AN: I'm back! Yay! This is my first published story in a few years. Life has been, well, life, so it took me a very long time to get this story down. This is a finished work and will be updated frequently.
Warning: I do not ship Tony and Ziva. If you don't like that, please don't complain. You've been warned. I don't Ziva bash, I just prefer them as partners and friends, not lovers.
I do not claim any gain from writing this, as I obviously do not own any NCIS material. This goes for all chapters of this fanfic, so I don't have to keep posting this over and over.
I know that that this doesn't quite fit in with the canon timeline, since Internal Affairs aired seven months after Bury Your Dead. However, since this story changes canon anyway, I hope you'll forgive the artistic license. For the sake of this fanfic's continuity, the events in Internal Affairs (S5E14) occur in January rather than April and Judgment Day never happened.
Life in the past year had not been kind to Tony DiNozzo. He'd lost his boss, who came back without a word of appreciation to an intact and cohesive team, he'd suffered through the stress of living a double life and nearly losing both of them. He'd even given up a woman that he knew he could marry. Then there were the work stresses, the case load, having to deal with lying to Jeanne at least one more time, even though she'd been trying to pin her father's murder on him.
So it wasn't a surprise that he'd actually put in to use two weeks of his accrued vacation. Gibbs had barely raised an eyebrow when Tony laid the request forms on his desk; he'd signed them without a word. Ziva and McGee hadn't heard yet, but he was sure that they would rejoice to have two weeks completely Tony-free.
DiNozzo hid a grin. He knew that Abby thought she'd pulled one over on him by taking a week of vacation to coincide with his, but he had friends in HR who kept him apprised of little things like that. Having a week to lose himself to the carefree companionship of Miss Abby Sciuto was a pleasure he was definitely looking forward to.
The movies were already stacked on his coffee table, waiting for them. The fridge was stocked with beer and Abby's favorite drinks – Caf-Pow spiked with Jack Daniels (Tony shuddered at that combination, but it was so much fun to watch her get buzzed on those), and he had the pizza and the Chinese place both on speed dial. Tonight was set.
He sat at his desk, feet kicked up on the corner as he contemplated shooting rubber bands across the aisle at Ziva. Gibbs rolled his eyes as he surreptitiously watched the byplay, but he did nothing to stop it. Tony let one rip, snorting as it not only hit the top of Ziva's bent over head, but stuck in her hair. She looked up at Tony with a glare that had withered hardened criminals, but her partner just smiled broadly and waved.
"Not now, Tony," she said, a definite growl in her voice.
"I have twenty minutes to kill until time to go home, and unlike some people, I have my work done."
"It doesn't help that you didn't fire rounds this last case, Tony. Then you'd be stuck with just as much paperwork as we are," McGee groused.
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, McProbie. Who do you think files the supervisor's reports whenever rounds are expended?" There was a definite gloat to the senior field agent's voice as they both looked at Gibbs, who frowned and glared at Tony.
"Maybe I need to delegate more of my work your way, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, trying to hold the grin at bay as he indulged in some rare and subtle teasing of his junior agents. "That'll give you enough to keep you busy and keep the rubber bands out of David's hair."
She gasped and put her hand to her head, feeling for the offending object. Slamming it down on her desk, she rose to her feet. "Knock it up, Tony!"
All three men snorted and tried to contain their laughter at her slip of the tongue. "That's off, not up," McGee corrected, trying to dodge her fierce look.
"Whatever!"
"DiNozzo, go check with Abby before you leave. That should get you out of harm's way, and allow these guys to concentrate on their work." Gibbs waited until McGee and Ziva had turned their attention back to their computers before allowing a half-smile to ease onto his face. "Have a good time."
"See you in two weeks," Tony said, ignoring the startled stares as he skipped back to the elevator. He really needed to take vacation more often; the release he felt right then was intoxicating. No more blood and guts for two whole weeks, well, at least none that wasn't Hollywood faked. Or Bollywood, he amended silently as he got in the elevator. Abby had developed some strange craving for foreign films lately.
Since she had her music at her normal volume level, deafening, he was able to slip up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. "Guess who– " he huffed out, winded by the elbow to the stomach.
