Chapter one: Dear God.

CraigPointOfView

Dear God,

I have no fucking idea why I'm writing this. Guess I'm just desperate. Desperate enough to be an athiest writing a letter to God. Whatever.

I need you. Do your magical miracle thing you seem to be so known for. I want him back. I can't go on without him, as cheesy as that sounds. It's fucking true.

But of course, you wouldn't even do that to begin with because I'm gay. Whatever.

I just can't believe he doesn't believe I love him...He's my other half.

...Right now, I'm sitting in some alleyway using some crumpled up piece of paper I found, and a sharpened down pencil that's been in my pocket for who knows how long.

When he left me, did he not know that I had nowhere to fucking go? No home to go back to because I was thrown out of mine two months ago? Did he honestly think that I have a purpose in life without him? I have nothing. He was my reason to live...and now...I'm just sitting here waiting to die. I prefer the slow kind of death... the one where i'd just slowly shut down from starvation. Not the obvious simple knife-to-heart thing, etc. I love Stan...And always will.

Please. Bring him back. Give my life some purpose again.

-Craigafer Randolph Tucker

I ripped up the letter, knowing "God" won't do shit for me.

A shaky breath left my lips.

My fucking sanity depends on Stan. Now that he's gone...I have nothing. No reason to live.

Nothing.

I need help. I'm going to go fucking insane without him. Fuck, I'm insane already. I've never felt so fucking weak. Okay...maybe when I still lived with my abusive father...But even that. It's a different kind of weak. This...I just feel nothing. Nothing at all.

I could feel a wetness dripping from my eyes, followed by sobs spilling out from my chest. I can't believe I'm crying. Stan, good fucking job. You made the almighty invincible emotionless Craig Tucker cry. You deserve a freaking medal.

...I'm breaking down without him. I really fucking do need help. A therapist won't do shit. No..I need something more...

The South Park Mental Institution.

Yes. I need that. Nothing will help me. I need a straitjacket.

Then I started laughing. I couldn't control it...the laughs were mixing in with the sobs. I stood up, stumbling a bit and headed towards the asylum.

He made me insane.

StanPointOfView

Did I make the wrong move breaking up with Craig? Was it a mistake? The last few seconds I saw him...he looked like he was trying not to cry.

I bit my lip, holding back tears myself.

"He hurts you." Dylan's voice rang through my head. Dylan's loved me ever since I joined up in the small group of goth kids back in 4th grade. He's just never said anything until not too long ago. Anyway, he's right...Craig did hurt me. Physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually. But. He didn't mean it. He never meant it. He was always drunk when he did that. Dylan thinks that if Craig really loved me, he wouldn't have drinken to begin with.

...I refuse to tell Dylan the reason why Craig drinks.

I'm the only one who knows why. I'm the only one Craig could trust with the secret. It's all because his father used to hurt him. Worse than he did to me. I've seen the evidence. The blood stains. The bruises. The cuts, burns...everything. He started to drink vodka to numb the pain...And that just got him addicted...and now...he can't stop drinking it whenever he gets stressed. And that's the reason why I've been able to forgive him...every time...

However... it would be nice to not get hurt for once...so... maybe it was a good choice. I really don't know anymore...

My phone soon vibrated in my pocket. I took it out, and looked at the screen. Dylan. He texted me. It read:

Did u finally break up with that emofag?

I grimaced, pressing the buttons to text back.

Yeah. He looked really upset. Like he was going to cry or something. I think it might've been a mistake to break up with him.

Sent.

I waited a few minutes before not getting a reply. I tossed my phone over to the couch, and sat over near it. I began thinking over the whole break up.

"Craig..." I bit my lip, watching him walk into the house after having detention at school. I was going to do it. I was going to break up with him today.

"Yeah?" He plopped down onto the couch, propping his feet up on the small coffee table.

I avoided looking at him, keeping my eyes on the floor. "Do you...appreciate me?"

"What?"

I looked up into his beautiful blue-gray eyes, easily able to get lost in them. I came back into reality. "...Do you appreciate the things I do for you." It sounded more like a statement. "When was the last time you even said thank you for something I did?"

He eyed me, his gaze looking through my soul. "The other day when we almost broke up and you decided to keep me even though it was the third time I cheated on you."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he said thank you to that. "Any time before that?"

"...What else is there to thank you for? You really haven't done anything for me."

That. Got me heated. I could feel my face turning red in anger. "Anything I haven't donw for you?" I yelled, voice higher than usual. "I give you money for whatever you want! Food included! And guess what! It's all off MY fucking paycheck! I gave you somewhere to fucking live after your asshole of a father kicked you out! I've forgiven you countless times for causing our relationship problems! I've done absolutely EVERYTHING for you. And you know what else? I take the fucking abuse you decide to dish out on me when you get drunk, because I feel bad for your ass. And what do I get from you? Not even a thank you! I get nothing! N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Why the hell do you even love me, huh? Because I do shit for you and will love you no matter what you do? Is it because I'm the only one who gives a shit about you and no one else will bother to? So you know what? I'm fucking speaking up for once, and setting shit straight. I'm done with your ignorance. Dylan was right. You're a fucking heartless asshole." I took a deep breath after my rant, only to see Craig's eyes slightly watery. What...did I just do...

"Fine." His voice was a bit uneven. "Wanna break up?" He stood up, walking over to the door. "Just hope you know I'm fucking nothing without you, cunt." He left, slamming the door in his path.

My phone vibrating the couch cushion for me out of my daydream. Dylan finally decided to text me back.

That slut deserves whatever he gets.

I took a deep breath, silently wihing I had Craig back. He doesn't deserve anything bad...nothing was his fault...