Hey guys! So I wanted to write something while i'm thinking up dares for my other truth or dare fic and this just popped into my head. It's probably not very good because its super late and i'm half asleep but i'm going to post it anyways! It has major character death and suicide, so if these things bother you, I recommend you don't read it! I wanted to write some other stories but I'm out of ideas, so if any of you have some you could post it would really help me out! Comments and constructive criticism are much appreciated as are any truth or dare ideas for my other fanfic, but please no flames! You can also send me an email at xfanfictionloverx ! Now, no one probably reads these author notes anyway, so i'm just going to get to the story!
Magnus never thought of how hard it would be. He always just pushed the thought away and tried to ignore the ever present fear in the back of his mind. Now, as he sat on the railings of the Brooklyn Bridge (Sorry, that's the only bridge in Brooklyn I know :D) under a spell so no one would see him, he started to rethink his decision. Perhaps if he thought about it, imagined what it would be like if it happened and what he would do after, would somehow help brace himself for it. Maybe then he wouldn't be sitting on the railings of a bridge debating whether or not he should end his eight hundred year life. And yet, in the back of his mind he knew nothing would ever have helped brace himself for this agonizing heartbreak that hurt so bad he was afraid his heart would rip in two.
It was almost amusing, he thought. To have lived for more than eight hundred years, had his heart broken countless times, watched those he loved die, and been ridiculed and judged for who he was since he oped his young cat eyes, here he was going to end his life just because a mortal he loved died. It still kept replaying in his mind over and over, nearly driving him into insanity. Or perhaps it already had. The images just kept following him everywhere, in his waking thoughts and dreams, and they wouldn't go away no matter what he did, parties he threw, or how much he drank. He could see them now as if they were happening, images of Alec lying there on the ground in a pool of his own blood, ravener stinger sticking out of his side, and lifeless blue eyes gazing up at him.
He thought back to all the plans that they made. They were going to get married. He remembered how Alec had taken his hand and gotten down on one knee as Magnus sat on the park bench. Alec had tried to make a speech but ended up just giving up and asking him to marry him, stuttering and blushing all the while. Magnus had wanted to propose but was afraid he would scare Alec off, so it came as a great but welcome surprise as Alec had asked him. As Magnus got over his shock he registered the uncertainty that rested in those bright blue eyes and wishing to disperse it, said yes immediately, smiling as he watched those blue eyes get impossibly brighter. The memory almost made him smile.
He thought back to the day they discussed children. They obviously couldn't have any because they where both boys and warlocks were sterile, but Magnus had tried to casually mention adopting as they both sat on the couch, feet intertwined, while they watched project runway. Alec had admitted that he thought about it before and how he had always secretly longed for children ever since Max died, but was afraid he would not be a good enough parent. Magnus had comforted him and assured him that he thought he would be a great father. After Alec's fears had almost fully diminished they decided that they would adopt someday. They were going to adopt a boy and name him Max.
Now Magus thought of how they would never get to do either. And really what was the point of living if his shadowhunter wasn't there to live with him? Staring into the deep blue water below, he finally made his decision. Maybe somehow, if there was such thing as an afterlife, he would get to see Alec again. He stood up on the railing.
If one was close enough, they would have heard a faint whisper in the cool night air, "I'll see you soon, my love." As Magnus jumped off into the abyss below.