"I've told you not to do that!" she said, whirling around and stamping her foot. "You always get hurt, but you just keep doing it."
Tony smiled. "But I just can't help it."
She relented with a grin of her own. "Reynolds's team just dumped a DNA test on me, so I've got to get that started before the night shift comes in. So I'll be there in about an hour or so."
"That's okay. We have all week." He mentally counted to one before Abby whirled around.
"How did you know? Gibbs told you, didn't he?" she demanded, hands firmly on her hips and the toe of her black combat boot tapping irritably.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He blew her a kiss as he headed out of the lab. "Pizza or Chinese?"
"Wish someone would make a Chinese pizza," she said. "Surprise me."
Executing a low bow, Tony backed out of the lab, laughing when a probe bounced off the door as it shut. He wasn't really in a hurry home, so he sat in his car for a bit, searching the DC area for Abby's wish. Forty-five minutes later, he pulled into his parking space, a beef and broccoli pizza sitting on top of his triple meat one. Balancing the boxes, he dug his keys out and fumbled at the door. As he pushed the key in, Tony's gut went into overdrive. He unlocked the door, put his keys away, and pulled out his weapon and hid it from sight under the pizza.
His apartment was exactly the way he'd left it that morning. Quietly he put the food down and cleared the rest of the rooms. He still tingled, but there was no one there. Confused and wary, Tony holstered his gun and stepped out to run back down and check the mail.
One of his neighbors was there checking hers, too, and greeted him. "You're home awfully early, Tony," she said cheerfully.
"I'm starting my vacation, Mrs. Cantrelli," he said. "And how is Mr. Cantrelli doing tonight?"
"Not so good. He had a setback. That nurse will be in tomorrow to check up on him." She stepped up and patted his cheek. "Thank you for arranging for her to help."
Tony blinked in surprise. "And why do you say that?" he asked.
Mrs. Cantrelli grinned. "Gotcha. I only suspected you did it, but you just answered my question."
He shook his head. "And just how many cases did you help your husband solve before he retired?" he asked, grinning ruefully.
"More than he'll admit to." She walked with him back to the elevator. "Oh, by the way, that young lady was back again today."
"Abby's already been here?" That would explain the feeling that someone had been in his apartment. She had her own keys. He wasn't sure how she'd gotten them, but she had them, nonetheless.
"No, not Abby. The other one. Dark hair, very quiet. She just knocked and when you weren't home, she left."
Tony frowned. "When was she here?"
"Oh, about an hour or two ago." The old woman stopped to think. "That's the third time I've seen her this week. I usually check the peephole when I hear knocking."
"What have I told you about that?" he scolded. "You know what kind of people I put away. I don't want you caught in anything."
"I know, Tony, but I worry." She patted his hand as the doors opened on their floor. "When are you going to settle down?"
An image of a beloved face flashed in front of his eyes, and he missed part of what his neighbor was saying.
"… and I think that she'd make a nice wife for you. Tone her down a bit."
"Who'd make a nice wife?" he asked, not quite sure he wanted the answer.
"That Abby girl. She's so sweet, but she's just too wild. You'd be a good husband and calm her down."
Tony choked. "That's all part of Abby's charm, Mrs. Cantrelli. Good night." He smiled and unlocked his door, hoping she'd put that particular idea behind her. All he needed was for her to cheerfully suggest that to Abby one time.
It was such a relief for him to have one truly uncomplicated relationship. Abby was like a friend with benefits, but her benefits weren't sexual. She accepted him for what he was, no more, no less. She knew when he needed pulled out of his depressions, which he was sure that he could keep hidden from everyone but Gibbs, although Ducky and Jimmy could sniff him out more often than not. She gave out hugs whether he needed them or not, and mostly, he did need them. She was the only one that he trusted with his secrets. He trusted his teammates with his life, and he trusted Gibbs to have his six in any situation, but his secrets were for Abby only.
He sat down on the sofa, having more memories stirred up than he was comfortable with. Jeanne Benoit stole a piece of his heart and soul, and when he lied to her that night, he'd given her the rest. It was frustrating, because he knew that she was gone from his life for good, but there was still a piece of him that looked for her in a crowd, that hoped he'd see her on one of his many trips to the hospital. He knew from a couple too-casual statements from Gibbs that she'd always be like that to him, a ghost he searched for. The older man had been well into a bottle of bourbon when he'd let that one slip out – that he still looked for Shannon and Kelly in a crowd. The open look was more than he usually got from his boss, and he knew that someone else shared his pain and loss.
