with us next time? I was going to take her to see the good dinosaur next Saturday-"
"I have a date." Brittany blurts it out; it had been heavy on her mind for 2 week now and she needed to tell Santana.
She didn't have to look at the Latina to know that Santana's eyes are piercing into her.
"Excuse me?" Santana's voice is dripping with venom, dripping with anger and regret and at the same time she wants to burst into tears.
"I have a date next Saturday. With a guy-"
"No!" Santana practically shouts, dropping the dishes into the water. "You can't-"
"I'm not your wife anymore, Santana! I can do as I please-"
"The hell you can, Brittany! I didn't sign those papers yet so legally you are still my wife! You're still mines!"
"I don't belong to you-"
"You belong exactly to me." Santana knew how she sounded… possessive and controlling. Over protective and dominating. But it's true; Brittany has always been her girl, her woman, even when she wasn't.
She was always Santana's.
"I've already been out with Aaron."
It's like a punch in the stomach, a slap to the face. Aaron? It's like she's lost all ability to breathe on her own. Santana wants to sink, she wants to sink to the floor and just cry; cry because Brittany's been out with someone that's not her, and that just brings on other horrible, heart bleeding thoughts.
She's allowing someone else to touch her.
Santana's going to throw up. Or die.
She can actually feel her life ending and her sobs starting wreak through her rib cage and out through her chest. She can feel the tears falling.
"Santana-"Brittany tries but Santana screams,
"NO!" Her face is turning colors now, to a redish color like her eyes. "H-has he been around Manuela? Have you had him in the house-"
"No," Brittany answers quickly.
"Where'd you meet him?"
"That's none of your-"
"Where'd you meet him!" It's not a question, like she told Manuela earlier; it's an order for Brittany to tell her. Rather it's her business or not. She needs to know.
"He works with me at the school. He's a 4th grade teacher." Santana's jaw clenches and she keeps her eyes on Brittany who still hasn't looked at her. "He's very nice, Santana-"
"I don't give a damn what he is, Brittany," Her voice is so broken now she can barely even speak.
She doesn't know how people do it. How they can lose the love of their lives and just… move on.
"How long have you been seeing him?"
"Santana-"
"We've only been separated for two months!"
"Santana-"
"Were you cheating on me? I-is is that why you want-"
"NO!" Brittany drops the dishes as well and looks at Santana, "I'd never do that you! EVER!" She whispers loudly, trying to keep her voice down. "And if I was cheating on you… you'd be too wrapped in your work to notice." Santana's whole body calms and her shoulders drop,
"That's what this is about? My career-"
"It's about you not coming home until 2 am because you're working on a case in the office! It's about having to take care of Manuela all by myself because you were at the office! And it's about you ignoring me for the last year so you could make partner! And it's about how I sat up waiting for you on our anniversary and you didn't come home till god knows when! It's about how many times I wondered if you were off with someone else-"
"There's never been anyone else for me, Brittany!" Santana cries, "No one but you…"
"There is something else though, your work-"
"Well excuse me for wanting to give my wife and daughter a good life! Excuse the hell out of me for giving you this big ass house in this nice ass neighborhood and those cars parked in the garage, excuse me for getting you out of Lima-"
"I didn't need any of that!" Brittany shouts, "I needed you, Santana-"
"And you have me! You have all of me…" Santana whispers, "You have anything I can offer to you, Brittany… I-I'll do anything for you and Manuela."Brittany just looks at Santana, exhausted from this argument, "H-Have…" Santana stops, bowing her head. She doesn't want to ask this but a part of her needs to know. "Has he… have you let him-"
"We just met 2 weeks ago, Santana." That's her answer and Santana knows that means no. They haven't had sex. Brittany brushes past Santana and dries her hands off on a paper towel.
"It's getting late and I'm going to bed."
"He doesn't know you like I do," That stops Brittany in her tracks. "He'll never know you like I do, no matter how much he tries, no matter how much you tell him, he won't know."
"I'm not asking anyone to know me like you do because… that's impossible." Brittany whispers, "I'm asking someone to love me like you've been forgetting how to do." And she continues up the stairs.
/
The wind is only picking up throughout the night. Brittany can hear the branches hitting her window. She can hear the air being blown in every which direction.
And it's frightening.
She's always been scared of storms, it didn't matter which type. Anything that made too much noise in the night time she hated.
The branches smacking the window made her jump and Brittany couldn't stop the small tears from falling down her face.
And though she couldn't mask the fact that she was very much angry at Santana… she wanted her here.
She was the only person that knew just how to hold her to make her stop shaking. She knew how to kiss her tears away and whisper that everything was going to be alright. That nothing or no one would ever hurt her because Santana would never allow it.
But Brittany couldn't bring herself to go into the guest room that Santana had picked. She couldn't face the Latina… not like this and not after their argument.
So she sat in her bed and cried alone.
/
Santana knew Brittany was afraid of storms and she knew exactly why.
Her parents died during a thunderstorm.
They were freshmen in college, not too far from Lima but they were happy to be free and on their own. But Santana still remembers the look on Brittany's face when her sister called her that morning, letting Brittany know that it was raining too hard and that her father must have lost control of the car and crashed into a large tree. The police said that the tires slid and both were killed from impact.
Santana expected Brittany to come into the room and cuddle up to her side, but when she didn't the Latina got up and made her way across the hall.
/
She didn't bother to say anything as she entered the room. She could hear Brittany whimpering softly, her cries filling the room. She crawled into the king sized bed and scooted until she found Brittany.
Almost instantly, on reflex, Brittany curled into Santana and let the Latina take her over. She let small arms wrap around her and she cried into Santana's shoulders. But Santana's didn't care, she liked taking care of Brittany. She liked knowing that she would always be the one to know exactly how to take care of her and make her feel better.
