Fire And Ice
By: Angel Starr
Time unwinding. Almost finding. A passion burning. Worlds turning. Endless desire never to expire... his soul is fire...
Time subdued. Almost nude. Passion flowing. Worlds glowing. Endless the price of all things nice... his soul is ice...
Deep in the truth you find, the everchanging axis of time...
Blood red is the sky. The sun falls to it's lover, the moon who will take the place of it's firery loom. From the horizon it grows. Emerging gently, such patience it shows. For with it's lover it must take it's time. And that's just fine. For in the distance along the rolling hills two young men walk side by side.
Their shillouettes only shadowed by the fading light. One boy is slightly taller than the other but not enough to matter at a certain distance. Both are slender yet statley under their attire - worn well. One's hair flys wildly though the breeze, the jagged edges tearing at the air. The other's is less wild - more sleek as it flows gracefully into a neat taper at the nape of his neck. The boy smiles, as he suffles with a pebble along their path, the tassles and ties around his waist bouncing about. Several shades of glowing jewels glisten from around the other boy's neck.
Finally they stop, overlooking a grassy terrace before the naked sun's setting. The sleek haired sighs, his eyes watering from the strong hues emitted. If you were to stare at it long enough, it would blind you as punishment for daring to watch at the sun's lovemaking with the moon. The jeweled boy stands very still beside the other, his hands neatly tucked behind his back. The both watch the sun set. Finally one speaks.
"I used to love watching the sun set as a little kid." The boy with the ponytail said. As the light rapidly fades it reveals the natural darkness of his whispy hair.
"I agree. It's always been relaxing to me ever since I can remember." The wild haired boy replied, his firery blondeish orange locks finally settling in the now calmer breeze.
"I thank you for spending time with me... Tasuki." The raven haired boy whispered his deep lavender eyes fixing on the other boy's.
"Of course, Tamahome. I would never leave you alone in a time like this..." The fairhaired boy said his golden eyes staring back. Both are strikingly beautiful, so much that it almost hurt to look at them. A time of silence follows as their gaze hold a few seconds longer.
"I thought I was alone. Afraid I'd always be, now I don't have to be...there's love..." Tears suddenly flooded the raven haired boys eyes. The fairhaired boy took a step closer to the other boy, pulling him into an embrace.
"Shhhh." He whispered caressing the raven boy's hair gently. "I will always be here... loving you more than you will ever know..." His golden eyes stung as the tears as filled their wells and began slowly streaming down his face. Eyes that never cried. But somehow did now. Tasuki was always the stronger of the two. Even when those closest to him were slain and his best friends tortured at his expense. He never cried. Just bit the tears away, holding them back. Never a broken will. But something about now - the way this boy looked. This particular boy in his arms. So graceful and beautiful to be so sad now. It broke Tasuki's heart.
Tamahome had lost everything. All that was so dear to him. His entire family was slain like pigs. The very pillar of strength that became his backbone was gone. And he broke. As if having no one. No one at all except Tasuki... Tamahome's tears felt like acid on Tasuki's skin as they fell down his neck. He gripped the boy tighter. If Tamahome had no belief in life itself, Tasuki would bring back that belief. If he had no hope left in him, Tasuki would bring forth that hope. And if he had love left in his heart, Tasuki would bring him that love. The raven haired boy cried in his arms for a long while. The two stood as the sun completely set, their shillouettes a mock of a lovers display.
Finally the Tamahome pulled away, his moist cheeks glistened in the moonlight. He stared at Tasuki with child's eyes. Tasuki smiled, though gently.
"Do you feel any better now?" He asked softly. Tamahome nods.
"I know I've been difficult but I needed to cry..."
"Anytime. You can cry on me as long as you like." Tasuki genlty wiped away the last of the raven haired boy's tears with his thumb, letting his fingers linger on the smooth skin. "Although you really shouldn't. You're much prettier when you are happy." Tamahome took Tasuki's hand knowing he was trying to cheer him up.
"I know..." Both boys smiled at each and began to walk. Tamahome felt better now. A soft sense of security surrounded him - as if the loneliness had gone away...
