Sasha in her quarters not wanting to be accompanied by anyone, wanting to see no one, not wanting anyone to see her in such mess...
THAT she is inside; That moment she saw Tom in that coliseum.
she is drowning in her own thoughts not wanting to show weakness.
NOT that she did!
it's her ego of not wanting to let Tom see her unsettled. NOT wanting to give away how it made her feel once she saw him again.
HER being the strong, confident, hell-of-bad-ass-women THAT she is.
her emotions made her hate her self for knowing that her feelings for Tom never gone; not even a little.
"for being who she is, her emotions and the fact that she is with James made her angrier."
in her room walking back and forth trying her best to control that hell of a rollercoaster of emotion's that she is going through.
a nock on her door, made her snap out of her thoughts on how the hell she'll handle this shitty situation.
calm her self down. "come in " James comes in " we need you on the bridge "
he noticed that she is not being her self she just noped her head he didn't ask at the moment.
they walked to the bridge Tom, Mike, Russ was there talking about an option or a plan a way into whatever was going on.
Tom look towards her briefing her in. immediately with no holding back jumps in knowing it's her only way out of her "messy emotion ".
Tom one the other hand was in no better place.
when he got off that helo and entered the James helo-bay AND saw how Sasha was concerned about her "Bond" and his scratch; then looking at Kat and all he saw was anger, hate, and disappointment in her eyes.
no one ran to him not to check if he was okay nor too brief him.
nothing but a good-hearted Russ saluting him with a huge smile on his face...
He took a moment standing under the shower thinking of all the big-fat "IF"... he did think of all these "ifs" for 16 months some of it he found an answer for, some will never will,
BUT the few lift were all about Sasha!
what if she never broke my heart? what if I never let her go back then?
what if I asked her to come with me or at least asked her to wait for me?
worse...
what if I lost her for good?
all these if wondering lost in his head with no answer's just made him punch the wall few times, not from anger more than regret!
"seen her and knowing she doesn't care to look at him at the helo-pay" didn't leave his mind and made him bunch even harder causing his hand to bleed a little...
on the bridge, while working with the team she noticed his hand was in some sort of a rag "a-not-so-will-done kind of last-minute care or bad attempt of hiding his wounds!
"God, Tom" talking to her self without making him noticing her looking at his hand "wonder what it was! the wall ar the mirror " knowing exactly what has he done!
"caring without caring" Sasha got out of the bridge not looking at him even if she did she make sure that all he sees is a hell of strong women not giving a shit about his presence.
he eyed her all day 24/7 for 3days not knowing how or what to say to her after all he is the one who kissed her and left without a single word for 16 months!
Sasha always knew the minute he looked at her to the sconed he stops!
it has always been like that with them she can tell when He "eyes" her as much as he did the sconed she would look at him...
Let alone her being AN intelligence officer!
James comes to find her sitting in the wardroom playing with the food on her tray!
"I feel sorry for that piece of meat" James trying to get her attention.
a small smile on her lips " I was thinking ..." stops as she sees Tom at the door talking to Bacon.
James looked at where she was looking...
"Hey, you okay! it's most have been hard for you seeing him again..." she cut him off before he continued " I am fine, I don't care about him anymore "
Her head trying to yell that to her heart more than to James!
James "okay just... I want you to know I am here if you need me ... right here" holding her hand softly and placing a soft tender kiss on her forehead.
she leaned on his shoulder, looking away lost in her anger and confused thoughts!
BY midnight Tom walks out of his cabin standing on the railings looking down sees Sasha standing there holding her cool hands.
Tom knows it might be his only chance to talk to her without James popping up on them...
saw him coming she starts walking away from him...
"Sasha" Tom stopping her "please, I NEED to talk to you..."
she Interrupts him "your NEEDS are not my concern" with a look on her eyes filled with anger and hurt although she tried to hide that!
"Sasha, look please give me 5 minutes that's all I am asking, " Tom asks her with a low voice trying to calm her down ...
"WHAT! your 1 minutes is about to end" she replies
he looked at her trying to read her...
"Sasha, I know I hurt you, I didn't mean to. it's just I lost my self I lost my dad I lost tex but the wors part I almost lose my kids..."
stops and looked towards the ocean "this, the navy took half of my life I lost a lot been here been a... captain drained me..."
"Sasha, you should understand that i ..."
"your one minute ended, captain" with a firm tone and a shake of her head...
"Sasha, wait "
"no no no don't, Sasha me!" looking back at him "it's Cooper to you since..." she stopped before mentioning that awful goodbye they had, that last kiss between them.
"since what Sasha" Tom knew what it was and soon regrets asking that.
"since you walked out on us!" she looked at him
"if it's not for work do not address me nor calling me Sasha" "like I said it's Copper to you "
walks away while Tom stood there his heart almost out of beat he is barely standing straight...
