All right, I finally figured out how to get italics in a story on the site!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, so sue me. I dare ya.
Ides of March Episode 1: Strange HappeningsHi! My name is Serena. I'm too lazy to describe all my pals and who I am and all that junk. Hmmm… When did this all start? It was June 30. Oh! No! That's my birthday. Or maybe it was October 31, no that's Halloween. No that can't be it.
Raye grabs the pen from Serena. Since Serena is such a dumb… Raye is about to write a rather unpleasant word when everyone gasps and Serena (in slow motion) runs towards Raye and pushes the paper away. Inconspicuously, at the same time, she manages to take Raye's pen without anyone seeing.
Serena takes a huge breath. "There is to be absolutely and I mean absolutely no cursing! (An American flag appears in the background and the "Star Spangled Banner" begins to play.) Raye! You should be ashamed of yourself. You were about to commit a heinous deed. By saying that dreadful word, you could have sullied our pure reputation as sailor scouts. This is supposed to be a G-rated fan fic and we're supposed to be the sailor scouts! There are tons of little kids looking up to you, to all of us. Do you know how bad an example you could have set for those kids by saying that word???? We are the sailor scouts and we must be good role models! Oh! Geez how did I know how to use all these words? Guess I've been hanging around Amy too much."
At this point, all the scouts except Raye have been sweat dropping like crazy. Raye, meanwhile, took Serena's speech seriously and has put her head down in ignominy and her eyes have started to water. "Oh dear! I'm being such a horrible role model. I should now write an apology letter or note to all my fans. Hey! Wait a second, where is my pen…Serena!!!"
Raye is furious as she realizes that she has been fooled by Serena (of all people) and pulls Serena down in a foot lock as she tries to grab the pen from Serena. Serena is screaming out in pain when Amy suddenly interrupts the two. "Hey you two, don't fight. And I just found out when all our misadventures began. According to my diary which contains all my most private innermost thoughts, it says it was the Ides of March or the fifteenth of March." Mina gasps. "A diary with all of Amy's most private and innermost thoughts? Oh my gosh! I've gotta read that. Oh! Amy let me see." She tries to get Amy's diary, but Amy runs away. Mina, being the graceful one of the group, accidentally trips on Raye and Serena who are still wresting each other and fighting for the pen as she chases Amy.
Raye suddenly realizes that after Mina tripped over her, her hair has (gasped) been messed up. Crying out bloody murder, Raye releases Serena and starts chasing after Mina. At this precise moment, Lita enters the room and sees all the commotion. Amy has mysteriously vanished and Raye is madly chasing Mina around the room. "Lita help me! Raye has gone nuts!" Meanwhile, Serena is still sprawled on the floor, exhausted from wrestling Raye.
After seeing that well comparatively, Mina was the most sane out of the three girls in the room since Raye is quite insane angry and Serena is well dazed, Lita decided to Mina about what had happened. In response, Mina breathlessly pants "Must read Amy's diary which contains all of her most private and innermost thoughts. Raye get off me! Amy's getting away!" The realization of a diary full of private secrets suddenly hits Lita and she sees Amy quietly and quickly trying to head down the stairs. "Amy! You are not getting away! Screw privacy! Let me see your diary!" Lita starts chasing after her and Mina who has finally figured out that she could indeed try to get away from Raye by leaving the room and also begins to chase after Amy. Of course, Raye is still insanely furious with Mina for (Heaven forbid messing up her hair) and continues chasing after Mina. Serena starts to follow but then realizes that she is alone, still has the pen (which is surrounded by a golden halo right now and the song hallelujah starts playing), and that she could be the first one to narrate the story. After all, everything did begin at her house.
Thus begins our story, with Serena narrating the first chapter/episode.
Ha! I get to write the first episode of these series. In your face Raye! Wow, I went through all that trouble just to write the first episode… I wonder how much trouble it will be to write the last episode… Oh! Forget about the last chapter for now. I will find another plan to deviously prevent my friends from writing it. Anyways it all started on a cold dreary and stormy night. The lightning flashed outside our house in the direction of that evil institution called school where there are worse things than monsters and villains like teachers and homework and tests that just pop out of no where and pounce on you. The thunder reverberated outside. Yes, another typical day. I will be heading to that torture chamber called school. As I contemplated these thoughts, suddenly a monster with an ax in its hand stood behind me prepared to strike…
O dear! I'm sorry, got carried away there. I've always wanted to write a mystery. Besides didn't that just spice up the story a bit.