Later that night, Tamahome found it hard to sleep. He tossed and turned fruitlessly, unable to shake the horrible memories from his mind. His family... the blood... dead... haunting... He suddenly awoke, sitting up abruptly, panting heavily. Sweat poured down from him, his eyes wide in fear. He stared frantically around the dark room. Then his eye caught a face staring directly at him. It was a young boy, pale and terrified looking. Plastered to his face was his own hair in a wild mess. His eyes were very empty and lonely. So lonely. The boy gasped in shock backing away from Tamahome as far as he could before hitting the bedpost. Tamahome cried out feeling his head crash against the hard wood.
Suddenly he realized the boy was only his own reflection in the mirror across from his bed. He swallowed hard feeling quite foolish now. But he still remembered the eyes that had just stared back at him. So empty an lonely. So empty it scared him. Could he be turning into nothing? Like his family? A dead puppet, only living? It was so painful to think of. Tamahome gathered his knees up into his arms like a little child, clutching himself tightly. He had to fill that void that was growing bigger in his heart. Take the emptiness away. And then he thought of Tasuki...
Tasuki laid awake in bed, his mind drenched in thought. Ironically none of his thoughts were of Tamahome, but of himself and the feeling of love. A feeling he had pondered for years. A man with such a loving heart, yet never truly experienced love. He ran his fingers through his firery golden locks. Why was this concerning him so much? Loneliness had always been a dear friend of his. Love never within his grasp. So why? Why question it now? His mind wandered in the dark of the night. Finally he closed his eyes. Love. What even was it. Care. Compassion. Honesty. Yes, these he knew. But love? Was more than just a mystery. An impossibility almost.
But every man needed love. Even if it was tender or not. Close or far. Distant or delusional. Love was what kept life living. Breath breathing. Breath that quicken in Tasuki's chest as his mind wandered ever a little further. Intimacy... Pleasure... Love making... Tamahome. Tasuki's eyes flew open even much to his own surprise at the thought. Could it be? That just maybe, perhaps... perhaps he loved...
Suddenly Tasuki's door flew open and a staggering Tamahome entered with a pillow. He almost whimpered as he caught his breath. The quiet room seemed to only fill with his breaths. Tasuki stared on confusedly. Finally Tamahome closed the door gently, reagaining his calm.
"I'm sorry..." He panted. "I can't be in there... alone." Tasuki's eyes softened. His mind cleared completely.
"Have a bad dream?" He asked rhetorically. Tamahome nodded shyly. His eyes stared intently on Tasuki as if asking the question for him.
"Okay. Come on. You can stay with me tonight." Tasuki said calmly scooting over in his bed. Tamahome gripped his pillow tightly like a small child again and climbed into the bed with Tasuki. His body warmth was comforting to settle on from where he was just laying. Tamahome preserved the warmth with his own body feeling instantly safe now.
Tasuki laid on his back staring at the ceiling. His mind was blank, no room for reasonable thought. Ever so faintly he could hear the rising and falling of Tamhome's breath next to him. Tamahome his back to Tasuki, still clutching to his pillow tightly. He felt so silly now, asking to sleep with his best friend for fear of being alone... But was it really stupid? Did Tasuki think so?
"Tasuki..." The raven haired boy finally said.
"Hmm?"
"You don't think I'm crazy do you?" Tasuki looked over at the back of Tamahome's head.
"Of course not. Why?"
"Just wondering. I feel so empty now. Like maybe I'm loosing my mind..."
"You're not loosing your mind."
"I'm sorry. I can't be stronger... like you. Be a man through all this..."
"Who says you have to? Take as long as you need to to get through. Everyone's different. And everyone needs their time... to get over things."
Tamahome thought for a moment. He was surprised. Tasuki was right. But not because of that but that such wise words were coming from a man he never thought could see things that way. Tasuki had another side to him he didn't know about. And he wanted to know that side more...
If Tasuki could have seen Tamahome's face, he would have seen the silent tears he was shedding now. Those same tears of absolute loneliness...
"This has happened to you before hasn't it?" He asks quietly waiting for the fair haired boy's response.
"Yes."
"So you understand."
"Completely."
"Was it your family too?"
Tasuki choked quietly. "In a way yes. My best friends. My only friends. Closer than family."
