Writing tunes: Some Mingus, some Davis and Parker, some Chambers and a little Coltrane.

I hate judging people based on race, but damn, blacks are so much better at jazz than the rest of us. At least in my opinion.

This is the conclusion of my Virion trilogy. The first piece was "The Capitalist and The Warrior" – a VaikexAnna crack – and the second was "The Love Masters" – an Awakening/Rekka no Ken crossover featuring Virion and Sain.

Enjoy!

Previously…

Virion had tried wooing Olivia before and had gotten somewhat far. Unfortunately, before he could make any serious move, something always forced him away. But now, the war was over, and nothing was going to stop him. He took off his signet ring and knelt before the pink-haired maiden, a glint in his eye,

"Oh, Olivia, how I've longed for this day! I love you, and have always loved you! Please, accept the ring of my noble house and marry me!"

…

"OK Virion, that's enough wooing for today," Cherche growled.

"NO! DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME! NOOOOOOOOO!" the Duke screamed as his knight forced him onto her wyvern and carried him off.

And now, the conclusion…

It was finally time. Cherche had just left for the hot springs, and Olivia was practicing her singing in her tent. There was nothing standing in Virion's way of proposing to the woman he loved. He marched right over to the dancer's tent, and as he burst in to proclaim his love, Olivia accidentally kicked him in his gentleman's sausage while practicing. The Rosannean noble yelped in pain, then silently left.

At the same time, Robin and Chrom looked at each other, completely stumped. Lissa had completely disappeared.

"Where the hell could she possibly have gone?"

"I do not know, Chrom, but I promise you I will find out."

Meanwhile, at the hot springs, Cherche and Anna crossed paths. To the former's dismay, Anna decided to talk about love.

"So, Cherche, why don't you have a man in your life yet? Everyone else has a partner of some sort."

"I have no use for men. I have Minerva."

"Well, to put it bluntly, you can't have sex with a wyvern."

"What I do or do not do with Minerva is none of your concern!"

"Wait a minute, did you actually…"

"Tharja's hexed meat… well… long story short, I was stuck in the healer's tent for far longer than I should have been."

"I… can't come up with a response to that."

"That's a relief."

"Still, you do seem to be a little on edge whenever you're around Virion. If I didn't know better, I'd say you love him and are jealous of all the women he flirts with."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Geez, if I had a gold coin for every time I hear a woman say that I'd be twice as wealthy as I am now."

"Look, I'm just trying to keep him out of trouble. He is my liege, after all."

"Didn't that end once he fled his lands? Why DO you still follow him around?"

"…"

"I think we both know the answer. You care about him. More than he knows."

"I don't think I'd ever be able to trust him. He's such a flirt!"

"But you do care about him."

"You know the answer."

"I want to hear you say it."

"Too bad."

"Aw, come on, don't be that way!"

"Anna, enough."

"Say it!"

For the last time, no!" The two continued to argue childishly for another hour before Cherche stormed out, almost forgetting her clothing.

Virion groaned as he walked to the healing tent with his hands over his groin. There, he met Tharja, who was bruised from a hex duel with Henry.

"What happened to you? Let your procreation dragon fly through too many caverns?" the sorceress rolled her eyes.

"Oh, he wishes," Maribelle chuckled.

"Olivia kicked me. It was my fault… I didn't announce myself before entering her tent."

"Maybe it's a sign you should take a break from wooing women," the healer said as she mended his most prized possession. Before Virion could retort, Robin walked in.

"Hey guys, have any of you seen Lissa? Last time I checked she was chasing around some mage. Haven't seen her since."

"Sorry, I haven't," Maribelle shrugged.

"Neither have I," Tharja said offhandedly.

"Wasn't the mage she was chasing from an outrealm? Maybe you should ask Old Hubba," Virion suggested.

"That's not a bad idea. Thanks, V," Robin smiled and walked off.

Beyond the Outrealm Gate, Lissa was having fun with the heroes of the past. Specifically Erk, a mage she'd been chasing for two days straight. She wandered around his army's camp shouting for him, but he seemed to be very good at hiding. Eventually, she ran into a pink-haired woman who shared her mannerisms.

"Hey! Who are you and what do you think you're doing chasing my Erk!"

"I am Princess Lissa of Ylisse, and I will have him for my own!"

"Princess of what? I've never heard of that land! Stop making things up and leave him to me!" As the two women screeched at each other, a loud groan could be heard in the background. Then, Chrom and another blue-haired warrior appeared from opposite directions.

"Alright, Lissa, time to go," Chrom hauled his sister over his shoulder and left for the outrealm gate. The other warrior did the same to the pink-haired woman.

"Sorry about her," the two said at the same time, then laughed as the walked away, their respective women kicking and screaming to be put down.

Back by the encampment, Virion saw the object of his affection come out of her tent.

"Olivia!" the duke shouted at the dancer as she walked by.

"Oh, V-Virion, good to see you. Again, I'm sorry about earlier."

"Think nothing of it, my dear. What's more important is that we never finished our conversation from yesterday," the duke got on his knees and presented his signet ring before the dancer, "please, Dame Olivia, love of my life, grant me the happiness of being your husband, now and forever. I swear on the sanctity of my soul that I will take care of you and make it my mission to make you the happiest woman alive."

"I must admit, that's more creative than I thought you were capable of," Robin said.

"Robin, not now…" Virion grumbled.

"H-how long have you been standing there?" Olivia stuttered.

"Long enough. Vaike told me it's fun to get in the way of romance… he seems to be right. I'm dying inside of laughter!"

"Robin, please!" the Rosannean noble pleaded."

"Alright fine. Olivia, what do you have to say to the young man?"

"I… accept your proposal, and I'm going to hold you to your word!" the dancer smiled and took the signet ring from the duke, who cheerfully embraced and kissed her. The two enjoyed a long moment until they heard someone in the distance running toward them. It was Robin who first recognized exactly who it was,

"Uh, you two might want to make yourselves scarce."

"Why?"

"VIRIOOOOOON!" came Cherche's voice.

"Uh-oh…"

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! NO MORE FLIRTING!"

"Wha-" Olivia raised a brow.

"Don't think! Just run!" Virion took the dancer's arm and bolted.

"Some people…" Robin muttered and walked off.

Cue the Merrie Melodies exit tune. Or Looney Tunes. Either works.

Side note: I find Coltrane's rendition of "My Favorite Things" to be unbelievably better than the original.