Who am I kidding? It truly all began on a typical dirt boring school day…
I screamed as I looked at the time. As usual, I was late. Wait; in fact, I was even later than I was usually, which is not saying too much. (I have been prone to waking up in the middle of the school day and then rushing there.) "Oh my God! It's almost seven. Mom! Why didn't you wake me up?" I yelled as I grabbed my uniform and bag and quickly ran downstairs. Sammy and dad were both rushing around too. "Serena, did you see your mother?" I shook my head. Where was she?
Gasp! My mom didn't wake us up. Why? Did she (gasp) forget? Or maybe she purposely didn't wake us up? What did we ever do to get this sort of abuse? "Sammy! Dad! We need to find mom! Search the house completely! We must search every floor, room, cabinet, and crack in the wall until we find mom. Signal SOS with your flashlights (I handed them out right then) when you find any clues as to the whereabouts of mom!" (Geez, I must really stop hanging around Amy.)
We split up quickly and in less than half a second later I see a flashlight going off. Sammy's flashlight. "Dad! Serena!" Sammy yelled. "Mom's hiding under the table. Mom get up!"
"Don't you know it's bad luck to even be walking around on the Ides of March? The planets are aligned! I tried to warn as many people as I could, but my own family doesn't even listen to me. Wahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! See look at all the math I did." My mother began to explain herself. A huge pack of papers with lots of math done in small handwriting fell to the ground. Huge sweat drops fell from our heads. "Look, since fifteen plus eighteen divided by sixteen and multiplied by fifty six plus a zero place holder equals seven thousand twenty four and the square root of ninety five million eighteen hundred times one thousand plus I or root –1 creates a parabola when applied graphically to an equation…"
We are completely dazed for at least twenty minutes after mom finishes. Sammy gains his senses the first. "Mom's lost it. Come on let's go. I'm gonna be so late."
"Me too." I agreed with him for once. "I'm probably getting detention for the this year and the next at this rate."
Suddenly, my mom runs toward the door and blocks the way. "I can't let you guys out of this house. Serena! Listen to yourself. You're already late and you hate school, so why bother going? You're going to get detention today! And listen, bad stuff always happens on the Ides of March. When you were one, you tripped and fell and cried! The next year you burned yourself. And then on the next year a dog chased you…"
After what seemed to me as an hour, "And in conclusion, this year something more horrible than that kid Melvin trying to kiss you will happen." Sammy was really ticked off by now. "Mom! Shut up with this crap about the Ides of March." We all sweat dropped. Wait a second, she did make some sort of sense, but no I actually couldn't miss school today. There was a math test, which I really didn't want to take, but I had to take and pass it if I wanted to graduate. I suddenly got a great idea. "Oh my God!!!! Mom look behind you!" My mom turned around. In a flash we all ran outside. " Come back!" She yelled and tried to come after us, but once she looked outside, she timidly hid behind the door and continued yelling at us from behind the door.
"I am soooooooooooo late!" I yelled as I sped up. Wow, you know what maybe I should join the track team. I do seem to get a lot of practice running.
I ran toward the bus stop looking at my wrist. Oh! Right! Forgot I didn't have a watch. A person slapped me on the back. "Ouch!" I yelled. I looked behind me. Lita and Mina were there. "Serena! You're late too! At three in the morning, this crazy lady called about the Ides of March. Then I couldn't get up when the alarm went off. We are so dead." Said Lita. "Oh my God! The same thing happened to me." Said Mina. I felt tears of annoyance (the anime tears) streaming down my face. "Serena?" I put my hand up and laughed. I really need to think about sending my mother to a psychiatrist. Really did she have to call my friends too?
"Amy's probably at school already, unlike us idiots. I should have hung up on that lady, but she just wouldn't stop talking and I know how horrible it feels to have people hang up on you...not that I've had any personal experience with that." Mina laughed. Sure, no one's ever hung up on her… The bus came and lots of students started running. "Wow! A lot of people are sure late." Lita exclaimed. The bus waited a little while after everyone was on the bus. Suddenly, we all saw Amy running toward the bus gasping. "Amy: late! This is a new one. Here sit down." Mina got up and offered Amy a seat. Amy muttered a thanks and was still gasping for air. "This woman called at midnight… She kept on talking… Alarm stopped working… You know she sounded a lot like your mom, Serena."
I laughed and blushed. "You know my mom has one of those voices that a lot of people have." Heh heh…not! I was really considering sending her to an asylum at this point. I may not be bright, I may not be smart, well actually I'm pretty sure I'm not, but I knew that all these people being late couldn't be just a coincidence. Dun Duh Duh…It had to do something with my mother!
