The Littlest Things

Kagome was not happy. She was as far from happy as a person could possibly be, in her opinion anyway. She was the freaking embodiment of not-happy-ness. And not-happy-ness isa word, because Kagome decided it would be, dammit. And if anyone argued with her…well then she might just try to purify the crap out of them—demon or not.

Now back to the not-happy-ness that Kagome was experiencing.

In order to understand her not-happy-ness, one needs to understand the definition of the word in its entirety. And if not-happy-ness were to be embodied, it would be Kagome at this exact point in time. But because that does not help with the comprehension of the definition we'll use words.

Main Entry: Not-happy-ness

Part of Speech: adjective, adverb, noun

Etymology: Higurashi, Kagome; (not- un) + (happy- pleased, content) + (ness- descriptive suffix)

Definition:the absolute opposite of happy, not just unhappy, all things opposed to "happy"; misery, frustration, sadness, anger, disappointment, inadequacy, self-doubt…etc. etc…

That is what Kagome felt like—absolute and extreme not-happy-ness.

The shard-hunters had just finished defeating a snake-demon that had attacked a local village. Unfortunately they had not managed to arrive soon enough and half of the village along with its inhabitants were obliterated.

Kagome was horrified.

Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Inuyasha each felt their own degree of loss and regret and disappointment that they were not able to save everyone.

Their sorrows were only worsened however, when the village people treated the deaths of their comrades like a relief. "Good riddance to them, they were a shiftless lot," voiced a surviving woman. "They all deserved to die."

The callousness of the world…

"How dare you say such a thing?!" Kagome exclaimed, only held back from shaking the hag by Miroku's firm grip on her shoulders. "They were your neighbors! They were part of your lives!!"

"They were worthless beggars! Those people could not hold their own jobs, those little whelps running around begging for scraps! We had our own mouths to feed! Their death benefits us all. We can have their rations now—they never deserved them anyway."

The greed of the world…

"Who are you to condemn them to death?" Kagome screamed, tears streaming down her face. "Who are you—"

"Who are you, Miko-sama?" the village-woman delivered in an even voice, not lacking one bit in its bite. "Who are you to tell us good people how to live our lives? You who consort with demons and half-demons. You who has taken one as your son and the other your lover. You who seek the Shikon Jewel to bestow upon a half-demon. You are as impure as the one who destroyed our village and those worthless wretches," she spat toward the wreckage that was once houses and homes.

Kagome was too distraught to make any corrections among the various lies the woman spoke.

The prejudice of the world…

Not long after the village-woman's speech another snake-demon came bursting into the tattered part of town seeking vengeance for its fallen comrade. Kagome was easily knocked away, Shippo along with her in his attempt to protect her.

Miroku, Sango and Kirara, and Inuyasha fought valiantly to fend off the youkai. They sustained severe injuries before killing it completely—but again, not before it took more lives. Her friends battled and bruised, while Kagome watched from the sidelines.

The uselessness of herself…

Turning to the village-leader, the bitter old woman from before pointed an accusatory finger at Kagome and her wounded companions. "Those demons and demon-lovers!! Their impurities call demons to destroy our village! Be gone from us before you cause any more tragedies!!" she screamed, "Be gone!!"

Weak and weary and oh so sorry for the hearts they could not save and the souls they could not mend, the group set off for another village.

The unfairness of the world…

At the day's end the group had reached Kaede's village. Sango and Miroku had settled in for the night, weary from their battles. Kirara and Shippo slept along with them. Inuyasha had healed for the most part, being hanyou, and Kagome had not sustained any injuries besides a minor bump.

They sat together in the moonlight, mourning for the lost lives of the village people.

And then a soul stealer was visible above the treetops, glowing in the moonlight—beckoning. And Kagome was left alone.

The heartbreak of the world…

Alone in the forest Kagome could not help but think of what started everything. Naraku. He had been the cause of everything, long before Kagome arrived here. He pit lover against lover, friend against friend, brother against sister.