"Closer than family? How is that? Isn't blood thicker than anything else?"
"Not always... I came from an awful family who didn't care about me. I was alone. Until I found these friends. True friends like brothers to me. It was then that I knew I could find happiness - and they became my family." Tamahome was shocked. He never new of Tasuki's dark past.
"So you believe that friends can be closer than even family?"
"Yes. I always will. It's really where your heart lies. If you care enough for a person, the rest follows. Whether you were meant to be realated or not." Tamahome thought again. Tasuki was his only family now.
If Tasuki could have seen Tamahome's face, he would hav seen the silent tears he was shedding now. Tears of both pain and sudden understanding. It was so overwhelming for him he had to find the comfort again. Nothing else would do. He slowly turned to Tasuki, his lavender crystal eyes glittering. "Then you must be my family now..." Tamahome whispered almost shaking. Tasuki's eyes filled with hope. A good friend indeed. A friend he found himself loving. He was happy to see Tamahome saw his care for him.
"Yes. I am your family now..." He reassured smiling at Tamahome.
"Tasuki..." Tamahome began queitly again. "Would you hold me now?" Tasuki was a bit surprised at the request but he did not say no. Genlty he wrapped his arms around Tamahome's vulnurable frame, as he nuzzled his face into Tasuki's chest.
Tamahome felt considerably small now. Everything around him began to fade away. It felt good to be held again as Tasuki's hands caressed him gently. Soothing away all the pain. It reminded him of his mother's love. The threat of tears came again.
Tasuki was content feeling lke he could hold Tamahome all night. Never thinking about anything else. Just holding the boy in his arms. Never thinking about someone holding him. Selflessly providing the comfort. Naturally content not receive it back. Blank in thought. Nothing else. After a while, Tasuki's mind inevitably wandered again. This time not of love but of lovers. Wasn't this what they did? Hold one another in the night? Falling in love silently... Anyone else from the outside would think so if they could see them now. Intamacy, lovemaking...
He stared down at Tasuki's sleek raven hair. He smelled it. It smelled so wonderful. So soft he was. So beautiful. He wanted to be so close to him now - love him if he could. His heart beat so fast now, he feared Tamahome would notice. The fair haired boy breathed slowly, waiting, watching for him to notice. He continued caressing the other boy, his hands began to wander lower, running over Tamahome's neck and shoulders now.
He noticed the ever so slightly reaction in Tamahome's body to Tasuki's hands. Tasuki travelled further, now massaging Tamahome's back. His muscles were rather tense. Was it because of Tasuki touching him? Tasuki didn't stop. He went further, reaching the small of Tamahome's back then moving his hands up along the curve of his sides. Tamahome breathed deeper in Tasuki's embrace. He felt so close to the other boy holding him now. It felt good. Intimacy, love... It felt good.
Slowly Tamahome's hands that he curled into themselves unfolded, flattening against Tasuki's bare chest. Tasuki stirred ever so slightly. He felt it too now. The soft caressing the other boy did to him. So soft and gentle. Tamahome massaged his fingers in small cirles into Tasuki's chest slowly moving his hands outward sliding them over Tasuki's arms. It sent shivers through Tasuki's entire body. Tamahome could feel the skin shrink into small goosebumps under his fingers.
Like an artful dance, both boys caressed one another. Quietly, no words spoken their fingers talked along the curves and bends of their bodies. Bringing fourth a sense of intimacy not there before. Gentle and growing. Srong and balanced. Fire and Ice. Soon their bodies pressed together in a more hasty sense as they massaged and touched faster, firmer. Finally their eyes met in a beautiful collision. They stared into one another's eyes, silently. But so much emotion was going on. So much realization.
"You understand me..." Tamahome finally whispered, his voice almost weak.
"I do..."
Tamahome stared so intently, his breath catching the air heavily. His face slowly drew closer to Tasuki's. "So do I..." He said almost like a prayer his words were so soft and flowing. Their lips brushed ever so slightly. Like a feather against a cloud. Almost transparent. Love within possible grasp now. Emptiness gone for another lifetime. Pain still there, but healed. Revealed. Faced with the love true. Where the heart lies... the endless fire for ice.
Deep in the truth you find, the everchanging axis of time...
