The letter dropped from her hand, floating to the floor like a feather caught in the wind, she felt as though the breath had been taken from her lungs, that the light had been taken from her world and she was left in a land surrounded by darkness with no air.

Her bottom lip trembled as her legs wobbled, threatening to give way below her, her heart had been ripped from her chest and crushed to dust and she felt hollow, as though she had been emptied of any emotion whatsoever. That one note had destroyed her whole life, her whole future had crumbled around her and there was nothing she could ever do that would fix it, no matter how hard she could try, there was no way she was ever coming back from this.

She stared straight ahead, not moving, not even blinking, simply staring at the wall and willing it to fall on top of her, crush her, make her feel something, or remove her from her consciousness, anything was better than her current state. She was numb, the life had been drained from her body, how was it that three little words could have such a big impact on someone's very being. Three small words could hold such power.

Her legs weren't going to support her much longer, she could feel herself swaying and then suddenly they just collapsed under her and she let out a pained scream before burying her face into the grass of the lawn and sobbing. It wasn't happening, it couldn't be, there had been promises made, surely that counted for something, a promise. You couldn't go back on a promise.

Then the tears began to fall, streaming out of her eyes against her will, soaking up into the earth below her, she couldn't hold them back, couldn't stop herself from crying so much, because her life was over, that was it, she had lost everything, lost her reason for living, lost her hope.

She still couldn't breathe, her lungs struggling to take in the air she needed, not that she wanted to be able to breathe, she wanted to just stop to let it all be over so she couldn't feel this massive ache in her chest where her heart had once been before it had been torn so cruelly from her, she could never express in words how much it hurt, she was surprised how quickly the initial numbness had given way to this torturous pain, something that hurt more than anything in her life ever had.

She smacked her fist against the ground and continued to just cry and cry, she didn't know what else she could possibly do, this was the end for her, it was all over.

How could she live with herself? How could she live with the pain? The pain of knowing that she would never be able to feel anything joyous in this life. The pain of never being able to hear that beautiful sound of laughter, see the way his face lit up just from seeing her, never have him as the voice of reason in her head as the one who was always there to keep her sane.

How could she live with the pain of knowing that she would never hear his voice again, his beautiful British accent, never be able to see his bright blue eyes, his dimples, never smell that wonderful forestry smell that she pretended to hate but secretly loved? How was she supposed to go on without him? He was everything to her, he kept her going when everyone else had given up on her, he was the one person who truly knew her.

What was she supposed to do? There was no happiness left in this life for her, not now, he was the only happiness she had ever known, her reason for living and now, what was the point? Oh how those three words could change someone's whole life, send them in a downward spiral to somewhere they never, ever, wanted to have to go in their life.

She rocked herself on the floor, her face now buried into her legs as her tears seeped through the thick material of her dress, the quiet cries soon increased in volume until she was just wailing, not bothering to even try and stop herself. She was in so much pain and the only thing ringing though her mind was that it couldn't be true, it just couldn't be, she couldn't accept that.

With a sniffle she looked at the piece of paper beside her head and picked it up, shaking her head violently, how could they send this to someone? How could they just say it like that, no personalisation, no nothing, as though it meant nothing, as though his life meant nothing. He was a person, a wonderful, beautiful, amazing person and he deserved more than what was in that telegram, she liked to think that she deserved more also.

They didn't care, why would they, he was just another pawn in their stupid game, one of the hundreds of thousands that had already been reported already. She screamed and tore it apart, ripping the paper and throwing it, they didn't care about the pain, the destruction, all they cared about was money and land, their greed overpowering their humanity.

All they could say was that they 'regretted' to inform her, that wasn't going to bring him back, no number of pathetic attempts at apologies, attempts to justify the situation would make her feel better, make what had happened better. She looked to the pieces and saw that those three words were still intact, 'killed in action'.

Three weeks later…

"You're wasting away," her mother admonished, pulling the curtains back, allowing light to stream into the room, something that caused Regina to groan and close her eyes as she curled closer to the pillow, hugging it to her. She had locked herself away and refused visitors, refused to eat, she couldn't, she physically couldn't eat without throwing it all up once she remembered again.

"Good," she husked, not turning to look at the older woman, instead she pulled his pillow towards her and hugging it tight as she stared at the ceiling.

"Regina get up."

"Don't touch me," she snapped.

"You look gaunt, you need to go outside and get some fresh air," Cora walked across the room and opened the wardrobe, causing Regina's eyes to snap away from the ceiling and towards her mother.

"What are you doing?"

"I think it's time…"

"Put them down!" she shouted, moving to stop her mother from touching his things, but falling to the floor because of her lack of energy and sheer exhaustion, "don't touch those," she cried, "just get out of my house."

"You are starving yourself to death!"

"That is the point," she breathed.

"You foolish child, pull yourself together."

How could her mother possibly be so insensitive? How could she not sympathise with her about what she was going through, did she not care? Apparently not, she wanted to get rid of his things, throw them away as if they meant nothing as if they were never here, as if he was nothing and he had never been here, but he had been and his possessions told her that and her mother wasn't taking them from her, she had no right to touch them. This wasn't even her mother's house so she had every right to be angry at her coming in and trying to take away his things, the only things she had left of him.

"Put that down!" Regina yelled managing to stand up and grab the green jacket out of her mother's hands, "this doesn't belong to you! It's his!"

"Well he isn't going to be wearing it anymore is he?"

Regina held it to her, "it doesn't mean you can take it from me!"

"He's never coming back Regina!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" She cried loudly burying her face in his jacket before looking up at her mother, "don't you think I miss him every second of every day! That I can even breathe without it hurting?! Because I can't! I lost my soulmate! The one person who meant everything to me! I loved him with everything I am and now he's gone and I am never going to see him again! So, don't you dare tell me I don't know he's gone! Because I do know! I'm reminded of it constantly and I don't want to live anymore! I can't live without him!"

She slipped his jacket on, it was massive on her, bigger than it had ever been on her as she wore it often, usually when they had been to a dance and left late at night meaning she was cold and he was quite eager to keep her warm, saying that he wasn't risking her coming down with hypothermia or something she would laugh at him and shake her head, insisting that she would be okay, but still the gentleman that he was, he wouldn't stand for it and she would have his jacket on and his arm wrapped around her as they found their way home in the dark. What she wouldn't give to have that again, to have him surrender his jacket to keep her warm, to hold her close and promise to never let her go. A promise he broke.

"Regina, I am taking you out of this place," Cora tutted, grasping her daughters arm and letting out a shocked gasp, "you are emaciated."

"I don't care."

"Well I am your mother and I care very much."

"Leave me alone! Please leave me alone," she buried her face in the material of his jacket, the jacket she could probably fit inside of three times over now in comparison to before when it had been closer to two.

"You are coming home with me Regina, whether you like it or not."

"No I'm…" her mother suddenly pulled her, "let go of me! Mother! No! I don't want to, I don't want to go!"

"Berkeley!"

"No! No! I want to stay here! You can't force me to go with you!" she screamed, trying to hold onto anything as her mother's butler lifted her with apparent ease off the ground and began carrying her, per her mother's instruction. "I don't want to! I want Robin!"

"Robin is dead Regina!" the older woman shouted, picking up a picture from the bedside table and taking it with her as they headed towards the town car that was waiting outside. "You are going to have to come to terms with that."

How was she supposed to come to terms with it? She never would, she would have to live out the rest of her life alone with the knowledge that the other half of her, the holder of her heart was never coming back, was gone from this world for the rest of eternity. And she was going to have to live with that, her soulmate was dead and there was no happiness left in this life for her, not anymore, not ever again.

TBC