-Perfection-
Francine's snobby, rude, spiteful and diva-like. Arrogance glosses her image like the shiny rhinestones glued to her skirt and nails- that murky shade of amber glinting in the self-satisfaction when she degrade people, mock them, humiliate and laughs at their failed attempts to be like her.
None of them is perfect like her. She must be perfect for daddy, he wants her to give him the best and she will- she is the best. Perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect outfit… what is not perfect about her? She is the best in her school. Beautiful nails, beautiful outlook- better than any other girls. ''Like ew, who wants to ever go out with a loser like you? No one, now get lost.'' She meant every word of it because it's true, they're not beautiful like her, not smart enough or glamorous for anyone to find them attractive.
It had taken her years to build the mold of perfection, this mold of beautifulness on the outside.
But then, daddy never seemed to notice it.
No one does.
She worked hard to create this image of perfection, yet no one notices. Francine is top of her class and praised by most teachers, which mean she is the best!
''Gotten an A? That's good, but work for an A+ if possible. Oh, sorry sweetie I can't take you today because I'm really busy… maybe another time.''
It's always have been another time.
She wonders what will happen if her grades dropped, but that'll never happen since she is little-miss-perfect. ''Huh? Yeah, yeah… you look pretty.'' Then he would walk away with a phone attached to his ear. Francine wonders is it really worth maintaining her perfection for daddy to notice- for others to notice her.
Yet no one does.
With this perfection that he expects from her worth it? Worth being ignored and avoided?
She is perfect. Them, her classmates, aren't… they're losers, yet they don't seem to care. ''No one wants to be around you because you're so mean and rude and snobby and make everyone feel bad about themselves!'' Francine watches as Yo stomps away in an angry manner. Francine knew being perfect would have some side effects but she'll get over it, at least, that's what she always told herself. It still hurts though; being perfect in the eyes of the adults, however deal with the rejection of everyone else.
Sometimes being perfect isn't easy, especially with a father who wants more, who expects higher than average. ''I am so disappointed in you Francine! An C? Really? Your highest skill is in English yet you give me this?'' He slaps the paper on the desk; a loud flap echoed the office room. The only time he will give her the attention she craved- better than none at all. ''Why didn't you ask Mr. Butterman to help you?'' His voice, stern and angry… most of all, disappointment.
''I don't know, I just didn't bother to ask.''
''Bother to ask? This is an easy test that even Kindergarteners would accomplish eyes closed! But you didn't take your time and rush through it without caring. I expect better of you Francine, but you disappointed me enough times. Take your graded papers and go to your room to study those questions you've failed.'' He went back to his seat to stare at some business bank papers, not once taking a glance at her.
She took the papers and went to her room silently. Perfection isn't easy, not once at all.
Dealing rejection from other girls. They invite all girls, excluded her, to a sleepover or a party. Sometimes Francine wished she could be invited, but that's not perfection.
Working hard to be beautiful- do you know it taken her one hour just to straighten and shine her bangs? Being gorgeous takes work, however it's all for nothing, huh?
Francine thrown the homework to the ground after closing her door, she then flops on the bed and dug her face into the pillow, sobbing. This is the only space where she can live in imperfection, only time she can be like a regular girl with emotions and feelings. It hurts being rejected by all- by daddy, after all the work she'd done, the years taking time to impress him- he never notices.
Why does she keep thriving? Keeps craving for someone to praise her besides those dumb teachers? To constantly upheld this façade of perfection?
''You always have to be the best, to be higher than average and make yourself known as the best… people then acknowledge you.''
She tried. Tried being the best than average, tried letting her classmates know Francine is the best. What is the outcome? Nothing.
Francine tried controlling her ushering, fat tears- but she can't stop, instead, presses her face against the pillow while tears seeps through the fabric. The moment of perfection isn't here- in fact, imperfection vibed throughout the room. Only in this room can she be herself, can be imperfect with pride… to be normal.
Daddy wouldn't approve. Francine decided not to care.
This is her only moment where the wall of perfection crumbles, and she didn't mind at all.