look two in one night! haha but just a preview for what's ahead. I'm working on another chapter stroy but i want to get a few more chapters doen because im on a major block with it right now and then the follow ups for not anymore that i still. need . to . write... :) but enojy! review!
Gazing up at the stars Rachel turned to face Mike. She found him to be staring back at her. It had been the weirdest day that had gotten them where they are now, McKinley High's roof. Where had it all started?
Oh yeah, glee practice. Why had Finn opened his big mouth?
"Rachel, why aren't you focusing?" Mr. Schuester called from the front of the group.
"Sorry, Mr. Schue. I'll try a little harder." Truth was Rachel was trying as hard as she could, it was just that focusing lately wasn't exactly easy for her.
Half an hour later she was still making the same mistake. "Rachel what's wrong with you today?" Mr. Schuester called again.
"Seriously!" Puck hollered as she turned the wrong way and slammed into him.
"Seriously Berry, even Finn has this down," Santana jeered.
Suddenly it seemed like everyone was joining in. Rachel could hear a swirl of voices coming from Mr. Schuester, Santana, Quinn, Mercedes, and Puck. Clapping her hands over her ears she curled up on the floor, her mind being thrust into the night before, and several other similar evenings.
She felt Finn kneel down beside her and pull her hands away from her ears. "It's going to be okay, I'm here right now, no one else." But there was someone else. Mike was next to Finn trying to get her to stand up.
Finally tuning back into the present Rachel yelled, "I'm sorry everyone! It's just not my day! I don't see you guys yelling at Finn when he's messing up the dancing or Quinn when she sings flat! Cut me some slack!"
"Calm down Rach, just ignore them," Mike whispered in her ear. She was sure though he could feel the shiver run down her spine.
Finn took a different approach though. "Will you guys leave her alone! She's dealing with a lot okay! How would you feel after two months of your parents fighting until three in the morning? Would you be able to sleep at night? Would you be able to focus during the day?"
He was so sweet, but so stupid.
"Finn!" Rachel screamed. Finn's expression quickly changed from angry to knowing he'd just messed up, big time. "How could you? I thought I'd be able to trust you with this!"
"I'm sorry Rachel," Finn said pleadingly. "I was just trying to get them to stop yelling at you! It slipped!"
"Well, we've been slipping for two months but I've managed not to say that out loud."
"What are you talking about?" Finn said, taking a step closer, trying to take Rachel's hands. She jerked them away though. She was sick of him looking at her with those pitying eyes, like she was suddenly a charity case.
"All you can talk about with me now and for the past two months are my dads. 'Are you okay? Are you getting enough sleep? Do you want me to talk to them?' Sure, asking me once a day or maybe twice wouldn't be bad but that's all you talk about now. Did you ever think that I want to be with you to forget about it? So I wouldn't have their voices echoing in my brain?"
"I'm sorry Rachel, I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I've tried Finn, almost every day, but you're not listening anymore. Since you're listening now though, I think we need to break up."
Mutters went around the choir room. Rachel had actually forgotten they were there listening with rapt attention to the drama unfolding. She was afraid to look at them though. She didn't want to see their smug faces about her break up or their pitying glances about her dads.
"Rachel, come on. I'm the only one who gets you right now." He was begging. It hurt her to ignore his pleas but she had to.
"Well, thanks to you everyone can start to get me. Just please stop Finn, I can't take another argument."
With that she walked out of the choir room. Half way down the hall she heard running footsteps. Expecting to see Finn, she was surprised to find Mike behind her. He wasn't staring at her like she was a kicked puppy, just like he understood that needed to go anywhere rather than where she was.
He gave her a small smile and when she started walking again, he walked with her.
She wondered why he had followed her. She tried to find the answers in his searching eyes but couldn't find anything. Looking back up at the sky she looked at the moon, big and white. It was really pretty actually. Glancing at Mike again he was still staring at her. Her day had actually gotten worse after that.
"So, where are we going?" Mike had followed her out to her car and had hopped into the passenger seat.
Rachel sighed heavily. She was exhausted. She hadn't slept properly in a while and glee had just taken the last of her energy. "I don't know. I don't want to go home though. Nothing's right there."
