McCree opened the door to his room, it clicked shut quietly behind him. As he crossed the small stretch of hallway and rounded the corner he was forced into stopping dead in his tracks.
..Hanzo.
God damn Hanzo.
He was rolling around in the sheets naked as the day he was born.
"Hanzo?" Jesse asked warily, looking to the ceiling, the walls, the lights, anything but the stark naked man in front of him. Hanzo stopped his rolling to peer at the intruder curiously, as if not recognising him. Then, as if the cogs finally started grinding, a slow and goofy smile spread across his features like melted buttter.
"McCream!"
"Not my name, darlin'."
"McCroo?"
"Guess again."
"McCreek?"
"Almost there."
"Jesse!" And he launched himself at the cowboy.
"A'right, a'right, I'm happy to see you too, bud." McCree awkwardly patted his head, averting his gaze once again. "How did you, uh...how did ya get into my room, Han?"
The archer leaned back, arms linked behind the cowboy's head, and wiggled his eyebrows.
"The window," he whispered, and then let go and fell backwards into the bed to continue his rolling.
The window was wide open. When McCree looked around the room he couldn't spot any discarded clothes.
Did he come in...naked?
Ah, geez...he's so hammered.
McCree thought to himself before sighing.
"Come on, we've got'a get you back to your room." Jesse rummaged through his drawers, searching for old clothes that he could make Hanzo wear and then not expect back the next day. He settled for a pair of faded pyjama trousers and an old shirt.
"I want to stay here!" Hanzo complained when McCree advanced towards him holding clothes.
"Sure, you can stay," Hanzo clapped childishly with delight. "But only if you get dressed." The Shimada's smile dropped instantly.
"A'ight, I'm gon'' leave you to get dressed," McCree chuckled at Hanzo's lost expression, he looked like a child. Jesse waggled his finger at the Shimada, "And when I come back I wan' to see you in those clothes, you hear me?"
But, hey, seeing you out of them was a treat too.
Hanzo nodded slowly, carefully, and then threw the clothes on the floor aggressively, a look of distaste crossing his features. "You can't stay here if you're not dressed!" McCree sharply reminded before he left the room.
"Don't you look worse for the weather!" Tracer observed, plonking herself down into a chair opposite the cowboy. McCree merrily sighed, taking a sip of his coffee and then dragging a palm down his face dramatically.
"It's Hanzo," He admitted, and then the whole story came flooding out.
"Sounds like you should confront him," Tracer said thoughtfully, sounding distant. She sounded like she knew something McCree didn't. "But hey, what do I know?" She winked cheekily and then, with a bright flash of sudden blue, disappeared.
She definitely knows something I don't. McCree thought glumly to himself before beginning the begrudging walk back to his room.
McCree heard a crash that had him cringing as he approached his door. He knocked once and then entered.
"You decent, Han?"
"Jesse!" Hanzo called excitedly, "I'm a super hero-a super...I'm a super Hanzo!" McCree was horrified to find that the Shimada was holding Peacekeeper, and that the gun had started to glow blue. "Watch. Watch me!"
Oh fuck.
"Ryuu ga, Wagateki-" He hiccuped and, frustrated, started again. "Ryuu ga Wageteki-" Hic. He waited a little while and then attempted one last time, "Ryuu-ga, wagetekiwo Kurau!"
Jesse prepared himself for the worst but was pleasantly surprised when seeing that two arm length dazed looking dragons appeared instead of the monstrosities that he'd witnessed before in battle. Hanzo giggled delightedly and waved his arms in the air to try and catch them.
Somebody knocked at the door and McCree cursed quietly under his breath, holding an upright finger to his lips to signalise silence. Hanzo copied, eyes wide, then snorted and fell to the side where he then continued to roll around, occasionally pausing to make grabby fingers at one of his dragons.
Genji stood at the door.
"Can I help you?"
"I think you can, actually." Genji responded, attempting to peer over McCree's shoulder. The cowboy awkwardly stepped forward to fill the doorway, flashing a grin.
"Oh, yeah? What with, bud?"
"Reinhardt challenged my brother to drink a shot of some of the oldest German alcohol in history," Genji explained, his chuckle robotic. "The fool accepted and after the drink exclaimed that he had a cowboy to ride into the sunset on then leaving before any of us could catch him."
"So you...you, er, think that I might be that cowboy?"
"You are the only cowboy in Overwatch," Genji said seriously, folding his arms.
"A'right, but don't say I didn't warn you."
McCree bit his lip nervously and then beckoned Genji inside, quickly closing the door behind him.
Hanzo eyes shone with wonder and he was blowing both kisses and raspberries at the two dragons floating lazily above him.
Jesse McCree placed a comforting hand on Genji's shoulder and sighed loudly.
"He's all yours."