It was worse, well maybe not worse, but different for Tony, since Jeanne wasn't dead. It was possible, however unlikely, that he could run into her again, since her mother still lived in DC. He knew she'd left the country, gone back to France to live in the chateau her father had left to her.
Tony groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. Thinking wasn't getting him anywhere, and he was still dressed from work. He walked back to his bedroom to change into his Ohio State sweat pants and tee shirt, since he knew that Abby would be expecting their little tradition to remain the same.
The knock on the door was muted as he pulled the shirt on, so he yelled through, "Come on in, it's open." As he traded his dress socks for the fuzzy LSU slippers Abby had gotten him for his birthday a few years ago, he frowned and realized that she would've run right back to him. His gut churned again, and he pulled his gun. Carefully he peered around the corner, weapon raised, and stepped around to face her.
The gun fell to his side as he lost all strength in his arm, and Jeanne looked as if she could faint. With no color in her face, she blinked several times before clearing her throat, eyes carefully focused away from the pistol. "Hello, Tony."
"Jeanne."
They stood frozen, staring at each other. Tony took in her changed appearance – her pallor, the obvious weight loss, the odd way she held herself. She looked … terrified.
"I'm sorry. Please, have a seat," he said, hastily concealing the weapon behind his back until he could place it out of sight, but still within easy reach, in a side table drawer. "What, um…" He exhaled and tried again. "What are you doing here?"
She was still staring at the closed drawer. "Even after I found out what you really were, I just… it was so hard to imagine you shooting at people. Killing people."
"You thought I could kill your father."
The words were out before he could stop them, and they sat in the air, slicing into both people. Tony relented first. "I'm sorry, Jeanne, that was uncalled for."
"No it wasn't." She met his gaze squarely for the first time. "That … fiasco was all I could think about for months afterward. I handled everything so badly." He saw the tears glass her eyes over, but the way she held herself, he didn't move toward her. "I was too emotionally involved, and there was no way that you should have had to go through that." She sighed. "That I should have put you through that. I tried to call you so many times to apologize, but I was scared. Scared that you'd just hang up or yell at me or tell me to go to hell. I don't know."
"Jeanne, I know why you did it. Yes, it hurt, but I'd spent months trying to get close to your father, and then he turns up dead. You weren't irrational to make those assumptions."
"But I knew you hadn't done it. That's what I'm apologizing for. I was willing to send you to prison because I was angry at you." She twisted her fingers together nervously. "No, angry is too soft a word. I was hurt and furious and, well, you know what they say about a woman scorned." Jeanne's attempt at a smile failed. "The way you tried to protect me in the hospital, right before everything went down, that was a man who could not murder in cold blood. And I knew it."
Tony wasn't sure what to make of this confession. He opened his mouth twice to speak, but words wouldn't form.
"I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here now." She sat up straight. "I don't know how to ask you this, but I need your help."
"With what?" he asked.
Jeanne stood up and began pacing. "Can I ask you just one question before we do this? And you be completely honest with me, no matter what?"
He was silent for a long time before whispering a single affirmative.
She inhaled, and he could see her hands shaking. "Was the last thing you said to me true? Was it all just the mission?"
Tony couldn't summon the desire to make her suffer. He stood and walked to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and bringing her into his arms. "It was the biggest lie I've ever told in my life," he said, ignoring the tears burning in his eyes. When she clutched him in desperation, he captured her face and kissed her.
"When I said I loved you, I meant it. I still mean it."
She collapsed, sobbing, and he had to grab her to keep her from falling to the floor. He could only discern a few words here and there, and she didn't seem to be letting up any time soon, so he pulled her over to the sofa and sat, cradling her against him. He held her and let her cry it out.
"I don't deserve you."
Tony frowned. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. I've lied to you…"
"No more than I have."
That stopped him cold. "Lied… about what?"
Jeanne looked up at him, almost cringing away from him. "Tony, the week after I found out about you, I found out that I was pregnant."
