Hey guys. This story came from Grey's Anatomy, it was originally an interchange between Callie and Erica but I changed it around a little bit a put a Degrassi spin on it. I thought it was hilarious, so I decided I would share it with all of you - you lucky bunch!
I own nothing.
We usually know what we're doing, and when we don't, we still act like we do. Walking boldly into undiscovered territory, we plant a flag and start ordering people around.
"Do you want to go on a date with me?" Alex asked, putting her hand on the small of Paige's back.
It's invigorating. And terrifying.
"Like a…date, date?"
"Yeah, you know, a restaurant, candlelight, bottle of wine. At the end of the night I try to take your clothes off."
"Oh, uh okay." She laughed nervously. "That would be a date."
"Kinda" Alex winked at her.
"Yeah."
--
Paige was walking down the street when her phone rang. "Hello."
"Hey, looks like I'm going to be at work until 7, is 8 to late for dinner?"
"No, but if you need to reschedule or cancel…"
"Come on, are you kidding me? I made a reservation at Sotto Sotto. I even gamed out an outfit. And we both know me getting dressed up, it doesn't happen very often. Consider yourself lucky." Paige could hear Alex's smile at the other end of the phone. "We are so doing this."
Paige hung up the phone. What had she gotten herself into?
Later that day Paige was mindlessly pacing the kitchen of her apartment when Ellie walked in.
"Hey, what's up? You seem all … awkward and fidgety like."
"Um, I, uh, I'm going on a date… with Alex Nunez. And that's awkward, and scary, but kind of exciting, but she's a she. And uh, there's been kissing, but no touching, and what if I'm not into it? What if…what if I'm horrible at all that… stuff, south…of the border. Cause I've never been… south of the border, with a female. I mean, I've never even been over the, uh, northern mountains, you know what I'm saying?"
Ellie stared blankly at Paige in disbelief. Paige suddenly realized what she had said, and who exactly she had said it to.
"Um, yeah. We're going to pretend this never happened, okay hun?"
Paige quickly left the run, leaving her roommate frozen, shocked and dumbfounded. Ellie thought to herself, 'What the fuck was that?'
A few hours later, Ellie found Paige leaning against the kitchen counter, still looking quite perplexed. She approached Paige.
"I don't take about sex - with anyone."
"Please. Let's just pretend I didn't say a word, okay? Can we just go back to ignoring each other, like we always do?"
"I don't take about sex with anyone, ever, not any kind of sex."
"Ellie, I am begging you here. Please, just…"
"Zzz, shhhh, stop." Ellie paused for a second, closed her eyes, sighed and …"The vajay-jay is…undiscovered country. It is the motherland. You've never travelled there; you don't know its customs or its ways. Now, me, I've always wanted to go to, say, Africa. It's discovered, I know what to expect. But if I go, I'm going to have to learn a few things first. I'm gong to have to… prepare. I'm going to need shots. Bring my own syringes in case something goes wrong. And I'll definitely want to know how to get to the embassy. And I'll..."
"Whoa, k, you've lost me."
Ellie was not liking this - at all. Did she have to spell it out for her?
"Just talk about it." Paige looked at her, smirking. "Not with me, with the, uh, the other one. Just talk about the rules, expectations, and figure out how to gracefully demure if you find out that you don't like the, uh" Ellie was a little lost here for a second, "if you don't like the…the local cuisine! You know, in Ethiopia they eat stew off of spongy sour bread." She said, matter of factly.
Paige thought about this for a second.
"That's not for everyone." Ellie said, pointing at her. She smiled, proudly as if she had done her duty as Paige's 'friend', or whatever. Then she turned around and quickly walked back into her room.
Paige laughed inwardly to herself. 'My God, did that just happen?'
--
Paige walked into the restaurant and spotted Alex. She looked beautiful, all dressed up. Her dark raven hair was down, and she was wearing her trademark hoop earrings. She had seemingly spent some time applying a bit of makeup, which was a rare thing in Alexland. Paige sighed, caught her breath and headed towards the table.
Alex saw Paige approaching. She was looking rather stern and stiff, almost upset. Paige sat at the table and adjusted her dress.
"Uh, you okay there. You look like you got something on your mind."
"We need to have rules." Paige spat out.
"What?"
"Rules. Yeah, we need rules. About how we're going to deal with the, uh, mother land. Because it's undiscovered country and maybe, just maybe it'll be the best vacation either of us has ever had…but it's mysterious, and dark, and there should be rules." She took a sip of Alex's water. "Oh, and an embassy." Another sip. "And a 'safe' word."
Alex looked at Paige, stunned and completely confused, "I'm sorry. What the hell are you talking about?"
Paige looked around to make sure no one was watching them, and whispered, "Below the border, of, you know, your pants!"
Paige was beyond embarrassed now, but she had come this far and noticed that Alex was listening to her, and actually taking her seriously, so she continued, somewhat more earnestly this time.
"I'm not sure I'm ready to go there. I'm sorry."
Alex laughed. "Me neither." Alex tried this new…vocabulary… on for size. "There's lots of 'undiscovered territory' above the belt. We could explore that, stop at the embassy for a while if you want, you know, take it slow."
Did Alex Nunez just say they would take it slow? But she continued - this was obviously important to Paige. "You know, maybe just first base?"
Paige looked at Alex blankly then let out a relieved sigh. "Huh, okay. Thank you. Sorry."
Alex laughed, shaking her head. "Finish my wine." Paige took the glass from Alex and willingly chugged it. "I'm going to look at the menu for a minute while your blood pressure drops back down to normal."
Paige all of a sudden realized how special Alex was to understand that outrageously confusing, rambling excuse of a conversation they just had.
"Alex"
"Paige"
"Maybe second base too?"
Over! K, hope you liked it! Please read and review - feedback is key!