He was everything that was wrong with the world. Everything that was impure and evil. Deceitful and greedy, gluttonous and merciless. He doled out pain and felt no remorse. His life made the world a worse place.

The despair of the world…

And with thoughts of Naraku's evil deeds,

And Inuyasha's betrayal,

And that woman's greed,

And her own uselessness,

And that village's heartlessness,

Kagome became enraged. She became upset and indignant and all that pain and sorrow she had bottled up turned into all that not-happy-ness that she had been left to bear.

She wanted to scream, wanted to cry out, she wanted to tear something down the way the world had torn her down.

There was so much sorrow in the world, so much unfairness. And slowly, the realization of such unfairness and the manifestation of such sorrow seeped into her very being. Sorrow and depression seeped into her soul, her body, her mind, her heart.

And she wept.

She wept for the dead villagers, and their dead children.

She wept for the live villagers and their inability to see beyond their prejudices.

She wept for Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha and their physical wounds.

She wept for Sango and her brother sustained only by a Jewel that in order to be restored must be taken from him.

She wept for Miroku whom, until they destroyed Naraku, could never start a family.

She wept for Kikyo who had her life cut short and died in hatred.

She wept for Inuyasha who lived in sorrow and regret for what he did in his past and could not truly have in his present.

She wept for herself—for her unrequited love and her uselessness to her friends.

And then, she wept for the world.

She wept for any creature that had felt sadness or loss, no matter how great or small.

She wept for those who had not yet felt loss, for they would, and it would break them and steal from their innocence as it had done to her.

For all beings, all creatures, all things in possession of a soul—she wept.

And the heavens wept with her. Rain fell upon her as she sat in the forest. The rain washed away her tears. It tried to wash away her sorrows, but all it did was push them further down in her soul until it was as if they were at her metaphysical feet, cementing her to the place she stood.

When she could weep no more, the sky cried the tears she could not.

Kagome was lost in a sea of anger, despair, and sorrow—even as the rain receded to a mere falling mist.

And then she heard a noise.

A noise that should not have existed in this world so bleak.

It was laughter. Chiming laughter that sang with joy and innocence and everything that Kagome had believed she lost.

Slowly moving the despairing miko forced her feet to go toward the sound. Once within sight she saw a child—young and beautiful dancing among the rain-touched flowers. The moonlight bounced off each speck of water creating a show of light that was breathtaking to behold.

And something in Kagome longed to reach out to her. Something deep insider her soul called out. A remembrance. Kagome had once been as that child was—pure and carefree and so trusting.

The young girl stopped her dance and bent down to pick a small bouquet of flowers. She arranged them according to her liking then slowly moved off to the edge of the field.

Kagome wanted to call out. Afraid the child would leave and take the small spark of hope ignited in Kagome's chest with it. Do not leave, she silently called out. Begging, pleading.

She need not have worried so, she realized. The child simply ventured toward an elderly couple who had sought shelter from the elements under the boughs of a tree.

They were so pleased by their present, they thanked the young child profusely. The elderly man placed the flowers into the hands of his wife and raised them to her face, whispering into her ears. Her happy face turned toward the child, and in turn toward Kagome's line of sight, and Kagome could have wept for joy.

Here was a man, old in age and still clearly in love, explaining to his heart that they had been bestowed a present from a kind-hearted child. The woman's eyes could not have expressed her happiness no matter how hard she tried—she was blind. But the bond visible in the actions of herself and her husband were enough to declare to the world that there was still goodness.

And as part of that world, Kagome heard the call. She heard, and saw, and felt that there was still something to hope for, something to smile for, something inexplicable.

The little girl spoke her piece and took her leave, smiling brightly at the couple before bowing and turning to leave them.

What gave that child such happiness and hope?

Surely one such as her should have experienced loss, or disappointment?

She was not old by any stretch of the word. But she was far too old to have retained her pure heart for so long. How had she preserved her innocence so flawlessly? Surely there was no way. Not in this era, not in her own.