By: Angel Starr
Time unwinding. Almost finding. A passion burning. Worlds turning. Endless desire never to expire... his soul is fire...
Time subdued. Almost nude. Passion flowing. Worlds glowing. Endless the price of all things nice... his soul is ice...
Deep in the truth you find, the everchanging axis of time...
Blood red is the sky. The sun falls to it's lover, the moon who will take the place of it's firery loom. From the horizon it grows. Emerging gently, such patience it shows. For with it's lover it must take it's time. And that's just fine. For in the distance along the rolling hills two young men walk side by side.
Their shillouettes only shadowed by the fading light. One boy is slightly taller than the other but not enough to matter at a certain distance. Both are slender yet statley under their attire - worn well. One's hair flys wildly though the breeze, the jagged edges tearing at the air. The other's is less wild - more sleek as it flows gracefully into a neat taper at the nape of his neck. The boy smiles, as he suffles with a pebble along their path, the tassles and ties around his waist bouncing about. Several shades of glowing jewels glisten from around the other boy's neck.
Finally they stop, overlooking a grassy terrace before the naked sun's setting. The sleek haired sighs, his eyes watering from the strong hues emitted. If you were to stare at it long enough, it would blind you as punishment for daring to watch at the sun's lovemaking with the moon. The jeweled boy stands very still beside the other, his hands neatly tucked behind his back. The both watch the sun set. Finally one speaks.
"I used to love watching the sun set as a little kid." The boy with the ponytail said. As the light rapidly fades it reveals the natural darkness of his whispy hair.
"I agree. It's always been relaxing to me ever since I can remember." The wild haired boy replied, his firery blondeish orange locks finally settling in the now calmer breeze.
"I thank you for spending time with me... Tasuki." The raven haired boy whispered his deep lavender eyes fixing on the other boy's.
"Of course, Tamahome. I would never leave you alone in a time like this..." The fairhaired boy said his golden eyes staring back. Both are strikingly beautiful, so much that it almost hurt to look at them. A time of silence follows as their gaze hold a few seconds longer.
"I thought I was alone. Afraid I'd always be, now I don't have to be...there's love..." Tears suddenly flooded the raven haired boys eyes. The fairhaired boy took a step closer to the other boy, pulling him into an embrace.
"Shhhh." He whispered caressing the raven boy's hair gently. "I will always be here... loving you more than you will ever know..." His golden eyes stung as the tears as filled their wells and began slowly streaming down his face. Eyes that never cried. But somehow did now. Tasuki was always the stronger of the two. Even when those closest to him were slain and his best friends tortured at his expense. He never cried. Just bit the tears away, holding them back. Never a broken will. But something about now - the way this boy looked. This particular boy in his arms. So graceful and beautiful to be so sad now. It broke Tasuki's heart.
Tamahome had lost everything. All that was so dear to him. His entire family was slain like pigs. The very pillar of strength that became his backbone was gone. And he broke. As if having no one. No one at all except Tasuki... Tamahome's tears felt like acid on Tasuki's skin as they fell down his neck. He gripped the boy tighter. If Tamahome had no belief in life itself, Tasuki would bring back that belief. If he had no hope left in him, Tasuki would bring forth that hope. And if he had love left in his heart, Tasuki would bring him that love. The raven haired boy cried in his arms for a long while. The two stood as the sun completely set, their shillouettes a mock of a lovers display.
Finally the Tamahome pulled away, his moist cheeks glistened in the moonlight. He stared at Tasuki with child's eyes. Tasuki smiled, though gently.
"Do you feel any better now?" He asked softly. Tamahome nods.
"I know I've been difficult but I needed to cry..."
"Anytime. You can cry on me as long as you like." Tasuki genlty wiped away the last of the raven haired boy's tears with his thumb, letting his fingers linger on the smooth skin. "Although you really shouldn't. You're much prettier when you are happy." Tamahome took Tasuki's hand knowing he was trying to cheer him up.
"I know..." Both boys smiled at each and began to walk. Tamahome felt better now. A soft sense of security surrounded him - as if the loneliness had gone away...
