This is my first fan fic. :/ I promised a couple of people something by the end of the weekend, so here you go! I'm sorry about this, I think it is pretty rubbish but I would like to know what you think! Any tips or whatever would be appreciated!

But anyway, I hope you like it (even though I am expecting you too think its awful...) Sorry if there are any errors or whatever, I have checked it several times but I always miss something!

After 23 hours of what she saw as unnecessary pain, misery and effort, she lay in the bed staring up at the ceiling, trying with all her remaining might to block out all that she could hear. That sound.

The white walls, floor, ceiling, even the white blanket which covered her torn, weak, tortured body seemed to be closing in on her, like they had suddenly become black. Everything had become black now. She saw her life change from grey to black in a moment. The more desperate she became, the harder she tried, the more her surroundings closed in on her, suffocating her as she tried to hide from what was the unarguable. That sound.

The un-doubtable thing which she had dreaded, no despised, for the past 9 months of agony, was all around her and no matter how hard she tried she could not stop it. Even if she were able to move, no amount of curling up, drawing her knees to her chest, resting her face protectively on top, whilst placing her arms around her shins to hug her own body could hide her away from it. No number of mental walls, or even physical barriers, could stop this existing. She was scared. Scared of this. Scared of that sound.

She became desperate; she could not turn to her left. For there she lay. She could turn to her right. For there he lay. Those sounds. She could not look up, look down, look straight ahead for those sounds would always be near her. Eventually she snapped.

"Will someone shut those things up?!" She yelled. There was no response.

"I mean it, someone shut those moaning, whingeing things up now!" She yelled again, frightening even her this time with the bite and harsh tones in which she spoke. But these sounds did not stop. Nobody stopped them. They simply cried for help, cried with more terror, even though, just before, they had started to be all cried out.

As this is how it had been for the past hour. They had been returned to her. Not that she wanted them back and the nurses had left her with what she had called her 'cling-ons', telling her "You have been up out of bed so you are capable of moving to look after them. They will need feeding in an hour. Call us if you need anything."

Except when she called nobody came. When they cried, nobody rocked them to peacefulness. And they had simply cried to each other for that time. And single tears had rolled her down her cheeks, as she begged for someone to come and help where she knew she could not.

People had told her for the past 9 months all would be fine, she would be a great mother, she would love her children the moment she saw them and would love them unconditionally, forever. She would love them with all her heart, all her effort, all her love and she would never ever stop loving. She would be a wonderful mother, with all the right characteristics, the fairness, the sternness and the ability to care when it was desperately needed. She would not pity her children, but she would protect them for all she was worth and care for them when they were truly hurt or needed the love and comfort. Her children would be clever, strong, caring and fair and it would be down to the expert way in which she, their mother, had raised them.

But this was not right. She could not love them. And letting them cry to themselves, the boy and the girl, was the best thing she was doing. All until their father arrived. He had gone to Scotland, she had refused, and now he was coming to meet his new little cherubs. His pride and joy. And he would love them like she never could. And that made her want to distance herself from them even more, she could not admit he was better than her at this, even though she ultimately knew that he better than her in every way, so she had promised herself the second she had heard them cry for her, she wouldn't even try to help. So therefore she could not fail. But that sound still lingered.

The door opened. Jac was brought out of her thoughts. At last, she thought, she was almost thankful, this meant help. She was pleased. For 5 seconds until the enterer spoke.

"Jac? What is going on in here? What is all this crying?" He initially spoke with a trivial humour, but that changed the second he saw that the mother of his children remained still, and obviously was going to make no effort to move. He spoke again. "Why are you just lying there? Lying still doing nothing? Jac, our children, your children, they are crying for you!" He was pleading with her, he was angry with her, he was worried about her.

They were not together, that was not the case, but he still cared for her so much. He loved her so much, with that same love that best friends share, that is nor a romantic love or a pressured love, but simply a caring, respectful, ever-lasting love. And that is what he felt for her. He thought about trying again, but then he saw her.

His daughter, their daughter and his heart melted. And there, lying over in the other side of the bed was his son, their son, his daughter's older brother. For a moment he zoned out of the room, away from the crying as pride filled him. But then he remembered, they were still crying. They still needed him.

He picked up his son and walked to the bed. "Jac, take him. Take him from me. I need to hush our daughter too. But you need to hush our son. Or would you hush our daughter, please Jac, I need your help." He didn't know what to say, and it all came as questions and answers for Jac responded simply with "No."

He wanted to comfort them both, but he knew he couldn't. He needed their mother, but he hadn't worked out yet why she wouldn't hold her children, comfort her children, after all she was just lying there, in amongst her children's cries.

He looked at her with pleading eyes and a begging smile, she simply shut her eyes from him, and this scared him, so deeply.

"I said No Jonny. Please." She was literally begging him. She had never been like this with him before. And it scared him. A lot.

Before he had a chance to reply the midwife came into the room, to speak Jonny, to them. He walked to the door and she smiled at him pitifully. This annoyed him slightly.

"Yes? What did you want?" he questioned abruptly. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he insisted.

"Sorry. A couple of questions, if you don't mind. Firstly, I need names, have you decided or would like me to come back. And secondly, well… erm… its… well… its Ms Naylor. She hasn't acknowledged her children yet… She has just remained in the bed, that same bed, motionless whenever her little ones, sorry, your little ones, have been in the room."

The midwife spoke quietly as if for Jac not to hear, but she was interrupted.

"I am still here you know. I have not left. Yet. Not that I haven't wanted to mind due. But you wouldn't discharge me. So if you don't mind I would rather you speak to my face about me, not to him. And then you can let me go home. Alone." Jac seemed to be distant, yet she still knew what was going on.

This angered Jonny. "You know Jac; I thought there was something wrong with you. Like, I don't know, you were upset or dehydrated, or in pain, you seemed so distant. But I was wrong. You know full well what is going on. You could hear our children crying and you did nothing. Why Jac. Why?" He was also going to point out that he had a name and would appreciate it if she called him by it, rather than him, but then he remembered to expect nothing less of her.

Looking at the midwife he was confused, angered and still held his son in his arms while his daughter continued to cry. And it was the sound of his young daughter's tears that pained his heart. For a moment he couldn't understand how Jac could lie in the same place, listening to the heart-wrenching sounds that still filled the room. Then he remembered.

He turned to her again with his piercing eyes, filled with anger and sadness. He shouted his voice was like an arrow, hitting her heart, piercing her skin, flesh and the muscle which she needed to live.

"I can't believe you Jac. You really are so heartless, to let your children cry. Cry uncontrollably while you simply lay still. I couldn't imagine anyone, even you, to be so cold and harsh. And to think, I was in love with you. If I am honest, I was still in love with you when I walked into this room, but now… Now Jac, today you have really shown me what you are. And I am glad."

I hope that was ok! I don't know whether to update this and take it further, I have a couple of ideas... I will see what everyone thinks?!

But anyway, thanks for reading.

Hayley x