He blinked. "Pregnant?" Looking down at her gaunt figure and trying to do some rough calculations, he shook his head. "Did something go wrong?"
"Tony, four months ago, you became the father of a healthy baby girl." Jeanne dropped her eyes when a look of ecstasy filled his face.
"I'm a father?" He took in her hesitant nod with growing dread. "When do I get to see her?"
"That's what I need help with. Someone took her."
Tony's gasp was echoed from the doorway, and he and Jeanne both looked up to see Abby standing there with the door open, one hand clasped over her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I just came on in, 'cause you know, we're doing the movie thing tonight, and it was quiet, so I thought that maybe you'd dozed off on the couch or something, but instead you were talking, and I didn't want to interrupt or seem like I was eavesdropping, which technically I was anyway, but I know your door squeaks when you close it and I didn't want to disturb you two but I also didn't want to leave the door wide open 'cause of privacy and the fact that there are bad guys out there …"
"Abby, breathe!"
She gasped and then looked at them both again, regret written plainly across her face. "I'm sorry. So, so, so sorry. Really I am."
Tony stood and led her in, shutting and locking the door behind them. "It's okay. You two haven't met, officially. Jeanne Benoit, this is Abby Sciuto. Abby, Jeanne."
"I'm really glad to meet you," Abby said. "I know that before everything went to hell in a hand basket with big bushels of flowers, you made Tony really, really happy."
"Abs, standing right here," he said, not sure whether the Goth was going to help or hinder this situation. "Jeanne, Abby has been my best friend ever since I started at NCIS."
"It's nice to meet you." Jeanne looked Abby over. "Are you an agent, too?"
"No, no, no, no, no! I'm a forensic scientist. Which means I know how to kill people and make it completely untraceable." She leveled a glare at Jeanne briefly before looking back at Tony. "Let's just say I'm very protective of my friends."
She plopped down in Tony's chair, kicking her legs up over the arm and settling another long stare at Jeanne. "Now what do you mean someone took her?"
When Jeanne hesitated, Tony caught her eyes and nodded as he took a seat on the sofa beside her. "It's okay. I'll have to tell her everything later anyway, and we might need her help."
"Being nearly four months pregnant and all the hormonal imbalances didn't help me make a rational decision the last time we met, Tony. I was so crushed when you said what you did…" She smiled faintly as he winced at that memory. "I understand now why you said it. But then, I was just hurt, so I returned to France. I worked for a few months at a small clinic outside of Lyon, just to have something to do. That's where I had Renee."
"Her name's Renee?"
Jeanne nodded. "I named her after my father, and hers. Renee Antoinette Benoit-DiNozzo."
Tony inhaled. "Even after all that I put you through, you still put me on the birth certificate?"
"I did, but I had reasons." She stood and began pacing again, trying to ignore Abby's piercing gaze following her. "With my father dead, there are certain of his … associates … that decided to take over aspects of his business. I had already had a couple run-ins with some of them, and after a veiled, or honestly not so veiled, threat against me and my baby if I didn't help him access some of my father's assets, I thought that it might be safer for her to list an American government agent as her father. Since your name is very Italian, it was a wise move, even with the American-hating portion of Frenchmen."
"But it was still safe for you, because you had no plans to ever tell Tony about her," Abby said, her voice neutral, even though her words were not.
Jeanne sighed. "Truthfully, I hadn't decided yet whether to tell Tony or not. Then on our six-week checkup, Renee disappeared out of the clinic."
"How? Weren't you with her?" Tony asked.
"Normally, I would've been, but the doctor wished to speak to me about a test and while the nurse was out weighing her, someone just… took her." Jeanne sank back down on the sofa, and it was plain that her legs simply wouldn't hold her any more. "I panicked. The Lyon police got involved, but I know that their influence is limited, due to government corruption. So, using some of my family influence, I got Interpol involved."
Abby sat up and leaned forward. "I'm guessing Interpol didn't get much accomplished, either."
"No. I haven't even received a ransom note or anything. It's just like someone didn't want her existing." The tears were audible as she spoke.
"Is it possible, then, that maybe it was a random kidnapping rather than a retaliation against you?" Tony asked.
Jeanne drew a shaky breath. "I suppose it's possible. After the threats, I never really considered anything else."