Later that night, Tamahome found it hard to sleep. He tossed and turned fruitlessly, unable to shake the horrible memories from his mind. His family... the blood... dead... haunting... He suddenly awoke, sitting up abruptly, panting heavily. Sweat poured down from him, his eyes wide in fear. He stared frantically around the dark room. Then his eye caught a face staring directly at him. It was a young boy, pale and terrified looking. Plastered to his face was his own hair in a wild mess. His eyes were very empty and lonely. So lonely. The boy gasped in shock backing away from Tamahome as far as he could before hitting the bedpost. Tamahome cried out feeling his head crash against the hard wood.
Suddenly he realized the boy was only his own reflection in the mirror across from his bed. He swallowed hard feeling quite foolish now. But he still remembered the eyes that had just stared back at him. So empty an lonely. So empty it scared him. Could he be turning into nothing? Like his family? A dead puppet, only living? It was so painful to think of. Tamahome gathered his knees up into his arms like a little child, clutching himself tightly. He had to fill that void that was growing bigger in his heart. Take the emptiness away. And then he thought of Tasuki...
Tasuki laid awake in bed, his mind drenched in thought. Ironically none of his thoughts were of Tamahome, but of himself and the feeling of love. A feeling he had pondered for years. A man with such a loving heart, yet never truly experienced love. He ran his fingers through his firery golden locks. Why was this concerning him so much? Loneliness had always been a dear friend of his. Love never within his grasp. So why? Why question it now? His mind wandered in the dark of the night. Finally he closed his eyes. Love. What even was it. Care. Compassion. Honesty. Yes, these he knew. But love? Was more than just a mystery. An impossibility almost.
But every man needed love. Even if it was tender or not. Close or far. Distant or delusional. Love was what kept life living. Breath breathing. Breath that quicken in Tasuki's chest as his mind wandered ever a little further. Intimacy... Pleasure... Love making... Tamahome. Tasuki's eyes flew open even much to his own surprise at the thought. Could it be? That just maybe, perhaps... perhaps he loved...
Suddenly Tasuki's door flew open and a staggering Tamahome entered with a pillow. He almost whimpered as he caught his breath. The quiet room seemed to only fill with his breaths. Tasuki stared on confusedly. Finally Tamahome closed the door gently, reagaining his calm.
"I'm sorry..." He panted. "I can't be in there... alone." Tasuki's eyes softened. His mind cleared completely.
"Have a bad dream?" He asked rhetorically. Tamahome nodded shyly. His eyes stared intently on Tasuki as if asking the question for him.
"Okay. Come on. You can stay with me tonight." Tasuki said calmly scooting over in his bed. Tamahome gripped his pillow tightly like a small child again and climbed into the bed with Tasuki. His body warmth was comforting to settle on from where he was just laying. Tamahome preserved the warmth with his own body feeling instantly safe now.
Tasuki laid on his back staring at the ceiling. His mind was blank, no room for reasonable thought. Ever so faintly he could hear the rising and falling of Tamhome's breath next to him. Tamahome his back to Tasuki, still clutching to his pillow tightly. He felt so silly now, asking to sleep with his best friend for fear of being alone... But was it really stupid? Did Tasuki think so?
"Tasuki..." The raven haired boy finally said.
"Hmm?"
"You don't think I'm crazy do you?" Tasuki looked over at the back of Tamahome's head.
"Of course not. Why?"
"Just wondering. I feel so empty now. Like maybe I'm loosing my mind..."
"You're not loosing your mind."
"I'm sorry. I can't be stronger... like you. Be a man through all this..."
"Who says you have to? Take as long as you need to to get through. Everyone's different. And everyone needs their time... to get over things."
Tamahome thought for a moment. He was surprised. Tasuki was right. But not because of that but that such wise words were coming from a man he never thought could see things that way. Tasuki had another side to him he didn't know about. And he wanted to know that side more...
If Tasuki could have seen Tamahome's face, he would have seen the silent tears he was shedding now. Those same tears of absolute loneliness...
"This has happened to you before hasn't it?" He asks quietly waiting for the fair haired boy's response.
"Yes."
"So you understand."
"Completely."
"Was it your family too?"
Tasuki choked quietly. "In a way yes. My best friends. My only friends. Closer than family."