Kagome wondered at the child as she made her way away from the couple. Stopping suddenly in her steps the child froze. Kagome, too, froze. Both listened intently—the girl for some beckon or call and Kagome for the same.

Casting her gaze up to the sky the child's impossibly bright and pure and cheerful smile became far brighter, the intensity of it almost blinding Kagome and warming her soul at the same time.

Moving to follow her gaze she was baffled to see a demon descending from the heavens. He could easily have been mistaken for an ethereal being but Kagome knew better. She had encountered this particular demon several times before and he was unmistakable.

Sesshoumaru.

Surely this creature is not the one to put so happy a look upon this girl's face. It was not possible. Yet the closer he came to the ground the larger the girl's smile became. And when he finally touched the field the child ran to him, grasping him around the waist and declaiming his name as a child would a father's.

Yes. Sesshoumaru had done this. He had saved this girl from the harshness of the world, had saved her innocence, and no doubt took her sorrows upon himself so as to shield her. And Kagome could no longer find any wrong in him.

Despite their past encounters, Kagome would from now and forever see him as a warrior for good and purity. Because in guarding this child he did just that. He protected the embodiment of all things good.

And nothing he had done in the past or could do in the future would be able to diminish that.

So with her heart light, and her soul renewed, she stepped out of the darkness of the forest and into the moonlit field.

His ever watchful eye immediately landed upon her, and she could not help but smile at the protectiveness she saw in those amber eyes.

Sensing the shift in her guardian, the young girl who had previously had her head buried in the demon's stomach turned to face the approaching girl, her arm still securely wrapped around her lord's leg.

Walking closer to the pair, Kagome could not help but smile her biggest smile. Thinking the white-clad Sesshoumaru with his ward at his side were the most beautiful creatures on the earth.

Unbeknownst to her the pair in the field had similar thoughts about her.

All Sesshoumaru had seen was a beautiful woman step out into the moonlight and his breath caught. Raven hair cascaded over her lithe form. Deep sapphire eyes met his own wary ones--and she smiled. And her smile was breathtaking. He only vaguely made the appropriate connections with this woman and his brother, but at the moment that did not matter.

Sensing his body tense the child in his arms turned to see what has alarmed her protector. She, too, watched stunned as a beautiful lady with long ebony hair and blue eyes approached them.

When the lady saw them her face broke out in a heartbreakingly beautiful smile. A smile the young child could only liken to a lost angel. "Who is the pretty lady?" she spoke softly to her guardian, as though afraid that if she spoke to loud the angel would flee.

"I know not, Rin."

Finally before them, Kagome bent down and slowly held her hand out for the young girl to take. The child did so willingly, and Kagome pulled her in for a brief but heartfelt hug. Neither had felt so safe, and warm, and whole in their lives.

Releasing the child Kagome backed up once again so as not to invade the personal space of the demon lord. Turning to face him, an indecipherably beautiful smile upon her face, she bowed, low and gracefully.

Finally straightening, she only spoke two words to him. But everything was convened in those two words. Protect her, for now and for always. Keep her life safe with your own. Guard her innocence as though it were the life of the world for it very well may be. Keep her safe and happy and let no suffering befall her for she is too good for it. Such entreaties and more were embodied into the two words she spoke to him.

"Thank you."

Turning to walk away, Kagome smiled again—this time for herself. Because she had realized that there was good in the world. She simply had to be open to see it.

Before stepping back into the shadows of the forest and the life she led, she turned back and nodded to the two most beautiful creatures in the world. One nodded back, the other waved furiously. Kagome giggled at this and once more, she wondered at how such sorrow and anger and despair could be dispelled by the littlest things.

omg hah! I'm done!! Ok yay, this story…is very significant to me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it…sans the cramp in my right hand.

PLEASE REVIEW!! (I write mostly for myself...but a little feedback wouldn't kill either of us)