So Santana strokes her hair and whispers sweet, gentle and soothing things into her ear as she rubs her back as well. She has to fight the urge to pin Brittany down and make her feel better in… other ways but she knows it wouldn't be right. And if they did end up making love it would be because Brittany's vulnerable right now.
She doesn't want that. Not like this.
But even still the blonde isn't wearing a bra and Santana can tell, she can feel Brittany's bare chest through her night shirt and its driving Santana crazy in the best way possible.
Brittany is still her's and she'll never let her go. Not for anyone.
Especially not some jackass named Aaron.
Brittany's tears have subsided and she's melted into Santana's arms. All the defenses she had up earlier are down and she's allowing herself to be taken by the other woman. She hides her face in Santana's neck as they both lie down and pull the covers up. Santana holds her tighter, her arms like a protective shield and Brittany likes it. She can smell Santana's shampoo and she loves how her dark hair cascades over her shoulders and takes over Brittany's vision. They're both in comfortable silence but neither is sleep. They can't sleep like this.
Santana might as well be naked and it scares Brittany how much she wants her. How much she wants to kiss the women who is beside her. The woman who's done nothing but ignore her for the last year and a half. The woman who's made her question everything about the life they've built. But in this moment she knows she doesn't care. Brittany keeps her arms wrapped around Santana's neck, let's out a soft sigh.
Santana's bare skin in like fire, inviting Brittany in and keeping her so warm and when Brittany feels Santana's hands start to slide around her waist and to her barely covered ass she let's out a groan and practically jumps out of bed. But Santana won't let her because she's holding her so close and so tight it's hard to get away.
"Santana, "It's the first word that either of them speak since Santana got in here an hour ago and it's more of a warning than anything. A warning that Brittany doesn't want to go there… She wants to stay mad and she wants to go through with their divorce and this would just complicate everything. But it also tells Santana that with every fiber of Brittany's being… she wouldn't be able to stop her if they did make love tonight.
Santana's hands are moving, grasping Brittany's backside, her breathing becoming shallow as she starts to think all the things she could do tonight to show Brittany how sorry she really is.
How there is no other woman she could possibly ever want besides Brittany.
"I don't want anyone else touching you," Santana admits in a mummer, her lips making their way to Brittany's tear stained cheek and then down to neck to place a light kiss. "I don't want him touching you." Brittany already knew that, Santana had always been very territorial when it came to her.
"Santana, we might-"
"Damn it, Brittany," Santana whispers harshly, "I said I don't want him touching you, fucking you, loving you, taking care of you-" Brittany can feel Santana's tears streaming down her face and soaking her shoulder. "That's my job."
It get's quiet again and Brittany nods her head, she understands where Santana is coming from but she can't make any promises. But she also knows if Santana ever finds out that she and Aaron slept together that Santana would hunt Aaron down like a dog and make him regret it.
The weather hasn't calmed down one bit but Brittany forgot all about while in Santana's arm.
Santana has Brittany on top of her now, the blonde straddling her pants less, creamy tanned colored thighs and her hands are now under Brittany's panties, gripping her bare ass and making Brittany groan so softly in her ear. Santana tugs them down and Brittany freezes,
They haven't made love, or had sex or barely kissed for a year.
But she can tell Santana is determined to make Brittany her's again.
"Santana," Brittany tries again, her voice soft and desperate because she can't stop the wetness from pooling around her core and she knows Santana felt it when she starts to shiver,
/
"Brittany-"Santana breath is warm and sends chills down your spine and straight to your center.
You've never understood how she could turn you on so much without doing much. You can feel your nipples hardening and so can Santana because she pulling your panties further down your legs, trying to get them out of her way.
"We shouldn't…" You try but Santana just licks and kiss at the soft spot on your neck. The spot that makes your eyes shut softly. "We-we can't-"
"Yes we can," She whispers into your neck. "Your panties are soaked," Santana licks your neck again and you tremble a bit. "Your scent is so strong,"
Your heart rate picks up at Santana's words; and so does the throbbing between your legs. You missed this Santana. The Santana that wants nothing more than to please you in ever way possible. The Santana that turns you on like she was born to do just that.
"We have work in the morning," You argue in a short breath and Santana pauses, her mind conflicted. But it is late, about 4 am and you both have to out the house damn early.
When her fingers slip down between your legs and work their way around your clit and down to your entrance you shudder. You moan. You lose your breath and your control to even stand on your knees as you allow yourself to stumble slightly and crash into Santana. Her fingers are coated and lets out a sigh as well.
She missed you.
Your blue eyes are locked on her brown as she continues to work, but you're confused now because you know Santana and you know she can do better than this. She's touching you… but you know her purpose isn't for you to feel good.
So when she pulls her fingers back, bringing them to her lips and letting them slip into her mouth you moan softly. She sucks you off her fingers, savoring your taste; her tongue gliding over her skin and you can't think straight anymore. She gives a whimper, her eyes never leaving yours as she pulls her fingers from her mouth.
You're not sure what she'll do next… but when her hands tightens around your wrist and guides your fingers to her stomach your breath gets caught in your throat again. She helps you slide your fingers down and into her panties and when you feel her slick, so wet, and so warm arousal you moan out loud and so does she. When your fingers are coated she pulls them away and puts your hand to your lips, without hesitation, you immediately take your own fingers into your mouth and watch as she watches you.
You groan at the taste, it's so familiar and so good.
It makes you dizzy but it makes you want more.
More of her. More of her.
But you can't deny how angry you are, how upset you are. Or how
When you're done she pulls you down to the bed and pulls you back into her, her arms wrapping around you tightly again, not letting you find the panties that she threw somewhere on the ground.
"You're right, it's time for bed."
/
Please tell me what you all think and I will get started on chapter 2 : )
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