"Closer than family? How is that? Isn't blood thicker than anything else?"
"Not always... I came from an awful family who didn't care about me. I was alone. Until I found these friends. True friends like brothers to me. It was then that I knew I could find happiness - and they became my family." Tamahome was shocked. He never new of Tasuki's dark past.
"So you believe that friends can be closer than even family?"
"Yes. I always will. It's really where your heart lies. If you care enough for a person, the rest follows. Whether you were meant to be realated or not." Tamahome thought again. Tasuki was his only family now.
If Tasuki could have seen Tamahome's face, he would hav seen the silent tears he was shedding now. Tears of both pain and sudden understanding. It was so overwhelming for him he had to find the comfort again. Nothing else would do. He slowly turned to Tasuki, his lavender crystal eyes glittering. "Then you must be my family now..." Tamahome whispered almost shaking. Tasuki's eyes filled with hope. A good friend indeed. A friend he found himself loving. He was happy to see Tamahome saw his care for him.
"Yes. I am your family now..." He reassured smiling at Tamahome.
"Tasuki..." Tamahome began queitly again. "Would you hold me now?" Tasuki was a bit surprised at the request but he did not say no. Genlty he wrapped his arms around Tamahome's vulnurable frame, as he nuzzled his face into Tasuki's chest.
Tamahome felt considerably small now. Everything around him began to fade away. It felt good to be held again as Tasuki's hands caressed him gently. Soothing away all the pain. It reminded him of his mother's love. The threat of tears came again.
Tasuki was content feeling lke he could hold Tamahome all night. Never thinking about anything else. Just holding the boy in his arms. Never thinking about someone holding him. Selflessly providing the comfort. Naturally content not receive it back. Blank in thought. Nothing else. After a while, Tasuki's mind inevitably wandered again. This time not of love but of lovers. Wasn't this what they did? Hold one another in the night? Falling in love silently... Anyone else from the outside would think so if they could see them now. Intamacy, lovemaking...
He stared down at Tasuki's sleek raven hair. He smelled it. It smelled so wonderful. So soft he was. So beautiful. He wanted to be so close to him now - love him if he could. His heart beat so fast now, he feared Tamahome would notice. The fair haired boy breathed slowly, waiting, watching for him to notice. He continued caressing the other boy, his hands began to wander lower, running over Tamahome's neck and shoulders now.
He noticed the ever so slightly reaction in Tamahome's body to Tasuki's hands. Tasuki travelled further, now massaging Tamahome's back. His muscles were rather tense. Was it because of Tasuki touching him? Tasuki didn't stop. He went further, reaching the small of Tamahome's back then moving his hands up along the curve of his sides. Tamahome breathed deeper in Tasuki's embrace. He felt so close to the other boy holding him now. It felt good. Intimacy, love... It felt good.
Slowly Tamahome's hands that he curled into themselves unfolded, flattening against Tasuki's bare chest. Tasuki stirred ever so slightly. He felt it too now. The soft caressing the other boy did to him. So soft and gentle. Tamahome massaged his fingers in small cirles into Tasuki's chest slowly moving his hands outward sliding them over Tasuki's arms. It sent shivers through Tasuki's entire body. Tamahome could feel the skin shrink into small goosebumps under his fingers.
Like an artful dance, both boys caressed one another. Quietly, no words spoken their fingers talked along the curves and bends of their bodies. Bringing fourth a sense of intimacy not there before. Gentle and growing. Srong and balanced. Fire and Ice. Soon their bodies pressed together in a more hasty sense as they massaged and touched faster, firmer. Finally their eyes met in a beautiful collision. They stared into one another's eyes, silently. But so much emotion was going on. So much realization.
"You understand me..." Tamahome finally whispered, his voice almost weak.
"I do..."
Tamahome stared so intently, his breath catching the air heavily. His face slowly drew closer to Tasuki's. "So do I..." He said almost like a prayer his words were so soft and flowing. Their lips brushed ever so slightly. Like a feather against a cloud. Almost transparent. Love within possible grasp now. Emptiness gone for another lifetime. Pain still there, but healed. Revealed. Faced with the love true. Where the heart lies... the endless fire for ice.
Deep in the truth you find, the everchanging axis of time...