"Which might explain why the locals never got anywhere on it – they were looking in the wrong place." Abby leaped up. "Come on, Tony. Let's get back to the lab. We've got some leads to chase down."
"Hold on, Abs." Tony grabbed her hand. "We're going to find her, but I'm not Gibbs. I can't just go commandeer NCIS resources for a personal vendetta."
"Then let's get Gibbs involved. We can spin it for the Director. NCIS family member targeted after blown undercover assignment." Abby pulled him to his feet. "Besides, I've got the night crew trained. They know better than to ask questions if I go back in after hours." She grinned gleefully. "After the first two times Gibbs came down yelling for answers, I threatened to turn them over to him if they ever got in my way again."
Tony sighed, considering his options. He knew that without Abby and his NCIS connections, it was a long shot to find Renee. "Fine. Abby, you take Jeanne back to the lab. Jeanne, tell Abs anything you can remember. Details, people, if it sticks out, tell her. She'll get started running stuff." He sighed again. "I'll go talk to Gibbs. Meet you there, okay?"
Abby saluted, her jaunty gesture that she usually reserved for Major Mass Spec. "Yes, sir."
He pulled her aside. "Be nice." She opened her mouth to protest, but he stared her down. "Until I'm sure of exactly what's going on here, I want to keep things as neutral as possible."
"So kissing is neutral?" she asked.
"Abs," he warned.
"Fine." Catching Tony's glance toward the other woman, she sighed and pouted. "I'll be waiting downstairs."
As she flounced out, he pulled Jeanne into a quick embrace. "Abby is…"
She surprised his with a smile. "She is protective of her friend. I understand."
"She really is the best. We can't lose with Abby helping." He hugged her tightly, releasing her when he felt how fragile she felt. "We will find Renee."
Jeanne nodded. "Hurry. I've been away from her for too long now."
"I will." He grinned as he realized something. "Oh, about Abby's car…"
"Yes?"
"She drives a hearse."
Tony could swear that she groaned. "Of course she does."
He smiled slightly as he went in to change out of his slippers and pull on socks and running shoes. He tried rehearsing ways of telling Gibbs what was going on, but nothing sounded right. As he drove to Gibbs's house, Tony gave up finding words and tried to focus on sorting out his feelings.
Fatherhood was something that he'd only dreamed of after meeting Jeanne. She'd let him move past his psychoses about his own father, which had pretty well run his life to that point. In spite of the fact that he hadn't held a baby since he was a teenager, he felt himself wondering about what his daughter looked like and how heavy she was and what color eyes she had. He needed to remember to ask Jeanne to see a picture of her when he got to the lab.
Walking in the unlocked front door, Tony walked straight to the basement door, knowing that his boss was down there. He stood at the doorway and took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Finally he just walked down the stairs.
"Movie night over already?" Gibbs asked without looking up from the board he was staining.
"Never got started." Tony sank down on the steps and stared at Gibbs. "I need help."
Jethro Gibbs was rarely startled, but he felt a jolt when he heard that. Tony never asked for help. He looked at his senior agent and saw the turmoil in his face and had to put the can of stain down before he spilled it. "What's wrong?"
"Jeanne's back."
Gibbs stared at him, reading something more than just a casual encounter. "Did you run into her or something?"
"She came to my apartment, Gibbs." Tony rubbed his suddenly sweaty hands on his pants. "We talked about, well, everything. Her accusing me of murder, me lying to her, the whole disaster we built for a year." He shook his head, staring intently at the scraps of wood littering the basement floor. "She loved me. She loved me and I took it and trashed it."
Sinking down on the stair below Tony, Gibbs looked up at his agent. "Did you?"
Those quiet words stung. "Tony DiNardo didn't." His glance strayed toward the blue eyes and got snagged. "But Tony DiNozzo sure as hell did."
"But did Tony DiNozzo want to?" Waiting to make sure that his words would sink in where Tony could think about them later, Gibbs pushed on. "You don't need help dealing with some old feelings. What else?"
"Renee Benoit."
Frowning, Jethro shook his head. "What about him?"
"Not him, her."
"Explain."
