Title: Bone Fracture.
Disclaimer: I don't own Batman Beyond and make no money from this.
Warnings: Some liberties are taken. May be hinted slash, but it's actually tilted more towards friendship than love.
Summary: These are 21 facts about the Jokerz resident human/hyena hybrid, because, surprise, there is nothing about him out on the web.
There is a connection between this fic and my other Batman Beyond fics, but it is not really needed for anyone to read those.
1:
Before he took that round of shots to turn him into what he is, Woof was actually fairly attractive. There wasn't a barmaid or horny teenager that would refuse an invite from him for a night on the town.
Now that he walked on his hands and had fur, he hadn't had any dates or romantic conquests come into his life. Not even a night of wild fun with one of the slutty Joker bimbos. It was depressing really.
2:
He has never been in love. Not ever, but he likes the idea of someday falling into it. Like a duck out of the north flying thousands of miles and then when it's given up hope and plummets into a dive to kill itself it finds a pitiful or gorgeous lake in the middle of nowhere; not only springing with life, but holding another duck at its center. That's what he's hoping for if he falls into love.
3:
Ghoul is his first friend. Sure, when he was younger and more or less normal he had acquaintances that could have been close, but never like him and Ghoul. Ghoul actually gave a damn about him when he was hurt and Woof respected the blond for getting away from his old life.
If he can help it, he will make it so their close relationship will never change.
4:
He's not a very good liar. He should probably just have a big light over his head when he lied by omission or otherwise, because he has so many nervous tics and tells that he wonders often how he's lived so long in a gang.
5:
There are two songs on his music player that cause him both happiness and shame. Happiness because the lyrics are catchy, and bright and innocent; shame because of the genre they come from.
One is 'Tomorrow' from the musical Annie. There is not a thing in the world that can save him from the humiliation bound to happen if the other Jokerz find that. The second, and here he knows he's sad and pathetic and will be struck down if he plays that anywhere near his friends, is 'Kiss the Girl' from the Little Mermaid.
6:
Melons make him happy.
7:
Through his childhood and up, his career choices have changed drastically. At five, he wanted to be a fireman. At nine he wanted to be a doctor. At thirteen he wanted to run away from home and join people that would understand him.
Nowadays he doesn't know what he wants to be when he reaches adulthood. He has a resolution to be able to talk again, but for now he's somewhat content.
8:
Aside from the obvious things that can't happen now that he's been spliced—balding, sexually transmitted diseases, have children-he can no longer get a sunburn. This is fabulous for him. Wonderful too, because with his gang one could never know if they ever went to the beach and he fell asleep whether they would leave shells on his skin so he tanned and later looked as though he had some skin disease.
9:
Delia scares the hell out of him. Well, scares the hell out of him now.
It only just started since the Joker came back into Gotham, but he doesn't remember ever being afraid of her before. To the contrary, he used to have a bit of an attraction towards her. The way she pranced around like she owned the world got annoying, but she was still funny, cute, perky, most likely dynamite in the sack—until now, that is. Now, instead of attraction, there's this instinct to make sure he'd at least five feet away from her when she enters the room.
10:
The first time he ever met Bonk and Chucko, the two were sneaking into his and Ghoul's hiding place in a dingy, forgotten apartment. They were running from the cops and had just dived through the open window and on top of his own sleeping form. Not so good for them. Ghoul found some use for them later, but he first had to drag the splicer away from the two cowering Jokerz clinging to a ceiling banister, both bleeding from wide bite marks on the arms.
11:
He's knows it's weird in this day and age, but he really likes paper books. They're better on his eyesight and the feeling of paper under his fingers is, in a strange way, comforting. Like a reminder of a past he was never any part of.
12:
He has seen aliens at least twice in his life.
Once, when he was very little and walking home from the park, he saw the Martian Manhunter with Superman walking away from what must have been a battle site. Both passed by him with a little smile or nod and he just smiled back, not knowing to do anything different.
The second time was when he had just left home and had somehow landed in Central City after taking the quickest train out of his own home town. He was crossing a bridge and saw Hawkgirl and another hero—was it her son?—flying towards the Flash Museum.
It was kinda awesome.
13:
Woof gets seasick easy because of his splicing. Hyenas are placed in the middle of the plains and use what little water there is out there to drink or bathe in mud. If he were thrown into the water, he's not sure if he'd be able to swim, either.
14:
He misses being almost six feet tall and having green eyes.
15:
Woof used to like both of the Deeds, but something changed. Now he thinks of them as the living embodiment of hyena politics.
If their little group should be classified in hyena terms, then the guys were the hunters and enforcers and the girls were the matriarchy. Well, actually, if Woof really thought about it, Delia was the matriarch who constantly beat her inferior twin into submission for the top spot and Deidre stayed submissive, lest she suffer fratricide.
Now that was something that stood out in Woof's mind whenever he was in the twins' presence. It was something that happened between hyena pups in early life, where the first born and strongest of the pair would lie in wait and then kill its sibling as soon as possible to maintain some level of control. It was starting to manifest in Delia, who was older, stronger and meaner by far; if he thought about it, which he hated, she would definitely kill Deidre without a second thought. He would respect Delia, but now he'd keep a better eye on Deidre and protect her if need be.
16:
He got his first tattoo after being friends with Ghoul for a whole year to the day. It's just a small thing, a name and a set of numbers in black with a fancy font and marked into his right shoulder, but it means a lot.
It's Ghoul's name and the month, day and year they met.
17:
Woof has a very specific way of looking at their merry band of Jokerz.
Ghoul is his best friend and unofficial leader. Chucko is their supposed leader, but really more of a head hunter that needs their help, because he can't do anything alone. Bonk is their muscle and territorial "second in command." Delia is the trickster, Matriarch, possibly sociopathic sex symbol who knows way too much about the underground than could be healthy. And Deidre is, for lack of any better description, their maternal voice of reason or little sister.
Woof himself can't think of himself as anything more than a guard dog, but is pleasantly surprised when Ghoul and Deidre rebuke this thought.
18:
He had a real name once. Dignified and almost regal since his parents were rich and wanted to portray him as such as well. He could have told it to Ghoul when they first met, but when Ghoul christened him 'Woof', the splicer found that to be far more appropriate. He'll never tell the Jokerz his real name now.
19:
His favorite color is ashen blond. Like dead leaves, like sunlight, like Ghoul and Deidre's hair.
20:
He met the Deeds' grandmother once by accident and just knows who she was. Delia thinks she's just a senile old hag and he'd wondered why Deidre is so hyper-protective of the woman and after running into her outside a grocery store he knows why now.
He'd run right into her and she hadn't bowled over. She hadn't run screaming at the sight of him. She'd offered him a hand to lift himself, smiled and went on to her car with her groceries. She's waved once she got into the car and told him to tell her kids 'Hi.'
The only original Rogue alive in Gotham and she was a grandmother. He liked that kind of fairy tale ending. It was better than being blown up, he supposed.
21:
Woof and Ghoul broke out of jail on the same night the Joker disappeared forever and despite being on opposite sides of town, they ended up in the same apartment they'd first met. Neither of them commented on this, they just got out the blankets they'd hidden beneath the floor boards just in case and gone to sleep.
Nothing was said when they rested together, but it went without saying that both were glad for these events. They'd find what remained of their gang later and go back to how things had been (sans Bonk) before all this had happened. Neither had liked Joker, imposter or not (though both silently leaned toward 'not') and would prefer things going off without needless killing and global take-over. Simple thievery was their thing and they were glad to get it back.
None more so than Woof and Ghoul themselves.