None of these characters belong to me. They belong to Eric Kripe.
Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Gabriel, Rowena, Lucifer (mentioned).
Relationships: Sam/Gabriel, Sam and Dean, Sam and Castiel, Gabriel and Castiel, Dean and Castiel.
Warnings: Mentions of past torture and rape. Self Worth Issues. Emotional Truama. Hurt/Comfort. Fluff.
Summary: Sam goes into hysteria in 13x21 when he finds out Lucifer is the only option they have. Gabriel comes to comfort him.
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(Sam's POV)
"Okay." Dean mutters.
"Well, that was...fast." Castiel's head is still tiltsd to the side slightly.
"Very, very fast." The youngest hunter adds.
"One could even say premature." Rowena says with an 'I told you so' look.
"Um... I thought it would be enough." Gabriel utters guiltily.
"All right, great. What do we do now?"
Sam asks with slight irritation
"Hell if I know." Dean muses.
"You do know. We all do. We need archangel grace. Gabriel's obviously running a little low, and we don't know how long it'll take him to recover." Castiel explains firmly. "So that leaves exactly one source on Earth."
"No." Sam's starting to look slightly terrified.
"I don't like it either, but there is no other way." Castiel tells him.
Everyone is silent for a few minutes before they hear a slight chuckle come from the right. Gabriel looks up to see Sam has a smile on his face and a slightly maniacal glint in his eyes.
"Sam?" He asks gently confused on whats going on with the young hunter.
Sam lets out another chuckle and another, until he's he full out laughing. He slides down to the floor against the wall his face turns red from the amount of force put into it.
"Sam. Come on, don't do this." Dean says worried about his little brother mental state.
Except he couldn't stop himself he feels tear start to trail down his cheeks. He's barely able to catch his breath. He's in full on hysteria, scared almost to death of the exact thing they need to get bacm his mom and his son.
Gabriel slowly walks up and crouches down infront of him.
"Come on kiddo." The archangel pleads. "Snap out of it."
Sam is full out crying now, but giggles are still escaping his mouth. Gabe raises his hand and puts it against the hunters cheek. A sob chokes it way out between the giggles.
"Shhh it's okay. Your okay. I won't let him get you." Gabriel reassures him pulling the hunter against his chest,a nd wraps his arms around him firmly. His face becoming hidden in the crook of Gabriel's neck. "Just let all it out."
And thats it takes as he starts screaming into Gabriel's shoulder. He screams for his Dad. His Mom. Jack. Jess. Bobby. Ellen. Jo. Adam. Henry. Pamela. Madison. Ash. Sarah. Eileen. Mick. Crowley. Castiel. Gabriel. Dean. Himself.
The guilt he's carried for years.
For the torture he was put through in hell.
For loosing his soul.
For his sanity that was almost completely lost after the wall came down.
For his brother being taken over an over.
For being possessed five times.
The life he could have had, but was taken from him every time he got close.
He screams until his voice is hoarse and his throat feels raw.
Finally not physically able to scream anymore, he lifts his head up and looks into the archangels gentle and understanding golden eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He keeps repeating even as Gabe tells him over and over again that its okay and he has nothing to be sorry about.
He doesn't hear him though so caught up in his thoughts. It not until Gabriel starts screaming that he realizes he's trying to talk to him.
"-am. SAM. SAM!? Its okay. Come on, its okay. You don't have to be sorry. Everythings okay."
No its not. He thinks to himself. How could it possibly be okay?
"Why not? Sam. Come on kiddo talk to me." The ex-trickster runs his fingers through Sam's light brown hair. Oh... did I said that out loud?
"Lucifer. He'll get loose. He always gets loose. Everytime we think we have him secured." Sam shakes his head. "He'll be free again, and I won'- I can't deal with him again without cracking, Gabe. I can't do it. I can't."
Gabriel just grips him tighter and starts slowly rocking back and fourth.
"I won't let him get you. I promise. He won't touch you, Sam."
Sam stares at him not saying anything, not fully able to believe him.
"Sam..." Gabriel looks at him hesitating to ask his question, scared of the answer he may recieve.
"Do you trust me?"
Sam searches his eyes looking for any hidden doubt, finding nothing
but honesty, determination, and love.
"I trust you."
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Im not completely sure if I'm going to add another chapter or not. Thanks for reading. :)