Class that day was the weirdest ever. I walked into math with Lita. At the front of the classroom was a blond haired man. He looked familiar. Jadeite? Wait he's dead. He turned around. "Serena! Or should I say Sailor Moon. Don't worry. I'm a good person now! I donated money to charity today so I wouldn't have to pay as much tax. Wait! You shouldn't have heard that. I'm doing this job as a springboard to those jobs that pay really well. Well, somehow, today was my lucky day. You know all the teachers at your high school quit so I got a job here. Anyhow, these notes from your old teacher don't really say what you people were learning, so what do you people learn now a days in math?"
"Addition." I lied.
"Really? Wow! I thought Earthlings were dumb in the past but now, my gosh… You Earthlings must be getting dumber and dumber." I grinned. To this day, I still can't believe he believed me. For once I might pass math.
Everyone soon arrived in class. "Hi class! I, Mr. Jed now will be teaching your class. Your old math teacher, Ms. Math, quit today after being fed up being in this town with crazy people after some lady called her up at around midnight."
I felt red all over. My mom is so strange… Now wait a second, how is it that she called so many people and talked for so long with them at the same time. I mean we don't have multiple phone lines do we? Oh wait a second, she couldn't have bought more phone lines for our house could she? Oh dear, I will definitely not be home when my dad gets the phone bill.
The teachers we had were strangely all our old enemies that I thought were dead. I wasn't too thrilled to see them. Something fishy is going on… Wait a sec…. This is actually helping me…. I might pass a course!!!!!!!!
The day actually ended as fast as it began. Mina somehow "misinformed" the teachers of when the day ended and that it was illegal to give homework. I rushed home, but then remembered my mom… and her Ides of March. Maybe Raye's was better…No… she would yell at me. I always went to her house. I mean I practically lived there and that was something Raye wasn't all too thrilled about. How about Amy? She was usually nice. Well usually was the key word today… she was absolutely furious with all of us for not telling the teachers the truth about giving homework and when the school day ended. Poor deprived girl, she wanted her education. Hey that's probably why she marked this day off in her diary. Mina and Lita had wandered off to the mall and as usual, I was broke, actually in debt and going to the mall again would tempt me into being more in debt. And, Darien, my sweetest, was unfortunately at college, which was miles away from my school and would involve too much effort to reach. I sat down on the street and sighed. "I guess I'll have to wait until Sammy gets home to face mom. A great day wasted."
Suddenly, a voice yelled my name. It was Jadeite! And all his teacher pals. Beside him was Ann and Alan who were kissing and making out while walking, Zoicite and Malacite also kissing and making out while walking, and Sapphire and Emerald surprise surprise kissing and making out while walking. Now how do they do that? I can barely walk none the less multitask. Jadeite had huge sweat drops over his head. "See what I have to deal with all day! All these people kissing, making out, and being all so mushy!" He then grabbed me and shook me. Sweat beads filled my head and he yelled with fire coming out of his mouth. I pulled away toasted and fell to the ground. "Well I feel so much better now. Thanks Serena. I'll give u an extra A"
Serena hears a loud crash followed by several shrieks and decides to look outside of the room. Clutching her manuscript, she peeks down the stairs. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw that her house was still in tact; messy, cluttered, but still in one piece. The last time the girls had a row, the results were not pleasant. Let's just say that Serena's house had to go through some major remodeling.
Serena smirked as she saw that the girls were all piled up on the floor with Amy on the bottom. Amy tried to crawl away, but each time, she was punneled to the ground by the other girls. "Show us the diary!!!!" "Get off my foot Mina!!" "Stop kicking me Amy!!!" "It's my diary!!! Get off!!!!" "LITA!!!!!!!!" "Raye u idiot!"
Poor Amy… Serena contemplated going to help her friend, but suddenly saw how violent the other girls were. On second though, Serena decided to return to her room and continue with this story. Amy's smart, she'll figure a way out of this mess.
Ok. Back to the story. Where was I? Oh! Yes! Jadeite, villains, school, and what not.
Jadeite did finally figure out that we were not learning addition in math class after a few weeks. Of course, I had a little chat with him when he realized this horrible truth:
"Serena! How could you simply 'misinform' me on what you guys were learning in math! I trusted you! Now, you'll probably get me fired from this and I'll never see the beautiful, gorgeous, siren of a principal Ms. Haruna again! And she'll hate me after this!" Jadeite was red with fury for a few seconds but suddenly turned towards the window and wistfully sighed. "She's so beautiful. She practically floats. I'll never get the courage to talk to her. No! My life will be over when she fires me."
