A Blank State of Mind
(A/N: This piece was definitely inspired by the YouTube video 'I Created a Scene to Make Voldemort as Hate-able as Umbridge. It Worked' by Uniquenameosaurus. I used his scene as the initial prompt for my story.
Also obligatory copyright talk, all characters and (most) settings are property of JK Rowling and all affiliated partners/companies)
Chapter 1: Out with the Old, In with the New
To say Hermione's surroundings were chaotic would be an understatement. Curses and charms were being fired in every direction. The duels between the death eaters and the order members were happening at such a rapid pace, Hermione was suffering from motion sickness just thinking about it. She was struggling to remain calm and logical and most importantly she was failing at being any use to those who needed her right now. She really didn't feel like a Gryffindor at this moment.
Trying, and failing, to emulate the order members she admired so greatly as her spells missed death eater after death eater. Hermione was used to being praised (and occasionally scolded) for being so mature for her age yet now in these moments fifteen had never felt so childish, hardly on the cusp of womanhood. Her mind was racing, a million thoughts, sentiments and feelings, so many choices, endless possibilities and outcomes and fears and mistakes and -
"Hermione, snap out of it. I – We need you right now." Ron's hoarse voice pulled her out of her mind and this time she was grateful for his bluntness. Her friends needed her and Hermione was not about to let them down.
Seeing an opening, Hermione darted to wall that was strategically located near the sole exit. It meant that no one could sneak up on her as she was angled in a way that made her a much smaller target. But most importantly, anyone that was leaving or entering the room had to pass her which made it a lot easier to incapacitate foes. Scanning the room, she noticed that Rabastan Lestrange was relatively isolated making him as easy target.
"Stupefy!" The robed death eater crumpled to the ground, reassuring Hermione that she could do this. She briefly locked eyes with Kingsley and he gave a her quick nod of acknowledgement. Now she was certain that she could do this.
Hermione continued to scan the room and fired spells at death eaters who she could clearly target with minimal risk of injury to her friends. Between the students and the order members it looked like the death eaters were on the ropes. They couldn't hold them off for too much longer. They'd be able to secure the prophecy and get back to school soon. With that comforting bit of knowledge, Hermione started firing off spells at a quicker rate.
A scream filled the air and sounded like a feeling Hermione could not put into the words. It was pain, anguish, regret, grief, sadness and so many other things all in one. It made Hermione's heart throb painfully in her chest and she dreaded to look over in the direction from which it came. The direction of one of Hermione's best friends, Harry Potter.
Reluctantly, Hermione saw that Lupin was restraining a distraught Harry from chasing after a gloating Bellatrix.
Her goading laughter filled the air as she half – sang, half – chanted
"I killed Sirus Black, I killed Sirus Black,"Her manic grin and sparkling eyes were a sight that neither Hermione nor Harry would ever forget.
Harry's rage filled him with a surge of adrenaline that gave him the strength to barrel out of Lupin's grip and take off after Bellatrix Lestrange. Without even thinking or looking back Hermione followed Harry, she had to help him.
Hermione knew that Harry was a better duellist than her due to his quick reflexes and intuitive spell casting but even Harry couldn't take down Bellatrix by himself especially when he was so consumed by grief and revenge. She had to make sure that Harry didn't get hurt or do anything he'd regret. As Harry's friend, Hermione owed him that much at least.
Due to her shock rooting her to the spot for a few moments, Hermione was now racing down the halls playing catch up. Thankfully, between Bellatrix's taunts and Harry's furious replies their voices became the guide she needed to find them.
Just as Harry's messy hair was in sight, Hermione saw Bellatrix disappear into the emerald flames of the floo network. Her eyes glittering fiercely, her mean spirited laughter bouncing off of the walls and pounding around Hermione's brain. Her face became distorted as the flames swallowed her, making the woman even more terrifying than she was to begin with which was no easy feat in itself.
Hermione had been so consumed in watching Bellatrix flee that she failed to notice Lord Voldemort advance on Harry.
"Expelliarmus" He hissed, as Harry's wand went flying through the air, clattered on the floor and rolled away. Hermione and Harry locked eyes in desperation, just as Harry was about to address Hermione Voldemort continued
"So Harry Potter, here we are yet again and this time you've brought your famous mudblood that I've heard so much about. The infamous Hermione Granger who is frozen uselessly to spot. Such a shame given the high praise you ramble about her any chance you get." Voldemort's gaze left Harry's and lingered on Hermione for a while.
In those moments, Hermione felt as though everything she had ever said, thought or done was on display to him. She knew that now was her chance to slow him down and protect Harry. Yet all she could think about was every deed and misdeed this man comitted, the hours she had spent researching him and learning about his followers. Now, the most feared wizard in Britain's history was analysing her. She desperately wanted to cast a spell or better yet throw her wand to Harry so he could do something. But she didn't, she was paralysed by fear. She was no Gryffindor.
"Hermione, please, do something" Harry insisted although she could hear the rising frustration in his voice as he said it.
"Don't waste your breath Potter. Now you're finally seeing them for what they are - disappointments, blemishes on the face of the wizarding community. Yet instead of doing the honourable thing and wiping our faces clean, we proudly and perversely parade them instead."
