Look Out, We're Going to Crash!
by Saber Girl Leia
Summary: Mara, Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, the droids, and the Solo kids crash on an unknown planet-- to (hopefully) great hilarity. Normal EU for the moment but may become AU if I decide to bring in some ML romance later. More or less disregards everything after The Last Command. The Solo twin are most likely about four or five. Hopefully will contain a lot of Leia and Mara FRIENDLY interaction.
Disclaimer: Thank you George Lucas, Timothy Zahn, etc. (that means all the actors, editors, techies, friends, fictional characters, etc., etc. and everybody else who helped!) for creating and bringing to life this universe and not shooting me for bringing my own talents to it. I am not making any money off this, just getting in some good practice for the original stuff which will hopefully get me money eventually, and most of all having fun.
AN: I know that this starts out kind of badly, I guess my muse was out that day. Don't worry, it gets better! There's a lot of dialogue in part one, but I can try to add some more narration/description later. This is really odd for me-- usually I have pages and pages of narration and description and thoughts and like no dialogue.... Who knows. Enjoy!
Also, I think this is G at the moment, but the rating may go up.
"You're going to crash the darn ship!" The irate redhead screeched in Han's ear.
"Hey, I'm sorry sister, but this thing has no maneuverability. It's no Falcon!"
"Thank goodness for that," Leia muttered to her brother.
"I heard that!" the pilot yelled back, though no one could hear him over an earsplitting Shryiiwook roar.
"I knew there was a reason not to insult Wookies," Mara grumbled.
"The ship, a nameless relic form the war days, swerved and rolled. The entire vehicle shuddered, sending one unfortunate droid crashing to the floor as he hurried towards the cockpit.
"Oh, help! Help! We're doomed!" Threepio whined, flailing like an overturned turtle. Leia helped him up, hoping he could not hear the muttered insults coming from her husband.
The ship began a steep dive and a keening siren went off. Over the noise, Han called for a copilot.
"What's Chewie doing?" Luke called back.
"Fixing the airlock," Han said.
"Fixing the WHAT!?!?" all of the humans in the cockpit except Han screamed. Artoo whistled worriedly. Threepio began a string of 'we're doomed's.'
"It's not actually broken yet, just on its way to being," Han replied calmly.
"I... I think I'll go help him," Luke stuttered once he had regained his voice.
"No you won't," commanded Leia, "You're going to check on the kids!"
"What about you?"
"I'm going to copilot!" Luke scurried off.
"Hey!" Mara interjected, "What about me?"
"You are going to take over from Han!"
"Wha-bu-I- You can't do that! You're my wife! You're supposed to take my side! 'Till death do us part'-- we're not dead yet!"
"Sorry Han, girl power." Leia and Mara both smirked. "And we're going to die if we crash."
"Aw, shutup Leia. I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this." Leia just rolled her eyes and pulled her hair back into a tight bun.
A few seconds later, Han had not moved from the pilot's seat. Mara stood over him and gave him a trademark glare. Leia was, quite frankly, surprised he'd lasted this long. Most couldn't, when feeling Mara's wrath. "Move it, Captain," Mara threatened. The last word was almost a sneer.
Pause. "Mara-- not that I don't trust you or anything... but no."
She slapped him.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwww. Lei-a, are you really going to let her do this to me?"
"Yes, nerfherder."
Watch out! yelled a voice in Leia and Mara's minds.
"Who was that?" Mara asked. "It didn't sound like Luke." She made another lunge for the controls. The ship was steered using a small, joystick style rod, which Han had a firm grip on. Whoever had designed this thing had obviously never flown anything him, her, or itself.
"Anakin," Leia stated simply.
"Darth Vader's alter-ego ghost it talking to us!?" Mara exclaimed. "Yup, we're dead."
Leia groaned. "Little Anakin. We're coming up on the atmosphere-- I think that's why he was warning us-- we are equipped to deal with that, aren't we Han? Heat and friction shields and all?"
"Um... maybe..."
"HAN!"
Mara made one last attempt to grab the controls, but Han jerked them away at the last moment. A little too forcefully.
CRACK. With a sickening noise, the stick broke off at the base. The trio stared, dumbstruck. Threeepio babbled unnoticed in the background. Artoo had gone off to help Chewie if he could.
"This is bad," Leia finally murmured.
"That is an understatement," Han quipped back.
"Maybe," Mara mused, "you and me and Luke together could move this thing with the Force...?"
"That is bad grammar, Miss Jade," Threepio said. No one paid any attention.
"It's an idea... Let's call him." Leia and Mara sent out their mental message, hoping their last ditch plan could work.