The reflexive grin that flickered across Tony's face was less than his normal reaction to his boss's drill-sergeant-like order, but it was enough to show him that his agent was still there. "Renee Antoinette Benoit..." He stared at Gibbs, finally allowing his emotion to show, if only in his eyes. "…DiNozzo. My daughter."
Gibbs slumped back against the wall, stunned by all the pieces falling into place. No wonder Tony was in his basement, looking like death warmed over. "So where is she? Is Jeanne not gonna let you see her?"
"She's missing." DiNozzo's head dropped onto his knees, and his shoulders shook slightly as he tried to maintain his control. "Someone took her. Jeanne came to me to help find her."
Never had he seen more of himself in Tony than at that moment, and the younger man had a chance that Gibbs never did. In that moment, Jethro knew that come hell or high water, they would get that baby back. "Get back to the lab. Run anything you need. I'll take care of Jenny." He stood up and put an understanding hand on his shoulder. "We'll find her, Tony."
Somewhat drained by the outburst, he nodded jerkily, rose, and took off up the stairs. Gibbs sighed and put the lid on his stain. He eyed the bottle of bourbon but shook his head. He didn't need to go in to Jenny like that.
Given his driving habits, Gibbs wasn't surprised that he beat Tony back to the Navy Yard. Marching up to Jen's office, he wondered if her reason for staying late on Friday nights had left yet. Jethro smiled grimly. She thought she was being so secretive, but carrying on an affair with a married agent, her subordinate in the light of day, was the least of the indiscretions that he could pull out if this meeting went against him and Tony.
Since her door wasn't locked, he didn't meet anyone as he stormed in. She'd had enough time to be as impeccably dressed as she had been earlier, leaving only a slight flush below the chunky gold necklace at her throat to be her only tell.
"I need my team to be taken off rotation for a while," he said flatly.
"On what grounds?" she asked, her eyebrows elevated in surprise.
"The Frog cold case just got hot again."
Jenny Shepherd shook her head. "No, it didn't, because it's closed. Besides, even if it did, I'd know about it."
"Did you know that Jeanne Benoit's back?"
Jenny straightened in her seat but kept her expression and tone of voice neutral. "Really?"
Gibbs paced around the office but kept an eye on her as he played out his scene. "Apparently, she paid Tony a visit tonight." She didn't answer this time, but he knew he had her full attention. "She had some things to say about her father."
"And I suppose DiNozzo just rushed over to your house to spill his guts?" she asked.
He let the sarcasm in her voice push him over the edge to where he wanted to go. "He was in love with her – real thing, Jen, and you kept him undercover long after he should've been pulled."
"Tony is a fine actor. He came to me to discuss how far he should take things in his cover. We both agreed that beginning sexual relations with her would keep the cover going."
"Did you agree to getting her pregnant?" Gibbs laughed bitterly when she gasped. "That's right, Tony's a father. He fell in love with his mark and created a child. A little girl. Who's been kidnapped." He leaned across the desk and got right into Jenny's face. "Now, we are going off rotation until we find little Renee DiNozzo, or I am going to Ms. Benoit and SecNav and even the damn press if I have to and telling exactly what did happen to her father."
"You can't threaten me, Jethro," Jenny said, but her voice had little strength behind it.
"Oh, yes I can." He slammed his palm on her desk, jarring a start from her. "Damn it to hell, Jen! Tony was in love, and everyone knew it. Everybody could see it. Everyone except you. The one person who was supposed to have his six." Pausing to see if his words were sinking in, he allowed his voice to drop back to a deadly calm. "You let him go too deep, Jen. Pushed him to go too deep. Rule one of undercover work and you failed. You used him. All because of your obsession with your father and your willingness to use a damn fine agent as your own little police squad. I taught you so much better than that." Jethro pulled back and glared at her. "Now, you take my team off rotation, and you authorize any means necessary to work with Interpol on this case."
"Or what?" she asked, trying to recover some of the ground she'd lost.
Gibbs smiled. "Or you'll find out what all I really have on you, Director."
"You bastard! You can't blackmail me!"
"You knew about that second B, Jen, long before tonight." He smiled again as he opened the door to leave. "I'll expect to see the orders within the hour. And it's not blackmail." He stared her down to let her know how serious he was. "It's a damn promise."