"I lost her. that's... ugh that's not my Sasha"
Tom knew that moment the one women he truly loved his first true love. hates him, moved on found another shoulder to lean on.
that strong man that hell of captain felt weak in his knees!
...
after saving those refugees and James betraying her the way he did!
Tom looking at Sasha not willing to shoot that trader knowing that her heart is shattered to pieces...
Tom is eyeing her every split second of whatever chance he gots.
knowing exactly what kind of a hell-hole she's in, wanting to be there for her...
Tom stood by her cabin door!
5..10..15 minutes trying to find some strength to knock!
"knocking on the door " Sasha in tears, not wanting to open.
clears her throat! trying to sound okay.
"how is it?"
Sasha asks not wanting it to be Tom. the last person she wants to see or wants him to see her... like that.
"It's me Sasha" Tom with his coarse, gracious voice.
"what do you want?" with a shake of her head... wiping her face trying to make her blue-skyed eyes to stop crying.
"open the door, Sasha!" with a soft loving tone and a hand on the door hoping she'll let him in.
"go away, Tom " Sasha yelled at him from behind the door putting her hand on her mouth to shush her sobs...
Tom being the stubborn man he is "I am not leaving till you open the door, Sasha"
"that fucking stubborn man " in anger Sasha's thoughts
"what, what is it that you want?" Sasha bursting through the door... "isn't it enough for your kind what I have been through? tell me, Tom, you're here knowing (she is heartbroken) why not try my lu..."
Tom stopped her "Sasha!" with a look of hurt in his eyes "it's me, Tom, you know me better than that!" "I would never take an advantage of you, never"
she is standing at the door not letting him in... looking at him holding gaze for the very first time since he came back... Sasha not wanting to be lost in those ocean blue eyes...not in those eyes especially when he's worried about walks into her room looking away from him.
"I am fine... I will be fine" silence in the room when Tom entering and trying to say something she continues " I had plenty of practice... it's something I got used to"
"Sasha, please!" Tom trying to stop her from adding to his gilt, it killed him seen her broking like that, seeing the strongest women he knows broken the way She was.
"Sasha, I am her as a friend I am here to till..."
"what? here for me? funny... James said the same thing... and voilà he is nowhere to be found even better he is the one who..." stops for a second " I doesn't matter! I deserve this" "trusting men is my biggest mistake...no more no more"
walks to the door "I am good on my on" holds the door letting him know he should leave.
"It's not your fault he did what he did, nor he deserves your tears"
"only you right ?" Sasha looking at him while pointing at the door.
"god damn it, Sasha, stop this" in an angry tone looking at her while walking towards the door.
"I know I hurt you, I know that and I am so sorry! I deserve whatever punishment you give me BUT Sasha nor I or any other guy on the planet deserve your tears, no one will ever be close to deserving a tear from you"
"Sasha, I know whatever I say you will not believe me"
stops and take a step back "I love you for how you are... a strong hell of women, don't let a guy like me or James make you sad nor looking down on your self"
puts his hand on her shoulder
"you are worth everything... your worth daying for Sasha!"
"don't ever say you are not worth it ever, you hear me? ever Sasha"
"WE...we will get him, Sasha, we will get the seeds, I promise"
holding the door nope looking at her while she kept her head down broking...
"try to get some sleep will get you if anything changes "
"good night sweat...! Sasha " he wants to comfort her so bad but with how is she mad at him he couldn't do much. and almost calling her sweetheart shows how desperate he is to be with her.
Tom left and Sasha just stood there "crying a river" not cause of what James has done it because of the fact the Tom still managed to break her anger and calmed her down with few words, and touch.
Sasha buts her anger aside while she, Tom and the rest of the crow are trying to find the seeds and save the world.
days, gon by ...
Sasha sitting on the deck, the wined is flattering her dark lang beautiful hair.
"Tom, it's going to be fine" Tom looks at his dear friend trying to comfort him.
"I am not sure" heavy sight " never seeing her like this before"
stops and looks back at her sitting all alone not caring about a thing but finding the seed.
" I think I lost her Mike!" " I let her go twice, I hurt her ... I don't want to hurt her again"
"Tom I know what kind of a man are you, you will never hurt her"
"but I did when I left..." "you were hurt too, I am not saying that leaving her the way you did was right, but she will calm down give her time"
silence while the two wore looking at her " I know you two, you will get through this"
That night at 8:00 bm. a soft knock on Sasha's cabin door.
"come in" looks up to see who is at the door.
"what? did something happen!" with a surprised voice and rushed tone.
" No no, I just wanted to talk to you, if that's alright with you?"
"sure, come site"
"thank you"
"what, what is it ?"
"I talked to Tom and before you say anything, he does not know I am here nor I want him to know"
"with that being said, I also want you to know I am not taking sides"
Sasha with a confused and angry look on her face.
"look just hear me out" noticing she's getting uncomfortable.
"I know he hurt you when he left..."