"You're wrong," Harry rebutted "Hermione, my mother were the two brightest witches of their age. Many other muggleborns have shown far more skill and promise than many of the purebloods have ever shown at Hogwarts. No one at school can even come close to Hermione's scores, even when it comes to magical knowledge outside of Hogwarts, Hermione is unmatched, she -"
Voldemort laughed, a cold cruel laugh without a trace of humour.
"Why do you think that is Potter? Could it be that our history reads like fantasy to them. Our world is so advanced compared to theirs that they try to lose themselves and what they really are by throwing themselves head first into our customs and culture. They steal our magic and our ways and have the audacity to present themselves as true wizards and witches.
The truly believe that they belong here. But they and you and those who agree with you are sorely mistaken. Anyone can memorise textbooks but magic is more than words on the page. Magic is the true essence of a wizard or witches' soul. It is the foundation of our being, our very existence. Everything we do reflects this. But the filthy muggles who have infiltrated our system know this.
They also know that this essence cannot be faked, why do you think there is 'dark' and 'light' magic? There is no such thing as either, you foolish muggle lover. The true difference is those who are here by birthright have no such limitations when it comes to spells. Muggles and their subservient followers punish those who point out the obvious fundamental differences between them and us.
They have earned the names mudblood for a reason. Of course we all bleed the same shade of red. But the 'blood' of a mudblood is tainted, their essence is tarnished for their magic is stolen, unearned. Magic that belonged to squibs and those whose magic is impaired. Magic belonging to pureblood children that was taken to be given to muggles all in the name of 'peace'.
Tell me I'm wrong Potter. Tell me that even you cannot see the sense in what I'm saying"
Voldemort coolly finished his speech, his gaze had long left Hermione's face and returned to Harry's. His face was almost unreadable except the glint in his eyes betrayed the longing that he wanted Harry to agree and abandon Hermione.
Hermione knew better, her magic was not stolen she was born that way. No matter how convincing his speeches may be, he could never take away her right to be here. She knew that if life was film, this would be the moment she raised her wand and cast a spell that knocked Voldemort flat on his arse as due punishment for what he said. But life is not a film and she was still standing motionless, failing terribly for the first time in her life.
"Hermione, if you're not going to use your wand then bloody give it to someone who will!" Harry seethed, frustrations finally boiling over. Hermione swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat at his words and stammered
"St-St-stupefy." the spell left her mouth as a faint whisper and Hermione was horrified to see a couple of red sparks leave her wand and nothing more. She was so pathetic that she couldn't even perform a simple stun charm.
Voldemort's cackle ripped through the air, hitting Hermione like a punch in the chest.
"So Potter, this is the best your precious mudblood can do. This is what qualifies as a Gryffindor, I've seen house elves who were more bold," His eyes had once again landed on her face and Hermione could see they were filled with nothing but contempt for her.
"What do you value most? Your knowledge I presume, actually you value our knowledge. You value something that you shouldn't even have. If Potter is right about you then it wouldn't make a difference if you lost some of that knowledge now would it? If mudbloods truly are the same, then even without your memory of magic you would still know wouldn't you?The same way many true wizarding children instinctively know what they are."
"Don't you dare, don't you dare hurt her!Hermione cast protego, get out of the line of fire! Before his spell hits you! Just do something!" Harry's desperate cry pierced Hermione's ears but she was too slow, too scared to defend herself from him.
"Obliviate, let's see how much of a prodigy the mudblood is now Potter" Voldemort said, Harry could hear the smirk in his voice however before he could retort Voldemort continued.
"Not that you'll live that long, Avada Kerdava!" He shrieked as Harry dived for Hermione's wand. If he could reach it in time he may stand a chance, he may live to see tomorrow.
"Protego" boomed Albus Dumbledore, who Harry had never been so happy to see in all of his rather short life.
"Harry, take Hermione and get out of range, leave Riddle to me." Dumbledore instructed, Harry was about to protest before Dumbledore cut him off
"Now!"
Harry half – carried, half – dragged Hermione behind some pillars in the entrance hall of the Ministry of Magic. Once safely behind the cover of the structures he took a look at Hermione.
Her eyes had a glassy, vacant expression similar to the vague look that graced the face of Gilderoy Lockheart after his encounter with the charm in second year. But whilst Lockheart had immediately continued being his animated self, Hermione was still. Too still.
Her body had a limp posture as though her spine was no longer able to support her. There was no sounds from Hermione other than her steady, quiet breathing. It was incredibly unnerving and it made Harry wonder if this was really just a simple memory charm that had been cast. Whatever it was, she needed help immediately.
Hermione was aware of some of her surroundings. She was lying in the lap of a boy whose concerned eyes peered down at her, the intensity of which were not lost behind the thick lenses of his glasses. He had unruly black hair, lightly tanned skin and deep emerald eyes paired with a lithe muscular frame. It was clear to Hermione that he was both active and attractive but now was not the time to be noticing that about him. Just who was he?
She felt that she should know this boy but his face was unrecognisable to her. A swell of uneasiness and exhaustion began to rise in the pit of Hermione's stomach. There were explosions and flashes of light assaulted her senses, it was overwhelming. Just how did she get here and why did she feel so faint all of a sudden. For the last time today, Hermione failed herself as she gave into exhaustion.