"Then, stay at my place tonight." He said it tentatively, but he sounded like he really meant it. He must've seen the uncertainty in her face because he quickly said, "You don't have to, but I don't mind and the only other person home right now is my younger brother."
"What about Tina?"
"She won't care," he said a little too quickly.
"All right. I guess it's better than another noisy night. Can we stop at my really fast? Get some things?"
He nodded in agreement. "Of course." Rachel pulled out of the parking lot, very aware of the silence that had now fallen between them. Somehow though, it was comforting. It was much better than the constant questions and reassurances from Finn.
Walking into her house everything was quiet. Only one of her dads was home then. Good, maybe she could get in and out without being noticed or hearing anything.
Before she could make it to the base of the stairs her dad, John, popped out of the living room. He looked so calm, normal. He had his reading glasses on and newspaper in hand. She missed that.
"You're home early sweetie. Is everything okay?"
Rachel bit her tongue and held back the words she wanted to scream at her father. "Well, kind of. I broke up with Finn today."
"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He held her in a tight hug.
"Yeah, I'm fine dad. It was a long time coming."
"Apparently, because you're trying to sneak a boy past me into your room. Who's this?"
Mike stepped up before Rachel could say anything. Sticking out his hand he said, "I'm Mike. It's nice to meet you Mr. Berry."
"It's a pleasure Mike." Just then the door banged open. Before Mike could even glance to see who it was Rachel grabbed his hand and yanked him up the stairs. She couldn't slam her door fast enough though before Mike heard some distant yelling. He couldn't make out any words though because Rachel quickly locked her door.
"Could you just grab some clothes for me? I need to do something quick." After she threw him a small gym bag she went into her bathroom. Slightly taken aback Mike started looking around for some shirts. After he'd grabbed a complete outfit for her, having shut his eyes when he grabbed her a bra and underwear, he saw her I-pod on her desk.
"Hey Rachel?" he said knocking on the bathroom door. He didn't hear her respond so he pushed the door open a little. "Rachel, did you want me to grab-" He quickly forgot what he was going to ask when he saw the sight in front of him.
Rachel was crouched against the opposite wall with her sleeve rolled up, a razor in her hand. He could see some blood already trailing down her arm.
Her head shot up and her face immediately fell and she broke into loud sobs. She didn't put up a fight when he raced over and took the razor out of her hand. Throwing it across the small room he grabbed some bandages out of her cabinet and quickly wrapped her arm up. He tried to ignore the few cuts he could see above it.
Rolling her sleeve back down he pulled her up on her feet. "Um… did you want your I-pod?"
She grabbed the small rectangle out of his hand. "Yeah, thanks."
They both walked out of the bathroom, and Rachel could again hear muffled yells from downstairs. Covering her ears she tried to turn and run back into the bathroom but Mike grabbed her around the waist and pulled her farther into her room. She was still fighting though. "Please Mike! It hurts so much!"
"It's not worth it!" He forced her eyes to look into his. "Rachel, you're so much better than that. This is your dads' problems, not yours. Don't hurt yourself for them. It won't help anything."
She stopped struggling and collapsed into his arms, sobbing. It killed him to see it. He knew he had to get her out of here fast, and he knew the place to take her. "Come on."
He grabbed the bag and her hand. They quickly ran down the stairs and out of the house. He didn't give Rachel a chance to hear what her dads were yelling at each other.
Jamming her keys into the ignition he drove them away from Rachel's house of horror.
And for some reason Mike had taken her here, on top of McKinley High's roof. She didn't know where he'd gotten the keys to get them into the school and the auditorium but she didn't care. She'd followed him through the auditorium and up through the lose ceiling tile back stage and out into the night.
It was relaxing up here, the gravely texture on her back giving her a slight massage whenever she shifted her position. The stars, the moon, just glowing in the sky.
She rolled onto her side and finally looked Mike fully into the face. "Thank you." She said it with a small smile on her face. It was small, but it was real. She felt relaxed, at peace with the world.
