Oh! But to Survive.

NefariousVestal

A/N: This is my first Supernatural Fan fiction I have to say I'm quite nervous. I've read som astounding stuff out there in cyberspace. Here's hoping I got the chops.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from the show. I don't even have a car so take pitty and don't sue me! Thanks!! But if you have to could you get Jensen or Jared to sever me the papers??

Summery: Angst. Sam, a hunt gone wrong. How far the older brother will go to help the younger.


Sam's long legs ate up the ground as he sprinted away from the destroyed camp site. In his arms wiggled a six year old brunette with Shirley temple ringlets. In front of him what remained of her family ran for their lives. He'd come across them while hunting a werewolf. They'd all been in a tree watching it eat their oldest son.

"Suzie- hon- you gotta - stop- wiggling!" Sam said between gasps for air.As soon as he got them to the cabin he was gonna relish taking this fuzzy sonovabitch out. Do a freaking jig around the corpse. Dance around it after setting it ablaze. Sudden memories of his brother almost brought Sam to his knees.

"But Mr. Sam, he's getting closer !". the terrified child replied. Almost out nowhere, like the answer to a fevered whispered prayer, the cabin rose from the darkness.Sam have left all the lights on before leaving and the lights gleamed, giving the sense of a heavenly offering. Everyone felt a burst of speed at the sight of sanctuary. One misstep started it. Disaster. The reason one should never hunt alone. The ground rushed up to meet Sam's fave. He twisted, trying to keep from landing on the child. Sam's shoulder took the brunt of the fall, and Suzie quickly scrambled to her feet. Sam rolled on to his back, pulling him .45 filled with silver from his waist band. "RUN" he yelled as he opened fire. The ware lunged forward, slicing open both Sam and Suzie. It's last act of violence. The world turned red. The ware rested heavily on Sam's legs and chest. The stinging pain so intense he couldn't tell where exactly he was wounded. After the loud retort of the gun the silence seemed...unnatural. Sam struggled to push the beast off of himself and stumbled to his knees. He knew without checking the child, Suzie was gone. Still some masochistic hopeful part made him search for a pulse, as he family crowed around him. The rest of the night passed in a blur. Broken hearted parents, shell shocked siblings. And fire. Cleansing fire. Still it was too much for Sam. Another death. One the anniversary of the worst day of his life. One more person he couldn't save. He didn't remember packing the Impala. Leaving the shattered family to grieve alone. Didn't kn ow how he ended up on on the side of the road in the middle of the desert. All he was aware of was sitting in gravel and sand, his back pressed against the passenger side door. His face buried in his hands. Grief chocking him. Blinding him. Breathing hurt, seeing hurt. Existing hurt. Everything hurt. An all consuming grief, so insurmountable.

"I leave you alone a year. A year Sammy and I find playing in the dirt. Damn Sammy"!

Sam's head jerked up to the familiar voice. To find Dean leaning against the Impala, a cocky smirk gracing his too pretty face. "Come on little brother, get up." Dean uncrossed his arms and stepped towards him, offering a hand to Sam. As an afterthought he added "And wipe you ass off before you get back in my car"!

"It's my car now!"Instantly Sam felt guilty for his thoughtless words. Dean's smile fell from his face as Sam broke in to tears.

"Yeah it is littler brother, your your taking good care of her for me." Dean tried to reassure his little brother who was now petting the car like a much loved dog. Sam's red ringed eyes met deans and in barely a whisper "How?". Dean knew exactly what he meant.

"Guess I wasn't so bad in life Sammy! I barely had time to start redecorating for I was popped out of the fiery Pitts and on to a big fluffy cloud. Gotta tell ya, it pissed a lot of the baddies off.", Dean laughed. When he got no answer from Sam, Dean grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him in to a hug. "Listen Sammy. I'm okay. You gotta know that. So stop. Stop grieving, Stop feeling guilty. I'm more then fine. I'm with Dad and Mom. And well we're tired of watching mopey Sammy. You're more Puppy like then ever. And whats more you're gonna get your self killed. And Dude, that's just rude".

"Rude?", Sam declared disbelieving.

"Yeah, Rude! I went to heel to save you Dude, okay so I didn't stay there but still, it's the thought that counts! So You," Dean poked a stunned Sam in the chest,"Are not allowed to die. At least not in till I say so.". Dean shot his brother a dirty look and sighed when Sammy adopted a kicked puppy expression.

"I'm sorry Dean" Sam's voice was rough with grief and lack of use."I just miss you so damn much, I cant do this alone".

"Sammy, I miss you too little brother. Dad Misses you, we all miss you. We are all so proud of you, BUT we don't want you joining us anytime soon. I didn't do what I did for you to be a hunter and get your self killed. I was trying to give you a normal life. But if this, hunting it what you want, then go for it. But stop doing it half ass. And as for the kid, Suzie, Dude she's good okay. No need for guilt. There will always be ones you can't save. Don't follow Dad's example Sammy, make a better life then just hunting". Sam grabbed his older brother, who squeezed back, Both were crying. Dean pushed away muttering about chick flick moments. "Dude, I gotta go", at Sam's Crest fallen face he added, "You knew I couldn't stay. But we're watching you. Watching over you. I'm watching over you. Just like always, Love ya little brother".

Sam's heart broke. He nodded at his hero before replying "I love you too". Dean smirked "You're such a girl.-Bitch."

"Jerk" Sam laughed. Then he was alone. On a desert road in the middle of Arizona.

Knowing he wasn't alone. Oh, But to survive, that would be the hardest part.

A/N:So let's pretend Heaven has made Dean a little softer cause I know his voice was off. But other then that. Whadya think? Anyone like it? If so there's a little button down there. Says "Review" Yeah click it! Heck if you hated it, or wanna offer suggestions, Click it

Thanks for reading anyways. I

m gonna say this is done for now, But I may do a companion piece to it later