I glanced out the window. Wow, no wonder he was so obsessed with her. She did practically float. Her outside surroundings started moving in slow motion as she passed by slowly. Her hair glistened as she flipped it back and her teeth shined as she flashed a quick smile to an acquaintance in the schoolyard. Must be a new hair shampoo. Maybe, I should get it. I wonder what Darien would do?
How sweet! He was in love.
Now using my wits (yes I may not be intelligent but I do have a brain), I decided to do a bit of persuading.
"Jed, I could help you with the Haruna issue. She was my teacher last year and I was one of her (cough cough) favorite students." I smiled a bit.
"Oh my gosh! Did I just say all that out loud? The part about Haruna? I didn't mean to…Wait your getting me off topic. I'm here to punish you school-wise for telling me to teach the wrong subject."
"Oh, but Jed. Come on now. We students are all very happy with your math class. And do you really want to be teaching us trig right now? Addition, after all is a lot easier to teach than say sines and cosines. And besides, you've have to work really hard, stay after school and help us with math once you start trig. So what do u say? Forget about the real math we're supposed to be learning and give us the trig!" I smiled sweetly. He's getting convinced.
Jadeite contemplated my proposal for a bit. "Haruna is going to observe my class soon. What would I do then, sailor moon?"
"Um…pretend to teach us trig for a day?" I suggested.
To my surprise he nodded. "Now, if only I can get the courage to talk to that Haruna."
And that is when I got myself into this mess. Well actually, I got myself into two messes. No, I didn't really get myself into the second mess. It just sort of happened…
In my idiocy, I promised Jadeite to spy on Haruna, to make sure that she is single, and to get them together. So that is how I ended up spending my Saturday or should I say wasting it in the park. I climbed onto the tallest tree in the park so that I could see everyone and everything in it. I had overheard Haruna talking about going to the park to meet someone on Saturday from sneaking around near the teachers lounge.
"She's finally here." I almost yelped in joy because all these mites and bugs from the tree were making my legs and hands very itchy. I would have left, except I had already promised Jadeite that I would spy on her for him. Now wait a second, if he was the one in love, why am I doing all the spying for him?
Oh no! I gasped in horror as I saw a man walk toward Haruna. Poor Jadeite. I sighed as I expected him to be the person she was supposed to see, but was instead pleasantly surprised to see that he just passed by her and continued to walk towards another woman in the park.
Haruna continued walking and I leaned forward in the tree to see where she was going. Oh no! I had leaned too far! My hands slipped from the large tree branch that I was hanging onto and I fell forward. Thankfully, one of my feet were still stuck to the tree and I tried to get up again. As I struggled I heard strange bits of conversation.
A deep voice whispered, "I think she's the one."
Another voice, a girl's voice muttered in reply, "Whom do you mean?"
The man remained silent (he was probably motioning towards the particular person he was talking about), but the girl persisted in asking until he finally blurted out in frustration "I mean the freaking girl in that tree who's about to fall off. And if I must talk any louder, we might as well let the whole park know about it."
The girl in the tree! Why that's me! Who were they? What did they know? Who sent them? Was it the Negaverse? Were they even sent by anyone? Or am I just being too paranoid?
I glanced over to see who these two mysterious strangers were. They did not look too menacing; they weren't monsters and seemed to be about my age. The girl looked normal enough. She had long dark blond hair and seemed very poised and uptight. She was talking eagerly about something. I couldn't hear her very well. The guy, on the other hand, was a different story. He had gravity defying hair that was all slicked in from of his face, covering one of his eyes. He must have used pounds and pounds of hair gel to get his hair that way. Suddenly, the boy looked over at me and realized that I was watching them. "She's watching us…" he muttered and motioned her to be quiet. They then walked away. I tried to get down from the tree as quickly as possible to follow them, but they seemed to have vanished by the time I climbed down. Oh no! I had lost Haruna too. I bowed my head in defeat. My battles with the itchy bugs had all been for nothing.
Author's notes:
I hope you enjoyed my fan fic. It's my first and I would appreciate it if you reviewed it. I tried to make it as funny as possible, don't know if that worked out though. And this chapter is bit long and the events are a bit spread out because I wanted to fit some GW people into this first chapter and to get straight to the action (sort of). More of them will appear in the next chapters.
Preview of next chapter:
Amy's turn to narrate: she meets some strange people… in the bathroom! (No it will not be perverted in any way, shape, or form. It will be perfectly acceptable for a PG rating.)