"Anytime," Mike said softly. He hadn't taken his off of her since they'd gotten there. For the first time in a couple months she didn't seem to be thinking about something. Didn't seem to be battling with the voices he knew were echoing in her head. Just staring into space, which is why he'd brought her here. This was where he had always come when things were weird in life.
"Why?" Mike didn't need her to explain more. He knew she was wondering why he'd followed her today. He admitted it had been random, but like her break up with Finn, it had been a long time coming.
"Because you needed someone with you, to help you not think about things, and more than I knew." He glanced at her covered arm, but quickly looked away.
"Yeah, I'm sorry you walked in on that," Rachel said sheepishly. She rubbed her arm, remembering the first time she'd put the razor to her skin. She couldn't believe what she had done, but for that brief moment she had felt better.
"I'm not," Mike said simply. She smiled at his kindness, and felt the urge to hug him, but he pulled her close first. Rachel felt like she couldn't breathe. Not in a suffocating way, more like her breath had been taken away.
She didn't want him to let go and it seemed like he didn't want to either. She didn't know how long they lay there, just feeling him run his hand through her hair and listening to his heartbeat. It was slow and steady… so soothing.
"Tina and I broke up." Mike's voice broke the silence. It came out quick, like he needed to get that off his chest, like he'd been holding it in for a while, like he couldn't help but tell her.
Normally this news would've made Rachel jump out of his arms and demand an explanation, but she couldn't move away from the sound of his heart. So she calmly asked, "When?"
"About a week ago." His voice was smooth again, glad Rachel hadn't made a huge deal about this like his parents had. But they had been making a big deal out of everything lately. Man that had been horrible.
"Why," Rachel asked, "haven't you guys told anyone?"
She felt Mike shrug. "There hasn't really been a time to tell people. We kind of figured everyone would notice us not together during rehearsals and stuff."
"Well I didn't notice anything," she said with a sigh.
"And I don't blame you." His voice was understanding, a little too understanding. "My parents have been fighting off and on for a while now. Don't worry about your dads too much. This is their fight to figure out, not yours."
"Thank you. That's something I've needed to hear." Rachel thought about the last few months with Finn, always making sure she was safe and doing all she could to make things less tense around the house. He tried to get her involved, which was the last thing she wanted, like the last thing she had wanted lately was to be around him. All they're bickering had made her love him a lot less, which led her to think of her break up earlier, and then Mike and Tina's, and then, "Why did you two break up?"
Mike sighed. "We were getting bored, couldn't find anything to talk about. I was getting sick of making out twenty four seven, and she was getting sick of me, asking if she knew why you'd been acting weird."
Rachel felt herself blush in the darkness. "When did all this start?"
"A little less than two months ago."
She finally tore her eyes away from the moon to stare back into his. She knew what would happen before it did, and she didn't make any attempts to stop it. It was just a kiss. Simple, innocent.
She pulled away quickly though. No, she couldn't do this. She wasn't right for him. She was far from simple and far from innocent. She just had to look at her arms for that.
"What's wrong?" Mike stared back with concern into her scared eyes.
"I'm no good for you Mike. I'm just this little mess that freaks people out."
"I don't care what you think of yourself Rachel," he said defiantly. "I think you're beautiful and smart and talented. Why would that freak anyone out?"
Rachel finally broke away from Mike's embrace and rolled up her sleeve, exposing her thin scars to the cold night air. "Now are you freaked out?"
Mike tentatively put his hand out and ran it up and down her arm. Slowly, he inched back up and interlocked their fingers together. "Not at all."
Then another kiss… just a kiss.
He helped her to stand up, still gazing at her with love that she had never felt from Finn. "We should get you some sleep. From what I've heard, you need it."
She let him lead her back to the car and didn't say anything as they drove toward his house. Once there Rachel finally realized how late it was. Sleepily she followed Mike up stairs into a guest bedroom and let him tuck her in. He was about to turn out the light when she called for him.
All the way there she'd thought about it. Mike was a good guy and of they took it slow, she could find herself truly falling for him. Why not let him know?
"What about a kiss goodnight?"
He turned back to her, smiled gently and came back. He actually slid under the covers next to her, took her in his arms and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight."