Loose Lips: The Amazing Cursing Boy!
WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE!
p.s. its kinda weird. But I thought it would be funny. I know this is going to make someone mad...xD
Early in the morning at Stormalong Harbor, young Flapjack arose from the mouth of his keeper, Bubbie. He let out a yawn and skipped to the end of the docks. The ocean waves were blue and green and every colour in between. With a deep breath he jumped in the water. He swam and played and eventually emptied his bladder. He whent d eep underneath to swim with the fishes and jumped over the waves with the dolphins. He continued to do so, untill it became later in the afternoon. He came out to go find his best friend, Captain K'nuckles. He walked the docks untill he seen him talking to the fruit stand man. They appeared to be arguing.
"Look, you and that kid of your need to stop stealing my fruit! I don't want to have to call the police again..." The fruit man said.
K'nuckles temper was shining.
"Well your fruit tastes liek shit!" He yelled. Flapjack watched in awe.
"Look, I will sell it to you. Just return the favor pal."
"I can do whatever the fuck I want! And that doesnt include buying fruit from an ass-apple liek you. I'm going to take this orange and theres nothing you can do about it! So long fucker!" K'nuckles took a handful of fruit to run off with but he spotted Flapjack watching him with wide eyes.
K'nuckles looked nervous.
"Uh...Flap. How long have you been standing there?"
Flapjack smiled "Long enough..."
"Did you hear me say anything?"
"Yes!" He said with a giggle.
"Flapjack...those were uh...Sailor words. Sailors use them to sound more tough. And you know how tough I am Flapjack."
"Yes. Yes I do."
"So...uh. yeah. I'm going to go steal more things. I'll see you later."
Flapjack laughed. He ran off and ended up at the Doctor Barbers shop.
"Why young Flapjack. Yes. Have you come for some surgery? Or perhaps a nice haircut?"
Flapjack giggled.
"Your haircuts look liek shit!" He said. Then he quickly ran off loudly laughing. So ignorant that he has no idea what he is saying.
Doc Barber stood speechless.
"Did that just come from that kids mouth?" He said.
Flapjack ran inside the Candy Barrel. He walked up to the bar and took a handful of Butterscotch from the inventory.
Peppermint Larry fused.
"Flapjack! What do you think your doing? You cant steal those! Put them back right now!"
Flapjack was trying so hard to hold in laughter.
"I can do...whatever the fuck I want!" He said, then ran off with the butterscotch. Peppermint Larry was in shock.
"Should I wash his mouth out with soap?" He said to himself.
He laughed and laughed and laughed as he enjoyed his new sailor words. He approached a large muscular man. Flapjack stopped and looked up at him. He eyes widened.
The man looked down at him.
"You got three seconds before I turn you into a piece of fish food little boy."
Flapjack laughed.
"Oh, hush ass-apples." He said. He ran off leaving the man bewildered.
"Ass-apples?" He looked confused. Flapjack ran home to Bubbie who as always was there waiting for him.
"Oh Hello, Flapjack. How was your day?"
"My day was just wonderful." He said.
"I'm glad to hear that baby. But where is that K'nuckles at?" She said.
"I don't know. The last time I seen him he was calling the fruit stand owner a ass-apple."
Bubbie turned white. Her pupils shrunk.
"Then he said his fruit taster liek something called shit. Then that he could do whatever the..uh fuck he wanted. Then he stole fruit and ran off. It was pretty funny Bubbie. Bubbie? Are you okay?"
Bubbie was pale as snow and her face was small.
"Bubbie needs to be alone for a while." She whent underwater. Flapjack was puzzled.
"Was it something I said?" Bubbie emerged and her face was bright red. She looked angry.
"Bubbie you look angry..."
"Flapjack! If I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again! You will in serious trouble young man!" She yelled.
"Which word are you talking about Bubbie?"
"You know what words I'm talking about Flapjack!" She yelled.
"Was it ass-apple?" He said.
"Flapjack!!" She yelled.
"Oh! It was shit!" He said.
"Agh!!!" Bubbie fused.
"NO! NO! IT WAS FUCK WASN'T IT!!!" Flapjack said.
Bubbie stared at him with angry eyes. She was shaking in fury.
"NOOO! NO BUBBIE! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Flapjack was balling his eyes out inside Bubbie.
"Hush you potty-mouth. You're grounded. You can't leave untill I say so.
"BUT I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE BAD WORDS!!!" He yelled.
"Well now you do." Bubbie said. Flapjack cried and kicked and screamed fot the longest time. He eventually calmed down. He sat down with his head in his knees. He didnt talk fot a while. Bubbie began to feel bad for how harsh she was.
"Flapjack. Are you okay?" She said.
"Yes." Flapjack said with a whine.
"Flapjack I'm sorry I was so sharp with you. But baby, you really shouldnt be talking liek that. YOur too sweet. Now I'm going to let you go out and play but you have to promise me you wont ever use those words again. Okay?"
"Okay. I pinky-promise." Flapjack stuck out his little pinky and wrapped it around Bubbies uvula.
He hopped out and walked to town. He saw K'nuckles and ran up to him.
"Hey Captain." He said.
K'nuckles looked at him.
"Flapjack! Have you heard about that kid that going around cursing at everyone?"
"No.."
"Well word on the street is some little boy is giving everyone here a salty lip. I wanna find him and shake his hand!"
Flapjack laughed. His laughter was harshly interuptted by the loud footsteps of a muscular stranger. Flapjack and K'nuckles both froze in fear.
It was the muscular man from earlier. He gave Flapjack a deathly stare.
"Are you the kid that called me ass-apples." He said.
Flapjack frowned. "Yes...sir. That was me." He said.
The man leaned forward. His fist was looking liek it was going to give Flapjack a firm punch. Flapjack was shaking in fear.
"There's only one thing I gotta say." He said. He suddenly smiled and began to shake Flapjacks hand.
"Way to go kid. Its always nice to see such a brave young adventurer using his loose lips. You're all right." He pat Flapjack on the head and walked off. K'nuckles was awe-struck.
"It was you? You're Loose Lip?" He said.
"I guess I am!" He said quickly forgetting the incident with Bubbie.
"You know what this means Flapjack?" K'nuckles said.
"Tell me what this means!" Flapjack smiled.
"It means we can pay people for you to curse at them! You're so cute they will love it!" K'nuckles spotted a lady walking.
"Hey Flapjack..Go over to that lady and.."He began to whisper in Flapjacks ear. He laughed.
"Ay-aye Captain." He walked over to the lady. SHe stopped and smiled at Flapjack.
"Well arent you just as cute as a basket of puppies." She said.
Flapjack laughed.
"You're a whore!" He said. The lady stopped smiling.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me you harlot! Your a dirty whore! Why don't you go to the gentlemens club you tramp!" He said.
(Keep in mind, Flapjack has no idea what he is saying.)
The woman began to giggle.
"Well arent you just a cute little scoop of ice-cream." She pat him on the shoulder and walked away.
K'nuckles burst into tears of laughter. He slapped his knee and rolled on the ground.
"K'nuckles what do those words mean?" He said.
"I told you boy, there Sailor words!" He said.
"Ohhh!" Flapjack laughed.
"Boy! We gotta show you to the whole town!" K'nuckles said.
"Come one, Come all! See Loose Lips! The Amazing Cursing Boy! He'll curse you into a hole!" K'nuckles stood before a stage with people gathering around. They looked interested.
"See the Amazing Cursing Boy..Flapjack!" Flapjack emerged from behind the curtains. People gasped. Flapjack had a big smile on his face.
People began to clap. Flapjack looked at K'nuckles.
"Okay Flapjack just do what I told you." Flapjack nodded.
"Hi friends! My names Flapjack!" He said. He waved innocently and his eyes glowed with friendliness. Suddenly he smiled deviantly and jumped to the front of the stage.
"Salutations, fuckers!" He said. People gasped.
"What the hell is going on here?" He said. K'nuckles was laughing so hard his hat fell off.
"I'snt this a shitty town? I mean, what is with all the stupid fuckers hanging around all the time? Can't these assholes get a job?" He said.
People were laughing. Flapjack continued to go on.
"I mean, this town is so full of so many damn harlots and hookers, no wonder no ones married!" He said.
"You know whose a real tramp? That dirty rotten candy wife of Larrys!" Flapjack yelled.
Larry looked at his wife.
"Candy wife? Is this true?" He looked and she had her arm around a pirate.
"But before I go friends I have one last thing to say." He turned around. The people gazed at him. He suddenly turned around and with both of his hands flaunted the middle finger and laughed.
"Go to hell you no good sons of bitches!" He laughed.
Everyone in the audience laughed and cheered and clapped. Pople were tossing coins at Flapjack. He took a bow. The people in the crowdds faces turned to frowns as a shadow appeared over Flapjack. K'nuckles froze and frowned.
A deep voice hissed "Flapjack..." He turned around and it was looked extremlely angry.
"Hi Bubbie..." Bubbie pulled out a bar of soap.
"Flapjack...K'nuckles...You in big trouble." She growled.
Flapjack and K'nuckles both gulped and both muttered...
"OH, Fuck."
The end. (: