I Will Be Strong

AN: This one was written because I've kind of gotten tired of reading fics in which X dies and Y commits suicide after elaborating on how much his/her death affected her/him. I'm sure other people have written something like this, too, but eh... thinking of doing it with all my favourite couples. What do you say?

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. All characters belong to Ms. Rumiko Takahashi.

I didn't want to believe you were dead.

Even when I held your head in my arms, even when I heard your strained pants cease, I didn't believe it. Denial was inevitable. How could I possibly grasp the fact that my pillar of strength was gone? My protector, my saviour, my friend, my love. You were everything to me.

You still are.

It was horrific, though. Feeling your blood-matted hair against my skin – the stickiness of the blood remained with me days after I'd washed all traces of it away. How I'd loved your hair. So pristine and white – and, of course, they complemented your best features. Your ears.

It was strange... while you were lying in my lap, taking your last breaths, for a few moments, I only wanted to stroke your ears. You'd never let me do that, and I wanted to. For a minute, I forgot that you were dying.

That minute didn't last long enough.

I think about you every day. How happy you would have been to see Sango and Miroku's blossoming family. How happy you would have been to know that Kikyo moved back to the village to share priestess duties with her younger-yet-older sister. How happy you would have been that I stayed.

When Kikyo died – her souls just ran out, and her soul stealers were no more – it was agony. I never thought I would mourn her so badly. Hadn't I always been jealous of her? But it was like losing one more part of my memories of you. Kikyo and I both loved you so much, and to lose her... it was like losing a part of myself. It was losing a part of myself.

I cried that night, and many nights after that.

When you died, I thought of joining you. After all, we'd defeated Naraku – someone else would make a wish on the jewel, or keep it safe. It was no longer my responsibility, that was what I thought. I wanted to be with you always – I promised – and I couldn't stand the thought of living without you.

But then I thought, why should I do such a cowardly thing? I don't need to be weak and succumb to fear. Living without you is hard – I knew it would be – but not impossible. It seemed impossible at first. But I have made it.

Are you proud of me? Are you glad I didn't give up? Or are you upset that I chose not to remain by your side any longer?

No, not possible.

I've taken the first step, I think, towards inner strength. I hope one day to be as strong as you were.

I love you, InuYasha.

AN: 449 words. Major twisting with the canon plotline. I actually like this idea. If I continued, it'd be something like this:

Kagome over InuYasha's death(this one)

InuYasha over Kagome' death

Winry over Edward's death and vice-versa

Maybe Serena over Darien's death and vice-versa... I'd try a Jaden/Alexis or a Mikan/Natsume, but I'm not sure how those would come out...