Artemis: Give me the book, fairy! Fairy: Never! Butler: Burn the witch! Artemis: Shut up. Butler: Sorry. Artemis: Here. Take this. Fairy: Sweet. Beer. Artemis: No, it's whiskey. Fairy: Same difference. Nguyen: Don't hurt me big man! Butler: Here's your money. Go home. Nguyen: Whee! (Skips out door) Butler: (shakes head) Chinese. Fairy: Aiiiiiieeeee!!!! Artemis: Wow. I think we'll just leave now. I'm starting to get scared. Thanks for the book.

Fowl Manor

Juliet: Duh. Artemis: Mother? Angeline: Arty!!!!!!! Get up here and shut these drapes! Artemis: That better? Angeline: Hey wait a sec, you're not Arty! Get out of here! Artemis: Right.

Artemis: Stupid book. Stupid computer. Stupid language. (78 hours later) Artemis: Eureka!

Underground Holly: Grr. I hate Root. Mulch: (grabs inside a sightseer's pocket) Nice credit card! Holly: WABAM! Mulch: I can't help it! Holly: Neither can I.

Root: Holly! You're late! Holly: Blah, blah, blah. Root: Are you listening to me? Holly: Oh sure. You were just confessing that the only reason you always pick on me is because I'm a girl. Root: Kind of, just not confessing. Stating. And by the way. Frond's in your place now. Holly: (mumbled) Oh great. Now we got two bimbos in charge. Just give me a chance. Root: Fine. Go kill a troll. Holly: Very funny. Root: I'm not joking. Holly: Oh mud man.

Holly: What a ride. Whoa! That is one ugly troll! Foaly: Congrats! You just found Root's long lost twin! Holly: (laugh) Uh oh. He's coming toward me. Foaly: Root the Second? Holly: No time for jokes now horse breath. Okay. I'm invisible. CRASH! Holly: Or not. People: Huh? Holly: I come in peace. Troll: Snore. Little Kid: Hello. Holly: Bye for now. Root: Argg! Nuts to you!