When I was Your Man
by Rei-chu Asakura
AN: Another Song-Struck moment! :p The first time I heard 'When I was Your Man' by Bruno Mars, I felt GinKagu in it and a fic idea came to mind. Then I abused the song and played it over and over XD Memories of 'Proposal Daisakusen' also took part in inspiring this. This time, it's a fic featuring Gin's POV and it's kinda an angsty one -both of which, my first time to actually do, I think...or maybe not? XD I hope this turns out well~ ^_^ Please tell me what you think after reading; review please~ I do not own Gintama and the song, I just love them both!~ :p Have fun reading, masochist, GinKagu fans! OkiKagu fans, you win this time! By the way, listen to the song too and feel it! And let your minds wander through as many GinKagu memories as you can recall!~
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Gintoki watched the familiar redhead from afar. A familiar bright smile and pair of curious yet excited eyes graced her innocent face as she cut a portion of the big, elegant cake. She was dressed too unusually today -that long, white gown and the intricate way her long hair was tied in a bun making her look more astonishing than ever- but her familiar greediness was still there as she took a big forkful of the cake for herself, instead of feeding it to her partner according to the customs. Her cute way of realizing her mistake made everyone laugh, but Gintoki was all too familiar with her antics so he only gave out a smile. This smile, however, slowly faded when he took notice of the young man beside the her.
The familiar sandy-haired young man scooped some icing with his finger and put it on the tip of her nose, catching her completely off guard. This made the girl grit her teeth and scoop some icing herself, aiming for the guy's face, but he was able to dodge her attempts. In no time, the couple was in one of their typical fights but since everyone knew that this was just their own way of being sweet, they let the two enjoy their little scuffle and just laughed at them.
Gintoki was familiar with all of these, but somehow, familiarity was starting to sting. Hence, he took his eyes away from the sight and they quickly landed on the wine glass in front of him. No thinking required, he chugged the red liquid in one go but he got a bit frustrated when a few droplets made their way onto his blue necktie. "Tch," he muttered as he loosened the piece of cloth. He was never a fan of stiff formal wear so removing the small article wouldn't be so bad. Afterall, he has his own way of wearing his kimono so this was nothing out of the usual. 'Kagura has been influenced too much by that Michael and Jennifer show that she even made the dresscode Western...' he thought as he took off the necktie and undid the top two buttons of his shirt. 'Next time, I'll-' For some reason, his mental dialogue stopped and he froze for a second or two.
"Gin-san, where are you going?" Shinpachi's question made him realize that he was now standing up and extricating himself from their table. His answer was taking so long that the girl beside Glasses-boy was starting to look worried, too.
"Ano, Gin-san, are you not feeling well-done-steak?" Otsuu asked in a concerned tone, though her speaking habit was making it sound weird. This made Gintoki wonder if he really looked troubled or pale at the moment.
To ease up his girlfriend's worries, Shinpachi put a hand over hers and said, "Don't worry, Otsuu-chan. Gin-san probably just wants to take a dump or something-kel-twinkle-little-star."
"Why don't I just dump you two into another planet, huh?!" said the silver haired samurai, feeling a vein pop on his forehead. He didn't know if the couple's weird way of speaking was the one getting on his nerves, or if it was the fact that even Shinpachi has a lovelife now.
To make it worse, Hasegawa, who was sitting on his right, had to tease, "Maybe Gin-san is having a daddy's syndrome on his daughter's wedding day~ It's alright, Gin-san, you can have my shoulder to cry on!"
"Shut up!" Gin didn't want to be compared in any way to Umibouzu whose tears still haven't moved on. Too lazy to argue though, he merely left the chuckling three. He tried not to get much attention as he made his way out of the wedding hall. Good thing that the interesting and cute just-married couple was keeping the attention of the weirdest ones he knew; he was able to get out without any interruption. The last thing he heard was the announcement that it was now time for the couple's waltz, but it didn't entice him the least to stay and watch.
He sighed as he closed the big doors, before walking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets. The simple yet grand-looking walkway was peaceful enough to his desire, but the silence it offered only brought unwanted things to him.
Images of Kagura kept flashing in his mind - her foolish smiles, her unwomanly laugh, her honest tears, her unique caring gestures, her dangerous innocence that causes different kinds of trouble, her ability to back him up in gags, her simplemindedness, and everything about her that he has come to love. He willed the memories to shut but more just came to the surface. He figured that only one thing could help him right now, and his feet brought him to the right place.
He entered the bar at the lobby of the establishment and took a seat by the counter. With a few words said to the bar tender, Gintoki was able to get a bottle of brandy and a glass with a single rock of ice. 'I'm not feeling hard-boiled today but I guess it can't be helped.' He smiled weakly to himself.
Then, the applause from the other people caught his attention, so he turned to look at the mini stage to see what caused it. There he saw a foreigner wearing a suit similar to his, but this man also wore a hat that matched his outfit. He sat by the grand piano and flipped some sheets before playing a placid intro.
Gin couldn't help but smile as he opened the brandy bottle because the melody was perfect for his mood. His lips remained curved, finding it amusing how he and this sole piece of ice in his glass were similar. 'You alone too, huh, you cold one?' he mocked the inanimate thing as he poured the golden brown liquid onto it.
Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
'That's right, my house would be more peaceful from now on,' he thought, smiling to himself before taking a shot. He knew that the sour smell of sukonbu and the same-wavelength liveliness will not totally disappear because she promised to still work part-time for the Yorozuya… but something in him knew that things wouldn't stay the same as before.
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
He recalled the past few days – the wedding preparations, the annoying excitement of the people around him, the odd feeling of being left out. He was glad that it was all over now, but he was also unsure if its being over was really something to be glad about.
It all just sounds like ooohh~ ooohh~
Hmmm, too young, too dumb to realize...
Then, the moment when she confessed her feelings to him flashed in his mind. He could still vividly remember her words and her never-before-seen kind of seriousness that time.
That I should have bought you flowers
and held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
when I had the chance
"I said I love you, Gin-chan! Are you dumb or what?" she muttered while lowering her head. She has just given him a punch on the stomach that time so he was coughing hard as she continued, "I don't care if you're way older than me. I'm a woman now and I know very well how I feel!" Her eyes then searched for his, waiting for a reaction, but those crimson orbs just remained looking uninterested like usual.
Take you to every party
'cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing,
but she's dancing with another man
"Kagura," Gin chuckled and ruffled the head of the 16-year old. "When asking Santa for a toy, you better think hard before choosing. That fatty only comes once a year so there's no way of returning or exchanging what you received if you suddenly change your mind." That said, he walked away and left her there by the river. He could only trust that she was old enough to get what he wanted to convey, because he couldn't dare to look back at her dejected face.
My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
He remembered her wife-like care that continued despite that indirect rejection. She remained cheerful and sweet like nothing happened, that he seemed to be the one who was more affected by that confession.
Now I'll never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohhh...
And it haunts me everytime I close my eyes
While she kept on showing how she feels for him, he kept on belittling what he was sensing. He knew he also held some special feelings for her but he chose to ignore them, thinking that it was impossible for the two of them to be anything more than friends.
It all just sounds like ooohhh ooohh
Hmmm, too young, too dumb to realize
'Friendship over love'
'Pedophilia is a crime'
'It's just a little girl's crush'
"Ah, those who always make excuses are really dumb!" Gintoki lectured the chuckling bar tender before gulping down his seventh shot.
That I should have bought you flowers
and held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
when I had the chance
He couldn't recall how the OkitaxKagura pair started, but he was sure it developed into something more evident about a year after that confession. No one would've thought that the guy she always fights could be that caring and sweet in his special way later on.
Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man
Gin didn't know if the pain he caused her made her fall for the Shinsengumi guy easier or those kids' spark -the romantic one- was something that was really there from the beginning. Anyhow, it only took a year of being together for the excited little bastard to propose marriage to her. 'And now, my baby is indeed dancing with another man.' A sardonic smirk made its way onto his lips.
Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong...
'Yeah, I wasted my chance, so what?' he thought lazily. His survival instincts were trying to make him optimistic - make him care less about not-so-good things like he usually does. However, his mind still chose to replay those fun-filled memories with her - everything from how he teaches her stupid stuff that she believes wholly, to how they both fight with their best to save someone or to simply earn some food money, and how Shinpachi scolds them both whenever they're doing their synchronous idiocies. He found it amusing how these memories made him smile everytime he recalls them.
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know...
He poured himself another glass of his drink and took down his Nth shot right away. 'Everybody screws up from time to time, right? Even factory managers make mistakes; that's why strikes exist, heh. It's nothing that big, it just... It just hurts a little...'
Just then, when the song arrived at a sudden pause, he heard a familiar voice that said, "Gin-chan!"
I hope he buys you flowers,
I hope he holds your hand
He turned around and saw Kagura, grinning as she approached him. "I knew you'd be here!"
"It's almost time for your speech, Danna," said Sougo whom she was pulling behind her. Gin had to smirk when he noticed that the two were indeed hand-in-hand, just like what the song was saying.
Give you all his hours
when he has the chance
'I know he's a good guy and he can handle her well.'
"You're using that trick to get a free drink again, huh?" Kagura's eyes widened in amazement, making Gintoki smiled a little in return.
Take you to every party 'cause I remember how much you loved to dance
'And she's happy with him.'
"Get over with those childish looks," he said while picking his nose. Instinctively, Kagura mirrored the gesture as she listened to him continue, "You're marr- You're old now. Do you want Souichirou-kun to look like he's taking care of a kid?"
Do all the things I should have done
when I was your man
'That's right, I'm fine as long as she's happy.'
Sougo couldn't help but smile while watching the two nonchalantly rub their boogers onto each other as Kagura answered, "Like you're one to talk, Gin-chan. You never act your age."
Do all the things I should have done
when I was your man
'...'
Gintoki merely responded with a knowing smile as he stood up and said, "Let's go. I have to publicly wish you two happiness." The couple smiled at his lazy walking figure before tagging along. "Ah~ a speech is so troublesome."
'Souichiro-kun, take good care of Kagura, will you?'
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AN: I had a hard time finishing this, gyaa! _ It wasn't that dramatic, was it? Well, it probably depends on the mood of the reader XD i hope you liked/enjoyed it, though! ^_^ Please tell me what you think or feel~ :3 or what GinKagu moments you recalled while reading n_n I'd be super happy to hear from you! :D thank you for reading! ^o^