Boosh-dust.
Summery- Stardust/Mighty Boosh crossover. Howard Thorn wishes to impress Victoria Gideon by going beyound their village wall to find a fallen star in a new magical world.
Disclaimer- I do not own the Boosh. I do not own Stardust either, nor the orginal book by Neil Gaiman.
Author's Notes- Noel was originally be in this film, but couldn't due to ill health :( so I'm putting him, well Vince in this now lol. This is also in script form.
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Chapter One- Beyound the Wall.
Narrator: A philosopher once asked, "Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?" Pointless, really... "Do the stars gaze back?" Now that's a question.
The image of the moon and stars retract, as we move backwards through a telescope, into an observatory. The year is approximately 1840 and we see several scientists in the room. One is writing a letter.
Narrator: But I'm getting ahead of myself. Our story really begins here, at the Royal Academy of Science in London, where a letter arrived containing a very strange inquiry. The scientist who received it thought it might be a practical joke of some kind, but yet the scientist dutifully wrote a reply to the boy, politely explaining that the query was nonsense, and posted it to the boy who lived in a village called Wall--so named, the boy had said, for the wall that ran alongside it. A wall that, according to local legend, held an extraordinary secret.
Tommy Thorn is standing beside the wall, facing Naboo, wearing his usual blue robes and turbun.
Naboo: I'm charged with guarding this gap in the wall, this portal to another world, and you're asking me to just let you through?
Tommy: Yes. Because, let's be honest: it's a field. Look. Do you see another world over there? Anything non-human? No. And you know why? Because it's a field.
Naboo: Hundreds of years, this wall's been here. Hundreds of years, this gap's been under twenty-four-hour guard. So, one more word out of you and I'll have you up in front of the village council!
Tommy: Well that's… that sounds rather final, better just go home then, I suppose.
Tommy turns and begins to walk away, then turns around and dashes through the gap. He breaks through the woods above the busy Market Town.
In Market Town, he leans towards a jar full of white spheres, then jumps back when two of them look straight at him, they are eyes. Moving through the crowd, a woman waves towards a small cage in which two tiny elephants are walking, ears flapping as they are waiting to be sold.
Then he sees a pretty girl, Monkey looking at him and he stares back. A grumpy Shaman appears- Dennis.
Dennis: I don't deal with time-wasters (to Monkey) Get over here and tend the stall. I'm off to the Slaughtered Prince for a pint.
Dennis leaves as Tommy walks up to the stall. The stall holds many colourful crystal or glass flowers, ranging for bluebells to white snowdrops, red roses to yellow daffodils.
Monkey: See anything you like?
Tommy: These ones, the blue ones.. How-how much are they?
Monkey: Hmmm… they might cost the colour of your hair or they might cost all of your memories before you were three. I can check if you'd like, but you shouldn't buy the bluebells.
She picks up a small, white, glass snowdrop.
Monkey: Buy this one instead. Snowdrop, it will bring you luck.
Tommy: But what does that cost?
Monkey: This one… costs a kiss.
She tucks the flower into his coat and taps her cheek. Tommy leans over to kiss her but she turns her head and catches his lips.
Monkey: Is he gone? Follow me.
She walks up the caravan stairs, where Tommy sees a chain on the floor and kneels to pick it up. It's tied around her ankle.
Monkey: I'm a princess, trickled into being a shaman's slave. Would you free me?
Tommy takes out his knife and cuts the chain in two places, severing a piece, but the chain just reconnects.
Monkey: It's an enchanted chain. I'll only be free when he dies, sorry.
Tommy: Well, if I can't free you, what can I do?
She smiles and gestures to the caravan, pulls him inside, and shuts the caravan doors. We pull up from the yellow caravan, high above Market Town, where the landscape fades into a map – the wall is dividing England from Stormhold.
Narrator: So the scientist was wrong, and for so many years, the wall had done its job successfully hiding the Magical Kingdom of Stormhold.
The map turns to the village of Wall on the other side and descends until we see Naboo at a door, with a basket.
Narrator: Tommy returned home, hoping his adventure would soon be forgotten, but nine months later he got an unexpected souvenir.
He opens the door, holding a lantern. Naboo hands him a basket with a sleeping baby.
Naboo: This was left at the wall for you. Says here his name's Howard.
Tommy looks delighted and takes the child without question, closing the door on the cold night.
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Sorry short chapter, but I wish this story to last a while so many shortish chapters lol enjoy ;) from chugirl2526