Sasha with a low and broking voice looking down trying to hide her face "did he tell you how he left me?"
Mike " No, ..."
"he kissed me and took off...!
"nothing he just walked out just like that..."
sight heavily comes from Mike "Tom! you idiot " to himself.
"God knows I waited for a sign from him, I didn't care how small it was... nothing, not a word"
"you know Mike, when I saw him again all I wanted is just to get the hell out there I didn't want him back not then and definitely not know"
"I know you're being a good friend But please don't do this, it's not worth it...i...uh"
"we are not doing this again. we tried and it's not working" "I am not doing this again. I can't go through that again...no no, not again "
silence...
"Mike, thank you for caring even if it's just because he is your friend but thank you... I needed this"
Mike: "not just him, I am your friend too...I did this for both of you I wanted to help you both to sort this mess out...but your wishes are my commands, not bothering you again I promise"
"thank you Mike " hugged him for a minute.
"good night Sasha"
"good night Mike"
Sasha needed some fresh air. after this heart to heart talk.
walks her way to the deck when she sees Tom standing, leaning on to the railings.
he was suffering she could tell, she always knows in what state of mind he is in.
a few days away from home Tom knew with them securing the seeds and saving the world again, he is running out of time knowing that she'll be gone as soon as they get home.
she walks back to her cabin but not before Tom had seen her looking at him.
he stayed on deck for a couple more hours, the only noise out there was the noise of the Nathan James fighting its way throughout the angry, lonely waives of the ocean.
he was not going to give up on them, finds his way to her cabin knocking on her 's 2 in the morning she was sleeping, she was annoyed...
"who is it?"
"it's me, I am sorry Sasha..."
"what the hell Tom"
Opens the door and walks back to the bed sites on the edge.
"it's God damn 2 in the morning, Tom, what is it that you want?"
"YOU!"
"what!" Sasha opens her clear skyed-blue eyes wide in subseries, it's 2 in the morning and she was half asleep.
"I want you, I want us"
" Tom..."
"shut up and listen, I screwed up I know... and I know I might have lost you"
"I am not losing hope on winning you back I will do whatever it takes..."
Sasha cuts him of " damn you, Tom. you were the one who kissed me and you were the one who left, I waited for so long... and you got the nerve to come here with "I will die for you speech?!..." "GOD! just get out Tom, just leave!"
Tom walks towards her.
"I said, leave!"
"I will ", closing the gap between them.
"Tom, don't"
Tom adjust a stray hair, gently touches her cheek...
"Tom, no, not, doing this" pushes him away.
comes back and he pulled her tight into his arms.
try to push him away "let me go"...
"no, Sasha I am tired of your stubborn rock-solid head"
"Sasha let it go. I am here now and I won't go anywhere I promise. one last chance"
feeling her losing up Tom stopped talking when Sasha burst into tears
"you broke my heart, I waited for you... you left me Tom " "you left me!" hiding her face in his chest.
"I know, my love, I know I was stupid I thought I wasn't enough for you I was lost I was..."
"If you asked me I would have come with you, I wanted to be with you... But you left me alone "
"I thought...I was worried about you"
"I know you were, and I am sorry for leaving you behind I am really am Sasha"
coping her cheeks holding gaze, with her "I promise you I will make it up to you I love. I always have and always will if you give this one last chance I will not wast it, I will..."
"kiss me " Sasha with a smile on her face "I missed you so much, and I love you too.
so please don't break my heart again!..."
"I won't I promise"
pulling her tight with his hands on her lower back while holding gaze he puts his hand on her upper lip with a soft gentle touch moves his hand towards her cheek and she leaned on his palm feeling his tender touch she put her hand on the back of his head then down on his nick, bowling her closer wanting to feel her, even more, he placed a soft kiss on her lips while she slowly runs her hands through his hair, he puts his left hand on her hips while deepening the kiss she brack it to get some air when he bowls her back for even more passionate kiss!
in the morning cuddling on her bed not saying a word Tom looks at her holding her gaze while she draws circles on his shoulder.
he leans for a good morning kiss from the women he loves the most.
"good morning miss, cooper"
"good morning, sailor"
with a gentle touch on his cheek and with a deep look on her eyes "what now Tom!"
"we go home together" " Tom..." "I will talk to them don't worry"
silence while both are looking at each other taking in all the love each one offers for the other.
"Tom, I am sorry I was mean to you the last..."
"Shush, don't I deserved it" " no Tom you didn't, not all of at least"
"really bowling her tighter " giggles while Tom tickled her "Tom no no please stop"
laughing...
"Tom stop please" Tom stops and hugs her.
"you should leave before someone sees you"
"huh, don't want me here, miss cooper?"
"yes, you said it not me" not falling into his trap.
Tom smiles at her before leaning for one last kiss "one for the road" he called it.
"I'll be seeing you"
"you bet"
THE END