So yeah, this is my first fanfic, so please give it a chance. Also, sorry for any grammar mistakes and so on. I'm not a Native speaker, but I really tried my hardest to make this as good as I would think of it being okay. So, this story is basically about Jade trying to move on after the break-up, but somehow being incapable of getting Beck out of her head. Sorry, suck at summary.

Prologue

There are different kinds of hate.

Firstly, of course, the one filling you just from the first second on since you've seen this special person and he's mightfully wasting your time..

Secondly, sometimes there are some people you may not have known personally, but then you suddenly get to know them – and hate them.

Thirdly, one weird kind of hatred, knowing someone is different on a special way and you just can't stand this special way unlike everyone else (Yeah, I guess that could also be called jealousy, one dirty little word).

And lastly, the worst kind of hatred, when you try to hate someone forcefully, when it is someone you used to love, someone that told you he'd love you forever, someone you've always been unable of to get him out of your head.

When this someone falls in love with someone else, acts like a real jerk to you or just isn't there to be with you anymore, then you may know it's a good way to hate him, even though you just wish to ever feel his breath against your neck, his strong arms wrapping around your waist, his soft lips kissing yours gently again.

Yeah, then it's a good idea to hate him and to pretend like you don't care.

When it's someone you truly love-d.

Because maybe this is the easiest way to let go – just to hate this someone you're secretly still kinda in love with to prevent suffocating on your own sadness.

…..And you hate sympathy.

I'd honestly wondered how long I'd still be sitting there and watch my worst nightmare come true.

Kind of a stupid thought, since I was aware anyway that I couldn't even move one muscle just a tiny bit. Arms folded over my chest, eyes deeply locked with the computer-screen which just showed it.

I felt like my whole world was just about to crash like a ton of old damaged plastic as I was still starring at that what was happening there right in front of me.

Damn it, I still couldn't believe it. I mean, of course I had seen it coming.

She was everything I was not.

Nice, friendly, totally skinny, and just – perfect.

And I had the only thing she didn't.

Him.

But since she was able getting everything she wanted, I guess she knew this would also just be a matter of time, and indeed it was.

Okay, it wasn't quite the right thing, she hadn't planned on tearing us apart, it was more me – at least that was what I was trying to tell myself just to avoid believing we could've still had a chance.

If we both weren't so stubborn.

So, instead of thinking about how we could get back together, I had just let events pass by – and finally it had happened.

He had fallen in love again, at least this was what was proven there on the fucking computer-screen I was still starring at like frozen.

My eyes widened as I saw them leaning in more intensively (I'd got it, you were totally on about each other, no need to make me join your first bed-time-story).

Brown eyes found brown eyes – so perfect, matching.

Not any cold blue eyes which were trying to read his mind just to finally fail anyway and letting him kiss you passionatley.

I forbid myself to think of that.

I tried to close my eyes, but it didn't work, they just kept on starring at my lovely ex-boyfriend and his new crush continuesly.

I wanted to turn around, I didn't want to see how he was moving on to the next one, how he was getting over me, since I absolutley wasn't over him.

My mind kept saying the same thing.

"You know what? We're done."

"So you're breaking up with me?"

His voice, still so amazingly calm, his eyes, still starring at me with that stunning effect it had on me. His gaze, so adorable, but neverthless I'd let him go.

"Yeah, I am."

Too proud to deny your true will, too scared of losing him to prevent to take a last look at him, your heart, too broken to admit what you were feeling: senseless jealousy.

Then it was senseless.

"You're being ridiculous."

"Why do you care? I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

Oh, how those words had hurt to say them, but it was true and I didn't wanna be weak, even though I was.

Maybe my only weakness which I just had let go.

That was gone, we had made up, we had kissed – and we had broken up.

I don't know if the reason why I just couldn't bring myself to turn my head away was just to see his reaction, if she was a lot like me or if she was just a lot better, I was expecting him to blush in amazement.

But of course he did not, he never did, how could've I thought so?

I was ready to turn away my head, to break down crying, to hit the computer, when I saw her shaking her head.

"No.", she said.

No? Why no? That's stupid, every girl would do everything now to be in her situation and she just says no? That's not the way it is supposed to be.

I looked up in disbelief and watched both of them pulling away a bit.

I couldn't help but feel a slight bit of satisfaction going through my body.

Ha, no, that was a word, I had always loved it.

"Why can't I kiss you?", he suddenly asked.

Was he being serious?

Why? Because I hated him to be.., because she wanted to get him more slowly, she surely wanted him, no question, everyone wanted him unlike me.

He'd been the only one ever wanting me and I knew I'd keep that in mind – forever?

So why couldn't he kiss her?

Well, simple question, because it wasn't right, because I didn't want him to (fucking jealousy, I should so work on this).

She sighed.

"Because of Jade."

I starred at the screen feeling guilty for the first time in my life.

Then I finally closed my eyes.

So, this was the prologue. Hope you liked it so far and of course reviews make me happy. Oh, and did you hear about Victorious not returning for a season four? I sewar, I actually died inside. I still wanna kill someone now. Well ,thanks for making me watch spongebob and so on for the rest of my life. Never mind! Let's just hope we'll get another 15 good episodes to be happy with and at least our Bade will be reunited. So, anyways: Please give me reviews!

Thanks